Rach turned her face to look out the patio door to the tiny back yard. Her heart pounded in her chest. “I’d like to come back.”
“It’s about damn time. I’ll see you next week.” Rach could hear the smile in her old boss’s voice and was relieved.
When Rach hung up she smiled for the first time in days. A heavy weight lifted from her chest and she floated to the living room. She sat down on the couch and hugged Tally close, tears of relief and happiness falling silently down her cheeks. “It’s going to be all right, Tally. So what if I don’t have Craig. I have my dream job back.” She knew it would take time to forget him, but jumping back into her work would eventually help her do just that.
Chapter Forty-Three
Rach’s first day back at HHS was a blur. She remembered walking into the office and being greeted with hugs and handshakes from familiar people and kind smiles from the new staff members she didn’t know. She’d been given her old office which had been vacant since she’d left and sitting there, behind the scarred desk—she was finally at home.
For the first time in six months, Rach didn’t feel lost anymore.
After donuts and coffee with the gang and relaying all the exciting information about her time away from HHS—she’d left out the yard war, the yard vandalizing, and Craig—she’d escaped to her office, feeling absolutely radiant.
She supposed if she’d gone immediately back to working for HHS she might never have realized how much she really needed this career in her life. She supposed the long list of occupations she’d had in the last few months was the final proof she needed that casework was the only thing she wanted to do at this point in her life. Maybe she’d stay with casework or maybe she’d go on to get her psychology degree, either way helping people was the only thing she cared to do. The only thing she was really good at.
On her desk sat a manila folder and she opened it, curious.
A note from Andrea sat on the top of the stack of papers and she read through it.
Dear Rach,
I knew you would be back and everyone here at the office has been waiting for you to return to kick ass and take names. If you remember correctly I was only here two years when you showed up and you reminded me a lot of myself. I could see the love you had for the job, the seriousness you put into every case.
While you were here you shined as caseworker. You proved to not only have a heart but a good head on your shoulders. I think in our line of work we can only succeed if we’ve got both.
You were right back then about the woman not being ready to take her children back. I knew that only after it was too late—but you knew it right away. And we didn’t listen. I didn’t listen. I will never again second guess you and I swear to you, if you tell me you feel strongly about something, I WILL listen.
This case is a special one and I’m giving it to you because I know you will be the only one who can manage it as it should be managed. I thought of you when I first read the file, and oddly enough, twenty minutes later, you called to tell me you wanted to return.
This was meant for you—it’s fate. Good luck.
Andrea
Rach wiped the tears off of her face and set the letter aside. She read the opening lines:
Two-year-old boy and four-year-old girl taken from their father on November 13, 2010. Plan of action: possible reunification pending case review.
She closed the folder, took a deep breath, and closed her eyes. When her heart had calmed and her hands were steady again, she reopened the file and got to work.
Chapter Forty-Four
Peering through the peephole in her front door, Rach’s heart beat rapidly in her chest. The pizza box from her favorite pizzeria made her think,
Craig.
She stepped back from the peephole, her hand lightly resting on the door handle. Should she open the door and jump into his arms? It’s what she wanted to do. But a part of her also wanted to rip into him, punish him for the turmoil he’d caused.
She blamed her mixed emotions on mental and physical exhaustion. Her first week back to work, and she’d stayed late every evening. She wasn’t certain if she wanted to rip into him or just jump into his arms.
“Oh, it’s you.” She sighed dejectedly and stood back to let Leah in.
“I don’t know how I should feel about that greeting.” Leah smiled and set the pizza box down onto the coffee table. She threw a light blue jacket on the couch. “I brought pizza to celebrate. Usually you hug me when I bring pizza.”
Rach smiled and gave her a hug. “I know. I’m sorry. I just thought...”
“You thought I was Craig.”
“No,” Rach denied quickly. There wasn’t even a little guilt at the lie. Sometimes little white lies were necessary to keep the sanity. Even if all present knew it for what it was—untrue.
