Final Play (Matchplay Series) (8 page)

I thrust inside Ella with everything I had. I was pumping so hard, and I got so lost in the moment, that I panicked when I realized I could be hurting her. But when I regained my senses long enough to really look at her, I could see Ella was gleaming.

“Don’t stop,” she muttered. “God, don’t stop.”

I always do as I’m told, so I continued on my quest for another Big O. In what could only be described in the crudest of terms, I completely and totally fucked her.

I continued pumping at a near frenzied pace until she grabbed my ass and I could feel her clench around my dick. And when she let out a scream of pleasure, I finally let go. The release
was so intense, I felt a head rush (big head not little one) and the most intense surge of euphoria I had ever experienced. If there was a Heaven on Earth, I had found it with Ella.

After the aftershocks subsided, I looked deep into Ella’s eyes. When I wiped a small bead of sweat from her temple, I realized I had sweat pouring down my face. I took a quick swipe at my forehead with the back of my hand but I was drenched.

“That was quite a workout,” she laughed.

I noticed that I didn’t have that awkward post-sex feeling I had experienced with other partners. I felt completely and totally comfortable with Ella. I didn’t feel judged and left wanting. I didn’t feel like I had to say or do anything. I felt like we could just be with each other.

I knew I’d have to withdraw soon to depose of the condom. I didn’t want there to be a mess. But part of me didn’t want to lose the connection with Ella. I placed a kiss on her lips and then slowly withdrew. I quickly made my way to the bathroom and removed the condom.

I had to steady myself against the sink for a moment because I got light headed. I was overcome
with exhaustion. I found a washcloth under the sink and wiped myself down with a dampened cloth. I made sure to wrap the condom in several tissues before I threw it into the waste bin. Then a twinge of panic set in as I imagined Ella disappearing, me waking up and the entire experience being a dream.

When I walked back into the bedroom, Ella was exactly where I had left her. I breathed a
small sigh of relief. This wasn’t a dream and Ella was real. Everything we did actually happened. There she was, her eyes fixed on me, as I made my way back to the bed.

“Don’t put on any clothing,” she said as I reached for my boxer briefs. “Let’s sleep skin on skin.”

I had to admit I found the idea intriguing. Not only had I never slept in the nude, I had never slept with another person completely naked. “Okay,” I agreed as I climbed back into bed.

As soon as I took my place next to her, Ella wasted no time snuggling up next to me. She laid her head on my chest and threw her leg over mine. Then I placed my hand on her back and pulled her closer. She wanted skin on skin and that’s exactly what she got. She let out a little contended sigh and said, “I love listening to your heartbeat.”

I knew it was too soon for me to tell Ella that I loved everything about her. I didn’t want to ruin our perfect night with any drama or heavy declarations of undying love. I just wanted to feel Ella in my arms, curled up next to me, listening to my heartbeat.

***

When I opened my eyes, it took me a minute to realize where I was and that Ella and I were still entwined. We had slept naked and in each other’s arms all night. Another first. Not that I didn’t enjoy post-coital cuddling. I was a bit of a romantic that way. But I had to get to work early every morning and it was easier and more practical to sleep at my own place.

I placed a soft kiss on Ella’s forehead and she stirred. “I need to get up to see what time it is.” Although the shades in Ella’s room were drawn, I could see sunlight peeking through the cracks and I had a sinking feeling I was already late for work.

Ella released her hold on me and sleepily flopped back down on her pillow that had remained unused all night. Apparently my chest acted as an adequate substitute.

I rose from the bed and grabbed my watch from the nightstand. It was already quarter past seven and I was due into work at eight. Not much time to get back to my apartment, get showered and dressed and still get to work. There was little doubt I was going to be late. Luckily, I wasn’t an hourly employee. Going in late meant I’d have to stay later in the evening. I was usually the first one into the office in the morning and the last one to go home at night. It was a practice that had earned me employee of the year two years running.

I was sure I would be the subject of unrelenting office gossip when I strolled in at 8:30 a.m. with the rest of the engineers.

I didn’t want to rush out. I didn’t want to do anything that might upset Ella but I also didn’t want to be too late
for work.

“I really need to get to the office,” I stated. “I don’t want to be late.”

Ella glanced up at me from her slumber. “You’re so cute.”

“Why is that?” I asked as I started getting dressed.

“You’re always worried about doing the right thing. Is there any way in which you’re not perfect?”

I laughed. No one had ever said I was perfect before—except maybe that I was the
perfect nerd
or the
perfect geek
. “There are so many ways in which I’m not perfect they’re too numerous to mention.”

She gave me a seductive little smile. “You could phone in sick. Play hooky. We could spend the day in bed.”

