Fighting For You (21 page)

As I tried giving in to the feelings between the two of us, but all I could think about was Danielle.  I wondered where she was, how she was doing and if she would ever forgive me for missing the big room unveiling.  That was when it hit me—what the
fuck
was I doing!?  Jazmin was nasty trash and both Alex and Abby were right—this bitch was
not
my problem anymore.

My hands clenched around her bony arms and thrust her back away from me. 

“What the
fuck
are you doing, Jazmin?  I came here because you said they were hunting you down.  I did
not
come here for this shit!”

“They are hunting me down!” she argued.

“But what has changed from the first time you told me that?”  That’s when I saw it in her eyes. I could see plain and clear that she was high as a kite from the same shit that got her into trouble in the first place.

“You smoked again!?” I damn near screamed the question.

She cowered away from my voice out of fear—
good
.  “I tried calling Bobby again!  I left here and went to a pay phone again and tried to talk to him and make a deal to get all of this to stop.”

“You are a fucking idiot!  I’m so done helping your ass!”

“No, Corey, you have to listen to me!  We talked and I told him everything that happened and we reconciled.  He said we were fine and we even smoked together.  Once I was kicked back, feeling like I was on cloud 9, he suddenly came into the basement from taking a piss and pulled out a knife.  Bobby damn near
killed
me, Corey!  He was slashing at any part of me that was close, but I managed to knee him real hard in the dick and that was the only way I got away.”

My head was shaking back and forth. “Un-fucking-believable. You couldn’t give that shit up even if it was life or death!”

“That’s not true!  I can Corey!  You don’t understand that it’s different when I’m with you.  Being near you told me again how much I fucking need you!  No one has ever cared so much about me and the only time I don’t feel alone is when I’m high.  It didn’t matter who was supplying me, all I cared about was smoking.  But, after you came here and I remembered what it was like to be near you, it hit me!  You’re the only one I can be myself with and you’re the only one that can make me a better person.”

Her dark eyes that now looked too big for her face stared back at me, as if she were trying to see my soul so she could sink her claws into it and never let go.

Too bad for her. I was over it.  “No, Jazmin. I tried and failed.  You’re a horribly selfish person and, even now, you’re doing it again!  It doesn’t matter who you take down with you—as long as
you
get out okay!”

“That’s not true, Corey!  I
love you!
” Her hands reached towards me again and I took a step back.

“Don’t touch me.  Get out of my fucking house before I call the cops.  Go deal with your own shit and leave me and my fucking family alone.  If you weren’t such a selfish, conniving little bitch, I would have been able to see her face when she saw the baby room I spent weeks trying to put together.”

It took half a second before I realized the mistake I made.  I
never
meant to mention Dani or my baby to Jazmin. Apparently, my own guilt seeped out before I could think twice.  Jazmin caught onto the single word I didn’t want her to—baby. 

“You are going to be a father?” Her eyes narrowed in a devilish way and I knew trouble was coming. “That makes sense. And explains why you’re no longer in love with me.  Well, I guess instead of running from Bobby, I have something else to keep me occupied.” 

“Jazmin,” I warned in as low and menacing of a tone that I could conjure up.

“Why do you get to fall in love again if I don’t, Corey?  It’s only fair. If I have to be left alone with the memory of you, you should be alone with the same agony of losing someone you love.”

“You’re not going to do shit to her!  If you lay a fucking finger on her, Bobby will be the least of your worries!  I
will
kill you.” I spoke in a low controlled voice. I felt a guttural growl lashing out under every word I laid between us. “I don’t care if I have to spend the rest of my life behind bars because that
is
the woman I will protect.”

A nasty smirk curled wickedly at the corner of her lips. “Good luck.” She held up her hand that held a key chain with my keys on it.  That’s when I got it.  Jazmin was here to screw me over the whole time.  She was going to do something drastic anyway. I just gave her fuel to spark her fire.

Before I could blink, my keys soared toward the kitchen sink that was less than ten feet away.  Out of instinct, I lunged for them and that was the second biggest mistake I made.  As I was chasing them down, Jazmin ran straight for the door. 

