Fever Dream (31 page)

“And you didn’t listen to me,” he reminded her in a reproachful whisper. “Bad girl, when you don’t listen. Even if you saved my life.”

*** *** ***

Petra sat beside Mem on the couch in the private hospital room. Rubio slept in the bed, though he seemed far too large for the narrow, institutional mattress. They’d sedated him because he was so agitated, and because he had so many cuts, so many splinters of glass embedded in his skin. Each had to be picked out one by one, each wound covered in antibiotic cream and bandages. The only really deep cut was a gash on his side that took sixty stitches.

As for Petra, she had no physical injuries except a bruise on her leg, probably from the last time Ruby shoved her back. Emotionally, she was a lot worse off. She couldn’t stop shaking, couldn’t stop thinking about Paulsen and his grisly death.
It might have been Ruby’s death
, she thought over and over.
Or yours.
The entire episode was burned in her brain, Paulsen’s flailing arms, his fury, the look on his face as he lurched backward…

She’d texted Mem and Liam on the way to the hospital, and Mem had arrived first, holding her in the waiting room until her volcanic shudders eased. Liam came later, when Ashleigh and baby Alanna were settled and sleeping a few floors above them. He looked exhausted, his features tense with concern.

“Petra, how are you? Are you all right?” He crossed the room in two strides and pulled her into a smothering embrace. “I can’t believe this happened. I can’t believe that fucking lunatic got to you after all.”

“It’s not your fault,” she said to calm him. “And I’m fine. Mostly fine. There’s just…stuff I saw that I wish I could forget.” She shivered, burying her face against his shoulder. “He put a gun against Ruby’s head and I was so afraid he’d shoot him. I couldn’t breathe. He—he tried to push Ruby out the window. He almost did.”

“I’m so sorry.” Liam rubbed her back as she trembled against him. “I’m so sorry about what happened. But everything will be okay. Ruby will be okay. And Paulsen…”

Is dead. Splattered on the sidewalk.
She closed her mind to that thought as Liam released her and crossed to Ruby’s bed, taking in his bandaged arms and hands.

“He’s all cut up,” she said in a quavery voice.

“Ruby will be fine. He’ll be running around annoying everyone again within a week or two. He’s a tough guy.”

Liam’s words triggered more flashbacks: Ruby grunting and grappling with Paulsen mere feet from the window, from the eight-story drop.

“Pictures. I need baby pictures,” she begged. “Distract me, please. Show me your little girl.”

They sat near the bed while Liam flicked through about a hundred photos he’d taken since Alanna’s birth just before midnight. “Look at her hair,” he said, the epitome of the proud father. “She’s so beautiful. Her eyes look like Ashleigh’s. She’s so soft, like a...a cotton ball. A beautiful, sweet little cotton ball.”

Petra glanced over at Mem, who stifled a smile. “She’s even prettier than a cotton ball,” she said. “And I love her name.”

“It’s Irish. God, she’s just...oh, look at this one. It almost looks like she’s smiling.”

“It’s good luck for a newborn to smile,” said Mem. “She will surely be a blessed child.”

Liam chuckled. “You can say it. She’ll be a spoiled child. But that’s okay.”

The man was ecstatic, glowing from the inside. So much for Ashleigh’s worries about a father’s love. Petra felt a pang of sadness, that her father had never taken a hundred pictures of her, or called her a sweet little cotton ball. She had to make peace with it. She had to accept that she was fatherless and move on. At least she’d had her mother’s love, which was more than some kids had. She had Rubio’s love too, and she’d taken it for granted.

She swallowed down a choking sob. “No, I’m okay,” she said quickly at Liam and Mem’s concerned glances. “I just keep remembering how close...how close I came to losing him tonight.”

Not just tonight. Forever. She’d almost given him up, the man who loved her more than life itself. He would have gone out that window to save her, she was sure of it. When she thought of how she’d treated him, how she’d pushed him away, the tears started up again, even harder than before.

Liam hugged her while Mem went for more tissues. “It’s okay,” Liam murmured. “Ruby’s okay. I mean, he’s gonna wake up a little cranky, but everything’s going to be fine.”

“No, I was awful to him,” she sobbed. “I’ve been awful and cold from the start because of my stupid fears.”

“Fears are never stupid,” said Mem. “But they are sometimes unfounded.”

“I’ll never be able to make it up to him. All this stuff he went through since he met me... He almost
died
.”

