Read Festival of Shadows Online
Authors: Michael La Ronn
Festival of Shadows (16 page)
“Keep dreaming, teddy!”
“I said give me your arm.”
Ludwig laughed, but Theo moved quickly. He grabbed Ludwig’s arm, yanked it off and hit him over the head with it.
“Thanks.”
Ludwig tried to get up, but the big baby stomped over and sat on him.
“Baby doesn’t like you,” the halibut said.
Ludwig struggled under the baby and then groaned.
Theo plucked off Ludwig’s pointer finger and threw the rest of the arm back at him. “Change of heart.”
He left the bar as everyone cheered at him.
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“Tweedle-dumming—”
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“Tweedle-dumming, pickled earthworm pooper?” the halibut asked, scratching his head. “First, what does tweedle-dumming mean? Second, where the heck do you get pickled earthworms? Third, I just don’t get why you’d be pooping them out. Your visuals are nasty, buddy. That was a colossal failure. You made Baby really mad.”
The big baby grabbed Theo by the neck, stomped over to the door, and tossed him out of the tavern.
“And stay out!” Ludwig said as the baby slammed the door.
“Ouch,” Theo said, sitting up.
So much for stealing the key.
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“Tweedle-dumming caddywhompus?” the halibut said, chuckling. “I don’t know what you just said, but it was hilarious. Baby agrees.”
The big baby laughed so hard that he fell off the bar.
“We have a winner!” the halibut yelled, holding up Theo’s hand.
“I want a rematch!” Ludwig said, stomping up and down.
“Give me your arm,” Theo said.
“Keep dreaming, teddy!”
“I said give me your arm.”
Ludwig laughed, but Theo moved quickly. He grabbed Ludwig’s arm, yanked it off and hit him over the head with it.
“Thanks.”
Ludwig tried to get up, but the big baby stomped over and sat on him.
“Baby doesn’t like you,” the halibut said.
Ludwig struggled under the baby and then groaned.
Theo plucked off Ludwig’s pointer finger and threw the rest of the arm back at him. “Change of heart.”
He left the bar as everyone cheered at him.
SORRY!
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“Tweedle-dumming tweedle-dweeb?” the halibut asked. “Well, it’s certainly not the worst insult I’ve ever heard. It’s good enough for Baby.”
The big baby laughed so hard that he fell off the bar.
“We have a winner!” the halibut yelled, holding up Theo’s hand.
“I want a rematch!” Ludwig said, stomping up and down.
“Give me your arm,” Theo said.
“Keep dreaming, teddy!”
“I said give me your arm.”
Ludwig laughed, but Theo moved quickly. He grabbed Ludwig’s arm, yanked it off and hit him over the head with it.
“Thanks.”
Ludwig tried to get up, but the big baby stomped over and sat on him.
“Baby doesn’t like you,” the halibut said.
Ludwig struggled under the baby and then groaned.
Theo plucked off Ludwig’s pointer finger and threw the rest of the arm back at him. “Change of heart.”
He left the bar as everyone cheered at him.
SORRY!
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“I’m a bass-faced jack-o’-lantern?” Ludwig asked. “What kind of insult is that?”
The big baby frowned.
“Not good,” the halibut whispered to Theo. “Halloween is Baby’s favorite holiday. He was a pumpkin last year.”
“Crap.”
Ludwig took a swig of apple juice and burped. “If I’m a bass-faced jack-o’-lantern, you’re a piddly milk monger!”
Laughter filled the bar, and everyone looked at Theo for a response.
Theo balled his fists. “Well, um . . .”
“You’re a—”
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“Barnacle-eyed—”
“Barnacle-eyed pea for brains, eh?” the halibut asked. “That’s the first decent insult I’ve heard all night. Baby can’t stop laughing!”
The big baby laughed so hard that he fell off the bar.
“We have a winner!” the halibut yelled, holding up Theo’s hand.
“I want a rematch!” Ludwig said, stomping up and down.
“Give me your arm,” Theo said.
“Keep dreaming, teddy!”
“I said give me your arm.”
Ludwig laughed, but Theo moved quickly. He grabbed Ludwig’s arm, yanked it off and hit him over the head with it.
“Thanks.”
Ludwig tried to get up, but the big baby stomped over and sat on him.
“Baby doesn’t like you,” the halibut said.
Ludwig struggled under the baby and then groaned.
Theo plucked off Ludwig’s pointer finger and threw the rest of the arm back at him. “Change of heart.”
He left the bar as everyone cheered at him.
SORRY!
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“Barnacle-eyed stinky butter stick, eh?” the halibut asked.
Everyone in the bar snickered.
“He said stinky . . .”
