Fever (16 page)
COLE
My mouth dropped open, my eyes transfixed on the exquisite form in front of me.
“Ella.” The word came out as a breath. I was too astonished to make another sound.
It couldn't...but it made so much sense.
The pull that I’d felt for her, the way she affected me.
My songbird was the girl I’d been craving.
I smiled. “I can't believe it's you.”
She shook her head, a tear escaping.
I stepped toward her, wanting to brush it away. Actually wanting to do a hell of a lot more than that. She stood there in nothing but a towel and my insides were going crazy. Her wet hair, long and straight, caressed the top of her breasts. I wanted to reach out and gather her in my arms, but she raised her hand and moved away from me.
“Don't. It can't be you.” She sounded broken, as if this was the worst thing that could have ever happened to her.
It hurt, like a sledgehammer through my chest.
“Why'd you never tell me you could sing?”
“Ditto.” She pointed at me.
I grinned and nodded my head, holding the towel around my waist. If it fell, she'd get a glimpse of exactly what I was feeling, and I had a sneaking suspicion that wouldn't fly.
Thankfully she was gazing at my face, staring into my eyes with an agony that was breaking my heart.
“What are we supposed to do now?”
She let out a splintered laugh. “There's nothing we can do. We just have to pretend like this never happened.”
“I can't do that.”
“He's your roommate.
Your best friend. We don't have a choice, Cole.” She clutched the towel, her delicate knuckles turning white. “No one can know about this.”
I wanted to reason with her, talk sense, but she was right. This was a catch-22 neither of us were prepared for.
Rock, meet hard place.
I closed my eyes with a grimace. “No one will,” I finally muttered.
My heart was crushed beneath those words. It didn't help that when I opened my eyes, her face bunched with tears. She was as devastated. That should have been some kind of comfort, but it wasn't.
I couldn't look at her as she grabbed her stuff and fled the room. I was too shell-shocked to follow her. All I knew was that those heartbroken sniffs as she ran away from me would be the only music I’d hear tonight.
ELLA
Professor Mishan's voice washed over me as I sat in class.
My pen whirled over my paper, curving around a large C before circling the o beside it. A second later it was looping up for an l and then swirling around an e.
Cole.
The name stared up at me...a taunting reminder of what I couldn't have.
I scribbled it out and tried to focus back on the professor's words, but I couldn't. All I could see was Cole's half-naked body standing in front of me. I was right
; he was Superman.
His chest was broad and perfect, the curve of his muscles turning my legs to jelly. My blood had run hot as I watched him clutch his towel, trying to hold it in place and hide his erection. It hadn't worked.
Man, he'd wanted me. Big time.
If I'd lost control like I'd wanted to, I would have had him there on the cool bathroom floor.
My cheeks grew hot and I rubbed my mouth, squirming in my seat to eradicate the tingles firing between my legs.
It felt like cheating. I know I hadn't done anything, but my mind had made love to Cole in so many ways since that night, and I couldn't seem to make it stop.
It'd been over a week since I'd seen him standing in the girl's bathroom, and the images were still crystal clear. I'd rushed back to my room, thrown myself onto the bed and cried like a baby.
Cole.
Why did it have to be Cole?
It made sense in some ways. We seemed drawn to each other, magic and passion. It was an addictive mix, and I wanted a taste of it so bad. Not just a taste. I wanted to swim in an ocean of it.
The last ten days had been hideous.
I'd been in major avoidance mode, trying to make sure I didn't bump into him. I'd stopped singing in the shower and started spending more and more time with Morgan, who had broken up with Brad and was feeling just as miserable as I was. She said they were going to remain friends, but I had a feeling it was pretty awkward and difficult right now. I think she was appreciating the company.
I hadn't seen Cole in six days. The last time had been uber-uncomfortable. David sat between us at the basketball game, and he would have been completely numb not to feel the tense vibes circling around him. When he'd asked me about it, I'd just said he was imagining things and then blamed my period when I declined his invitation to spend the night.
After lying straight to his face, twice, I'd gone into turtle mode
; that was what my dad used to call it.
“Watch out,” he'd say, “Ella's in turtle mode again.”
It was my way of dealing with things. When something got on top of me, I found it easier to just close off the world, hide inside my shell and keep my lips sealed. I'm sure Mom and Dad used to bet on who could get me to open up first. They had their different prying techniques, and one of them would always break me.
