Fever (16 page)

            “You’re still you,” Jack assures me. “Wonderfully, perfectly you. Don’t forget that. Don’t forget that you’ve already done a lot of good in this job either.”

            “Thanks,” I say with a smile. “Though I guess I kind of liked being a student, you know?”

            “I know,” Jack says. “I loved you as president, but I also loved falling back in love with you when I was a Fader, too. I loved the simplicity of that.”

            I nod. “It looks like the world is going to get complicated again though.”

            “As complicated as we let it be,” Jack insists. “Listen. Everything is going to be fine.”

            “Even with the Fever?” I can’t help a sudden stab of worry at the thought of the Fever. We don’t have the results back from John yet. There are still so many things that could have gone wrong. What if the Faders’ tactics didn’t scare enough of the creatures to death? What if those that did survive were able to breed and grow stronger? What if Hammond did something before he left? Things should be better by now, but what if they aren’t?

            “It’s okay,” Jack assures me, taking my hands. “Before he… before he died, Dr. Cook issued orders for the remaining Faders to keep up the fight. He effectively changed their ch loved main mission. They went from looking for people like us to looking for the creatures and destroying them wherever they found them. I don’t know how well they did, but if they were half as determined about that as they were about hunting us, I’m pretty sure there won’t have been many of the creatures surviving.”

            “I hope so,” I say.

            Jack smiles. “Sometimes, hope is all we have. Hope and trust. We have to trust the Faders left in the past. We have to trust that the sacrifice of all those people wasn’t in vain. We have to trust that the man who was my father for so many years didn’t die for nothing.”

            “I’m so sorry about him,” I say, reaching out to hold Jack.

            “It’s okay,” he says. “If we find a way to get past the Fever, it’s okay. We get past things. We keep going. That’s what people do, Celes. As long as they keep doing that, there’s always hope for the future.”

            “And us?” I ask.

            “I’d like to think that there’s plenty of hope for us too.”

CHAPTER 21

I
t takes a while before we can be certain that our trip into the past has done anything. It shouldn’t work like that. What we did happened thousands of years ago, after all, but it does. It takes us a couple of weeks at least for John to be able to confirm that there’s a weakness in the Fever that we can exploit. A chance of a real cure that grows more real by the day. Pretty soon, we’re shipping out medicine, and then vaccines to stop any related strains before they can start.

            I say we. Mostly, I’m not doing a lot of the science. I’m just involved in the decision making behind it, running meetings and trying to get our government to work the way we’ve always had it working. Apparently, disappearing for months on end did a lot of damage, no matter how hard Rosie and the rest of those left behind worked to keep things going.

            I have to spend a lot of that time assuring people that I
am
Celestra Caine, the woman they voted for. That seems to happen more in meetings with other politicians than elsewhere. With them, I’m meeting with mostly older men and women, so it takes me a while to convince them that I’m not a joke. My meeting with the French ambassador was a long one. Generally though, eventual ch lldely, they get the message. I’m me, the country is running as it was, and if they have any sense, they shouldn’t try to take advantage of the fact that I don’t look very old. Especially not with Jack standing behind me.

            The people are a lot more forgiving. More than that, they seem to
like
the idea of a president who looks this young, while still having the experience for the job. Or maybe they just like the idea of a commander in chief willing to risk her own life to deal with a threat that was going to kill them all.

            It’s still at least a couple more weeks before I’m in a position to order the military to sweep for the hybrid creatures behind the Fever, though. A sweep like that, over the entire country, takes time to set up, especially when doing it in between assuring politicians that I’m still alive and in charge.

            When we finally do it, the results are everything I could have hoped for. There’s no sign of the creatures, meaning that whatever strain of the Fever we have is just a weaker disease that drifted in to fill the gap left by the change in history. No wonder John and his people are having such a good time of curing people now, compared with before.

            I sit in my office contemplating that fact. Jack’s there too, by my side, the way he always is.

