Fighting For Irish (A Fighting for Love Novel) (Entangled Brazen) (12 page)

“This is great, Irish, thank you,” she said. “Anything else?”

He hesitated, weighing the options of making the suggestion or not. “You wanna know what to do if someone pins you from behind?”

Aiden swore he saw the moment her heart skipped, but she bounced back just as quickly, blinking hard a few times as though trying to clear the image of that night in her mind’s eye.

“Yes,” she said, her voice breaking slightly. Clearing her throat, she tried again. “Yes, I do.”

“Are you sure? There’s no pressure. We can do it some other time if you want.”

She shook her head. “No, I’d like to try it now.”

“All right. Come over here, then.”

Aiden crossed to the sidewall and waited for her to gather herself and do the same. Placing his hands on her upper arms, he gently moved her in front of him. Her body tensed and her chest rose and fell with shallow breaths.

“We’re going to take this nice and slow, kitten. You won’t retain anything I teach you until you learn to trust me and shake the panic reaction. To start, I’m going to put my hands right here.” He pressed them to the wall in front of her face. “Right where you can see them, okay?” She nodded. At least she wasn’t so far into her own fears that she couldn’t still hear him. “Good. Now, when you’re ready for me to do more, let me know.”

…

Kat focused on his strong hands wrapped in yards of black fabric and his long fingers marked black from grease stains and tattoo ink. Irish directed her to take slow, even breaths—in through her nose, out through her mouth. After a couple of minutes, she finally managed to regulate them, though she didn’t think it had anything to do with the deep breathing. It was—

“Atta girl, you’re doing fine. Nice and easy.”

—that. His voice. Low and raspy and right next to her ear. She’d bet he could melt butter using only the sound of his voice. The vibrations soaked into her skin and traveled in her blood stream to circulate through her body. A warm tingling bloomed deep in her center. She’d never felt anything like it before, but it felt so good and she wanted more. She wanted more of
him
.

“Okay,” she said with a slight quiver. “You can do more.”
Please do more.

“It’s important you realize the limited motion you’d have if this were real, so I’m gonna step into you close. But I’m leaving my hands where they are for now.”

She nodded for fear her voice wouldn’t come out right, if at all. He stepped closer, planting his feet just behind and outside of hers. Little by little their bodies connected. First his chest to her shoulder blades, then the hard planes of his abs molded against her back. Finally he pressed his hips forward, joining them in a most intimate way that should have unnerved her but only made the tingling stronger and spread lower.

As she stood pinned between the wall and Irish’s body, the fear that had gripped her in the beginning changed to something else entirely: the excited fluttering feelings she had no idea how to describe or what to do about them. Her knowledge of this was exactly zilch. Though she was the furthest thing from a virgin, she had no past experiences—except from the night before—of this to go on.

Wanting
a man’s touch was new to her. The tingling, the butterflies, and the wetness between her thighs, all new.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” she whispered. “I’m okay.”

Deciding it couldn’t hurt to listen to her body’s instincts, she shut the door to her brain, and all the dark memories she wished she could purge, and let herself simply…feel.

Closing her eyes, Kat leaned her head back until it settled into the space between his shoulder and neck. His cheek met her temple, then slid lower to brace against her jawline. The warmth of his breath moistened the skin on her neck, and she felt her nipples draw tight.

He groaned low in his chest. “How okay?”

“Unbelievably okay,” she answered on an exhale.

Her back arched, clearly needing something, though she didn’t know what. But then Irish leaned them back just enough to make space for his hands, which molded to her breasts, showing her that
he
knew exactly what she needed. She sucked in a breath at the glorious friction his palms created as they caressed and kneaded the sensitive mounds. Every touch and every pinch zinged straight to her center, building the heat until she literally pulsed with it. A keening moan filled the air, and it took several moments for Kat to realize it had come from her.

She reached back and pulled on the backs of his thighs to bring him even closer. His mouth moved to her ear to lick the shell, nibble her lobe, then suck the sting away.

“How about now? Still okay?” His voice was barely more than a growl against her neck before his lips trailed openmouthed kisses along its length.

He was worried she’d freak out again, that he’d do something to trip her defenses. “Irish, I’m good. As long as we keep things slow, I’ll be fine.”

“Believe me, I don’t ever plan on rushing anything with you again, sweetheart.”

