Feel the Rush: A Hard Feelings Novel (InterMix) (10 page)

“You gonna make me drop to my knees and beg?” He winked at Meagan.

“That doesn’t sound like a bad idea. I like to see a man beg.”

“Do you now?”

“Gutter, Reed. Out. Of. The. Gutter.”

Reed laughed. “But you make it too damn easy, woman.”

Meagan shrugged her shoulders, putting her I-don’t-know-what-you’re-talking-about smile on as she once again brought that frosty glass to her lips. The froth of the beer fuzzed on her top lip, and her tongue lifted from her lips to lick it off—and Reed watched carefully as she did. If he kept this up he was bound to move from friend status to creep status.

She set her glass back down. “I’m just gonna stay home, though.”

“What?” Eva whined, and Meagan sent her a look that even Reed knew meant to drop it, but Eva either didn’t get the memo or didn’t care. “Stay home and do what? Stare at the wall? Watch our nonexistent TV? Come on, go. I will tag along.”

“That sounds like a good plan to me,” Sanders chimed in. Of course he thought it was a good idea, the guy hadn’t stopped drooling over Eva since she had gotten there. Reed was about ready to suggest he tuck a damn napkin in the top of his shirt.

“Eva,” Meagan warned. Okay, it was Reed’s turn to take a swing at this.

“Come on, it will be fun. It’s got an in-ground pool surrounded by a huge deck, we’re gonna float the river too. Plus, the firework show you can see from the cabin is amazing. It’s the Fourth of July. Come.”

Meagan inhaled a deep breath and bit her bottom lip as she blew it out in a rush of air that shook her shoulders. Yep, Reed was pretty much calling this a win.

She glanced at Eva again then sighed. “Fine, we’ll go. But I have full intentions on staying in that pool the entire time—just to warn you,” she said, sending a knowing glance toward Reed.

“Why you looking at me? I don’t care if you sleep in the pool, just so long as you come with me . . . us.”

She smiled, a sweet one, almost a shy one. Hell, this woman had him in all sorts of knots. Her challenging looks and her sarcasm had him daydreaming about bending her over his bed, but those sweet looks, like the one she just gave him, had him thinking about holding himself above her, slowly kissing that sweet neck. Reed cleared his throat and shifted slightly in his chair.

“All right, just so we’re clear, that means no crazy cliff diving or tree climbing or white-water rafting, just relaxing,” she said.

Sanders laughed. “Dude, she’s got you down solid.”

She did.

Reed ignored Sanders’ comment and instead kept his eyes on Meagan, who was sending him a look that not only caused his dick to twitch in his jeans but also sent a possessive ache through his bones. Never before had he wanted to be with a woman so damn bad, and not just in the physical sense. He just wanted to be near her, close to her, around her. He didn’t know the last time he’d felt this way about a woman. Sure, he’d been in love before, a few times, not that he was even close to feeling that way about Meagan—but he never liked them like he liked her. She was real. She was funny and sweet, with just enough sass. Hell, maybe it was the challenge of it all that had him on edge and ready to snap. Maybe it was because he remembered so well from that night eight years ago the taste of her skin on his tongue and the feel of her wet pussy clamping around his fingers as he bit the soft pad of her ear.

“You can relax to your heart’s content, sugar.”

“What time are we leaving?”

“I’m driving my bike, it’s kind of tradition.”

The blue of Meagan’s eyes nearly disappeared as she squinted and tilted her head to the side, baffled. This woman knew how to read him. She had him mapped out and had figured out the easiest route. Just like last night—she saw through him. Reed was pretty fucking good at locking away the crap that lurked in the deep crevices of his mind, but Meagan, she had a way of slipping through. But he didn’t feel like getting into that discussion at that very moment, so he mustered up as much of a smile as he could, given the sudden brick that slammed against his chest as certain memories lifted to the surface, and said, “I usually ride by myself, but I would love it if you rode with me.”

He could see his buddies’ heads out of the corner of his eye as they shifted from him to each other, then back to him, their eyes trying to connect the dots of the paint by numbers that had suddenly made up Reed’s decision making.

