Fey 02 - Changeling (104 page)

Now he was walking away from it as if it mattered not at all.
 
And Titus, who had only wanted to worship in his own way, was suddenly in the
 
middle of a struggle he only dimly understood.

If he had realized the day before that the Rocaan had been thinking of this when he passed along the Secrets, Titus would never have accepted them.
 
He wasn't an Elder.
 
He didn't have the experience or the training to work the complicated political paths that he would have to walk now.
 
Already he knew that he would have to make decisions he had never considered before.

He would have to give the Secrets to the Elder chosen by the Council.

Or he would have to refuse.

He leaned his head back.
 
The glass in the chandelier glimmered in the light of a single torch.
 
The ceiling panels were carved.
 
He had never noticed that before.
 
All the little details in the Tabernacle.
 
Rocaanism was a series of tiny details, some centuries old.

He wasn't ready for this.
 
He would never be ready for this.

"We need to call the Elders together," Porciluna said.

"I'm not an Elder," Titus said and sighed.

Porciluna was silent for a moment.
 
"Right now we have no time to discover what you are.
 
We have to find leadership for the Tabernacle."

"I still say we go after the Rocaan," Titus said.
 
It would be easier.
 
He was arguing the easy path, something he used to ridicule others for. But now he understood it.
 
If they found the Rocaan before he got too far, Titus wouldn't have to make any choices.

Porciluna clapped a hand on his shoulder. Titus found himself looking at the underside of Porciluna's chin.
 
Porciluna's skin was soft and acne scarred.
 
It smelled faintly of rosewater.
 
He didn't look happy.
 

"You think he should have chosen you," Titus said.

Porciluna started.
 
"An Elder would have been a logical choice to keep the Secrets," he said.
 
"That's what the 50th Rocaan did."

"And then kept that Elder in charge even when he shouldn't have been."
 
Titus shook his head, and pushed out of the chair.
 
Already he felt older than he was.
 
"When the Rocaan told me that he was choosing me for the Secrets, I argued against it.
 
But he said that it was the best choice.
 
I would never have any expectations of becoming Rocaan, so I wouldn't try to kill him.
 
That was yesterday.
 
It seemed like he wanted to stay in the position then."

"Something happened in the keep," Porciluna said.
 

"He murdered the Fey."
 

Both men whirled at the third voice.
 
Elder Reece stood in the door.
 
He didn't seem as nervous as usual, as if the crisis had somehow given him strength.
 
He was standing straighter, and his thinness made him seem powerful for the very first time.
 
Apparently neither Porciluna nor Titus had heard him come in.
 

"Murdered?" Titus said.

Reece nodded.
 
"The man's dead, and the guard says he tried to stop the Rocaan.
 
This time there can be no claim of accident."

"But the Fey tried to kill him," Porciluna said.

"Still it would make things clear that the Rocaan is out to get the Fey."

"I see nothing wrong with that," Porciluna said.

Reece sighed.
 
"But the King does.
 
The Rocaan left, I would guess, before the King can arrest him for the murder of the Queen.
 
He did us a favor."

"By leaving?" This conversation was moving too fast for Titus.
 
He was afraid, however, that all conversations would move too fast for him from now on.
 
These men knew so much more than he did.

Porciluna nodded.
 
"By making us choose a leader now, he prevents a long period of turmoil in the Tabernacle.
 
We have never had a Rocaan arrested.
 
We would have debated procedure until we were old men."

"But now he's fleeing justice," Titus said.

"That's probably why he wanted to leave so quickly," Porciluna said.

"That's another reason we should find him."

"No," Reece said.
 
"He did us a favor.
 
We can do him one."

"The King's guards will catch him anyway.
 
He has nowhere to go.
 
He won't get far."

"I don't understand any of this," Titus said.
 
"A man commits murder, not once but twice that we know of, and we let him go?
 
It makes no sense.
 
We're supposed to be leaders in this community.
 
We're supposed to know right from wrong."

Porciluna glanced at Reece.
 
"The boy has a point.
 
We need to make a decision tonight about the new Rocaan.
 
When we make the announcement, we'll say that we knew of Matthias's flaws for a long time now, and were trying to deal with him."

"That's not what I meant!" Titus said.
 
"We need to find him, and to bring him to the King ourselves.
 