The way he rasped
sweethaht
pretty much fried all her brain functions. The butterflies kicked things up a notch as his mouth began the long trip back up the side of her throat and his hands slid down her stomach. As his moved lower, hers went up to reach behind and dig her nails into the back of his neck and shoulder.
Blissed-out
didn’t even begin to describe Kat at that moment…

Until his hands gripped her hips to pull her against him.

Pain pressed in and blazed a trail right through her center, incinerating the butterflies and tingles and replacing them with a split-second montage of her dark memories. Memories of when there was no pleasure. Only pain.

Kat jerked, hissed in a breath through her teeth, and released Irish to close in on herself as much as possible between him and the wall. As usual, there was no easy escape.

Except that almost just as fast as she’d regressed, Irish had stepped to her side, giving her the opportunity to do just that. But she didn’t want to leave him. She didn’t even mean to freak out and wished she could rewind time and brace herself to avoid the reaction. Unfortunately, she still hadn’t figured out how to time travel to prevent things she didn’t want. She’d been wishing for that her entire life.

“Kat, I’m sorry, I did it again—”

“No, you didn’t.” The muscles in his jaw ticked and he looked away as though disgusted with himself. Placing a hand on his stubbled cheek, she brought his eyes back to hers. The last thing she wanted was for him to take blame for something others had caused. “Irish, you didn’t, I promise. I’m just a little tender on my hips right now from Mullineaux the other night, that’s all.”

Within seconds he grew in mass and size. His muscles grew bigger, his frame inches taller, and as he looked down at her, shadows fell over his face, making the angles sharper. Kat’s stomach dropped and the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end.

His words scratched the silence like diamonds on glass. “Did that bastard leave marks on you?”

“No, I’m fine,” she said with what she hoped was a convincing smile.

“Like hell you are.” Kneeling in front of her, he tucked his fingers into the waist of her yoga pants. She instinctively grabbed his wrists, but she couldn’t form the words to protest when he gazed up at her with those sapphire eyes brimming with concern…for her. “Let me see, kitten. Please.”

It was the please that did it. That simple word said in his butter-melting voice undid her. If he ever figured out the sort of power he could wield with that one word, she’d be in trouble.

She released him and forced her hands to her sides as he gently pulled the waistband down just enough to expose the finger marks in front of her hip bones. His breath hissed out from a clenched jaw, then he laid his forehead on her belly. It was too quiet to tell, but she thought she could hear him counting to himself. At a loss of what to do, Kat wove her fingers into the back of his hair, cradling him to her and pretending she had the right to want him for her own.

After several minutes, he got up without saying a word and crossed the gym to rifle around in a metal cabinet. He returned with a small jar and once again knelt in front of her.

“This will help with the bruising. I’ll be as careful as I can, but it might hurt a little as I put it on.”

She nodded her assent and held still while he spread the balm where the purple marred her pale skin. When he finished, he slowly lifted her stretchy pants out and over the bruised areas before letting them shrink back to her waist.

Rising, he said, “Why don’t you go back in the house? I’ll be up in a little bit.”

“Okay. You want me to heat up those eggs Xander made you?”

He gave her a strained smile. “That’d be great. I’m starved.”

He might be talking food, but the look in his eyes revealed his thoughts were much darker. And it worried her. “Irish?”

He placed a tender kiss on her forehead. “Go on up to the house, sweetheart.”
Damn him, using that accented endearment against her.
“Please.”

Double damn.
There was no use fighting him. Either he’d already discovered the secrets to manipulating her, or the affection and respect came naturally to him. Either way she was screwed for as long as he kept it up. Until then, she’d be waiting for the other shoe to drop, because no way in hell he’d stay like that for long. Eventually he’d lose the polite affection and start barking out orders instead of bothering to ask, much less use the word “please.”

Just like every other man she’d known. And that might just kill a part of her she didn’t think she could afford to lose.

“Hey, no frowns,” he said, tilting her head up. “No being sad or scared. Not here.”

She drew up the corners of her mouth. “I’m not.”

His exaggerated exhale clearly said,
What am I going to do with you?
Nessie had done the same thing with her countless times when they were young. “And I want you to stop lying. There’s no reason to lie to me. I’m never gonna judge, blame, or think less of you as long as you’re honest with me. Deal?”

“Honesty for honesty?”

He hesitated for half a second, but then answered. “Honesty for honesty. Now go on. I’ll be up soon.”