            “It looks like the Faders got the creatures,” I say.

            Jack nods, and then smiles broadly. It’s probably the warmest grin I’ve seen from him. “I knew they would. I knew
we
would. How does it feel to have averted the biggest disaster in the history of this country?”

            I don’t know. At least, I don’t have the words for it. Thankfully, Jack doesn’t seem very interested in words right now. He kisses me lightly on the tip of the nose.

            “We should relax. Find a way to celebrate.”

            I can guess what he has in mind, but before we can go anywhere with it, Grayson is in the room. He walks over.

            “Madam President, we have a situation that requires your attention in the grand ballroom.”

            “What kind of a situation?” I ask. What could it be? Something new from the past? Some problem with the Fever? We’ve only just gotten things back to normal.

            “It’s better if you come see it,” Grayson says. “You too, Jack.”

            He leads the way across to double doors flanked by guards, which open to reveal a ballroom set out for dining, with long ta, wce=bles and a vast spread of food. There are people standing by the tables, looking over at us. Obviously waiting for us.

            “Surprise!” That’s loud enough that I cry out in shock at it. I wasn’t expecting anything like
this
.

            Grayson pushes us gently inside. The members of the Cabinet are all there. So are Rosie and John, dignitaries from several different countries, important people from around the United States and more. Some of them look like just regular citizens. That’s good. I always hate the idea of being shut away from ordinary people like we’re somehow meant to be better than them.

            “We’ve been planning this almost since we got back,” Grayson says. “It’s the kind of event that needs celebrating properly. After all, it isn’t every day that you get to save the world.”

            “You did all this?” I ask.

            “Me and a few others. It wasn’t easy keeping it from you and Jack, you know how sharp he is around secrets, but I figured, with how busy you’d both been, you deserved it.”

            A pretty brunette in her thirties comes up to me. It’s Liza, one of the aides who works in the building. “Madam President, I didn’t get a chance to say it when you first came back, but we’re all so grateful for what you did, and so happy that you came back okay.”

            “I’m glad to be back,” I assure her.

            She gestures to where the guests have lined up. “If you’d like to get the introductions out of the way now, we can get on with the party afterwards?”

            “That would be good,” I say. Liza introduces me to a lot of the visiting dignitaries, most of whom I have met before now, often while pleading for help with the Fever. Most of them are a lot more friendly than they were then. Maybe they’ve worked out that, now that we aren’t going to be spending all our time fighting this disease, we’ll be able to concentrate on rebuilding.

            “Now for the civilians,” Liza says with a smile. “They’ve been hand selected, and most of them are very excited about meeting you.”

            “Which is Liza’s way of saying that it’s show time,” Jack says softly. “I’ll see you in a little while, Celes. There are a couple of things I need to take care of.”

            Liza starts me towards the ordinary people, introducing me to the first couple, but Grayson quickly takes over, leaving the aide free to go eat and mingle. He gets me through the line of people I’m meant to be meeting, then as the part actually turns
into
a party, he leads me outside on meee to go eto one of the balconies with a view out over the White House grounds.

            He reaches out to touch my face. It’s something I can remember him doing back when we were running track together, but he hasn’t done it since we got back. I miss that life. I miss that Grayson. I miss a lot of things, including being with him.

            “Celes,” Grayson reaches down to take my hands. “We’ve been so busy recently that I’ve hardly seen anything of you, but the truth is that I haven’t known what to say to you. I know it’s not the best time, but I have to say what’s in my heart. I have to say it, so that we’ll both know where we stand.”

            “Grayson…”

            “No,” he says, “please don’t interrupt. I need to say this. You know we were lovers before all this. And you know I’ve always loved you. You know from when we were back there how good things could be. I’d always wondered that, but I’ve also found myself wondering what things would have been like for us if Jack had still been around. Would it have happened? I know you care about me, but I need to know how much you care about me.”

