Fight or Flight (23 page)

“
That’s
it?” Jay turned to glare at Skunk but he was already halfway down the block.

Damn him. This wasn’t a squat. It was a fucking crack house. A pale faced girl lay sprawled across the front steps and syringes littered the front yard. And that was only the
outside
. There wasn’t a chance in hell he was taking Em in there.

“Jay?”

“No. No way, Em. Look at that place.”

“Jay, please? Just for tonight? Skunk said he had a room to himself. It’ll just be you and me.”

“And about fifty junkies that Skunk’s afraid will come into that room and steal his shit.”

“It looks warm.” Christ, she looked like he’d just run over her puppy, and then thrown the car in reverse and done it again. “Please, Jay?
Just one night? We can find another place tomorrow.”

His throat tickled again and this time he couldn’t hold the cough back. When tears pooled in her eyes, his heart broke. She was really that worried about him.
Worried enough that she wanted to spend the night in this hell-hole just so that he’d stay warm.

“One night.”
The hope flashed back into her eyes and he cursed himself for being so weak when it came to her. This was a bad idea. “I mean it, Em. Tomorrow we’re out of here.”

“One night,” she agreed with a smile.

“Stay close to me. Don’t talk to anyone. Don’t even look at anyone. You hear me? If anyone talks to you, you ignore them. Got it?”

“I got it.”

The girl on the front step barely roused as they stepped over her. Inside, things were pretty much as bad as he’d expected. Bodies were sprawled along the hall. Some conscious, some not. Some Jay wasn’t even certain were breathing. The staircase was covered in vials, rubber tubing, needles, and a spray of some brownish liquid Jay was pretty sure was blood, but he didn’t tell Em that. He hauled her up the stairs, stepping over and around junkies as they went past the second floor, where there was a rather loud argument going on, and up to the third. Thankfully, everything there seemed quiet.

Jay cracked the door open and peeked into the corridor, keeping Em behind him. There was only one girl in the hallway standing between them and the door they needed to reach.

“Hey there, sweetie.” The girl was rail thin, with sallow skin and limp hair. She stumbled on her way over to them and Jay instinctively reached out to steady her. “Hey, thanks. Aren’t you a sweetie? Hey, do you think you could help a girl out?”

“I don’t have anything.”

“I don’t need a lot. Just enough to get me through tonight? I’ll pay you back.”

“I really don’t have anything. I’m sorry.”

“Come on, man! I said I’d pay you back. I’m hurting here. Just help a girl out!”

She was too far gone to see he wasn’t lying to her. There was no point in arguing.

“Come on.” He pushed Em ahead of him toward the door, and the girl laughed.

“Oh yeah, sure.
You’ve got enough to pay for her, though.”

Em gasped and Jay wanted to strangle the girl.

“Keep going.” He pushed open the first door on the right and shoved Em inside, slamming it shut behind them.

He was going to have to kill Skunk the next time he saw him. They could still hear the girl screeching out in the hallway, but at least she didn’t try to follow them inside.

Em just stood there, staring at the back of the door. Jay wrapped his arms around her middle and pulled her into his chest. He knew this was a bad idea. He should have listened to his gut.

“I’m sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have brought you in here. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking.”

“No. No, it’s fine. I’m fine.” The way her body trembled against his, gave her away for the liar she was, but Jay didn’t call her on it.

“Come here.” Jay picked a corner where he’d have a clear view of the door, just in case, and pulled her down in his lap.

That sat together quietly, listening as the girl in the hall finally gave up and moved on. There were other sounds of fighting from inside the building but they were faint.

Jay ran his hand through Em’s hair and over her braid. “You’re so beautiful, you know that?”

She didn’t. He could tell from the way she smiled into her lap. She didn’t believe him either, but she would. He’d keep telling her until she did. He’d make her accept all of the wonderful things about herself.

“You’re so beautiful, and strong, and brave.”

She scoffed at the last one and it felt like a punch to his gut. She still thought of herself as a coward. Even after everything she’d done and been through, part of her still blamed herself. Probably always would. But it wouldn’t break her. She wouldn’t let it destroy her spirit like his mother had. Em was too strong for that. And he loved that about her.

Her stomach growled and he could actually feel it roll under his arms. He should have thought to find something to eat before they came here, but everything had happened so fast, and there was no way he was dragging her back through that house again tonight. They’d both just have to wait until morning and then they could start looking for another place to crash. It would work out. He knew it would because as long as he had Em with him, everything was right with the world.

Chapter Forty

Em

The relentless tug of sleep was just about to pull her under when the door burst open and she was suddenly face to face with her worst nightmare on the wrong side of consciousness. Jay was on his feet in an instant, while Em tried desperately to defy the laws of physics by pushing her body through the wall behind her. What was
he
doing here? How could
he
have found her? Oh, God.
He’d
said he would.
He’d
said he’d find her.
He’d
find her and he’d . . .

“Emmy, Emmy, Emmy.” He shook his head, strolling toward her like he hadn’t a care in the
world. “Look what you’ve done to yourself. Just look at you. Was
this
your plan? To become the fuck buddy of some nameless piece of trash hobo?”

“Don’t you dare speak to her like that,” Jay growled.

“You make some nice friends out here?”
He
continued as if Jay hadn’t even spoken. “Did you sleep with all of them? I’m sure you did. After all, one of them gave you this
lovely
place to stay, didn’t he? Of course, then he turned around and sold you out for twenty bucks. Guess you weren’t as good as you thought you were.”

