Fighting for Infinity (13 page)

HIGHER EXISTING

Nathaniel

I stood on our cliffs—the place where Maryah and I shared our first kiss of this lifetime, where we had so many meaningful conversations, where I had tried to teach her how to sensperience, where I wished she were standing beside me, her hand in mine.

I reminisced about the first time we stood atop these same red rocks in our last life. Mary had said Sedona was a place of positive energy, that settling here would make her (and the rest of our kindrily) stronger mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

We had hiked to the top just in time to see our first breathtaking sunset over Sedona. Construction on our home began the next week, delayed for so long because Mary couldn’t decide if she wanted the front door to face the northeast or south. She hadn’t been able to determine for certain which would be more harmonious. It was too important to guess, Mary had said. Guessing left too much to chance. She never left anything to chance.

She
walked our property every day—every sunrise and every sunset. Many nights we slept under the stars in a sleeping bag surrounded by construction materials and Mary’s notebook filled with ever-changing ideas and sketches of what must be added to our new home.

I never fought her on one idea or detail. After spending hundreds of years with her, I knew arguing about anything from tile color to the need for an underground weapon room was pointless. She would get whatever she envisioned, because nothing was more important to me than seeing her
happy.

Eightball snorted at my feet. I glanced down at him, and he turned his big head inquisitively, probably curious about my sudden smile. “Yes, old boy. I’m daydreaming about your mother.”

He head-butted my shin as I squatted down to rub his ears. My phone rang, and I fumbled to pull it from my back pocket. When I saw
Home
on the screen, I traversed Eightball back to the house with me.

I appeared in the kitchen, facing Louise as she hung up the phone.

“There they are,” Maryah said from behind me. “My two favorite boys.”

It was a close race for which of us reached Mar
yah first.

∞

After Maryah finished reporting Dedrick’s recent whereabouts and fielded questions from a few members, the meeting fell silent as we processed it all.

I exchanged concerned glances with Edgar, Helen, and Louise.

Louise pushed her glasses to the top of her head and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Let’s not beat around the bush. Dedrick is completing the 108 laps around Mount Meru with hopes of obtaining otherworldly powers and enlightenment.”

“Meru doesn’t physically exist in our plane of being,” Helen pointed out.

“True,” Louise agreed, “but he’s circling a real mountain somewhere, perhaps Mount Kailash, with the belief that it is Mount Meru. Belief can be a powerful thing.”

“If we could confirm that’s where he was,” I said, “we could be there when he completes his final lap. Maryah said he was alone. We could overpower him, make him take us to wherever he’s keeping Rina. We could figure out how to free everyone he has mind-controlled.”

“Final lap?” Maryah asked me. “I’m lost. What is Mount Meru?”

I motioned to Edgar. “Edgar is better at explaining such matters.”

Edgar leaned forward and summarized the legends. “Meru is claimed by some to be the center of the universe, the energy axis of the cosmos, a sacred mountain, if you will, that connects our plane of existence with others. It descends so deep that it reaches the oceans of other realms, and it extends so high that even the stars must look up to see its peak. Its foothills in hell, its summit in the heavens: it serves as the bridge to an existence of perfection and transcendence.”

“Is it real?” Maryah looked stunned and shaken as if she’d been hit by a spiritual truck. “Could Dedrick be obtaining some kind of power from the mountain?”

“Honestly.” Louise exchanged a confirming look with Edgar and Helen. “We don’t know. This will require more research.”

“What about the glowing rock?” Maryah asked.

“From what you described, and what we know about it, it sounds like Dedrick has the Firestone.”

“Fires
tone,” Maryah repeated. She stared at the middle of the table. I could almost see how hard she was thinking. “There are other stones, aren’t there? Earth, Air, and Water.”

“Did you remem
ber that?” Helen asked.

“I’m not sure.” Maryah rubbed the back of her neck, a sign that she was either tired or a headache was starting. “I’m learning that any mention of one element usually means the others are connected.”

