Fighting for Desire (24 page)

Shannon sat on the hard ground in front of the tiny
tombstone. When she lost the baby she had been so in debt she hadn’t been able
to afford a marker. The cemetery provided a little stone with a number on it so
she could find her baby. Number twenty-six.

After getting a job at a shitty restaurant she took her
first paycheck and bought her baby a real tombstone to honor him. White marble with
his name carved in the stone. Under his name was an angel, forever watching
over him.

She reached out and traced the letters of his name.

“I’m sorry it’s been so long since I visited,” she
whispered. “Things have been so…so…”

Her voice trailed off. How could she even describe
everything that had happened? Silent tears ran down her face and she wiped them
away with the back of her hand.

“I brought you something.”

She set the tiny teddy bear against the stone. The toy stared
back at her with empty eyes. Just like she felt.

“I saw your daddy,” she said. “He has changed so much but I
know he would have loved you as much as I did. And you would be so lucky to
have him in your life. He would have protected you no matter what.”

She was about to say more when a hand grasped her shoulder.
She looked up to see Dev standing there with tears brimming in his eyes. Pain
filled her body and she tried to block the emotion. He dropped to his knees
next to her and reached out to touch the tombstone.

“You named him after me?”

She nodded. “It was the only name that seemed right.”

Devlin Alexander James Jr.

“I’m so sorry, Shannon,” he rasped in a broken voice. “If I
had known…”

She took in a deep breath, trying to hold back the pain
burning in the back of her throat. “It wouldn’t have mattered. The doctor said
there was nothing that could have saved him.”

Dev’s shoulders shook as he sobbed. She reached out and
wrapped her arms around him, comforting him. She’d had eight years to deal with
the pain.

“Was it because of me? Did I cause you to lose the baby?”

She tightened her hold on him. “No, Dev. He just wasn’t
meant to be. I did everything I was supposed to do but the little guy just
wasn’t strong enough.”

Years went by before she truly understood the truth in those
words. Her baby just wasn’t meant to be.

“Did you…did you get to see him?”

He lifted his tear-streaked face, waiting to hear her answer.
Her lips trembled as she remembered holding her tiny son wrapped up in the
birthing blanket. He had been so small, she’d felt as if she held a black-haired
baby doll. Only the gray tint of his skin had been out of place.

“I was able to hold him before they took him away.”

Dev nodded. “I’m glad for that.”

Neither spoke. Ducks quacked from a nearby pond and the
sound seemed harsh in the moment.

Finally she asked softly, “Dev…what are you doing here?”

His gaze left their son’s tombstone and landed on her.

“We need to talk.”

She stood and shook her head. “No. You were right the last
time we talked. We should have never tried to make this,” she pointed back and
forth between them, “work. I’m sorry you were almost hurt in the process and I
promise I will pay you back the fifty-thousand dollars. I haven’t touched any
of the other money in my account. Only the money I won in Vegas.”

He stood too and opened his mouth to speak. Her throat ached
as she held back her tears. She had to do this before she lost her courage.

“No, let me finish. I am so sorry about the baby but I’m
glad you know the truth now. I tried so hard to find you back then and I’m
sorry I couldn’t.” She paused to catch her breath. “Dev…you didn’t even give me
a chance to explain my side of the story. I am happy for your success and the
life you have, but right now I can’t even look at you.

“I think it’s best if we go our separate ways from here. You
were right. We don’t belong together and the longer we carry on this charade
the worse it will be when one of us decides to walk away.”

She took a step back from him. “So this is goodbye, Devlin.”

Dev’s heart pounded. No, this couldn’t be happening! Not
now. She stared up at him with her sad blue eyes and truth stared back at him. She
gave up on them…on him.

“No.” The single word left his lips in a rush. “Shannon, I’m
not going to let you leave me.”

She took another step back. “You can’t stop me.”

“Shannon, I’ve been going crazy looking for you. When I went
back into our room and saw you were gone…”

A pained look crossed her eyes. “The room was never
our
room, Dev. Your room. Your home. Your rules.”

