Filthy Beautiful Love (15 page)

Chapter Fourteen

Colton

Against my better judgment, I returned to work. Sophie assured me that it was important that we both resume our normal schedules. But as one week turns into two and Sophie continues her descent into a woman I no longer recognize, I know I need to call in reinforcements.

There were a few days there that gave me hope she was getting better. She'd gone for a jog, had stopped by Kylie's to see the baby once, and had actually talked to the grief counselor I sent to the house. But as I arrive home from work tonight, my heart shatters at what I find.

Sophie is sitting on the balcony that extends from my office. The wind is whipping her hair wildly around her face and goosebumps cover her flesh. A storm is coming, but she seems oblivious to that fact.

Her skin is pale, and her expression hollow. She's merely a shell of the girl I fell in love with. Giant blue eyes are staring blankly at the ocean and she's taking huge sips of my bourbon straight from the bottle. And the way she no longer grimaces at the taste tells me that this is probably a regular occurrence.
Fuck
.

"Baby?" I ask, approaching her with caution.

Her head turns in my direction and she blinks several times. "I'm losing it, Colton."

I kneel down on the deck in front of her and cup her face in my hands. "Losing what, sweetness?"

"Everything. The sound of her voice. The way she smelled. How it felt when we were together…"

I sit there, speechless, holding her cheeks and watch her eyes fill with tears.
Fuck, Colton, think.

She's completely fucking broken right now and I'm worried that the only one who'd know how to put her back together again is Becca, the sister she shared a womb with for nine months, the best friend she loved without question. I'm terrified that I'm not enough, that my love will never be enough.

"I have to pee," she says after several seconds, then rises unsteadily to her feet.

I walk her to the bathroom, helping to keep her stable. "How much bourbon did you have?" That shit is strong. Strong enough to knock me on my ass after one small glass.

"Not enough," she says, her feet twisting beneath her. I grab around her waist, keeping her face from smacking against the floor.
Dammit
. 

When we reach the bathroom, I maneuver her into the room, pull her shorts and panties down to her ankles and then sit her down on the toilet. "I'll be right outside the door."

She nods and I close the door behind me.

I can hear the sound of her peeing and muttering something to herself. Something about pink Starbursts.
What the hell?

Standing in the hall, I fish my cell phone from my pocket and dial Pace's number.

"I need your help."

"Sophie?" he asks.

"Yeah. She's drunk off her ass. Drank a whole bunch of that hundred-year old bourbon. I'm scared and I don't know what to do."

"That shit's strong. Has she eaten?" he asks.

"No, I doubt it. She mumbled something about pink Starbursts."

"I'm on it, bro. Just breathe. I'll be there soon."

Just as Pace makes it inside the house, the sky turns dark and a loud roar of thunder crashes in the distance. The rain will be here soon.

"Where is she?" he asks.

"The bedroom." I'd laid her down with a photobook from my last trip to Africa. It seemed that she could look at the photos of the small villages, the people, the children for hours on end. 

"What do you want me to do?" he asks.

"We need macaroni and cheese."

"You should have told me, I could have picked some up." He holds up a plastic bag that is filled with at least a dozen packages of Starburst candy.

"No, we need to make it homemade."

"How do we do that?"

"I don't know. Google it, I suppose."

He nods and heads into the kitchen.

"Bring it up when it's ready," I tell him, then head for the stairs.

Sophie is snoring softly, but when I cross the bedroom, she lifts her head and blinks several times, her eyes unfocused. I'm glad she got some rest, however brief.

"How are you feeling?" I ask, sitting beside her on the bed.

"Groggy," she confirms, pushing the messy hair from her face.

"I thought I could run you a hot bath. It might help you relax."

She nods. "Okay."

At least she lets me take care of her. She doesn’t fight me on that. If she did, I'd really feel helpless and out of control. As it is, I know my subtle gestures may not help much, but at least I can do something.

I turn on the hot water and watch the tub fill. After dumping in a generous amount of something in a purple jar called
Stress Fix
, I go gather Sophie.