Though his tone sounded relaxed, the tightness in his jaw claimed otherwise. Kat opened her mouth to question him, but the darkness had returned to his eyes and the words got stuck in her throat. She swallowed them back and turned to leave. When she reached the door, she peered over her shoulder one last time. He stood tall with his legs braced apart, his upper body marked with tattoos and sweat, his wrapped hands fisted at his sides. A modern-day warrior if she’d ever seen one. He took her breath away, but somehow she managed one more request.

“Hurry in, okay?”

Irish offered a stiff nod, and she let herself out of the makeshift gym, sliding the door closed behind her. She quickly made her way up to the house, but then stopped on the steps when she heard muted thumping and growling filtering through the wooden slats of the barn. The noises brought up the images of Irish beating on that hanging bag again, and from the sound of things, there wouldn’t be much left of it when he was through.

Chapter Eleven

Late that night, Aiden and Kat pulled into the small parking space she had behind her apartment. He’d taken her to her car still at Lou’s and then followed her home. Cutting his engine, he swung off the bike and waited for her to get out of the car. She’d tried convincing him he didn’t need to see her home, but he wouldn’t hear any of it. It was bad enough he couldn’t give her a good enough reason to stay at his place without raising suspicion. He wasn’t taking any chances he didn’t have to with her safety.

When he’d seen Mullineaux’s marks on her earlier, he’d almost lost it. After she’d gone back to the house, he’d had to count to more than a hundred before he trusted himself to not get on his bike and hunt the prick down like the cur he was. Aiden’s mom had raised him to know that a man’s place was to protect and cherish the women in his life. He couldn’t fathom consciously choosing to harm a woman in any way. It was not only despicable, but inexcusable.

Unfortunately, Aiden’s actions, though not a conscious choice, had results that were just as devastating. When he reacted to situations without thinking, those around him got hurt.

Or worse.

And there was that harsh reminder of why he couldn’t let himself get too close to Kat. He’d never forgive himself if anything happened to her while he was trying to protect her. He couldn’t handle another situation like the one with Janey. Not again.
Not fucking ever.

The sobriety and complete lack of fighting had helped keep him in check the last several years, but the biggest reason he hadn’t had a meltdown was because he held people at arm’s length. If he didn’t care about them, he wouldn’t snap. Simple as that.

The night before, he’d convinced himself that he could pretend for one night with Kat. Allow himself to believe that none of that stuff in the past existed. But as soon as he glimpsed the skeletons of
her
past, putting his aside was no longer an option. Comforting her was all that mattered.

When they saw each other that morning, it was obvious the sexual tension hadn’t dissipated overnight. Still, he hadn’t meant to act on it. Had even warned himself off several times during their self-defense lessons when it would have been so easy to pull her in and kiss her until neither of them could breathe. As long as he’d focused on the lessons—and the reason she needed them—he’d been strong enough to keep things platonic.

But he’d proved too weak when her body signals went from learning to arousal as he stood pressed against her from behind. And he’d tapped out the moment she leaned her head back, inviting him to sample the smooth length of her throat, to feel her pulse jump beneath his lips. In seconds he’d been drunk on the taste of her and lost in the moment.

Until he’d accidentally hurt her.

The last thing Aiden wanted was for Kat to be harmed, mentally or physically, by anybody, least of all him. However, a small part of him had been thankful for the bruises that jerked him back to reality before he took her against the barn wall like a fucking animal. If the night before was anything to go on, that for sure would have set her off. She didn’t deserve that type of careless treatment. He’d never been the romantic type, but something about Kat inspired him to want to care for her, be tender with her.
Make love to her.

Make love. He’d never used that term before, much less done anything close to it. There’d been women he cared about before, but he’d been careful not to throw the L-word around. Now, two days in with this girl and he already had the word in his head, regardless of why.

“You don’t have to come up, Irish.”

“It’s no trouble,” he said. “Besides, if I didn’t make sure you got in safely, my mother would box my ears.”

A grin hitched up the corner of her mouth. “Your mother isn’t here.”

“You don’t know my mother. She has a sixth sense for when her children aren’t acting the way she raised us. I’d get a phone call, believe me. Now scoot.”