“You’re wrong,” he said. “Before you, that place was just a
house. You made that house a home just by being there. And I…I can’t let you
go.”

She ran her hand through her blonde hair. “Why drag this
out, Dev? You don’t trust me and I get that, but this will never work. There
are too many hurts that can’t be undone.”

“I do trust you! After you left the police station in
Colorado a detective forwarded your report to Marco. Marco’s new PI checked it
out and found out that not only were you telling the truth but also how Johnny
tried to sabotage you—us—with his lies. Thanks to you they have something to go
after him with now.”

She softly snorted. “So you believe me and trust me but only
because your new PI told you that you were wrong? That’s not good enough for
me. Hell, that shouldn’t be good enough for you.”

She took another step back. “Just let me go, Dev.”

Blood rushed to his head. He was going to be sick. What
could he say to make her see he needed her?

“I had your things moved from the storage unit to my house
in Miami. I think I finally understand why the only piece of furniture you own
is a rocking chair. You bought the chair for the baby didn’t you?”

Her eyes filled with tears and she nodded. “I found the
rocker a week before I lost him. I could imagine holding him and rocking him to
sleep.” She shook her head. “Dev, you had no right to move my things into your
house.”

He stepped forward and put his hands on her shoulders. “You’re
wrong. Shannon, I have been an ass. You tried to tell me several times what had
happened and I wouldn’t listen. I’m so sorry for that. But I know the truth now
and I don’t want this to end.”

“Why, Dev?”

Her lips were puffy from unshed tears and he wanted nothing
more than to kiss them, to let her know everything was going to be okay. He
wanted to hold her until she knew she was safe. He wanted…

His breath hitched.

“I can’t believe I almost let it happen again.”

She looked up at him. “Let what happen?”

He shook his head, trying to clear it. “Shannon, I can’t let
you go because I am hollow without you. I don’t want to end up like your dad or
even mine. Without you, I will become those men. You give me hope and joy. But
most of all you give me love.

“I can’t let you go because the world seems less without you
in it. It’s as if someone turned down the light and only your smile will
brighten my life.” He took in a ragged breath. “But most of all I can’t and
won’t let you go because I love you. I love you so much it hurts, Shannon. I
love you so much the thought of losing you kills me. I…”

Shannon let out a sob and pulled his head down to hers. Her
lips brushed against his as tears fell down her face.

“Say it again,” she begged through her tears.

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his warmth.
He never wanted to let her go.

“I love you, Shannon Bray. I have always loved you. I am so
sorry for being an ass. I hate myself for not trusting you and I can only pray
you can forgive me one day.”

“We both have things to be sorry about. I should’ve told you
from the start that someone was blackmailing me.”

“None of that matters anymore. There’s only one thing I care
about. Do you still love me after what I did—how I treated you?”

Shannon stared up at him.

“Dev, I will love you until my heart stops beating and the
air has left my lungs.” She punched him in the arm. “But if you ever accuse me
of something without letting me explain myself first I’ll cut your dick off.”

He threw back his head and laughed. How in the hell had he
gotten so lucky? He caught her mouth in a kiss. In that kiss he felt hope
budding between them.

When they pulled away she sighed.

“But how do we go from here? There are so many things we
still need to talk about…”

He ran his thumb over her lips. “We take it one day at a
time. That’s all we can do.”

She nodded. “Dev, there is something you need to know right
now, before this goes on any further.”

The look in her eyes worried him. What could she have to say
now, after everything else, that would upset her?

“Remember how the contract you had me sign stated I had to
take a pregnancy test when our time was up?”

The contract? This was about the contract?

He shook his head. “The contract doesn’t matter anymore. I
was an ass for even having you sign that.”

“Dev, you need to listen to me.”

Fuck. Her tone scared him.

“The pregnancy test. I remember.”