“
Connected
being the key word,” Edgar said. “An ancient story was passed down that the element stones, while each extremely powerful on its own, could be used together as a key of sorts. Each stone would be placed on its designated face of the mountain: north, south, east and west. Four elements, four directions. Together they open a doorway to Meru.”

I studied Maryah, watching for a hint of recognition. Hoping this conversation might be the metaphysical slap in the face she needed to wake up and remember. “Th
ere’s also legend of an Aetherstone,” I added, trying to fuel the fire. “A starstone.”

Maryah blinked several times. Her head tilted. She closed her eyes for a moment, and I held my breath, praying, pleading,
please remember
.

“Can the Fires
tone be used to control minds?” she asked.

No big epiphany. Mention of a
starstone hadn’t had any effect. But at least she was asking questions. She was trying, and so would I.

Gregory elaborated on Maryah’s question. “Or
can it stop bodies from aging?”

“I don’t know,” Louise s
aid. “But you can bet I’ll be searching near and far for an answer. Louise pushed back her chair. “We’ll update those who aren’t here and find out as much as we can.” She made her way to us and placed her hand on Maryah’s shoulder. “You, my dear, must keep watching Dedrick. Listen for mention of a mountain name or location, and find out if he has any of the other stones.”

Maryah’s eyes widened. “You think he might have more?”

“I wouldn’t put it past him.”

Everyone dispersed from the meeting except for Maryah and me.

“How long before you have to return?” I asked her.

“Maybe an hour or so. I can’t be gone for long.”

“Will you come with me to the cliffs?”

“Nathan, this is hardly the time for a romantic moonlit stroll.”

“As tempting as that sounds, that wasn’t my intention. I’d like to explain something that might better help you understand some things.”

“And we need to go to the cliffs for you to explain?”

“I think it would help.”

“Okay then. I’d love to.”

WILL POWER

Maryah

Nathan spread out a blanket and we sat down.

“I know you don’t remember it,” he said, “but in our last life, when we first moved to Sedona, we slept here under the stars.”

“Like we camped out?”

“Here, and on the ground where our bedroom now sits.” He leaned back, lying flat with his hands behind his head. His T-shirt rose just enough to reveal a peek at his toned abs. God, I missed him. I missed touching him, kissing him, being touched and kissed by him. I ached for more of the delicious quality time we had spent together before this most recent Dedrick crisis ensued. The carefree happiness of getting lost in Nathan seemed light-years away.

I shoved my hormones back where they belonged and curled up against him, resting my head on his chest. “Can we camp out here again? When all of this is over?”

He ran his hand through my hair. “It’s a date.”

Countless thoughts and questions whirled through my mind. I started with the most persistent on
e. “I’m curious about the starstone. What is it?”

His heartbeat quickened against my ear. My head rose as he took a huge breath. “I’m so glad you asked. A couple souls throughout history have claimed they have knowledge of it, but its whereabouts were never proven.”

“Maybe we could find those people and talk to them.”

He gently pushed me up to a sitting position. He searched my face while tucking my hair behind my ears. “The only one we would trust to tell us the truth can no longer discuss the matter with us.”

“Why not?”

He pressed his fingers so tightly against his lips that he looked like he was trying to keep his words from spilling out. That’s when I knew. I knew what he was about to say before his words escaped. “Because that person was you.”

I didn’t stiffen. I didn’t gasp. My heart didn’t even race. I was vaguely aware that my hands were squeezing the blanket on either side of me. Nathan stared at me and I stared back, neither of us saying a word.

My eyes dipped down, my focus landing on the peacock feather in my thumb ring. The truth hovered thick around me, waiting for me to snatch it and store it in my consciousness, but actually doing so was like trying to catch moonlight and stuff it in a jar.

Nathan rubbed my forearm “Are you all right?”

I looked up at him again. “It’s part of it. I don’t know how or why, but as soon as you sp
oke those words I knew the starstone is part of why I erased.”