She lets me carry her into the bathroom, undress her, then lower her down into the water.

"How is it?" I ask once she's settled.

"Nice," she says and treats me to a rare small smile.

My heart leaps, God I've missed seeing her happy.

"Will you be okay for a few minutes? I'm going to get you some clothes."

She nods. "You're coming back, right?"

"Yes," I confirm.

Once I have a fresh change of clothes for her, I reenter the bathroom, set them on the counter, pull out the stool from the vanity and sit.

"Thanks for staying." She grins at me again.

"Of course I'm staying. Do you want me to wash your hair for you?"

She shakes her head. "I washed it earlier. I do still shower, you know."

"I know you do." I did not in fact know this.

"I'm not broken you know."

"I know you're not."

I wait on the stool, and check my work email on my phone while Sophie lounges in the tub. She sinks down into the water and rests her head against the edge, her eyes closed and a blank look across her features. When she secures her hair in a messy knot at the top of her head, I can tell she's still drunk by her uncoordinated movements.

My stomach churns with worry. I try not to hover, try not to stare, and instead focus on responding to the dozens of unread mail messages, but it's hard. Thoughts of her consume my entire being.

When I hear movement in the water, I glance up. Sophie has risen, standing in the center of the tub with streams of soapy water cascading down her body. My eyes wander lazily from the tips of her full breasts down to her bare pussy and I feel my body take notice of hers. My cock throbs, swelling against my thigh. The fucking bastard has bad timing. But a naked Sophie is not something I can ignore, no matter how somber the situation.

I grab a towel as she steps out of the tub and onto the bathmat. She lets me dry her from head to toe, seemingly oblivious to my semi-aroused state.

Sophie stands there, watching me with wide blue eyes. When I grab the pajamas from the bathroom counter, a small pout crosses her full lips.

Ignoring the urge to kiss the frown away, I hold out the pair of panties, and dutifully, Sophie raises one foot at a time and steps into them.

"How are you feeling?" I ask. My voice is too damn thick with arousal. I clear my throat.

"Better," she says, her own voice just a whisper.

"Good." I'm glad the bath helped, and I'm hoping the food Pace is preparing will make her good as new. "I don't want you drinking like that when I'm not home."

I lift her chin up so I can see her eyes.

"I know." She swallows. "It was just a bad day."

Shit. Now I feel like an asshole.

I stroke her cheek and press a tender kiss to her lips. "You're allowed to have bad days. I just don't want to worry about you, okay?"

She nods and leans in for another kiss. "I miss you, Colton. I miss us."

"I'm right here, sweetness. I'm not going anywhere." I press my lips to hers and feel the exact second the kiss changes, turns hot and filled with a lusty promise of something more.

Sophie parts her lips and her tongue lightly probes my mouth. Instinctually, I open, my own tongue running lightly along hers. I know I shouldn't be doing this, but it's been too long since I've kissed her–really kissed her and I'm craving her warmth, and a sense of normalcy. She sucks my tongue into her mouth and I swallow down a rough groan of pleasure.

Pulling back just a fraction, I check her eyes. They are shining bright with desire, weakening my resolve. It doesn’t help that she's bare chested and warm and standing mere inches from me. I'm inches from having her heavy full breasts in my hands and my mouth, my face between her creamy thighs. I take a step back, needing to put some distance between us. Only I didn’t count on that providing Sophie a direct view of the erection tenting my slacks.

Her eyes zero in on the bulge and she licks her lips.

Goddamn.

Focus, Colton!

"Here, baby. Let's get you dressed." I grab the t-shirt and try to help her put it on.

She takes it from me and drops it to the floor. "No."

"No?"

She shakes her head, her eyes still eating me up. "I want you…I want you to fuck me."

A fresh round of blood pumps south, making my dick throb. "No, not right now. Not tonight." She's not in the right frame of mind. I'd be taking advantage. I list out a thousand reasons in my head, fighting with myself as she watches me.

"Please?" she asks.

I shake my head. "No. Now please get dressed." Pace is due up here with her dinner any minute. I certainly don’t want him getting an eyeful. Her gorgeous rack is reserved for me and me alone.