“I haven’t been feeling well since I left Colorado. I
thought I was depressed at first. God knows that was probably some of the reason
I felt like shit.” She paused and a faint smile lit her face. “Laura told me I
should go to the doctor. I didn’t want to go in Texas so I waited until I got
here.”

His heart pounded. “What did they say? Is everything okay?”

She took in a deep breath and put her hand on his cheek.
“I’m pregnant, Dev.”

His chest swelled with emotions.

“Are you…are you sure?”

She asked softly, “Does this change anything?”

He shook his head. “Not for me.” He reached into his pocket
and pulled out a small black box. “I bought this when you left me in Colorado.
I know it’s too soon to hope…but one day I pray you will wear this ring and
agree to marry me.”

He opened the box, revealing the yellow canary diamond
surrounded by tiny diamonds on a white-gold band that he had picked out with
her in mind.

“The canary diamond reminded me of you because you always
bring sunshine wherever you go.”

“Are you…are you asking me to marry you?”

He nodded. “Yes I am. Whenever you are ready and we both
agree the time is right, I want to marry you, Shannon.”

She threw her arms around his neck. “Yes. Oh, Dev…yes, I
will marry you.”

Joy unlike any he had known before filled his body. He slid
the ring onto her finger and lifted her hand to his lips.

“I love you, Shannon Bray. And I can’t wait to grow old with
you and our children…”

The sound of a laugh covered by a cough caused Dev to turn.
John Ice stood there smirking.

“Oh don’t let me stop you two. I’m enjoying this little
show. Really it’s better than a soap opera.”

Dev cursed and stood in front of Shannon, protecting her.
That asshole had already done enough damage to her life.

“What are you doing here?”

“Me? I came to get what’s mine.” He reached into his coat
and pulled out a gun. “And you are standing between me and what is mine.”

Shannon? He was there for Shannon? Icy fear filled his body.
John was unstable and Dev didn’t doubt for a moment the son of a bitch would
use the gun.

“There is no way in hell I’m letting you near her.”

He could feel her trembling behind him.

John laughed. “That’s actually cute, except for the fact
that I am the one holding a weapon. And you…you have nothing.” He waved the gun.
“Now be a good boy and hand her over.”

“Fuck you.”

Shannon put her hand on his arm and stepped around him.
“Dev…maybe it would be best if I went with him.”

She eyed the gun.

“Shannon,” he said in a low voice. “Think of the baby.”

This made her retreat behind him once again.

“I’ll admit I didn’t see that one coming but it’s something
that can be taken care of. There are always people willing to pay a lot of
money for a baby, especially one with her looks and your last name.”

Dev’s skin crawled. What in the hell was wrong with this
man? He talked about selling a baby as if it were nothing. As if there was a
chance in hell Dev would let
anything
happen to his child.

John chuckled. “The physician I make all my employees use
warned me Shannon could possibly get pregnant. Fake birth control runs that
risk, you know.”

Shannon whimpered.

John sighed. “Shannon, you might want to step away from your
boy toy. I would hate for you to get covered in blood.”

Dev’s heart pounded as he tried to think of a plan. This man
was crazy and he needed to get Shan out of there. Now.

“Johnny, why are you doing this?” Shannon asked in a voice
filled with tears.

“Why? Why? Are you two really that dense that you haven’t
figured out my motivation? Come on!”

“Ice, you don’t have to hurt anyone. Just let us go…” Dev
said, his hands held up in surrender.

John’s eyes narrowed. “I would have thought your momma would
have told you. I’ve heard dying people tend to right their wrongs when they are
close to death.”

How in the hell did he know about his mother being sick?

Dev’s jaw clenched. “What are you talking about?”

“Guess not. Ever wonder why your parents’ marriage caused such
a scandal?”

He’s baiting me, talking about my parents just to make me
lose my cool.
Dev took in a deep breath. “They got married because of me.
My dad knocked up my mom when they were teens. It’s not as if this is secret
information.”

John laughed. “If only that were the case. What if I were to
tell you your old man was screwing around on your mom?”