She sat down on the ugly beige carpet and pulled the box close, taking in a deep whiff of cheese and sauce. Leah sat down beside her and handed Rach a paper plate from inside the take-out bag.
Rach had been crazy to think it might be him at her door. It’d been weeks since the incident at his house and he’d stopped calling after four days of her not answering. She shoved her face full of pizza in an attempt to forget his existence. Though the pizza was wonderful with all the oozing cheese and extra sauce, it didn’t erase Craig’s memory.
“You gonna let me have some of that?” Leah asked with lifted brows and Rach pushed the box her way. “How was work?”
Rach smiled, thinking of the amazing people in her office—
my office!—
and said, “It was great. I’m so happy I’m back.”
Leah reached out and gave her a one-armed hug. “I knew you’d go back eventually. It’s always been your dream to work there. I mean, I remember when we were in high school and every year you made me volunteer at that women’s shelter and I complained about it every time. But you, your eyes lit up just being there and the way you were able to talk with those people...you made them feel better. It was like your company made magic happen for them, gave them hope. It was amazing to watch.”
“I can’t believe it took me so long to realize I wasn’t happy because I wasn’t there. I was so stupid for so long.” She shook her head, annoyed with herself. Between bites she said, “So stupid about a lot of things.”
Leah cleared her throat and put down her slice on the top of the box. “Yes, about that.”
By the tone in Leah’s voice, she knew this conversation was about Craig. Her stomach did flip-flops. “
Yes
?”
She brushed her hands off on her jeans and sat up on the couch so that she looked down at Rach. She cleared her throat again. “I spoke with Craig.”
“And is he still alive or did you strangle him?” Rach asked, hoping to sound less interested in the answer than she was. She held her breath waiting for Leah’s answer.
Leah laughed nervously and fiddled with the key ring on her lap. “He’s still breathing.” Rach’s slight look of disappointment made Leah sit up straighter. “But don’t worry, I really let him have it.”
“With a tire iron?” Rach asked humorlessly. It wasn’t that she wanted Craig to bleed, physically, but a little pain and some mental anguish would have been nice.
“No, with my words.”
Rach raised her brows at Leah. There was no way she could imagine Leah letting anyone have it “with her words.” Leah was too soft, too forgiving, too understanding. “I’m sure you did.”
Leah patted the seat next to her. “I think you might want to hear this.”
Rach went to sit beside her, more out of curiosity than anything else. “And…”
“And I think you should know what really happened. Craig might have been a dumbass for point five seconds, and apparently that’s all he needed for things to go to hell, but he really cares about you.”
Rach didn’t like the way her heart leapt at that statement and she pushed back any hopeful feelings trying to surface. “Right, I’m sure he was really thinking about me when that tramp had her hand in his pants.”
“Yeah...well, that’s what I need to explain. Just listen and tell me what you think afterward. But Rach?” Her eyes stared at her with a serious twinkle to them.
“Yes?”
“Keep an open mind. Because you know when it comes to you I’m very protective, as protective as you are of me, so you should trust me here. I think you need to give him a second chance. You know I wouldn’t say that if I didn’t mean it,” she reasoned. Because she was right, Rach only nodded. And Leah told her the story.
Chapter Forty-Five
It wasn’t that Rach was insensitive or unimaginative. She’d listened to the story about Maggie the Tramp with an open mind. She even pitied Craig for being so intent on the success of his company that he’d whored himself out for it. In the end, she understood why he’d done it. But she wasn’t ready to forgive him.
She’d been pleased to hear that Maggie had been fired. Wasn’t surprised that Maggie had hacked into Craig’s voicemail and email. Clearly, the scene in Craig’s office had been planned; Maggie had gotten what she wanted. But Craig had made it too easy for her and Rach was still upset over it.