She reaches down and clasps her hand around my cock, giving him a light squeeze. "Fuck me, Colton. Make me feel better," she begs.

I remove her hand. "No way. You're drunk. I'm not fucking you."

Bringing her hands up, she cups her breasts, lifting them together and rubs her fingers over her nipples. She releases a shuddery whisper soft sigh as though the sensation is the most pleasurable thing she's felt in a long time.

I stand there, transfixed, watching her touch her breasts. She's so beautiful I want to throw her down on the bathroom floor and fuck her six ways from Sunday. But I won't. I have a little more restraint than that. I would certainly be beating my dick later with very image in my head, once she was tucked into bed, but she doesn’t need to know that. She gives her nipples a little tug and rasps out a throaty groan. Then she drops her hands.

Thank God her little show is over. I couldn’t take much more.

But then she pulls down the panties I've dressed her in and begins rubbing her fingers over her tight bundle of nerves.
Fuck.
She's so incredibly sexy and desperate…

The panties drop from her knees and slide to the floor. My gaze follows their movement and I realize it's the same pair of pale blue panties she wore to the auction. I feel all my resolve fall away. I scrub my hands over my face.
Fuck it
. I shouldn’t, but we haven’t made love in two weeks and I'm desperate to feel her around me.

"Sophie, are you sure you want this?" My hands unconsciously move to my erection and I adjust him.

She follows my movements and nods. "Yes. I need it."

"Undo me." I look down at my lap and Sophie brings her hands to my button, sliding it free and pulling down the zipper slowly. Her hands work into the front of my pants, pushing inside my boxers and she takes my cock into her palm, gripping it tightly and stroking. A drop of fluid leaks from the tip and she smears it around with her thumb, causing my knees to go weak.

In that moment, I fully give in. If she wants a distraction, if she needs to forget all of the pain and misery of the past several weeks, then who am I to deny her that?

I grip her wrists, pulling her hands free from my pants. "Slow down, baby." It feels too good, and I want us both to enjoy this. I won't last if she keeps pumping my dick like that.

She draws her lower lip into her mouth and pouts before meeting my eyes. But what she sees when she looks at my eyes tells her everything she needs to know. I'm going to take care of her. I'm going to make her come so hard she'll forget her own damn name.

I lift her by her waist, setting her down on the bathroom counter. I step between her thighs, widening them and she tugs at my shirt in a fight to get closer. She's fully naked and I'm still fully clothed.

"Your shirt," she breathes.

"Yes, sweetness?"

"Take it off. I need to feel your skin."

I comply, unbuttoning the top few buttons, then yanking my shirt off over my head.

She tugs me close, until the tips of her breasts brush my bare chest and we both shudder at the contact and the rush of endorphins it releases. It's been too damn long.

I bend and take one of her gorgeous breasts in my mouth, my tongue laving her left nipple, then her right. Sophie arches her back and pushes her hands into my hair, letting me devour her. I want to take my time, make sure she's ready for me, but each time we're together feels like an explosion of sexual energy and I'm unable to control myself. Something I'm not used to.

I move back to kissing her mouth, my tongue greedy and sucking at hers. Her hands wander back into my pants, enthusiastically rubbing my cock. I know this is going to be quicker than I want it to be, but maybe that's what she needs.

With our mouths fused together and her hands in my pants, I find her wet center and push my index and middle finger inside. She gasps into my mouth, momentarily stilling before continuing the onslaught she's launched against making me come too soon. My other hand plays with her breasts and nipples, and Sophie whimpers while enthusiastically pumping me in her hands.

"Baby, easy…" I take her hands again, stopping her and feeling like a fucking jackass.

She grins up at me, clearly proud of herself. God, it's good to see her smile. If this is all it takes to make her feel whole okay, then sign me up.

"I can't wait any longer," I admit.

She shoves my pants and boxers the rest of the way down my hips, allowing me to angle my cock against her. When I shove forward, disappearing inside her perfect pink opening, we let out a collective groan.