            “What are you saying?” I ask him, even though I think I can guess.

            Grayson looks a little nervous then. He runs his fingers through his hair, smoothing it out. “I loved every moment that I got to spend with you, Celes, but if there are going to be any more, I need to know that it’s real. I don’t want to be your second best. I don’t want to be the guy you go to just because Jack isn’t there.”

            He takes my hands, kissing my fingers one by one. “I need to know how things stand now that we’re all back here. Now that you have a real choice. You’ve been in relationships with both of us, and both Jack and I are dangling on the hook right now, not knowing what’s going to happen next. Who do you love, Celes?”

            “I love both of you,” I say.

            Grayson sighs. “I know. But you know what I’m asking. Which of us do you want to spend your life with? Do you love me the way I love you? Do you want me more than anything? Will I ever be first for you?”

            Grayson looks so vulnerable in that moment that I want to reach out to wipe away the worry from his face. I want to tell him that everything is going to be okay. Because I do love him. This wouldn’t be such a big deal if I didn’t love him at least a little. But loving him the way he loves me? More than that, do I love him the way I love Jack?

            The answer to that is so simple. No. I don’t. I love Grayson with the kind of warm love that grows from spending so much time around someone that it’s impossible to feel any other way. I want himay.both J as my friend for the rest of my life, but he isn’t… he isn’t Jack Simple.

            Jack makes my heart beat faster just thinking about him. I loved him before I went back into the past. I loved him in the past, not even knowing who he really was. I love him now. I love him with a fire to match the one inside me. I love him, and I know I’ll love him until the day I die. I couldn’t be me and not love Jack like that.

            Grayson doesn’t even need me to say anything. I can see the emotions flickering across his features. Surprise, anger, and finally a kind of resigned sadness.

            “Grayson,” I say, “you’re one of the most important people in my life. I don’t want to lose what you bring to my life, but…”

            “But I’m not him,” Grayson says.

            I shake my head. “No, you’re not him, and it’s him I love.”

            “Faded or not, it seems like there’s no way I can win,” Grayson says. “I guess, if it had to be anyone, I’m glad it’s Jack. If there’s anyone else worthy of you, it’s him. I’ll still be around, I guess, and I wish you and Jack the best. If anyone deserves to be happy, it’s the two of you, but for now…”

            He kisses me softly, one last time. He’s kissing me goodbye and I know it. I don’t know if our friendship will survive this moment. I hope so.

            The tears come then. I can’t stop them. I never planned this, even though I’ve known for so long that it has been coming, one way or the other. I’ve tried to balance the two of them, but that has just made things worse. It’s let Grayson come deeper and deeper into his relationship with me, until I’ve finally had to tell him that there is no relationship. I hate myself right now.

            “It’s okay,” Grayson says, and I hug him, holding him close. Wanting to say that everything is the way he wants it to be, but knowing that I can’t.

            Eventually, I have to pull back. We both do, even though it might be the last time we hold one another like that. I look up… and that’s when I see Jack standing there, watching us.

            “Jack!”

            It’s too late. He turns and stalks from the room without a word.

EPILOGUE

T
wo days. Two days, and I somehow can’t manage to sit down and talk with Jack. I’m the President of the United States of America. I can arrange sit down meetings with almost any leader on the planet. I
have
meetings arranged with half of them, mostly about the way my country is going to be going in the wake of the Fever crisis. All that, yet somehow, I can’t manage to talk to the one person I really need to.

            A lot of that is up to Jack. I couldn’t catch him when he left the party. He slipped through the room too fast, leaving me to be slowed down by people demanding “just a minute” of my time. Since then, he has been… gone. He hasn’t disappeared, exactly, but he never seems to be there. Whenever I’ve gone looking for him, he’s been out on a trip to assess the damage or the rebuilding efforts. For a man whose job is meant to be at my side, he’s suddenly gone from it a lot.