Feeling This (4 page)

“I was just playing with you Kimber, I’ve known Jenna since middle school. We were in the same class.”
Well damn. The jokes on me I guess
.

I glance down and check my watch, two o’clock. My attention is elsewhere now. They can sort this junk out. I have a date with my bed very soon. Before I get very far though, Jared calls down the bar to me. I walk cautiously toward him. This night is turning into something out of the Twilight Zone.

He asks when I am directly across from him, “Would you be interested in performing on Friday nights? I think we need one night with someone people can come back to see regularly.”

I’ve suddenly lost my voice. What? Perform each week. Oh wow!

He tells me before I can respond, “I’ll pay you two hundred for the night.”

I nod because that is all I can do. Sing and play every Friday night, how did this happen? I turn to see my sister beaming at me with Derek’s arm around her. I’ll ignore that part for now because this is a small dream come true and I’m going to bask in it.

Chapter Three

I spot my chance half-way into dinner. Dan excuses himself and heads toward the restroom. Not the ideal place to confront him about his daughter and her problems but I have to try. This might be the only time he’s alone tonight. I stand quickly while Susan is engrossed in a conversation with my mom. As I turn to follow her father, their voices suddenly fall silent behind me.
Damn
. I was hoping they wouldn’t notice. Now she thinks I’m going to talk to him about asking her to marry me. I don’t bother to look back. I just trudge on hoping this conversation goes well.

Entering the bathroom, I find it empty, thankfully. Dan is washing his hands in the bowl used as a sink seamlessly attached to the marble counter sprawled along the wall. He glances in my direction as I enter and nods a greeting. Then he averts his attention to the mirror centered on the wall in front of him. My step falters and suddenly my feet stop of their own accord. He looks back with a concerned expression on his face and his voice takes on a startled, apprehensive tone, “Jordan, are you okay?”

I push on stopping only two feet away, “Yes, sir. I ahh, I need to speak with you about Susan.”  It’s suddenly warm and my neck feels too snug. I resist the urge to tug at my tie and loosen it.

The lines caused by his look of concern seem to smooth over as a smile spreads.
Crap, that’s not what I meant.

Trying to fix the fact that he has the wrong idea I stutter, “Um, it’s not about that. I mean I want to ask you and ask her too. I just…” This is going so wrong. Not the way I had planned at all. My hand travels up and runs through my hair. As Susan always says is the telltale sign that I am nervous.

Quickly I lower my hand and put my hands up as if they will help me explain and just blurt it out, “Sir, she needs help.”

He frowns and confusion floods his face. I am so messing this up.

I try to explain, “She has these mood swings. It’s as if she isn’t there during them, she’s confused and I don’t know. I think she needs to go and see a counselor, maybe a doctor.”

I finally got it out. But he just stands there staring at me, still looking baffled. As the silence spreads, worry fills me. What if he doesn’t want to help? They have to see it though, she lives with them. How can they not see it?

After a minute that seems to spread to twenty, he breaks the silence and tells me firmly in a voice laced with a hint of anger, “I think you might be mistaken Jordan. There is nothing wrong with Susan.” As he continues the anger is more evident, “Is this your way of breaking it off with her?” His mouth forms a stubborn line, “I will ruin you if you break her heart.”

If I could have predicted this, I would have decided against eliciting her parent’s help. My heart falls as the realization of his words hit me.

I stammer as my heart beats a million miles a minute, “No, I…No, I love your daughter more than anything. I would do anything for her. I just…she needs help. I don’t know how to help her.”

He holds his hand up halting anything else I might have said and takes a step closer so we are only a breath apart. He stares intently into my eyes and snarls, “There is nothing wrong with my daughter. Don’t you dare hurt her or her mother. This conversation never took place as far as I’m concerned.”

With that he finishes wiping his hands on a terry cloth towel set out on the counter, places it expertly back and turns to exit the bathroom. I am left completely defeated and at a loss. His meaning was loud and clear, don’t let Susan or her mother know that I think she needs help. But how can I not?

My back finds the edge of the counter as I stand there unable to move. I am not going to get any support from her parents because they refuse to admit there’s a problem. But now her dad will never let me marry her, which in the grand scheme of things doesn’t really matter. I just need to get her help. I am losing her more and more. I can’t lose her, she is my life.

Feeling as low as I can but ready to soldier on without any other options, I turn to the sink and splash cold water on my face while taking a deep breath. Making my way back to the table is torturous. As I approach, everyone looks up expectantly. My eyes meet Susan’s unmistakable ones, full of pure joy. I manage a smile and glance up at the other faces surrounding her. Her father’s gaze meets mine and he nods as if we planned something and announces, “I think Jordan has something to say.”

Confusion must pass over my face because he clarifies, “Jordan asked me a very important question in the bathroom. I think he has something to say to my daughter.”

Did I mention earlier about Susan’s dad not having a backbone. Yeah, I completely take that comment back. He has a lot of nerve, there is no doubt about it.
Decision time Jordan.

Grabbing Susan’s hands, I pull her up out of the chair and place the napkin from her lap on the table. I lower myself to one knee and grasp her hands looking up into those wonderful eyes, that gorgeous face I will never tire of and pray that she stays with me through this. Stealthily, I pull her engagement ring out of my pocket. It’s become a habit, putting it somewhere on my person when I leave the apartment, just in case the opportunity arises for me to officially ask.