“Oh, how I have missed Serenity Cove!  I think it’s time to pay it a little visit.” 

I reached the sink but they had slipped down the drain.  I needed to dig them out, but if I could catch Jaz, I could at least find a way to tie her up here until police arrived.  

I flew down the steps faster than I ever had before but, by the time I reached the parking lot, her black Pontiac had squealed away, headed toward the one thing I promised I would always protect.  And I was stuck with no keys to chase her down.

Danielle

Darkness covered the sky meaning, which meant that it had been whole day that I had not seen or heard from Corey.  Again.  Everything that we did to repair the damage that almost broke us was now out the window.  After Alex left, I did nothing but think.  I thought of my life before Corey and all the heartbreak that came along with it.  I remembered the first time I saw him and all the ways I fell in love.  I tried to relive the last painful weeks of us together, to recall each crushing blow to my heart and his.  Then I thought of my time back home. I left everything I had in New York for everything I wanted in Serenity Cove, just so I could be with the only one I needed. 

Now, I didn’t know if he needed me anymore.  Alex’s brief answers haunted my mind and left me with a panic deep in the pit of my heart.  If we were to be together, I couldn’t wonder about him anymore. I was done worrying about all that could go wrong.  I wanted Corey in my life and I wanted us to make it.  But I needed him to want it all, too.

For a couple hours, I sat in little Bean’s room, rocking back and forth in that chair I wanted so badly.  The one Corey made sure I had. I sat there, staring at all the furniture that I obsessed over, but didn’t even circle because it was too expensive.  He loved me and he loved us, but, in the pit of my stomach, I wondered if it was ever going to be enough.  Small town bar life with a child holding you here - did he want the whole picture that I now wanted? 

There was only one way that I would find out.

I rose from the chair and went to my front steps.  The air now was warmer with a slight chill in the breeze as Spring was officially upon us.  For hours, I sat there in jeans, a T-shirt and a little blanket from the back of my couch to cover my shoulders.  I knew Corey would come here whenever he was done with
her,
but I didn’t know when that would be since—big surprise!—his phone was off. 

I sat there and watched dusk fad into night and while the stars woke up for the night to guide and dazzle those that needed a little piece of hope.  That was what I needed—hope.  My neck was beginning to hurt while I stared up at the sky, but there was only one thing that would pull me away from the inspiration above me.  Slowly, the stars disappeared as storm clouds rolled into place, but that didn’t stop me.  I focused on the way the cotton-like cloud moved, formed and grew.  In an instant, the clear spring air was filled with a sudden downfall of rain. 

I watched the drops fall from the sky; I had never before ever seen anything so magical.  I was taken with the way it held me in its trance, but also by the way it freed me.  The second the rain reached me, I had clarity.  It was as if this was a cleanse from all confusion, heartache and longing that I suffered from.  The more I breathed in the rain and felt it wash away my past, the more powerful the moment became. 

I dropped my now soaking wet blanket and just stared.  I was lost in the sensation but, finally, I was found.  My arms opened to the natural phenomenon occurring around and within me.  For the first time, I took in a breath and
felt
it - the skin I was in didn’t seem to be quite as scary since I knew this was right where I belonged.

It was in the middle of this blissful, inspiring moment that the sound of approaching tires disturbed the silence surrounding me.  Next, I saw the headlights turn into my driveway and close the distance between us.  I couldn’t help but jump a little at the speed of the car approached.  Most of the time, Corey pulled in nice and slow, like a man coming home after a day’s work and couldn’t wait to see his family.  The car stopped but the headlights stayed on as the door opened.  Panic was growing inside of me until I heard Corey’s voice as he stepped onto the concrete road.

“What the hell are you doing outside, Danielle!?  Are you trying to get yourself sick?” Even though he was scolding me and I had no idea what he had been doing, I couldn’t hide the smile when I saw him.

“I was waiting for you,” I answered, as I walked toward him.

He shrugged out of the sweatshirt he was wearing and slid it over my head, leaving my arms to find their own way through the sleeves.