Chuckling, she walked ahead of him toward the door in the alley that led to the inside stairs. Aiden’s senses were on high alert, making sure nothing and no one was lurking in the shadows with bad intentions. She unlocked the door and swung it open, but just as they were stepping through, he heard something so quiet he couldn’t be sure it wasn’t his imagination.

“Wait a minute.”

“What—”

“Shh,” he said, holding up two fingers and turning his head toward where he thought the sound had come from. Several long moments went by with nothing. He was about to give up when he heard it again, more distinctly this time: a tiny mewl coming from a dark corner.

Aiden crossed the alley and reached down to pick up the scrawny gray tiger kitten. He only got it a few inches off the ground when he was pulled up short. The kitten hissed and clawed at his arm until he set him back down.

Using the light from his phone, he took a better look. Seemed the frayed ends of the rug the kitten had been laying on had tangled around his back leg. Probably hurt like a bitch, or might even be tight enough to cut off circulation.

Aiden stepped over to his bike and retrieved the pocketknife from under the seat. A single slice and he had the kitten free. He squirmed and hissed some more, but settled down as soon as Aiden cradled him against his chest.

Kat poked her head around from behind him. “Awww. Is it okay?”

“He’s purring now, but he’s got some threads wrapped around his leg.”

“Oh, you poor little thing,” she crooned, scratching him under the jaw and between the ears. “Do you think his mom left him because he was caught?”

“Yeah, most likely.”

“Well, let’s get him upstairs,” she said, leading the way again. “We can get a better look at him up there.”

“There’s gotta be a Humane Society around here somewhere. I’ll take him there tomorrow.”

Kat stopped short. “What? No! I’m keeping him.”

Aiden had a hard time fighting a smile. She reminded him of Mary Catherine again, minus the foot stomp and pouting lip. Something told him if he argued with her, he’d see those, too. “Okay, then.” He bent down and placated her with a kiss on the forehead. “A kitten for my kitten.”

She scrunched up her nose. “That’s a little cheesy, even for you, big boy.”

“
Big
boy,” he said as they walked up to her apartment. “That a fat joke?”

The tinkling sound of her laughter echoed in the narrow stairwell. “That comment Xander made this morning really bothered you, didn’t it?”

“What, are you kidding? That chucklehead couldn’t bother me if he tried.”

Unlocking her door and letting them in, she said, “If you say so.”

Aiden looked around discreetly, trying to determine if anything had been disturbed since the night before. He wasn’t even sure how the creeps had gotten in, but it didn’t appear as though they’d returned. Kat bent down and shoved a towel under the door. “What’s that for?”

“The door has a huge gap under it. If I don’t stuff it with a towel, the A/C ends up cooling the stairwell.” Crossing the small room, she flipped the dial on the window unit, bringing it to life with a rattle and hum.

He hated that she’d been living in this dump for so long. He tried to find solace in the fact that in a couple of weeks, he could give her enough money to get a decent place wherever she decided to head after all this was over. But the idea of her being anywhere other than with him wasn’t very conducive for solace-finding.

Mentally swearing at himself for the momentary departure from reality, he turned his focus on the kitten. “I’ll see what I can do about getting the rest of this string off.”

He sat on the futon while she riffled through her dresser. The kitten hunkered down in his lap, apparently deciding that was the safest place to be in this strange environment.

“Poor thing is probably starving and I don’t— Oh! I think I have some tuna.”

While she went hunting for that, Aiden used his knife and cut through the remaining strands as gently as he could. The kitten made some low growls, warning his rescuer that he wasn’t completely onboard with the plan. But as soon as he was free, the little thing started to purr again.

“There,” he whispered to him. “You’ll be good as new soon, and then you get to spend the rest of your days in that pretty girl’s lap.” He scratched between his ears and the kitten closed his eyes and leaned into it. “Lucky bastard.”

“Okay,” Kat said, hurrying to him. “I put some tuna on a plate and a bowl of water in the corner. Then I bunched my Snuggie up on the floor, thinking he might like that to sleep on. I don’t know, though, what do you think?”

He smiled as he stood with the kitten. “I think that sounds good. Come on, we’ll see if he’s hungry.” They took him to the food and barely set him down before his nose was in the plate. “I guess that answers that question.”

She laughed and sat on the floor facing the kitten, her right shoulder and head leaning against the wall. He did the same on the other side and propped his arm up on a bent knee. With her focus on the little chow-hound, he took advantage of the rare opportunity to simply watch her.

