Fighting Love (Love to the Extreme) (23 page)

She dropped both of her hands and Tommy released a stuttered breath as she put some space between

them.

“Do you want to know what
I’ve
been doing all week?”

No, he didn’t think he did. In the mood she was in right now, God only knew what might come out of

that tempting mouth of hers.

“I’ve been fucking my vibrator. And guess what? It’s pissing me off. Why? Because I have a perfectly

good
real
cock right there”—she pointed to the bulge in his pants—“that promises to seriously rock my

world, but
you
won’t let me have it. I’d say that’s the definition of mean, wouldn’t you?”

He swallowed. It should be illegal for Julie to say the words “cock” and “fuck,” because watching her

lips form around those dirty words made
him
want to get dirty. Goddamn it, he should have left while he

had the chance. Or even better, should never have come inside.

He didn’t need to hear all this. Doing right by her was hard enough without hearing her say how much

she wanted him. He stepped forward, taking her arm. “Julie, you need to go to bed. You’ve had too much

to drink and have no idea what you’re saying.”

She yanked her arm away and scowled at him. “To
hell
with you. I am perfectly aware of what I’m

saying, Tommy Sparks. You left me all alone and whimpering for more. You just walked away while I had

my naked ass up in the air, begging for it. What the
hell
, Tommy?”

There was a world of hurt in that last question that punched him right in the heart. He really hadn’t

thought about how his actions might have felt to her. He’d just been thinking about doing the right thing.

Not wanting to hurt her had been the reason he’d stopped. But he’d hurt her anyway, and that killed him

inside.

So it was time to be honest.

“Julie, I love you. You are my best friend. I can’t treat you the same way I’ve treated every other

woman in my life. I won’t. Do you understand that?”

“Treat me like what? Like you want me so badly you’re almost out of control?
Every
woman wants to

make a man feel like that. Jesus, Tommy, it’s
hot
watching you get that turned on.”

He shook his head. “You don’t get it. You deserve a man who can take his time, caress you, just simply

love on you for hours and hours. I’m not that man. It’s just sex to me. There are no emotions involved. It’s

all about the physical, the pleasure. I won’t do that to you.”

She studied him for a long time. “Are you actually telling me that anything between us would only be

physical, nothing more?”

“Considering the way I’ve been with you so far, the way my baser side just takes over… Yeah, it’s

going to be physical. If I can’t slow down with you—someone who means the world to me, someone I

want
to treat special, and tried damn hard to treat special, but failed—then, yeah. I really don’t think I’m

capable of anything else. I’m just like my mom, Julie. You know how she was. I’m the same way.”

She appeared appalled. “You are
not
your mother.”

“Aren’t I? I’ve never had a relationship. Never
wanted
a relationship. I go through women the same

way she went through men. I seem to be just as incapable of feelings as she was.”

Julie’s jaw worked. “Your mother was a heartless bitch, Tommy.” He didn’t even flinch at her sharp

tone. She’d said those exact words many times in the past. “You
do
love,” she insisted. “Don’t you
ever

compare yourself to that woman again.” Eyes narrowed with unreadable emotions, she studied him again,

then nodded once. “Okay, fine. We keep it physical. And we both go into it knowing that physical is all it

is.”

Was she
insane
? Bringing sex into their relationship would mean the end of them. Of their valued

friendship.

He waved a hand back and forth. “No way. I can’t take that risk with you. You mean too much to me. I

can’t lose you. I won’t.”

“Too late. The moment you buried your head between my legs, you crossed that line. You are
way
past

the point of no return, my friend.”

He dropped his jaw.

She shrugged, no apology in her expression. “I
want
you to fuck me, any way you want to, and I’m

giving you permission.” She walked down the hallway toward her room. “If you continue to be a pain in

the ass about it, I’m going to make damn sure you get the worst case of blue balls you’ve ever experienced.

But I’ll give you some time to think about it. Since I’ve been drinking, and you have that stupid no-drunk

rule, I know tonight is off the table. But this is fair warning. Tomorrow? I’m coming for you, Tommy

Sparks.”

…

She’d scared off the jerk.

Julie didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Tommy was gone before she got up Saturday morning, and she had no idea when he’d returned that

night. At some point he must have, though, because there were dishes in the empty dishwasher when she’d

gotten up this morning, Sunday. She’d tried calling him, but he’d refused to pick up his damn phone. And

now he was nowhere to be found.

Again.

Damn wine, letting her mouth get away from her. All she had done was warn him. Big mistake. Tommy

clearly didn’t need a warning—he needed to be taken by surprise. Especially if he’d resorted to thinking he

was anything like his mother. Yeah, the bitch had gone through men a bit like Tommy went through

women. But that was where the similarities stopped. That woman hadn’t cared for anyone but her damn

self. She’d left Tommy to fend for himself on more than a few occasions. Just disappeared for days on end,

with no food in the house and no money left behind for him.

But Tommy never missed a day of school, always had a smile on his face, and, considering where he’d

come from, had risen above the odds to be a damn good man. He wouldn’t be so worried about hurting her

if he wasn’t such a good man.

But now that man was on the run.

Groaning in frustration, she flopped down on the couch. Lucy immediately jumped up on her lap and

she scratched the top of the dog’s head.

While she found Tommy’s reasoning admirable in theory—refusing to touch her because he believed

she deserved better—in practice it annoyed the piss out of her. She was a grown woman. It wasn’t his place

to decide what was best for her. That was up to her.