Taking a deep breath I ask her, “Susan Marie Weller, will you make me the happiest man alive and spend the rest of your life with me?”

My lips turn up as I push the ring onto her finger and finish, “Will you marry me and be my wife?”

A tear falls down her cheek as she pulls me up from my knee and exclaims, “Yes, Jordan, yes.” Her mouth meets mine in a tender kiss.

When she pulls away she hugs me and whispers, “I love you baby.”

I kiss her on the cheek and my eyes meet her father’s across the table. He nods and looks over to his wife smiling as she appraises us. Clapping from surrounding tables rings through my ears. This is not the way I wanted it to happen. I kick myself silently for being so stupid.

Susan steps back telling me quietly with a sly smile, “Well played, Mr. Rhodes, well played. Maybe we can finish that thing after all.” I smirk at her implied meaning, thanking whoever’s in charge up there that she’s still here with me.

Of course, we just opened the flood gates. Our moms needed just that little performance to run with the planning. I’m sure a full blown wedding will now be soon.

As the night continues, guests for David and Bree make their way over to congratulate us, go figure. Bree was the first though, she came and whisked Susan off an hour ago, I haven’t seen her since. I don’t imagine I will, they now have something in common. Well, they already did, but we didn’t share that we were already engaged with anyone.

My parents corner me at the bar as I attempt to get another much needed drink. This night is definitely unexpected.

“Jordan?” My mom’s voice questions me. I turn just as I’m tipping the bartender and take a sip.

“Mom.”

“Jordan, I think we need to talk.” A frown knits itself over her eyes. I’m surprised. I was convinced she was on cloud nine, now that I’ve proposed. She slides her hand through my arm and leads me out of the double doors onto a patio looking out over the golf course beyond the gardens. My dad follows. It’s quieter out here with just the incessant clicking of the turning sprinklers across the course. The moon is almost full, lighting everything, creating shadows that stretch and make everything look long.

Once it’s just the three of us standing against the stone railing, my mom utters her concern, “Honey, I’m worried. I know you love Susan and I know you two have been together for a long time.”

She stops mid-sentence and looks away almost as if she’s ashamed. I glance over at my dad and he looks down not wanting to meet my gaze. What the hell is wrong with everyone tonight? I wait it out. My mom is never at a loss for words. She will eventually spit it out and I probably won’t want to hear it.

“She…Is something wrong with her Jordan?” Now she’s piqued my interest. Maybe my parents have seen it. Maybe they can help me convince her parents.

My words are cautious, “What do you mean Mom?”

“Well dear, we were talking about the wedding one minute and then I tried to ask her something, it was as if she had no idea what I was talking about. She looked confused and then she snapped at me.”

I ask slowly, “What exactly did she say, Mom?”

“She told me it was none of my business and walked away. I have never seen her do that before. Is she, is she stressed or going through something?”

My dad steps up and places his hand on my mom’s shoulder, “It’s probably nothing Jane. She’s probably just overwhelmed with the proposal and Bree’s party.”

I interrupt, “No, Dad, actually I am concerned. It’s getting worse. One minute we are fine, having a conversation and the next it’s as if she’s lost.” I run my hand through my hair, “I don’t know what to do.”

My mom pipes up, “Honey, she needs to see someone then. I can get the name of someone if you would like.”

Looking down, I shake my head and admit, “I tried to tell her dad. He won’t listen.”

I look back up glancing back and forth between them. They are silent for a few minutes trying to think of the best way to approach this. I know my parents have my best interest at heart. For the most part they are supportive in everything I do. My mom is usually the hardest to convince in times like this but I realize, she might be my greatest ally with Susan. She seems deep in thought for a minute before finally suggesting, “Why don’t I have lunch with Rebecca this week and talk to her. She might be more receptive than Dan.”

My dad looks over to me. I can see the pain for my situation in his eyes. He doesn’t like this whole thing anymore than I do.

“Yeah Mom, that sounds great.” I lean over and kiss her cheek, hugging her.

She pushes me to arm’s length and concedes, “I know you love her honey. I promise we’ll figure this out. She is already my other daughter.”

I smile as I realize someone is at last going to help. I’ve lost sleep over this. It feels as if a tiny bit of the weight that has been weighing me down, has lifted. There’s a lot more convincing to do but this is a small step in the right direction.

***

“Jordan, hey, I’m going to leave with my parents.” Susan’s voice sounds tired as I turn from talking to David and Brian.

I stand and take her into my arms. “Are you sure? I thought we were going to finish that thing.” I tease with a smirk.

She smiles warmly and blinks, “Can I take a rain check on that? I just need to get a good night’s sleep.”

“Of course baby, I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” I grasp her arms gently and kiss her softly.

She calls sweetly as she turns, “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

She walks over to her parents and her dad escorts her out putting his hand on the small of her back. He looks up and meets my eyes as I stare over at them, glaring. He turns leading both his wife and daughter toward the exit. I know her dad is going to fight me tooth and nail on this. I watch them walk out the door and turn for the bar again.

David asks, “You okay Jordan?”