That was now Morgan's job, but like hell I’d let her in on this.
She knew something was up. I knew she'd start working me soon, getting under my skin with her little comments. I remained her grace period for now, but the expiration date loomed near.
Cole had popped around twice this week. The first time
, he'd made the mistake of identifying himself. I'd jumped back from the door and crept to my room, hoping he would think I wasn't there. After five minutes he gave up. It was a double-edged sword of disappointment and relief that tore through me as I listened to him walk away.
The second time, Morgan had answered the door, and I hadn't been there. He'd kept his mouth shut about why he wanted to chat to me, and when Morgan asked me about it, I hedged big time, which was why I knew she was getting ready to yank my head out of my shell and make me talk.
She said she wanted a girls' night this weekend, and I had no choice but to agree. I was sort of dreading it, but maybe it would be a relief to get it all off my chest.
My phone vibrated inside my jeans pocket, and I stretched my leg to pull it out. Hiding it under my desk, I read the text and pressed my lips together.
We have to talk about this. You can't keep ignoring me. Please. Just one conversation.
I squeezed the phone in my hand, knowing Cole was right. He’d been texting me daily, and I’d quickly deleted each one.
I couldn't see him.
Not because I didn't want to. We did need to talk this out some more, try to find some even ground we could walk on. David
’s suspicions would grow if he could never get the two of us together again.
I was just afraid that if I
was alone with Cole for even a minute, I’d lose all self-control.
David deserved my loyalty.
I couldn't break his heart and run off with his best friend. That was all kinds of wrong.
I wouldn't be that girl.
No, there was nothing we could do. I just had to stay away from Cole until I was over him...then David and I could get on with his plans for our future.
Damn
it, that sounded so wrong. Why was I staying with David? I knew in my heart I should have been rehearsing my break-up speech, but every time I imagined it, my insides turned to ice. I couldn't look David in the eye and finish a three-year relationship; the very idea was petrifying. I loved him. Yes, Cole did things to me, but did that give me the right to break David's heart? I couldn't hurt him. I couldn't do it.
Swiping my thumb over the screen, I pressed the red delete box and Cole's message disappeared.
COLE
I muttered a curse and dumped my phone onto the bar.
She still hadn't replied. I'd been checking my phone all damn day and nothing.
How could she be so stubborn?
We had to talk this through, even if the outcome wasn't what we wanted. Now that I was over my shock, I was levelheaded enough to recognize that we needed to exchange serious words.
It wasn’t like I was going to ask her to dump David and move in with me. Although I’d love that, I'm not a heartless bastard.
I just missed her, and getting back to being friends was better than nothing. I wasn't dumb enough to think that things could ever be the same. There would forever be a slight discomfort between us now. I wanted her. Bad. I couldn't help wondering if she wanted me too, but I knew she was loyal and David would win this one. She certainly wouldn’t break up with him to be with me. No, if she ever did decide to leave him, it had to be for her.
My phone dinged, and I nearly tripped over myself getting back to the bar.
Malachi chuckled at me as he sat down the other end, going over some paperwork.
I hurried to unlock my phone and my shoulders slumped as I read the text.
“Not the one you were hoping for, eh boy?”
“Nah,” I sighed. “It was just Quinn letting me know about that swing band. They're playing at a club on Saturday night. I'll pop down and see if they're a good fit for here.”
“A swing band? In this place?”
“I've heard really good things about them. Maybe they can do a mellow jazz set.”
“Oooo, that sounds divine.” Nina closed the door to their apartment and shimmied across the empty floor. “I can just picture it.
A few Louis vibes floating through the room. Do they have a female singer?”
“Not sure.” I shrugged. “I guess I'll find out this weekend.”
Nina headed to the stereo system, picking up the iPod and scanning for a playlist. Moments later, Ella Fitzgerald started singing “Summertime,” and I wanted to curl into a ball and die. I could imagine my Ella nailing this song.
“Not
your
Ella, you asshole,” I muttered.
“What did you just say?” Nina's green eyes rounded.
“Nothing.”
Her red hair spilled over her shoulder as she tipped her head to the side and looked at me. Approaching me cautiously, she held out her hand. “Dance with me.”
“Not today, Nina.” I pressed my back against the bar.
“Cole Reynolds, when a lady that beautiful asks you to dance, you don't say no.” Malachi dropped his pen and glared at me.
