Filthy (A Stepbrother Romance) #1 (4 page)

              Have you ever tried to convince yourself that you don’t really need someone in your life? I had spent the last two hours doing that, listening to Nick go on and on about a party that I had missed because I was too busy sitting at home, listening to Mia down the hall talk to someone on the phone. The girl I brought here as a means to make Mia jealous was doing nothing but aggravating me, and I was pretty sure that Matt had been checking Mia out when she came in.

              “I’m going to Donovan’s party next week. The one with the giant fire pit and booze up to your eye balls. You better be going man.” Nick cut his eyes to mine. He was one of the few guys I got a long with. It was hard to keep friends when you ended up sleeping with everyone’s girlfriends. I never said I was a good guy.

              “I’ll go, but Mia has to go too. I have to keep an eye on her,” I lied, knowing all too well that getting her to go would be an epic pain in the ass. I knew the party life wasn’t her scene. Book reading and watching some show called
The Shadow Hunters
was. Nick seemed annoyed at the thought, and I’m sure it wasn’t directed toward Mia, but more so me because since she came around I had changed.

              “You said we would do something fun tonight.” Mandy’s nails ran down my back. Normally that would’ve turned me and had me harder than a diamond... not this time though. All I could think about was the one fucking thing I couldn’t have.

              “Mia.” Matt said her name as if he was excited to see her, and for a second I wondered if I had said the thought out loud. I turned in my chair watching as Mia slowly walked into the room. Her eyes weren’t on me but on Matt.

              Fuck no.

              “I know you invited me down earlier, but I had homework to do. But now, I’m done.” Her hair was up in a bun on top of her head, and she was wearing a pair of gray sweats with a t-shirt that said
My blog’s better than your blog.

What the hell did that even mean?

              “That was a one time deal,
sis.”
I carried out the word sis, making sure she was aware of what she was.

              “This is my house too, so I think I’ll do whatever I want.” She dropped down onto the couch right next to Matt. I could see the pickup lines forming in the small-brained idiot’s head.

              Jealousy. It was a real fucking bitch. Still, I smirked knowing I could give her a dose of her own medicine. Nick turned a movie on, and I turned down the lights. Mandy snuggled into my side, and as she did eyes seemed to embed into my skull. I knew she was watching, and I knew she had to be just as jealous as I was.

              “You promised to fuck me,” she pouted, her lips right next to my ear. I could feel her nipples poking through her shirt, and normally being the gentlemen I am I would’ve taken her right here, right now. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. Even if I wanted to be a prick to Mia, I couldn’t hurt her like that. Something about her made me want to do better, be better, even if the reasoning wasn’t all there.

              “I will, baby,” I whispered back to her, grabbing her hand and placing it in my lap to grip my cock. I pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and my eyes shot to Mia’s. She wasn’t even paying attention to me. Instead she was talking to Matt about some class they must have had together.

              Frustration hit me hard. The fact that I wanted Mia and couldn’t have her made it worse. I was a fucking mess, all over a little pussy. I didn’t think so. I covered Mandy and I with the blanket and waited for Mandy to do whatever she could to make me forget about Mia for a few minutes.

              My eyes focused on the screen as Mandy gripped my cock in a vice grip, her hand barely fitting around it. She slid up and down, each stroke making me want to scream out. I placed my hand on top of hers urging her to go faster. I was sure Mia knew what was going, on at least right now. My eyes drifted closed for a moment and the image of Mia appeared in my mind.

              Fuck no. Mia wasn’t getting to be the reason why I came again. I pulled Mandy’s hand away, even though I was so close to getting my release. Rage burned through me. I was so angry that this girl had weaseled her way in under my skin. So angry that she had such an adverse effect on me.

              “I would love to meet up for coffee or something,” I heard Matt ask her. I wasn’t sure why I acted on the emotions I was feeling or why I cared about what she did with Matt. She wasn’t mine, and I didn’t have girlfriends, but I still stepped in and said something.

              “Everyone out,” I ordered. I wasn’t sure where my head was today, but I needed space from everyone. I needed to talk to Mia without everyone being here. Eyes landed against me. Nick’s face all but said are you fucking serious and Mia looked like she ate something sour.

              “I mean it; leave, get the fuck out.” Mandy and Nick groaned. Matt seemed to get what I was saying because they all hustled toward the door without another warning. Mia stood from the couch, her face a mask of anger and confusion. I understood what she was feeling. I just didn’t know how to explain my feelings to her. I was better at using my dick then using words.

              “That was fucking low and even for you,” I argued. I was ready to bend her over the couch and spank her ass till it was cherry red after what she had just pulled.

              “Low?” Her eyebrows shot up, and she looked like she was ready to blow a gasket. I clenched my fists at my side waiting for her to finish. “Low is letting Mandy give you a fucking hand job under the blanket in the living room with everyone here. I am allowed to go out with whoever I want, whenever I want, and no one— not even Talon Fuckin’ Reed— can stop me from doing it.” One of her fingers poked me in the chest, her touch melting away at the icy cold block around my heart.

