Authors: Jordan Silver
Needless to say
nana descended on me like the Red Baron on a British bomber it took her ten
minutes to defuse the situation with her sneaky ass; it went something like
this.
"Nana,
what are you doing here? I didn't know you were coming."
"Humph, of
course you didn't boy it's a surprise, where's your wife?"
"She just
went down for a nap, the babies are making her tired." I smiled like a
proud father to be.
"So you're
a man now with a family on the way, you happy?"
"Very
happy nana."
" You have
all you could want in life?"
"Pretty
much yeah."
"So you'll
give up this need for revenge?"
"Nana..."
"Do you
remember going to church with me when you were younger?"
Oh boy.
"Yes I
do..."
"Do you
remember anything you learned?"
"Some!"
Okay I have to admit I was squirming in my seat, where was she going with this?
"Vengeance
is mine says the Lord."
Well damn, she
pulled the high card.
It's been three
days since nana's visit, life is good I'm happy my wife is happy and all's
right in my mother-fucking world. My thirst for revenge isn't burning as bright
as it once was don’t get me wrong it’s still there I still want their blood in
my fucking throat but I had a lot of good shit to look forward to and that goes
a long way in tempering the fire.
So imagine my
surprise when I got a phone call telling me to watch one of the leading
entertainment shows on that evenings' broadcast.
I was mad as
fuck thinking these fucks were looking to fuck with my life again, but this
caller would've given me a heads up.
The program
started out with the promise of a surprising exclusive and a parental control
warning.
The fuck?
After like five
hundred fucking commercials selling everything from dog food to detergent they
were back.
I didn't tell
Butterfly about this shit because I didn't know what the fuck was in store for
me so I'm sitting in my media room while I have her cloistered away in our
master bath relaxing in some bubbles.
The segment
opened with some pretty graphic pictures of O’Reilly and the Pooles, all of
them in what we'll call...compromising positions. Geez.
This shit is
fucked, let's just say there was a dog involved, nasty fucks.
In the
background running on a loop could be heard conversations between the parties
involved all except Humphreys who was implicated by the others.
On the tape
Poole could be heard lamenting the fact that he never got the chance to fuck my
wife. Sick twisted perverted fuck.
The wife was
not too happy about the missed opportunity to come up in the Wood, not to
mention the fact that her husband had been photographed with a much younger and
much prettier starlet all for nothing.
O’Reilly was
more concerned about the mystery person who was claiming to know what they'd
done. Go Derrick.
The video
jumped to footage from earlier that day of the three of them being arrested in
different locations. The charges varied from indecent behavior to cruelty to
animals, and those were just for what was captured on film. They also threw in
defamation of character, fraud and a whole slew of shit that I didn't know what
the fuck.
The fucks all
cried violation of privacy but the damage was done even if they got off lightly
in a court of law, they were done in the Wood.
Two weeks later
we received a bouquet of white roses for her and a bottle of Dom for me the
note said, Enjoy your life, cousin J.
Well fuck me.
Six years
later...
Six years and
five kids later and we're still going strong the triplets Gage Michael,
Christian Blade, and Gabriel Sebastian were joined eleven months later by Jason
and Ashley the twins.
It seems my
swimmers only did multiples, Suzette was making noises about one more, I was
satisfied with my cache, but she pretty much gets what she wants outta me.
School starts soon
and since the kids aren't even a year apart they'll all be starting together in
one capacity or another.
Suzette's
decided to take things easy on the career front, she wants to be front and
center for all their little school activities since her mom was never there for
hers, she doesn't want them to miss out.
Of course me
being the number one mother-fucking dad I have to do my part, so we decided on
one movie a year each, preferably together, but definitely when the kids can
join us on set, which means we'll be working around them.
My boys are
rough and tumble and their older cousin Jonathan, Brian and Connie's one and
only teaches them all the shit he knows. I've been at the wrong end of many a
prank instigated by that one.
We bought a
bigger house obviously, Rex's big as fuck and we got him a girlfriend a couple
years ago to keep him company, this place is a mother-fucking madhouse it's a
zoo.
Five kids two
dogs a hamster rat fuck, some goldfish and my princess wants a kitten. Fuck me.
Who would've thought we'd ever get here?
"What are
you thinking about so hard in here?"
My girl was
looking all kinds of ripe, I know what she was up to she wanted me to plant
another one in her.
"Nothing,
just reminiscing about the past few years, where're the monsters? It's way too
quiet out there."