“Let’s go inside before you catch pneumonia.” 
No!
  I couldn’t.  At least not yet!  This was where I had my epiphany! I couldn’t go inside and lose my way now that I had finally found it. 

“Not yet!  I have to tell you something.”

He grabbed my arm and began pulling me towards the door, but I shook free. “Let’s talk in the house, baby.”

“No!  Corey, I’m not going anywhere until you listen to me.”

His face looked panicked as his eyes darted from the falling rain, to the house and back to his waiting car.

He shook his head and grabbed hold of my arms and brought my face close to his. “Damn it, Danielle! Please, come inside with me.”

My hands pressed against his chest as I shook my head furiously back and forth.  Strands of my soaking wet hair whipped my face but I didn’t care.

“No!  Here!  I love you, Corey.” The words weren’t new to hear, but the confession was one that shook me to my core.  My heart leapt from my chest and the butterflies in my stomach fluttered a beautiful dance of joy.

“I love you too, Dani,” Corey rushed out.

“I’ve finally realized that the rest of it doesn’t matter.  You’re hiding things from me and I know that there is another woman that you’re helping.  It’s driving me crazy, Corey.  Today it nearly broke me to come here and realize the moment I needed you—you were with her.  So, I’m here to tell you this -  whatever is wrong with your past, I’m going to go through it with you.  Me and little Bean are your future, Corey
, and
together
we will survive it all!  Just let me in and stop hiding things from me, Corey. And … .marry me!” 

The words slipped out. It was a thought in my mind, but this wasn’t in the plan for the way I wanted it to go.  Now that it was out in the open, there was no way I was taking it back.  The words sounded like a symphony leaving my mouth and my heart was pounding, waiting for his response.

Corey’s eyes shot up with shock at my words. “What?” I couldn’t help but giggle, as I curled my fingers into his shirt.

“Marry me, Corey.  Let’s fight this together.  Whatever’s going on—I want to do it all with you.  Let’s make this right, baby!  Marry me, Corey Preston!” 

I stared up at my destiny and felt pure ecstasy!  That man was my drug and I was going to fight like hell to keep that feeling surging forever.

When I finally looked into his face, I expected to see the same heavenly emotions behind those blue eyes that I was obsessed with.  My heart stopped.  Staring back at me was my answer and it was the one people popping the question dreaded receiving.  I saw nothing but soul shattering agony as he furrowed his brows at me, never releasing my arms.  Something in my gut said to accept it, walk back inside right now, and go to bed.  Pretend this moment never happened. But I couldn’t.  I was growing hysterical and there was nothing that could stop that!

“Corey!  Answer me!  Marry me, Corey! Please! Tell me you’ll marry me!”

Confliction over something showed in his expression, but I just couldn’t stop.  This was
my
Corey, the same one that promised to be with me forever.  The same one that loved me more than everyone I’ve ever known—combined!  He couldn’t be turning me away! Please, Lord, don’t let him leave! 

I wished for inspiration from the stars that were covered by a blanket of darkness.

“Say something!” I pleaded with him.

“Danielle, I love you. You know I do!”  My teeth bit down hard on my lip to keep the trembling steady while I waited
for him to finish.  “But, Dani …” There was no reason given that made me ready to let go of what we had.

“But what Corey?  I thought you wanted more? You said you wanted this family!”

“I do!” he said. Even without him saying it the word, a large
but
hung in the air between us.

“So what is stopping you from saying yes?!” I pressed on.

“It’s just not the … right time.” He struggled to get anything out, but I took hold of every single word, pause and hesitation and committed it to memory.

“How could it not be the right time? Are you serious?! We’re having a baby together!  You asked if we should move into our own place!  Am I seriously reading the signals between us that poorly??”

“No, of course you’re not!” I pulled him closer to me and locked my eyes with his so he would no longer be able to avoid what was staring him in the face.

“Then answer my question, Corey!  Will you marry me!?”

His Adam’s apple bobbed as fresh tears sprung from his eyes, mixing with the pouring rain. “I can’t.”

My knees shook, and my entire being shattered as I watched my life slip away from me.  I slowly released my fingers from his shirt as I tried to back away, but Corey didn’t let go.