“As tempting as that sounds. And it sounds very tempting. I really do have to get to work. I’m in the middle of a huge project and I’ve already fallen behind. I’ll probably need to stay late tonight.”

Ella shot up from the bed. “Will you be here tonight?”

I placed a knee on the bed and leaned over to place a kiss on her forehead. “I’m not sure I’ll be able to make it tonight. I don’t want to make any promises I can’t keep. I have a lot of work to do but if I make significant headway today, then I’ll definitely be able to see you tomorrow.”

“Okay,” she muttered but she wasn’t looking at me. Her eyes were fixed on her bed.

“Ella, look at me, please.”

She ignored me and kept her eyes down.

When I placed my hand under her chin and carefully lifted her head, I noticed her eyes were wet. She blinked back tears.

I quickly thought about all the reasons why she could be u
pset. Given her history, I wondered if she thought I wasn’t going to come back. Maybe she thought I was going to
have fun and run
like the other guys she had been with.

“Ella, I promise I’m coming back. You have my word. I just can’t promise it will be tonight. I have to see how quickly I can get my work done. I have a feeling it’s going to be a pretty late night, though.”

My heart sank when the gleam in her eyes seemed to fade away. I got the feeling she didn’t believe me. I knew I would be back—nothing could keep me from seeing Ella again—but obviously she didn’t. I had no idea what I could do to convince her.

I knew it was the wrong thing to do as soon as I did it but I glanced at my watch. It was already 7:30 a.m. It was now at the point when I would be hard pressed to get in
by 8:30 a.m. I actually considered her suggestion of phoning in sick but just as quickly dismissed it. I had never taken a sick day and I didn’t want my first one to be a complete lie. Besides, I’m a terrible liar.

“You should get going,” Ella said dismissively. She still wasn’t looking me in the eye.

I felt so conflicted. She was clearly upset. I didn’t want to leave her alone but I had to get to work. “I’ll be back tomorrow night after work. I promise.”

“Okay,” she said but when she looked up at me her eyes looked dead. I could feel my heart breaking into a million little pieces.

“Can I give you a hug…please?”

Ella didn’t reply. She got up from the bed and threw on a silk kimono robe that was lying on a chair next to the window. She made her way over to me and then stood in front of me with her arms crossed over her chest.

When I put my arms around her, she let her guard down and melted into my arms. I could hear a little snuffle that sounded like she was holding back tears. I wanted to tell her that I was completely and totally in love with her but I’m not sure why I didn’t. It just didn’t seem like the right time. I wanted it to be perfect and special and not come across as manipulative.

“Nothing is going to keep me from you, Ella. I want you to understand that.” I placed a soft kiss on her forehead. “Just give me some time to get things sorted out at work.”

She didn’t respond. She just buried her head in my chest, so I pulled her tighter. I didn’t want to let her go. I didn’t want to walk out that door with her having any doubts about me and my intentions. I wanted her to be sure about me. I wanted her to trust me. But I knew that would take time.

“See you soon, Ella,” I promised as I let her go. As she wit
hdrew from my arms, I already felt like a piece of me was missing. I wondered how someone could become such a vital part of my life so quickly. 

Five

When I arrived at work at 8:45 a.m., I was subjected to a lot of whispers and several gaping mouths as I hurried down the walkway toward my office. Harper, Hanson and Associates was a small engineering firm with mostly young engineers and support staff. The founders of the company were only in their early 40s and they were a least a decade older than the rest of the staff members. 

As I passed by Ms. Lila, the office assistant for our small d
epartment, I heard her gasp. She quickly covered her exclamation with a “Good morning, Mr. Young.”

As I glanced over at her, I noticed worry was lining her young Asian face.  Ms. Lila was around my age, originally from Tha
iland. She was an attractive woman with a big heart. She was also a very hard worker and I had a lot of respect for her.

“Is everything okay,” she asked, clearly concerned about my tardy appearance.

I smiled at her. “Yes, everything is fine.”

“The nine o’clock staff meeting has been cancelled,” she sta
ted.

I let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks.”

She furrowed her brow as if she was still concerned. “If you need anything, just let me know.”

“I will. Thank you, Ms. Lila.”

As soon as Ms. Lila left, Rick, Rusty and Ron, the Moe, Larry and Curly of the engineering firm, stumbled into my office and closed the door.

“Dude,” Rick said. “Did you finally get laid?”

I sighed. Was it that obvious? Was that the only possible reason that I could have for being late? I wanted to say I had a doctor’s appointment, or even better, a dental appointment, but I knew the lie would never have legs.

“A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell,” I replied.

“Is she hot?” Ron probed.

“Does she have big tits?” Rusty added. He made sure to place his hands under his chest in such a way to indicate a big breasted woman.