“The boys are
building something or other with their new building set Derrick got them and
Ashley's waiting for you to have your tea party." She sat on my lap and of
course she could feel my want for her. She raised her eyes at me while grinding
into my crotch.
"Hmmm,
somebody's sure happy to see me." I kissed her long and hard putting
everything I felt for her in it.
"Thank you
baby." I held my whole world in my hands.
"What
for?" she wrinkled her brow.
"For
making me the happiest mother-fucker alive."
"Gage and
Suzette Maddox are on the red carpet once again folks, it's hard to believe
that just a little over six years ago this couple was facing one of the darkest
periods any couple could face and now look at them. How many kids do they have
now Julia, is it five or six?"
"I think
that's number six she's carrying."
"I guess
that proves that all the rumors of false reconciliations and studio high jinx
were unfounded, I don't know about the rest of you folks but six kids in as
many years says committed relationship to me. Let's go have a chat with the
ever private duo."
"Fuck this
noise, why are we doing this again butterfly?"
"Because
it's work, now smile baby, before tomorrow's headlines say we hate each other
and can't stand to be around one another."
"Like I
give a fuck what these assholes think, you think the kids are doing okay?"
I worry about my kids so sue me I hate leaving them alone while we have to go
to one of these stupid things. The family is great about watching over them
because I still don't trust strangers around my family my old housekeeper and
her daughter are the only exceptions.
She squeezed my
waist as she smiled up at me.
"Yes papa
bear, the babies are fine."
"What
about this one?" I laid my hand on the bulge of her protruding stomach.
"She's on
a roller coaster ride, hasn't been still since we got out of the car."
I gave her poor
abused tummy a rub and then removed my hand, didn't want to give the California
condors too much fodder. Usually I would've had a little chat with my baby girl
and tell her to take it easy on mommy, but if I put my lips anywhere near her
stomach in this crowd that shit would be all over the world tomorrow. That shit
was private, they'd taken enough of our private moments they weren't getting
anymore.
"One hour
and then we bounce I promised my little princess a bedtime story the way only
daddy can do it, with all the voices and everything."
She snickered
at my imitation of our daughter, my little girl was a daddy's girl through and through
stick her in a room with all the adults in the family and she gravitated to her
daddy each and every time, though Suzette tried cheating sometimes, bribing her
with treats, my baby girl would take the sweets from mommy and run back to her
daddy.
My boys are pre
convict, no joke it's going to be a full time job keeping their little asses
out of jail when they grow up. The oldest one, junior, he's the ringleader he
learned everything he knows from his cousin Jonathan, who learned everything he
knows from Brian, need I say more? I'm thinking of putting my butterfly in an
induced coma during their teen years just to save her the aggravation.
"You know
I know about the stink bombs right?"
"What
what're you talking about?" I pulled on my collar it was getting tight all
of a sudden.
"Your son
ratted you out." She had the nerve to laugh at such blasphemy.
"Who,
which one? And besides I'm innocent don't know what you're talking about
lady."
"Uh huh,
when they start getting into trouble at school you'll see."
"Why do
you always blame me? Your kids are little terrors you know."
"Oh yeah
did they go on the Internet and order the stuff to make them?"
"You ever
seen that E*TRADE commercial? Who knows what the fuck they get up to after
we're in bed. Who snitched?"
"Gabe."
She laughed at my wounded look, I thought for sure it would've been Jason the
youngest boy not Gabriel, okay he was the baby of the trips but he was still
older than Jace, damn I'm gonna have to have a talk with him about sharing tree
house secrets.
"Okay,
what did you do with them?"
"You'll
never know." She folded her lips and zipped.
My girl has
come a long way, before these red carpet things used to freak her out, I found
that if I kept her mind occupied with talk of the kids it went easier for her,
and me too. People were still calling me a sap; I'd lost some of my fan base
and gained some in return so no worries. I guess some people didn't understand
love, fuck ‘em. I'd rather have their hate than lose our love I win.
"Maddox,
over here." The glare of the flashing cameras penetrated again, for a
while I'd almost forgotten they were there. James and his crew of hand picked
security detail surrounded us as we walked the line.
I’d come a long
way too from those dark days, I’m glad as fuck I followed my heart and not my
pride, I wouldn’t trade a minute of the last six years for anything.
“I love you
butterfly.”
She smiled up
at me and squeezed my hand in hers.
“I love you
more.”
THE
END
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