“Why?” I cried out.

“I love you, Dani. So
fucking
much.”

“So, why isn’t this the time for us?  Is it someone else?  Is it because of that girl you were with?”

He looked to the heavens for an answer.  “It’s not what you think but, yes.  It’s just not …safe.”

My eyes bugged out as I yanked my arms free from his firm grasp.  “Why are you doing this?  Do you understand what you’re choosing right now!?”

Corey’s lips parted, an answer brewing underneath, but I held my hand up to stop him.

“You’re choosing
her
over
us!
  Over me and your child! You want her more than you want this family, Corey!” I let my voice call out into the atmosphere.  These words and promises needed to be heard in order for it to ever be viewed as a wholehearted truth.

“I’m not choosing her, Dani!”

“But you’re not choosing us!” I cried back.

He shook his head, but reached his hands out to me.  I jumped back a step and fought the overpowering urge to crumble to the ground.  “Don’t touch me!  If you can’t agree to marry me, then I don’t know why we’re even together!”

“No, Baby! Don’t do this!  I can explain!”  Corey was now the one with a panicked voice laced with the hysterics that I had been feeling all along.

“You can’t explain, Corey!  I’ve been begging you to, but you’ve had no reason other than that woman that you keep running off to!”  Once again he reached for me but, no matter how much my body wanted to melt against his, I couldn’t.  There was no way we could wake up tomorrow and pretend this moment
didn’t happen—I wouldn’t want to.  Every excruciating moment had to be felt and it had to be remembered so I knew to
never
to be this foolish ever again!

“Just listen to me!” he yelled out and I backed away even further.  There was a little more than five feet between us but, quite honestly, there could have been an entire ocean and it would have felt the same. 

“We’re through,” I said with as much conviction as I felt. 

Corey started to say something, but stopped.  He shifted his foot to approach me but replaced it on the ground in front of him.  There were many things left unsaid, but I no longer believed it mattered to say any of them.  It was Corey that had changed. The man I loved,
my
Corey, would never have hesitated and wouldn’t have missed anything to do with his unborn child.  Quite frankly, if this was any indication of the person Corey had once been, I didn’t know if I’d want a future with him.

I shed the sopping wet sweatshirt from my body and tossed it onto the ground in front of him. 

“Goodbye, Corey.”  I turned to walk away and when I reached the steps, Corey cried out my name.  When I turned around, I saw that he hadn’t moved an inch.

“Don’t do this, Danielle.” His voice was broken and filled with every ounce of anguish that engulfed me.

I shook my head and prayed for the strength to say what I needed to. “No, Corey. You did this.”

There seemed to be a struggle raging inside him and I didn’t know what to make of it.  I saw that need to race out to me and stop this madness, but his feet never once let the cement.  He wanted to come to me but he needed to leave -
for her
.

I went inside, stripped off all my clothes and dressed in something warm to stop the bone chilling shivers that I couldn’t shake.  Just before I was about to wrap myself into the comforter and fall asleep until this horrible nightmare was over, I stopped at my bedroom window.  My eyes peered outside and just about fell down with shock.  Corey’s jeep was in the exact same place, as was Corey, only this time he was no longer standing.  He was crouched down, holding onto the sweatshirt I threw at him, and, even from my vantage point, I could see the way his cries racked him.  His body shook and my heart ached, but this was the way things had to be.  No matter how deeply I wished for the future, it wouldn’t change anything. 

Corey was my destiny. But no longer was being together as one was our fate.

*~*~*~*~*

Corey

By the time I finally peeled myself from the hard, cold ground, I almost wished I would have died right there -  hypothermia, a bolt of lightning, a broken heart. Hell, I’d take any tragic death just as long as it meant I didn’t have to leave.  The woman of my fucking dreams asked me to marry her and everything inside of me screamed ‘
yes!’ …
except that one little fucking part.  In the back of my mind, I was reminded that distance from the people I needed to keep safe was exactly what had to happen.  It had to be that way, at least until this drama with Jazmin was over … and hoped that it wouldn’t be too late.