“I have a lot of work to do,” I stated as I opened my office door. I hoped they’d take the hint.

“
Awww,” Ron cried. “Aren’t you going to give us any of the details?”

“Dude,” Rick cried. “Come on. At least tell us what she looks like.”

“She’s attractive,” I admitted. “Now will you please leave so I can start my work?”

“I knew it.” Ron slapped his leg in affirmation.

Rusty snorted. “Were you rocking her bed all night long?”

“Time to leave,” I stated as I pushed the motley trio out the door. Rick, Rusty and Ron were perfect examples of why eng
ineers had the stereotype of being complete geeks. From their thick framed glasses to their acne-scarred faces, the members of this wacky threesome were casebook examples of geek.

I heaved a sigh when the door finally closed behind them. It was only 9 a.m. and I already felt like it should be afternoon. I knew it was going to be a very long day.

I did my best to concentrate on the project I had been assigned. It was the type of high level project I had longed for since I was an intern at the firm. But now that I was in the midst of it, it didn’t seem as important.

My thoughts kept going back to Ella. I couldn’t get rid of the image I had in my head of her, as she looked up at me, her eyes filled with disappointment and fear. I felt my heart break a little bit more every time I thought about it.

I knew I had to do something so she would know how I felt about her but I wasn’t sure what exactly that would be. I knew all she really wanted was me but I also knew it was impossible for me to always be there physically. I needed a way for her to know that I was always with her in mind and spirit even if my body wasn’t.

I tried my best to concentrate on my work but thoughts kept creeping back to Ella. My feelings towards her were so intense and so new to me I wasn’t sure exactly what to do with all of them. Was this what being in love felt like? It was overwhelming.

I worked straight through lunch and Ms. Lila was kind enough to bring me back a sandwich when she returned from the little diner right next to our office building.

I wished I could just talk with Ella for a few minutes to make sure she was okay but she didn’t have a phone. I couldn’t even drive over to her place on my break because she was too far from the office and I didn’t have enough time.

Besides, I was on a roll and I wanted to get the project done. I was fairly close to completion. I knew if I stayed late, until eight or nine, I could complete it and then I’d have more flexibility for the rest of the week to spend nights with Ella.

At five o’clock, there was a knock on my office door and Ms. Lila poked her head in. “Would you like me to order a dinner delivery before I leave?”

“That would be terrific!” I didn’t even realize how hungry I was until she mentioned food and my stomach starting growling.

“Chinese?” she asked.

“You read my mind.”

“Do I get paid extra for that?” she joked.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

By 8:30 p.m. I was exhausted but the project
was done. I just needed to make a few tweaks, which I could easily accomplish in the morning. I was ready to go home.

As I drove back to my apartment, I debated stopping by E
lla’s just to make sure she was okay. She was on my mind a lot and I was worried about her. Something just didn’t feel right about the way we left things and, as ridiculous as I knew it sounded, I just felt like the connection between us was off.

It was close to nine o’clock and I didn’t feel right about knocking on Ella’s door in the middle of the night. I didn’t want her to think I was the type of guy that was going to crash at her place. But I also couldn’t shake the feeling that I should see her—that she needed me.

As was my style, I cast my feelings aside and went with the logical solution. It was late. I didn’t want to be rude and disturb her. I knew I would see her tomorrow evening. So, I went home and went to bed.

***

The next day, I arrived at work before anyone else. I was back to being a dedicated model employee. The guy everyone could count on no matter what. The guy who got every project done before the deadline and completed each project with precision and mastery.

The only problem was that
no matter how hard I tried to concentrate on the task in front of me all I could think about was Ella. I knew something was wrong. I could feel it. I also felt like I had made a tragic mistake by not seeing her the previous night. 

At little after noon, Ms. Lila stuck her head into my office. At first, I thought she might ask about picking up lunch but when I looked up, I saw that worry lined her face. “Mr. Young, there’s someone here to see you.”

I quickly pulled up my schedule on my laptop. Had a forgotten about a client meeting? I didn’t see any appointments. “Who is it?”

She scrunched her face even tighter. “I don’t know. She wouldn’t say.
A young woman.”

I stood and followed the tiny office assistant to the reception area. I was surprised to see Ella standing there. She looked so small, like she had shrunk since the last time I saw her. My surprise immediately turned to despair when I saw how tired and haggard she looked. Dark circles shadowed her eyes and her normally silky hair was plastered to her head. She was also wearing worn out
, paint-filled jeans and an equally worn-out, paint-filled tee shirt.

And she was barefoot.

“Ella,” I couldn’t hold back the concern in my voice. “What are you doing here?”

“I need you.” Her words were like a desperate plea.