Jay’s fists clenched so hard his arms shook. “Shut the fuck up! And stay the hell away from her, you son of a bitch.”

“What do you think you’re going to do about it?”
He
turned to Jay, acknowledging his presence for the first time. “She’s my niece, under my legal guardianship. Until she turns eighteen, she belongs to me.”

“Em
belongs
to no one.”

“Get up, Emerson. It’s time to go.”

“Don’t move, Em.” Jay overrode
his
order, without ever moving his eyes from her uncle.

“You really think you’re going to stop me from taking what’s mine?”

“I really do.” The steel in Jay’s voice made it sound almost possible, but he was weak from sickness and lack of nutrition, and Em’s uncle was no small man. She knew it wouldn’t be a fair fight. In the end, Jay wouldn’t stand a chance.

“Jay, don’t.”

“Shut up, Em.”

“Listen to her, boy. She’s smarter than she looks.”

“Yeah, well I hope you’ve got a picture because you’re never gonna look at her again.”

Before she could even register what was happening, Jay launched himself at her uncle. His fists collided twice before her uncle recovered enough to retaliate. After that things went downhill fast. A swift blow to the head sent Jay reeling into the wall.

With an impatient grunt, he pushed himself back into the fray, throwing another punch that was easily deflected. Her uncle responded with a fist to his stomach, which knocked the air right out of him, and he bent double in a coughing fit trying to reclaim some of it. An upper cut to the face sent Jay flying backwards once again and this time he hit the floor hard, sprawled on his back.

Her uncle advanced without mercy. A solid kick to his ribs had Jay curling into a tight ball on the floor boards. Blood trickled from his lips and from a gash on the side of his forehead.

“Let’s go.” A large hand circled Em’s upper arm in a crushing grip and dragged her to her feet.

She staggered up, trying to wrench her arm free, but
he
was too strong.
He
hauled her toward the door as she tried to dig her heels in, but it was no use. When
he
tugged again, she tripped over a loose floor board. A moment later her uncle’s grip was wrenched from her and he slammed into the wall.

“Keep your damn hands off of her!” Jay was clutching his side, but he was back on his feet and once again putting himself between Em and
her nightmares. “Leave her alone.”

When her gaze shifted back to her uncle, he was wiping away blood from his nose and looking pissed. This wasn’t going to end well. He stormed back over to where they stood, but didn’t give Em a second glance. His focus was solely on Jay, now.

Jay blocked his first punch, but he wasn’t quick enough for the second. Again, he hit the wall knocking chunks of plaster to the floor.

“Jay!” Em screamed at the sight of blood pouring from his brow line.

“Stay out of this, Em. I can take it.”

He could take it.
He
was
taking it . . . for her. Just like he had taken it for so many years for his mother. This is what Jay did. He protected the ones he loved at the expense of himself. He tried to peel himself back up off the floor, but when his arms gave out, Em couldn’t just stand back and watch anymore. She was stronger than that. Jay made her stronger than that. And now, was the time to prove it.

“Stop!
Please. You’re right. Just stop.” This was her fight, and for once she was going to fight it. She wasn’t a
useless coward,
anymore. No more. “I never should have left. I thought—I thought I could do better. On my own. But I was wrong.”

“Em . . . Don’t do this.
Please
, Em—” Blood sprayed the floor as a series of coughs tore from Jay’s chest. When his other arm gave out and he sank all the way to the floor, it took everything in Em not to run to him.

“No, Jay.” She held her ground and steeled her spine. Her fight may not have been as physical as Jay’s, but it was just as painful. “You were right when you said I didn’t belong out here. I never should have come. Just look
where I ended up.” Her gaze shifted back to her uncle who was watching her intently. She couldn’t fight him physically, but there were other ways to be brave. “This isn’t what I want. This isn’t where I want to be. Please . . . take me home.” The words burned like acid all the way up her throat.

“Em . . .” The plea in Jay’s voice was almost unbearable.

“No!
Enough
. You tried, Jay. You tried and you failed. Just give it up.”

“I’ll
never
give up on you. I
love
you.” Jay was lying in a heap on the floor cradling his ribs, still bleeding, and barely able to even lift his head, but the steel in his voice was undeniable.

She needed to change that. Jay would never stop fighting for her. He’d never let her go as long as he thought she needed—or wanted—his protection.

“No, you don’t. You love taking care of people, Jay. That’s who you are. And I loved the idea of being taken care of. It’s what I needed. But I don’t need it anymore. I don’t need
you
.” She knew what needed to be said—what would crush his heart, but save his life—even if it killed her to say it. “I don’t
love
you.”

“That’s bullshit, Em, and you know it.” He ran a hand across his mouth and spit into the disturbingly large pool of blood beneath him. But the pain
she
was inflicting was a million times worse than anything her uncle had done. She couldn’t back down, though. Not now. Not when he was so close to being safe.

“Screw you, Jay. I’m not your mother. I’m going home.”

Her heart splintered into a thousand irreparable pieces as she turned her back on him. She barely even noticed as her uncle dragged her from the room, leaving behind a beaten, bloodied, and broken Jay. He’d never forgive her, but at least he would
live
to hate her.

Chapter Forty-one

Emerson