              “I do what I have to, Mia. I never claimed to be anything other than an asshole. What I do with Mandy is my thing, she knows what she’s getting into. What you do is a whole different fucking thing,” I growled. Yes I was going all alpha on her, but only because I didn’t want her with anyone else when I couldn’t have her, even if that was selfish.

              “You’re nobody to me.” She raised her lip at me, her eyes glancing down to my lips. She wanted to kiss me, even if she couldn’t admit it out loud. Her body wanted me, her pussy was begging for me to take her.

              “I am,” I countered back with just as much anger. “I’m selfish because I can’t let you be with anyone else when I can’t have you as my own,” I admitted without warning. I wanted to kick myself in the ass the second the words came out, but I didn’t take them back. I couldn’t, not after seeing the look of shock on her face.

              “Well, you’ll have to get over that, because I’m doing whatever I want….” I wanted to reach down and take her lips against mine. To feel the contours of her body melt into me, and stroke the animal underneath the surface. “Whoever I want.” I felt all-consuming rage when those last words came out. I didn’t stop myself from doing what I had wanted to since the day I met her. I knew I couldn’t. It had to happen.

              I reached out placing my hands on the side of her head and pulled her into my body. I placed my lips against her soft ones, pressing with every bit of anger into her. I wanted that kiss to be memorable, passionate, and enough for her to realize I owned her.

              I wrapped my hand into her hair,and nibbled at her lips. The taste of heaven mixed with chocolate filled my mouth. Her scent surrounded me, and as soon as she moaned into my mouth, I knew I needed to end the kiss now, otherwise she would be face down on the couch ass in the air in no time. For the first time ever I did the right thing and pulled away from her, walking out of the living room and up the stairs leaving her there to think about what it was that just took place.

              I was pretty sure I made a mistake touching her. There was no way I would be able to end it now that I had finally tasted just how sweet she was.

             
“Promise to take care of your Momma when I’m gone, sweetie.” My dad made me make a lot of promises to him. The doctors kept saying there wasn’t a chance he would live through the winter, but he hung on claiming he wouldn’t go anywhere until the first flowers bloomed.

              I wanted to believe him, but I knew better. Even at the age of seventeen I knew so much more than I should. Losing my father was just one thing I would have to face. You lived, and you died. The only thing that mattered was what you did in time between all of that.

              “Promises are nothing when you’re gone, Daddy.” I pushed the tears that threatened to full from my eyes away. Once he was gone, the coldness would sink into my bones and leave my body with a permanent chill.

              I looked up into his eyes, and I could see that tears had already started to fall. “Promises are all I have left, Mia.” His voice was weak, so very weak. It pained me to make him talk at all.

              “Then I will do whatever I can to keep those promises, Daddy. I will do everything I can to help Mom.” Tears started to drip from my eyes and down onto where our hands were joined.

              “Good.” His smile was sweet and his eyes were lively… but only for a moment. I could see he had taken all his energy and put it in to those two very things. Trying his hardest to give me something to hold onto. There was nothing to hold on to when you were losing the first man you ever learned to love.

             
“Mia.” Talon’s voice sounded in my ear as my body jerked back and forth as if I was being shaken. I batted him away, blinking awake, only to realize there were big fat, wet tears on my cheeks.

              “I’m fine,” I lied, wiping the tears away with the back of my hand. It had been months since I last dreamt of my dad’s death.

              “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked. I looked up at him from the bed. He was shirtless, of course, his abs, and lick-worthy physique on display as always. That and his low riding sleep pants did nothing to hide the start of the V muscle. I forced myself to look away and noticed the grave concern that was etched into his features. I could feel his hand against my shoulder; it was gentle and warmed me where I felt I would be forever cold. I wanted to lean into his touch, but I remembered just who he was.

              “There’s nothing to talk about.” My tone was bitchier than I wanted to make it, but I didn’t care. I didn’t want to talk about it.

              “I get it.” He took a step back, his hands raised in the air. I almost wanted to apologize. Almost.

              “I just don’t want to talk about it. It’s the past, and I don’t even know why…” I trailed off. I was on the verge of tears. I needed sleep because there was no reason for me to be this emotional over something that happened years ago.

              “It’s because you miss him.” It seemed more like a confession than an answer. I didn’t really know anything about Talon’s mom. He never talked about it. Anything you ever heard was something that was sent down through the grapevine. By the time it got to you, the story had been manipulated so many times, there was just no way any part of it was still true.

              “Missing him and having a dream about him that causes me pain are two very different things, and didn’t I say I didn’t want to talk about it?” I pulled the blanket up to my chest, covering my nightshirt, and the fact that I had nothing else on but a pair of undies.