She’d pulled her hair to the left side and braided it that morning. The thick rope of hair lay against her neck with the ends reaching the top swell of her left breast. Since she was looking down, her auburn lashes hid most of her light blue eyes from his gaze, but he knew they’d be alight with a stolen moment of happiness in watching something thrive under her care. There was a peacefulness in the slight smile on her face and the relaxed set of her shoulders.

Then something broke the spell. Her brows knitted together and she frowned. “I still can’t believe it’s over so easily.” She raised her eyes to his. “What did you say to them to make them back off?”

Shit. He fought the urge to look away from her. “What difference does it make what was said or done? I told you I’d take care of it and I did. You’re no longer responsible for getting them Sicoli’s money.”

Kat lifted her head from the wall and stared him down. “Irish, tell me you didn’t pay them off with your own money.”

“It’s been a long time since I’ve had twenty grand just lyin’ around.”

Kat’s eyebrows rose. “Did you
used to
have that much money lying around?”

He shrugged and said, “I did all right for myself when I was fighting. You can make a lot of money if you get good fights that people want to see, and you get bonus purses for things like fight of the night, submission of the night, etcetera. But that was a long time ago.”

Not nearly long enough to burn through the kind of money he’d had in his bank account from fighting, and yet in less than a week after Janey’s death, he’d left himself with only a fraction of what he’d had. The rest he’d anonymously split up between Janey’s mother and a donation to the hospital for a new drug outreach program in her name.

But barely existing didn’t cost much. All he needed was food, water, and a roof over his head. Kind of like the fur ball there.

Aiden watched the kitten lick his chops from the first meal he’d had in who knew how long. Kat moved the tiny animal to the bowl of water and made light splashes with her finger to get his attention. After he’d lapped his fill, she placed him lovingly on the blanket. He kneaded it until it suited him, then he curled up and promptly fell asleep.
Funny
, Aiden thought. Tiger stripes on leopard print.

“Have you thought of a name yet?” He kept his voice soft. Probably so he wouldn’t disturb the fur ball’s dreams. Maybe so he wouldn’t disturb the moment with a kitten of a more feminine sort.

She looked thoughtful for a minute then whispered, “What’s your middle name?”

“I’m not gonna tell you my middle name. No guy
ever
tells a girl his middle name.”

“Why not?”

“’Cause they use it against us when they’re mad, that’s why not.” Kat whisper-laughed, if there was such a thing, behind her hand. Seeing the light in her eyes egged him on. “We could be watching the game with our pals and they’ll holler across the house, ‘Anthony Michael Hall, you’re in a lotta fucking trouble!’”

Still laughing, she asked, “Did you just use the dorky guy’s name from
Sixteen Candles
?”

Aiden couldn’t remember the last time he’d smiled so big, much less laughed. But it turned out she was more than a little infectious. “He was in a lot more movies than that, but yeah. He was the first guy I could think of with three names.”

“Okay, then I’ll tell you my middle name and we’ll have equal advantage.”

He’d love to know her middle name. He’d love to know everything about her. “All right, but you first.”

“Terese,” she said. “It’s a family name. My mother’s aunt, I think. Okay, now spill it.”

He let out a resigned breath. “Murphy. Family name on my father’s side. Happy now?”

Her bright smile said she was, and damn if he didn’t want to make sure she stayed that way every day of her life. She kissed the pads of her fingers and lightly placed them on the kitten’s head. “Sweet dreams, Murphy.”

Ah, hell, the woman was killing him for sure. Rising from the floor, he helped her up and crossed toward the door so he wouldn’t have to whisper anymore. He cleared his throat and stuck his hands in his pockets so he wouldn’t reach out for her.

“I should go. Let you get some sleep.” He opened the apartment door and added, “Make sure you lock up behind me.”

“Irish?”

“Yeah?”

Standing in the middle of the room in that damn uniform again—if he had his way he’d burn that fucking thing and never let her wear anything other than colorful sundresses—she twisted her fingers together and chewed on her lip for a few seconds. Maybe she was nervous about her safety. The only reason he wasn’t was because he knew the assholes were right across the street and they knew she was in her apartment thanks to the metal chunk in her arm. They had no reason to bother her as long as they knew where she was and he held up his end of the bargain.

“You’ll be safe, I promise. Those guys aren’t coming anywhere near you ever again.”
Or I’ll personally tear out their insides.