With a sigh, I took Nina's hand and let her guide me to the dance floor. Taking her into my arms, the way she showed me how, I took the lead and we began a slow shuffle across the wooden floor.
“Tell me your woes.”
“I really don't want to talk about it.”
“That may be the case, but you need to. So spill.”
I squeezed her hand and pushed her away for a slow spin before bringing her back to my side.
“I'm falling in love with a girl I can't have.”
Nina's lips twitched. I could tell she was reining in a full-blown smile.
“It hurts, Nina.”
Her green gaze filled with affection. “Why can't you have her?”
“Because she's with David.”
“Are you talking about that gorgeous little thing that was here a few weeks ago? She stayed to help us clean up.”
“That's the one.”
“I liked her.” Nina's freckled cheeks rose with a smile.
“There's no point in you doing that.” I dipped Nina then pulled her back up and spun her away from me. “She's pretty loyal to the guy.”
“Do you think they're suited?”
“No. He doesn't see her. I don't even think he knows that she can sing like an angel. She's with him, but it's like she's afraid to give him everything. I don't—I don't know if I'm just saying that because I want her with me.”
“But she's opened up to you.”
“Sometimes I wonder if I know her better than he does...and they've been together for three years now.”
“So why does she stay with him?”
“Beats me!” I huffed.
“Do you think she likes you, too?”
I paused, looking down at Nina, my smile broken. “I thought I felt a connection, but maybe I was wrong.”
“You're not. I saw it, when she was here that night.”
“She's not mine, Nina.” My voice broke. “And now I don't want anything else.” I dropped her arms and paced away from her. “That woman I left with the other night, I couldn't go through with it. I don't want casual sex anymore, and thanks to you guys and your crap about being a team and building your dreams together, that's all I want! You guys totally screwed me over!”
Nina looked at Malachi, who gazed back at her before letting out a loud guffaw. “Oh, you've really got it bad, Boy-o.”
“Shut up, Malachi. This frickin' sucks.”
“Mac the Knife” started to play, and I grabbed Nina up again. I'd take this upbeat tune over the melancholy crap any day. Nina wouldn't take her eyes off me as I held my head high and tried to avoid her gaze. As the song drew to an end, I dipped her and she caught my gaze.
“Life has a way of working out, Cole. God's not into torturing people.”
“Do you always have to bring your faith into every conversation?” I drew her north with a hard snap before letting her go.
“It's part of who I am, so yes. I do.” She put her hands on her hips. “I'm not asking you to believe in him, I'm just telling you what I think.”
“Well, you're wrong about the torture thing, because he's put me through plenty.”
She sighed, her expression growing even
more tender. “I know you haven't had the easiest life, but good things have come for you too.”
“How is this good?” My voice wobbled, tears burning at my eyes. I pressed my thumb and forefinger into my sockets, forcing the feeling away.
Nina's hands landed on my arms, gently rubbing my taut biceps.
“You know when you first came to us and you were this hurting, lost kid?”
I glanced at her.
“I fell in love with you instantly, Cole. I saw something so precious in your gaze. It helped me hold tight when you had those tantrums and that time you tried to run away.” She chuckled. “Do you remember what I used to say to you once you'd calmed down?”
I looked to the floor, squeezing the back of my neck. “You said that sometimes we have to wade through the muck to reach higher ground. You promised me that I would find my way.”
“And you did.”
I snickered, resting my hands on my hips and clenching my jaw. “I don't feel like it right now.”
“Honey, you know I would never wish any kind of heartache on you, but you have to believe that something good is going to come out of this. You'll eventually reach your higher ground, and you'll be stronger and wiser than you were before. There's always a bigger picture in play. You have to cling to that hope.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.” I flicked my hand dismissively and then shot her an apologetic smile. With a slow nod, I let out a sigh. “She feels so right for me, Nina. She's my one and I can't have her.”
“You can't see into the future. Who knows what a little patience will achieve.”
“Good things come to those who wait, right?” I rolled my eyes.
“Well, and to those who fight for it.” She grinned. “She's obviously not ready for you to do that yet. You just need to bide your time. Accept where she's at.”
“But what if she just lets David keep controlling her future? What if she doesn't figure it out?”
“Cole, you have to trust that if she's meant to be yours, she will be...and if there's someone better for you out there, then your feelings for Ella will fade.“
I couldn't imagine it, not for a heartbeat. The second I worked out that she and Songbird were one and the same, I knew...right down to my very core. Ella was the girl for me.