He held my hand as pity unexpectedly darkened his eyes. “The stone wasn’t important to you. You mentioned it in passing, an afterthought. If I recall
, you said something like starstones existed and they conducted energy to provide power to Meru.
They
,” Nathan repeated. “As in more than one. A starstone isn’t some coveted mystical gem protected by secret societies like the other stones. According to you, starstones aren’t even stones, or as rare as the legends led us to believe. Starstones are to Meru what oxygen is to Earth. They aren’t tangible, but they’re vital.”

I hardly heard anything after Meru. “You said Meru. Are you saying I knew something about the mythical mountain place?”

He gave me one of his ah-ha-you’re-finally-catching-up smiles. “You visited Meru. You communicated with souls who lived there.”

This time I did stiffen. And gasp. My heart beat so fast my vision blurred. “What?” I rocked backward, but Nathan kept a tight grip on me. “The center of the universe, the mountain in the heavens place Edgar just told us about?”

Nathan nodded. “I know it’s a lot to take in. We told you that you were by far our most powerful member. You were always leaps and bounds ahead of us as far as enlightenment and universal dynamics.”

I opened my mouth, expecting all my questions about Meru and the universe to pour
out as fast as they formed in my head. But all that came out was, “What?”

“You described it as seeing a colorful sunset for the first time after living in a monotone world. You said the beauty and energy of it couldn’t be described with any human words that could ever do it justice. You told me it was the most awe-inspiring moment of your existence.”

“Did you believe me?”

“Did I believe how beautiful it was?”

“No, did you believe I really visited this Meru place?”

“Of course. You wouldn’t have lied about something like that.”

He believed I had somehow visited an otherworldly paradise with no proof. We must have had one heck of a relationship. “It sounds too good to be true.”

“Which is precisely why you said you’d never want to live there.”

“I said that?” If such a wondrous place existed why would I have never wanted to go back? “Why?”

“You said it was too perfect. The energy level was too pure. You said it was like a sky filled with stars so big and bright that there left no space for darkness. I told you it sounded beautiful, but you reminded me that stars are most appreciated when they shine
in the dark.” 

His words
, my words, echoed through my mind. “Mary was so much deeper than I am.”

He laughed. “Your depth knows no limits. Then and now.” He held my other hand, rubbing his thumbs across my wrists. “You said you had too much to do here. That Meru would always be there, perfect and glorious, but you enjoyed the imperfections and challenges of our world. You did go back once. You said you needed something but wouldn’t tell me what.”

“You have no idea how much I want to remember the past. Each new thing I learn just leaves me more lost. How could I have erased so many magical experiences and memories?”

“After Rina’s last visit, I felt closer to an answer. I still couldn’t grasp onto it, but it felt within reach. Then you came back and told us about Dedrick and Meru. All of our conversations
about Meru came rushing back to me. Toward the end of the meeting a possible answer finally came to me.”

“An answer to why I erased?” I perked up. “Tell me.”

“I think you had peaked. What if last time, after you died, there wasn’t a choice of who and where you wanted to be reborn? What if because of your experiences at Meru, you had become too enlightened to live a human existence again? Perhaps your only other option was starting over—wiping your soul’s slate clean of all the knowledge and power you had acquired.”

I couldn’t wrap my head around what it all meant. All of this magic, otherworldly stuff was still brand new to my wiped-out hard drive. I rubbed my temples as if that might help me compartmentalize the surge of information. “You mentioned souls who lived there. Who are they? Angels?”

“Higher-vibrating beings.”

“Oh g
od.” I glanced at the sky then pressed my palms over my eyes. “Please don’t say aliens. My brain might spontaneously combust.”

He laughed and pulled my hands into his lap. “You referred to them as akin. Souls who operated with a different awareness and type of existence. You said they were light and energy. No skin and bones.”

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this before now?”