“I get off work in a few hours. I’ll come by right after work. I promise.” I now deeply regretted not seeing her the previous night. Whatever was going on now probably could have been avoided.

Tears starting streaming down Ella’s face.
“Please,” she managed to get out through a sob.

I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to reveal about my relatio
nship with Ella to Ms. Lila. We really didn’t talk about our personal lives with each other. But Ella looked so fragile, like she was cracking right in front of me, and I sensed that I was the only one who could hold her together. So, I took a step toward her and took her into my arms. She melted into my embrace.

“I need you,” she whispered.

“I promise I’ll be there right after work. Just let me finish up here.”

When I looked in her eyes, she didn’t seem convinced. I wasn’t sure she was thinking completely rationally.

She averted my gaze. “You don’t want me.”

My heart sank. I wondered how she could have possibly a
rrived at the conclusion. Not seeing her yesterday was clearly a mistake. In hindsight, I obviously would have done things differently. Her not having a phone was also an issue. I knew with certainty that I was going to see her again but I now understood that she didn’t know that. She didn’t have that same level of certainty. And why should she, given her history? The pieces started to fall together quickly and her demeanor suddenly made a lot more sense.

I wanted her more than anything but I needed to be able to convince her of that.  “I do want you,” I stated.

“I’m not a doll you can put away on a shelf and take down to play with whenever you want.”

Was that truly how she felt? It hit me like a brick to the side of my head. Did she think I was using her, just like every other guy, to satisfy my own needs? Had I not taken into account her needs and her desires? She did tell me how important it was for her to see me every day and I chose to ignore it because I put work before her.

But work was important. I needed my job to survive. Maybe she didn’t understand the significance of that because she had so much money from her family she never needed to work.

I kissed her cheek. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. We can talk more about this later. I promise I will be there right after work. I won’t even go home first. I’ll go right to your place.”

She furrowed her brows as she seemed to digest what I had just said. “Okay,” she agreed finally. “I’ll see you after work.”

I felt a twinge of fear, maybe even slight panic, as I loosened my hold on her. Something was still not right but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. I considered telling my boss I had an eme
rgency and taking the afternoon off to be with her. She looked like she could fall to pieces at any moment.

I placed my hand on her shoulder. “I’ll be there by six. I promise.”

“Okay,” she said a little too calmly. Her voice sounded empty and hollow. Another shiver ran through me. I felt like she didn’t believe me.

Then she turned and walked away.

When I turned to walk back to my office, Ms. Lila was staring at me, her mouth agape. I didn’t feel like explaining the situation to her even though I thought I should say something. I’m sure the entire exchange, and Ella’s appearance, looked odd.

“That’s my girlfriend,” I muttered as I passed by the office assistant.

“I gathered that,” she replied. “Is she okay?”

“I’m not sure.” I truly wasn’t.

It was even more difficult to concentrate when I went back to my office. I wondered how much of Ella’s insecurity was due to her mental illness and how much could be attributed to her past relationships. Maybe it didn’t even matter. They seemed to be interconnected.

As soon as the clock hit 5 p.m., I dashed out of the office and practically ran to my car. The ominous feeling I had when Ella left hadn’t subsided; if anything, it had gotten worse. I’m norma
lly an extremely careful and safe driver, always obeying the rules of the road. But this time, I didn’t care. I sped to Ella’s house and made it in record time. It was twenty minutes to six by the time I knocked on her front door.

My heart sank when there was no answer. Soon my knocks turned into desperate pounding when the door still didn’t open.

“Ella,” I nearly screamed. “Where are you?”

As I continued my frantic pounding, it occurred to me that maybe she wasn’t there. Maybe she had left. But where would she go? The only place I could think of was the art studio.

I tried to consider all the reasons for her odd behavior. I knew some of it could probably be attributed to bipolar disorder but I also felt like there was something else going on. I tried to put myself in her shoes and look at things from her perspective. From the little she had told me and what I could deduce, she hadn’t had many positive experiences with men. If all of the guys, or even some of them, had treated her the way Steel treated her, she probably didn’t feel good about relationships and her place in them. She had every reason to believe I would be just like all the other guys, even though I told her I wasn’t. I’m sure other guys had told her the same thing and they probably ended up being lies or half-truths.

Or maybe it was more difficult to be with someone with b
ipolar disorder than I realized and the other guys eventually gave up. Maybe they didn’t feel Ella was worth the hassle. As Steel said:
that chick is high maintenance
. Maybe he wasn’t the only guy who felt that way.

But I had no intentions of giving up on Ella. I had already made the decision that I was in this thing no matter what. Isn’t that what love truly is?
To accept a person completely, both the good and the bad. I felt like there was something much deeper drawing us together. Like we were supposed to be learning important life lessons from each other.