Though she did get his fear about losing her. Hadn’t she worried about exactly the same thing?

However, his declaration last night that the physical was all he
could
give her had made her realize that the

only thing Tommy was feeling for her was desire. Nothing more. Part of her was crushed about that. But

the rest of her had to be realistic about the situation.

And reality was, the only way she’d ever get Tommy completely out of her system was if there was

nothing left to wonder about.

She knew now what an amazing kisser he was. He was also masterful with his mouth in other ways. But

ever since he’d knelt between her legs and slid his cock over her mound, she’d been tortured by the

question of what he would be like in bed.

And until she found out the answer firsthand, Tommy Sparks would always consume her thoughts.

She refused to let that happen. Somehow, she had to get him to stop doing the disappearing act so she

could proceed with some hands-on research. Maybe she needed to take Warrior hostage. Tommy might

actually show his face then.

Speaking of the Labradoodle…

She glanced around. “Where’s Warrior?”

Normally he was with Lucy at all times. If they weren’t in the house, they were outside curled up under

the tree together. But Lucy was right here. And Warrior was nowhere to be seen. She sat up as she looked

by the front door.

His leash was missing from the hook.

Sudden panic clawed at her chest as she jumped off the couch and raced back to Tommy’s room. He

wouldn’t just pack up and leave.

He
wouldn’t
.

Would he?

She yanked open a dresser drawer. Neatly folded clothes appeared inside.
Oh, thank God
. Her heart

rate returning to normal, she straightened with her hands on her hips. Okay. If Warrior was with him, that

meant he wasn’t at the gym.

Had he taken his car? She hurried back into the living room and pulled down one of the blinds. His

rental sat by the curb.
Ah-ha
. He was out running. Which meant he’d be back soon.

She had to act fast.

After rushing to her room, she went through her workout clothes drawer, tossing things willy-nilly until

she found her yoga bra and shorts. A year ago she’d tried practicing yoga at home. It had lasted about a

month. While it had been a great muscle-lengthening workout, she had a hard time with the calm,

composed part of it and decided she preferred running and kickboxing to get rid of her tension.

However, she’d kept the outfit. The sports bra was pale yellow and bordered with a wide black hem.

The matching cotton shorts were form-fitting and stopped right at the top of her thighs. She would never go

out in public wearing shorts these short, but for home they had been perfect. And were
beyond
perfect for

this moment.

She quickly changed, dug out her mat and blocks from the back of the closet, and hurried into the

living room. She’d barely had time to get the mat spread out before she heard him run up onto the front

porch.

Angling her body toward the front door, she bent in a downward dog pose, making sure her butt was

the first thing he’d see. As the door opened, she glanced upside down behind her. Tommy had frozen right

inside the doorway, his gaze glued exactly where she’d known it would go. Pretending she was unaware he

was there, she lifted her right leg in the air, bent her knee, and caught the top of her foot in her right hand,

opening herself up for him to see.

A strangled male groan was her reward, and she fought back a smile. She held the pose for a second,

then released it. Lowering onto all fours, she went into a cat pose and arched her back. And then the grand

finale—the dog tilt. She dropped the center of her spine toward the floor at the same time she tilted her

tailbone to the ceiling. The movement made her ass jut pertly in the air.

A vehement curse rent the air, and she waited for his hands to grab her hips, his pelvis to grind behind

her. What she got was the slamming of the door.

Sitting back on her haunches, she blew the hair out of her eyes.

Well, damn
.

Okay. Round one to Tommy.

Warrior trotted over and licked her face. She ruffled the sides of his face but froze when an engine

cranked in the background, followed by squealing tires. She grimaced.

And once more he was gone.

Fine.

Desperate times called for desperate measures. If seduction wasn’t going to work, she’d just have to

outright lie.

If she could get him to lose control, keep him in a place where he didn’t think, just acted, she’d have

him. Once it was over, done was done. It couldn’t be taken back. Then maybe he’d stop being so damn

jumpy and become the man who’d held her so mesmerized as he’d rubbed himself against her and

devoured her with his mouth.

What would it be like to be around
that
man all the time?

She shivered. Definitely an intense ride. One she may never want to get off of.

Shaking her head, she pushed those thoughts aside. She’d decided that she had to be with Tommy.

Whatever else happened, she’d face it when she crossed that bridge.

She grabbed her phone off her coffee table and opened a text message.

TRUCE? PLEASE. I MISS YOU.

Twenty minutes passed before he responded, and she’d almost burned a hole in the carpet from her

pacing.

MISS YOU, TOO.

Was she doing the right thing by pushing him? She bit her lip, wavering. Yes, she was. This attraction

was here between them, and it wasn’t going away no matter how much he tried to run from it or tried to

protect her from himself. If their relationship was going to be damaged, it wasn’t going to be over him

fighting his desires for her. It would be from the consequences of it.

MOVIE TONIGHT? SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER?
she sent.

Another ten full minutes passed before she received:
SURE.

Not the most encouraging response, but his guard was still up.

Tonight, however, she was determined to break down every one of those frustrating barriers.

He didn’t stand a chance.

…

Tommy sat down on one of the benches in the locker room, lowered his elbows to his knees,

and cupped his head in his hands. He’d been here at the gym all afternoon lifting weights,

sparring, running…anything not to go back home.

Unfortunately, Mike would be locking up soon, which meant unless he wanted to head to a bar