Liam made a soft sound. “He never lived before he met you. So, I don’t know. Is almost dying as bad as never living in the first place?”

“
Mamãe
?” Rubio stirred, coming to wakefulness. “
Mamãe, você tá chorando?
”

The three of them hurried over to the bed. Ruby tried to turn over and groaned. “Don’t move,” Liam said, pushing him back. “You have a shitload of stitches.”

“Where is Petra? Petra fell down?” His face twisted into a haggard mask of torment. “Oh God, I tried to save her.”

“I’m here,” she said, leaning close to him. “I’m right here. I’m okay.”

“I think he’s still sleeping,” said Liam. “The sedatives.”

“Don’t wake him,” advised Mem.

“He’s half-awake though. He’s scared.” Liam touched his arm. “Petra’s okay, Ruby. I promise, she’s fine.”

He shook his head. “She left me. She left me, Liam. She’s gone.”

“No, she’s right here. She’s the one touching your hair.”

“Oh.” He closed his eyes again and went still. “I thought it was my mother.”

Petra pressed her lips to his cheek. “You can call your mom in a while. I’m here and I’m fine. It’s okay to sleep now.”

He seemed to do that for a few precious seconds, but then he came awake again, caught between consciousness and lingering sedation. “I don’t want to sleep. Paulsen—”

“Is at the city morgue,” said Liam. “He’s not going to bother either of you anymore.” He eased Ruby’s head back on the pillow. “Relax so you don’t hurt yourself.”

“I think he stabbed me.
Filho da puta.
I have very bad pain in my side.”

Petra covered her mouth, torn between crying and laughter. Rubio was most certainly alive, and his usual belligerent self. At the sound of her laughter his eyes finally focused on her. He blinked and reached out to touch her cheek. “Petra. Thank God. You didn’t fall out the window?”

She shook her head, swallowing back tears. “I didn’t fall out, no. I’m totally fine. How are you?”

“My side hurts. I’m not sure I can dance tonight. I’ll try.”

“You’re not dancing tonight. You’re going to need a break, but it’s okay. Edward knows the part.”

“Edward?” Ruby looked at Liam, his eyes clouding with confusion. “Why are you here? Everything’s okay?”

The sedation seemed to be wreaking havoc on his ability to have a focused conversation. Liam soothed his friend. “Everything’s fine. I’m here because Ash had the baby. They’re sleeping upstairs.”

Ruby grew agitated again. “No, no, I won’t make a baby in Petra. I promised. I want her to be happy. I just want her to be happy. Tell Petra I won’t make a baby.”

“No, it’s Ashleigh, not Petra—” Liam began.

Rubio clawed at the front of his friend’s shirt. “I love her. But I’ll pretend not to, if she wants. If she’ll come back to me. Tell her I don’t love her, okay?” He fell back, wincing. Liam glanced at Petra.

“I’ll tell her, Ruby, but I don’t know if she’ll believe me.”

“We’ll just dance,” he said, his voice getting slow and measured again. “Professional. Maybe someday she’ll love me and then I’ll marry her and put babies in her. But not until she wants.”

Liam winked at her. “That sounds like a good plan. But you should rest now. We can talk later, when the sedatives wear off.”

“Sedatives,” he said, his body relaxing. “What is that?”

“It’s kind of like truth serum,” Liam answered. “But don’t worry about it.”

Petra stroked Rubio’s glossy black hair. “
Mãe
?” he asked again.

“No, your mom’s not here. It’s Petra.”

“Petra,” he said, drawing out the ‘r.’ Liam and Mem left quietly, shutting the door behind them. Ruby reached up to cup her face, then grunted in pain. “
Merda
, my side. Come, please. Come closer.” He put his hand on her neck, stroking her pulse. “You’re alive. You’re here.”

“Yes, I’m here.” She stared down at his sculpted features, at the hint of stubble coloring his cheeks. He was so beautiful even half asleep, drugged out on meds.

“Ohhhh,” he said, taking a deep breath. “I’m so glad. I love the smell of you. Tonight... Petra...I was so scared. I didn’t want to lose you.”

She hunched beside the bed, stroking the worried lines from his face. “I didn’t want to lose you either. I didn’t want to lose my wonderful partner.”

His expression softened. “Wonderful. You think I’m wonderful?”

“I know you are.”