              “You don’t have to hide from me, Mia. I’m not going take from you when I can have anyone I want. Believe me when I say there is a line a mile long.” Cocky Talon was back in full force, smirk and assholier all in one.

              “I’m not hiding anything.” My cheeks grew red, giving way to my lie. How had this changed from my father to hiding from him? After the kiss we shared earlier, I wasn’t sure we should be in the same room like we were now.

              “You’re hiding a lot of things. The first being the way your dad’s death made you feel, and believe it or not I know a thing or two about death.” Talon made himself right at home by plopping down into my big brown reading chair. The moonlight shined in through the bedroom window, casting a shadow around us. It was like we were in our own personal moon-lit bubble.

              “What do you know about death?” I questioned. I wasn’t sure why I was  allowing him to stay in here, or why we were talking about this still. Maybe it was just because I was lonely and craving some human interaction.

              Talon’s long, slim fingers beat against the arm of the chair as if he was contemplating something.

              “I’m not an open person, which you know. I don’t do love, and I don’t do copious amounts of sharing because life is what you make it. When you focus too much on the shitty stuff it ruins the good in your life.” He paused, his eyes staring right into mine. I could feel the connection between us growing. I dug my fingernails into the bed sheets forcing myself to stay seated on the bed.

              “Most people know that I lost my mom, but they don’t know what it did to me or how much it changed me.” He leaned his elbows on his knees and placed his head in his hands. Anguish came off of him in waves. True emotions, not the fake, masked like ones I’d seen every day exploded from within him.

              “You don’t need to tell me anything, Talon,” I reassured him, knowing that sharing something so daunting couldn’t change things between us. I couldn’t let Talon into my heart without hurting myself. I needed to protect myself because there was no one to pick me up when shit went bad, and it always went bad.

              Everything in life had an expiration date: milk, bread, life, and love. That’s why him telling me this changed nothing. Or at least it couldn’t.

              “I do need to tell you,” he urged on, his face was hidden in the shadows. I wanted to get up from the bed and wrap my arms around him but stopped myself.

             
Don’t get attached. Don’t fall in love. Don’t give into his past.

              “Talon, I don’t want to know. I can’t know,” I confessed. I had to because I was scared to let anything happen between us. I had to fight it because if I didn’t I would end up hurt. Heartache never sat well when you still had to be around them for years afterwards.

              He ran a hand through his dark hair before pulling his face from the shadows. In his eyes I could see a thunderstorm brewing, the start of lightning and thunder on the horizon. I knew he deserved to share this story with the girl that mattered more than I did, or more than I ever could.

              “You should know though, because then you’ll get why I am the asshole I am. Why I use and abuse, and why I refuse to care.” I could feel fear in the words he spoke. I knew what I was about to do would sever everything that had already formed between us, but I couldn’t let this keep going on.

              “Get out, Talon. Leave this room and go on with your night. I don’t care to know why you hate everyone or why you want to use me. I just don’t,” I yelled, getting up from the bed and opening the bedroom door.

              My stomach flipped and nausea rose in my throat. My eyes felt heavy and my chest ached as I watched shock cover his face. Then his eyes went flat and his jaw was clenched, and I could tell there was something he wanted to say to me but knew he wouldn’t. Talon didn’t give you chances. He eyed me up from the tips of my toes to the top of my head as he got up from the chair stopping right in front of me.

              “I know you want to fuck me, so why don’t you just give in already. I thought for sure sharing something with you would get those silky panties to come right off of you.” He smiled but it was forced.

              “Never. It will never happen, Talon. Not in a million years.” My heart was beating out of my chest as I spoke the words. I could feel the heat of his body against my skin as he pushed into my chest, forcing my body against the wall. I was trapped with nowhere to go, his hard cock pushing against my thigh.

              “You feel that…that stiffness.” I couldn’t muster up even a word because I wasn’t sure I could trust myself to say no to anything he asked.

              “I’m rock hard for you. Ready to claim your pussy, and you continue to shove me away.”

              “I don’t want you or your cock,” I said without warning. He glared at me, one of his fingers reaching out to run across my bottom lip.

              “Such a sweet girl to being saying such a naughty word. It’ll be more than an amazing to watch you suck me off one of these days.” His words were turning me on, his voice like velvet as it rubbed across my throat and neck. I could smell him. I could feel him, and I’ll be damned I really fucking wanted him.

              “Go!” I ordered, forcing the words from my mouth. All I got was a smirk as he rubbed his chest across mine, causing my nipples to pucker. Wetness seeped into my panties.

              “You’re wet for me…” Talon spoke just as he pulled away from me, his body almost out the door. “I can tell even if you don’t want to confess it yet. That’s okay though, we can play this cat and mouse game as long as you want, or at least until you’re begging for your release.” Then just like that he was gone down the hall, probably relieving himself all while I was still trying to get my heart back into my chest. Talon had the power to destroy me, and I had all but given him the power to do so. I was fucking screwed and not even in the good way.