“Like you said moments ago, I didn’t want your brain to spontaneously combust.” He caressed my cheek. “You erased everything. Weeks ago you struggled to believe that reincarnation was real. You were just getting used to the fact that supernatural abilities were a reality and that I was your soul mate.” He dipped his head, peering up at me from beneath his dark lashes. “When would have been a good time for us to tell you that you communicated with
beings from other planes, that your soul traveled through energy portals and acquired knowledge that even our eldest members couldn’t fathom?”

Definite mental overload. But I had to suck it up. I had to prove I could handle anything. Nathan couldn’t be
afraid to tell me anything anymore.

“Your first Meru visit was two lifetimes ago
,” Nathan continued. “After that you sprang into action, steadfast with an intricate plan for the rest of that life and our last one. You insisted we all needed to live near each other and that we relocate to Sedona. You convinced our kindrily to blindly follow your lead many times. It’s like you were positioning everyone where they needed to be.”

“And then I erased. I just gave up on you guys. Chickened out.”

“Don’t say it like that. The reason will reveal itself in time. Maybe this is all still part of your plan. Perhaps these ups and downs were necessary to achieve a happy ending.”

“Ending?”

“Metaphorically speaking.”

“I don’t know. What if I realized I really messed up? All the bad history with Dedrick, getting everyone killed at the wedding, what if I had screwed up to the point nothing was fixable so I decided to just throw it all away?”

“You believed you could fix anything.”

“Maybe the second time, when I went back to Meru, I saw some tragic destiny that couldn’t be changed.”

Nathan stared up at the sky. “My old friend Wil used to say, ‘It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves.’”

I grabbed Nathan’s knee. “I’m having déjà vu. Maybe I’m remembering Wil from a previous life. No, wait, maybe not. I think that’s a Shakespeare quote.”

“Right. He was famous for his writing in that life.”

My eyes bugged. “You knew William Shakespeare?”

He smugly winked. “Still do.”

I gaped at him and tugged his shirt. “Who is he now?”

“I’m not at liberty to say, but he’s been in a few movies and on television. One of his series even had
star
in the name. Funny how our origins stay connected with us no matter how different each lifetime is. He’s still sharing stories with the world, just in a different way than when he was Shakespeare. You’d be surprised how many gifted souls there are roaming this world.”

William Shakespeare reincarnated. My father would have been beside himself. “Does he have a soul mate?”

“He and Anne have been together through thick and thin.”

“That’s so cool. In a way Shakespeare is still alive.”

Nathan leaned back on his elbows. “Yes, older and wiser.”

“I miss this.” I traced my fingers over his thigh, feeling the solid muscle through his jeans. “I miss being here with you and hearing about our past. I don’t want to go back.”

“Then don’t.”

“I have to.”

He lifted my hand then kissed each of my knuckles. “I know.”

“You aren’t putting up much of a fight.”

“Because I know you too well. You’ll return no matter what I say. Because that’s what has to be done.” Apathetic encouragement coated his words. “The villain must be fought. The innocent girl must be saved. The story must end happily.”

I returned his bittersweet grin. “In order for that to happen you can’t hold back anymore. I can handle the revelations. You might need to use small words so my immature soul can understand, but I need to know everything.”

“Maryah, it will take me lifetimes to tell you everything.”

“That works for me.” I pushed him onto his back and cuddled up against him.

We lay there together gazing at the stars. One streaked across the sky so fast I thought I might have imagined it.

“Did you see that?” I asked.

“I did.”

“I used to wish on every shooting star I’d see, but now that I
know it’s a soul resetting, it feels wrong.” I swallowed down my guilt and disappointment in myself. “Someone out there just erased. They chose to burn out, like I did.”

Nathan rolled over, leaning over me and pinning me in place with his fervid gaze. He didn’t touch me. He didn’t need to. The loving flames in his eyes warmed me to my core. “You never have, nor will you ever burn out. You are the light of all of my lives. Then, now, and eternally.”