The way she’d given in to her emotions so easily with Craig despite her reservations scared the crap out of her—and now she was left with nothing, only a broken heart. And now that she’d gone back to her dream career, a career that made her happy and she’d been missing for too long, she had no time for the foolishness of love or lack thereof. Work was her number one priority. She sent Leah away with a message for Craig—she didn’t want to see him and wasn’t ready to talk to him. Not yet; maybe never.
She threw herself into her case and soon one case turned into four and by the end of July she had a full caseload. After months of feeling inadequate at everything, her life was finally back on track. She stayed long hours at the office, took work home with her and stayed up late into the night reading.
There were times when she sat back and thought of Craig and now, instead of thinking of him with a scowl, his memory made her smile. She remembered him standing up on her little ladder hanging Christmas lights at the beginning of April while telling her she was nuts. Missing him hadn’t gone away, but time made the ache easier to deal with.
She’d come to a truce with Mrs. Petska—an unspoken truce, really. Rach kept Tally off her yard and Mrs. Petska didn’t yell at them. At the neighborhood Bridge parties, Mrs. Petska still bitched about everyone’s yard ornaments and Mrs. Jacobs told her to blow it out her ass, and the game went on while a plate of homemade cookies was passed around the table. Rach attended mostly for the cookies, but she’d really grown fond of the women on her block.
On a scorching hot July evening after another late stay at the office, Rach carried her briefcase out to her car and settled in behind the seat. She was beat and an evening in pajamas, pizza and a remote control sounded like heaven. When she turned onto her street and saw Leah’s SUV parked in front of the townhome, she groaned, knowing her quiet night in was about to be ruined. Rach parked and walked to the passenger side of Leah’s car and leaned in to look at her friend.
“Hey!” Leah greeted and dangled a red bandana from her hand, waving it in the air. “I’ve got a surprise for you!”
Rach sighed. “I’m not really up for anything crazy tonight, I’m beat. Especially nothing involving a blindfold.”
Leah had begun to plan crazy things for their outings in an attempt to cheer Rach up and get her mind off of Craig. The week before she’d insisted on doing Rach’s makeup, styling her hair and even picked out an embarrassingly skimpy ensemble for Rach to wear. Before Rach knew it, they were in a crowded club dancing with a bunch of twenty-one-year-olds and sweating their asses off. It had been fun until some kid with googly eyes had latched onto Rach and kept trying to dry hump her on the dance floor. After the second song with him humping her leg, Rach insisted Leah take her home. Yikes.
“It’s nothing crazy, I promise. Trust me?”
How could she say no when Leah pulled the “trust” bit? Rach tugged the car door open and said, “Fine. But I better not get dry humped by a horny college kid or we’re going to have words.”
Leah laughed and turned the key in the ignition. “Nothing like that I
swear.
Now, put this on.”
Rach picked up the bandana that had been dropped into her lap. “Is that really necessary?”
“Yes,” Leah chirped. “Here, I’ll do it so you don’t cheat.”
She thought about asking Leah how she could cheat at putting a bandana on, but she’d already snatched it from her hand and was wrapping it around Rach’s head. Leah tied it tight, catching a few strands of Rach’s hair in the knot.
“Ouch!” Rach protested when Leah double knotted the bandana and ripped a few strands of hair from her scalp. Leah patted her on the leg and Rach said, “If I had known you were going to abuse me, I would have stayed home.”
“This is going to be so fun, you’ll see,” Leah assured.
“Maybe for you,” Rach grumbled. “How far away is this surprise? I might snooze. I’m exhausted.”
“Not very far, but go ahead and rest a little. You’re grouchy today.”
“Whatever,” Rach answered for lack of anything better to say. She’d barely settled in against the seat when Leah slammed on the brakes and Rach shot forward, slamming against the seatbelt. “Hey!”
“Oh, sorry. I’m just so
excited!
” Leah gushed and Rach smiled, and knew Leah was probably bouncing up and down in her seat. Rach reached up to take off the headband, but Leah startled her by screeching, “Don’t take that off!”