And then we need to figure out what to do about his position.
 
No Rocaan has ever resigned, just like no Rocaan has ever been arrested.
 
What's the difference between one and the other?"

"The future of the Tabernacle," Porciluna said.
 
"If we let the Rocaan be imprisoned, then we can never be leaders in this community again."

"But how can we be leaders if we do something like this?
 
Just because people don't know doesn't make it right."

Porciluna and Reece looked at each other.
 
Titus's cheeks warmed.
 
That look implied that he was young, that he didn't know what he was talking about, that he had no understanding of the world.

And he didn't.

"It's our job to make these kinds of decisions," Porciluna said.

But Titus wasn't going to let go.
 
"I thought it was our job to follow God's will."

Porciluna shrugged.
 
"It will be God's will if the guards capture Matthias."

"God would have stopped him if he hadn't wanted him as Rocaan. God would have stopped the killings, too."

"That's dangerous ground," Reece said.
 
"We can't know if God ever condones killing."

"Not even killing of Fey?" Titus asked.
 
The Rocaan's argument had been that Fey were demons and therefore not worthy of life.

"Any killing at all."

"But we kill to eat," Titus said.
 
This was what angered him about the Rocaan, this arguing about words without listening to the heart of a subject.
 

"Do you condone killing Fey?"

Titus shook his head.
 
"But I think we should always listen to the man God appointed Rocaan."

"Another man appointed the Rocaan, not God."

"Acting with God's still small voice speaking in his ear!" Titus said.

Again the two Elders glanced at each other.
 
Titus felt his flush deepen.
 
"You're not going to tell me that the still small voice doesn't exist," he said quietly.
 
"I know it has.
 
I've heard it."

Porciluna nodded almost imperceptibly at Reece.
 
It was well known that Reece was the believer of the two.

"Have you heard it on every decision?" Reece asked.

"No, but if you hear it once, then you know it's working in the other cases," Titus said.
 
He couldn't believe he was having this discussion with Elders.
 
He had had it as a young Aud, with other young Auds, some of whom became Rocaanists only because their family asked them to.
 
But Elders should have worked this out a long, long time ago.

"Exactly," Reece said.

Titus shook his head, suddenly confused.
 
Exactly what?
 
They were dismissing him as if he were a child.
 
He wasn't a child.
 
"I think we should get the Rocaan.
 
I think we should face what's coming for us as a unified body.
 
If our leader believes that the Fey are threats to us and to God, then we should listen to him."

"We don't have a leader," Porciluna said.

"We did just a few moments ago," Titus said.
 
"Send some Auds for him.
 
Bring him back."

Reece glanced down the hall, and closed the door.
 
Then he came over and took Titus's arm.
 
"You're frightened, aren't you?" he asked.

Titus shook his arm away. He didn't want this fake compassion.
 
He had decisions to make, a church to save, ideals to hold.
 
Some of those decisions had to be made now, before the Rocaan was gone for good.
 
"I just think we should be certain of our choices," he said.

"The Rocaan made his choice," Porciluna said.

"Based on politics and fear, not on belief!"

"How do you know that?" Reece said.
 
"How do you know what's in a man's heart?"

They reversed the argument on him, and he had no answer for that.
 
None at all.
 
Titus shook his head.
 
"I just think we should get him."

"And save you the embarrassment of sharing the Secrets with one of us?" Porciluna asked.

Titus swallowed.
 
He was frightened.
 
But he suspected the fear was healthy.
 
"What if the Elders don't decide on a new Rocaan?
 
What then?"

"We'll decide," Porciluna said.

"No," Reece said softly.
 
"We have to address this.
 
It's a valid fear.
 
We're already in trouble since none of us has the Secrets."

"I have the Secrets," Titus said.

Reece started, his thin body shaking with the violence of his reaction.
 
"You —?"

"That's why he's here," Porciluna said.
 
"Matthias wanted to be sure I knew who kept the Secrets, and that I should leave the boy alone."

"I thought you had them," Reece said.
 
He put a hand to his face and rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.
 
"This changes things."

"It changes nothing," Porciluna said.

"No," Reece said.
 
"It makes sense of the boy's question."
 
He brought his hand down, his faded blue eyes seeking Titus's.
 
"If we can't agree on a Rocaan in the Council of Elders, son, then you become Rocaan by default."