“Stinky! Heh heh.”
“I can’t believe he said that. So brave!”
Ludwig looked around at everyone whispering, and he threw his sippy cup to the floor. “Arrrgh!”
The big baby laughed so hard that he fell off the bar.
“We have a winner!” the halibut yelled, holding up Theo’s hand.
“I want a rematch!” Ludwig said, stomping up and down.
“Give me your arm,” Theo said.
“Keep dreaming, teddy!”
“I said give me your arm.”
Ludwig laughed, but Theo moved quickly. He grabbed Ludwig’s arm, yanked it off and hit him over the head with it.
“Thanks.”
Ludwig tried to get up, but the big baby stomped over and sat on him.
“Baby doesn’t like you,” the halibut said.
Ludwig struggled under the baby and then groaned.
Theo plucked off Ludwig’s pointer finger and threw the rest of the arm back at him. “Change of heart.”
He left the bar as everyone cheered at him.
SORRY!
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“Barnacle-eyed candle nose?” the halibut asked. “I love the visual, but baby doesn’t get it.”
The big baby grabbed Theo by the neck, stomped over to the door, and tossed him out of the tavern.
“And stay out!” Ludwig said as the baby slammed the door.
“Ouch,” Theo said, sitting up.
So much for stealing the key.
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“Diaper-sniffing—”
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“Diaper-sniffing peach face, eh?” the halibut asked. “I love the way you put words together. Baby does, too.”
The big baby laughed so hard that he fell off the bar.
“We have a winner!” the halibut yelled, holding up Theo’s hand.
“I want a rematch!” Ludwig said, stomping up and down.
“Give me your arm,” Theo said.
“Keep dreaming, teddy!”
“I said give me your arm.”
Ludwig laughed, but Theo moved quickly. He grabbed Ludwig’s arm, yanked it off and hit him over the head with it.
“Thanks.”
Ludwig tried to get up, but the big baby stomped over and sat on him.
“Baby doesn’t like you,” the halibut said.
Ludwig struggled under the baby and then groaned.
Theo plucked off Ludwig’s pointer finger and threw the rest of the arm back at him. “Change of heart.”
He left the bar as everyone cheered at him.
SORRY!
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“Diaper-sniffing latex licker?” the halibut asked, scratching his head. “I don’t know. It just doesn’t have that lilt like an insult should. Baby is not happy with you right now.”
The big baby grabbed Theo by the neck, stomped over to the door, and tossed him out of the tavern.
“And stay out!” Ludwig said as the baby slammed the door.
“Ouch,” Theo said, sitting up.
So much for stealing the key.
SORRY!
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“Diaper-sniffing gas passer?” the halibut asked. “Oh man, that was awesome!”
The big baby laughed so hard that he fell off the bar.
“We have a winner!” the halibut yelled, holding up Theo’s hand.
“I want a rematch!” Ludwig said, stomping up and down.
“Give me your arm,” Theo said.
“Keep dreaming, teddy!”
“I said give me your arm.”
Ludwig laughed, but Theo moved quickly. He grabbed Ludwig’s arm, yanked it off and hit him over the head with it.
“Thanks.”
Ludwig tried to get up, but the big baby stomped over and sat on him.
“Baby doesn’t like you,” the halibut said.
Ludwig struggled under the baby and then groaned.
Theo plucked off Ludwig’s pointer finger and threw the rest of the arm back at him. “Change of heart.”
He left the bar as everyone cheered at him.
SORRY!
You didn’t make a selection. Go back to the previous page. Otherwise, you may get lost.
“Tweedle-dumming—”
SORRY!
You didn’t make a selection. Go back to the previous page. Otherwise, you may get lost.
“Tweedle-dumming, pickled earthworm pooper?” the halibut asked, scratching his head. “First, what does tweedle-dumming mean? Second, where the heck do you get pickled earthworms? Third, I just don’t get why you’d be pooping them out. Your visuals are nasty, buddy. That was a colossal failure. You made Baby really mad.”
The big baby grabbed Theo by the neck, stomped over to the door, and tossed him out of the tavern.
“And stay out!” Ludwig said as the baby slammed the door.
“Ouch,” Theo said, sitting up.
So much for stealing the key.
SORRY!
You didn’t make a selection. Go back to the previous page. Otherwise, you may get lost.
“Tweedle-dumming caddywhompus?” the halibut said, chuckling. “I don’t know what the heck you just said, but it was hilarious. Baby agrees.”
The big baby laughed so hard that he fell off the bar.
“We have a winner!” the halibut yelled, holding up Theo’s hand.
“I want a rematch!” Ludwig said, stomping up and down.