He gazed at her, his black eyes narrowing into sharper focus. If she had to guess, she’d say he was finally emerging from his sedative haze. “I had this dream,” he said tentatively. “It was a terrible dream.”

“Was it about Paulsen, and a gun, and glass all over your loft?”

“Yes,” he breathed warily, looking around the hospital room.

She reached to touch his lips. “It wasn’t a dream. I’m sorry.”

“But you’re okay?”

She nodded, her throat too tight to speak. Now that he was awake, now that he was fully there, she could have died from the concern in his eyes.

“You saved me,” he said after a long moment. “You saved my life. You beat him off with my cane.”

“Yes. Thank God you told me about it.” She traced the line of his jaw, lingering over a little mole by his chin. “Paulsen died, Ruby. He fell out your window.”

“I know.” He swallowed hard. “I pushed him, right? But I had to.”

“That’s what the police said, that it was self defense. They came and took my report while you were under sedation. Liam was here, and Mem.”

“Under what?” he asked, wrinkling his brow.

“Under sedation. They made you sleep while you had surgery to stitch up your cuts. Are you comfortable? Do you hurt?”

“As long as you’re here, I don’t hurt too bad.”

She closed her eyes and pressed her cheek to his. She felt the same way. It would be a while before she got over the events of the past night, but his nearness gave her comfort. For a long time she bent near him, touching his hair, breathing in his familiar scent. “I can’t lean down anymore,” she finally sighed, straightening. “My back.”

“Then come in bed with me.”

“I don’t know if the hospital allows that,” she said, eyeing the narrow mattress. “And you’re hurt.”

He made a dismissive sound and inched over. “You weigh what? A hundred pounds? There’s room for you.”

She climbed up next to him, being careful not to jostle the stitches on his injured side. It had been a long time since she lay beside him in bed. Too long. From the expression on his face he was thinking the same thing.

“Hey, you know what?” she said. “Ashleigh had her baby. It’s a beautiful little girl. They named her Alanna.”

“Alanna,” he repeated thickly. “That’s pretty.” He gave her a sideways glance. “I feel tired. Am I talking funny?”

“You always talk funny, but I love you anyway.”

He used the tip of a finger to lift her face, and traced her lower lip. “I love you too, Petra. So much.” He shook his head. “No, I mean, I don’t love you. I mean, I love you only as professionals. As friends. Whatever you want, to make you happy.”

She pressed her forehead to his. “It would make me happy for us to be together. To be in love, really in love. The thing is, I love you like crazy, in every possible way, so I don’t think we can stick to the professional thing anymore.”

He stared at her, the tiny worry lines returning to his brow. “Is this real? Or a dream?”

She giggled through the emotion choking her voice. “It’s real, I promise. I...I’ve done a lot of thinking in the last twenty-four hours. About you, about Paulsen and my father.” She took Ruby’s hand and held it in her lap. “I thought about all of you, and I realized that Paulsen wanted me too much, and my father never wanted me enough, but you always wanted me the perfect amount. You’re kind and wonderful and perfect in so many ways.”

“I’m not perfect. I’m rough and I’m stupid and my English is not so good—”

“You’re perfect,” she said, silencing him with a finger. “And I’m in love with you. Not just professional, not just at work. Not just friends. I’m desperately, whole-heartedly in love with you and I hope you can forgive me for being confused for so long.”

“You love me?” he asked, like his English decoding skills might be failing him.

“I love you,” she repeated. “I love you a billion times.”

“A billion times.” He grinned, drawing the “billion” out into three long syllables. “Then I forgive you, yes. And I didn’t mean what I said earlier about not loving you.”

“I know.”

He sighed and laced his fingers into her hair. He kissed her, tenderly at first, then with a deeper passion, the release of all his previous restraint. She wanted the passion, all of it. She wanted him to be himself, no matter how rough and perverted he was, because she loved his kindness and warmth, and his staunchly protective nature.

“Don’t fall,” he said in the middle of his kiss, wrapping a bandaged arm around her. “Is a little bed.”

She wouldn’t fall, not with him looking after her. Petra thought she loved his protective nature most of all.

Liam and Mem helped move Ruby’s things into Petra’s apartment, and his furniture into storage. His loft wasn’t exactly habitable. He’d fix it up and sell it eventually, because he couldn’t live there anymore. He’d really liked his concrete loft, but he couldn’t bear to live near that window. For weeks afterward he couldn’t be near any windows.