Meagan shifted her eyes between Eva and Reed and started twisting the blond strands of hair at the nape of her neck. “Um, well, I would, but what about Eva? She and I will just drive down there together.”

Hell no, if she was coming, he wanted her with him.

He shook his head. “Nah, Sanders can pick up Eva.—”

“Yeah, you can ride with me and Murano,” Sanders agreed.

“See, it’s settled, you’ll ride with me. We’ll leave around three.”

“Is that okay with you, Eva?” she asked.

Eva winked at her. “Fine with me, babe.”

“Okay, three it is.”

Chapter Eight

Meagan sat her bag down by the front door so Eva wouldn’t forget to take it with them when they headed to the cabin. Ugh, she was not particularly looking forward to this little trip. Okay, so she knew she needed to get out of the empty apartment and do something, Eva was right, there was no point to sitting on the air mattress all day staring at the wall. But she wasn’t in the celebrating mood. She always loved the Fourth of July, it was always her favorite holiday, but not this year. . . .

“Hey, woman, you ready?” Reed shouted as he walked in through the patio door.

“Yeah, I’m in the kitchen.”

Reed walked in and laid on that smile that could probably make a screaming baby stop crying. It was soothing, almost hypnotic. Reed just had this ease about him that was contagious, you couldn’t help but enjoy it.

“What are you doing?”

“Packing food for Eva to take.”

He grabbed the container out of her hand, opened the fridge, and put it away. “I’ve got you girls covered. We’re completely prepared.”

She cocked her eyebrow at him. Somehow the idea of a bunch of men getting everything ready for a weekend away didn’t strike her as likely. “Okay. . . .” she said dragging out the word. “What about chips?”

“Got it.”

“Hot dogs? You can’t have Fourth of July without hot dogs.”

“Already got it.”

“Okay, what about stuff for s’mores? I’ve got my traditions too, ya know,” she challenged, trying hard to keep a straight face, but it was extremely difficult, especially when Reed was smirking with that sexy, lopsided grin—that try-me smile.

“Already taken care of. Give me a little credit, sugar. I’ve spent every single Fourth of July that I’ve been in the states either camping or at a cabin on some lake for as long as I can remember. I’ve got this packing thing down.”

“Yeah, your family does the Fourth up big too, huh?”

Reed’s eyes went a little distant, and his smile faltered. She felt a chill crawl over her skin as his expression hardened. “They used to,” he said.

Meagan cleared her throat and quickly spun around to the fridge, needing a distraction from the apparent distortion that came over Reed—it was more so that
he
needed the distraction. She pulled open the bottom drawer of the fridge and lifted her lips into a smile. She turned around to face Reed, her legs planted firmly apart as she raised her hands to her hips. She nodded her head toward the fridge. “What about these?”

Meagan watched as Reed’s body loosened and he tilted his head to the side. The fog lifted from his eyes, and she was staring again at the perplexed shades of brown and gold and green that had no problem holding her hostage with their riveting colors.

Reed closed the short distance between him and the fridge, his body standing a little closer than necessary as he looked down at the drawer Meagan had pulled open.

He laughed. A good, heavy, thick rumble that started in his chest and bounced from his mouth, saturating the space around her. She was glad to hear it too. “Jell-o shots?”

“Hell yes, Jell-o shots,” she said as she glanced back down to the drawer that was damn near overflowing with tiny plastic cups of vodka-infused Jell-o. “Who can have the Fourth of July without Jell-o shots? I’ve got a few things to teach you, my friend.”

“I like the way you think, woman. Now
that
is one thing we didn’t bring.”

“See, sometimes I’m good for something.”

He stepped back from the fridge and pinned her with a look that immobilized her, petrifying her limbs. The only thing moving was the quickening thud of her heart bouncing off of her ribs. Her eyes shifted upward, easily finding his in the spilt second before he pulled his lips up ever so slightly on the corners. “You’re good for a lot of things.” That sultry baritone accent of his was taking its time rolling over every syllable—and she was beginning to realize he was doing it on purpose. This was his little trick, his signature. Trevor had his wink, Kale had his dimple, and Reed had his accent. Each one used their little trademark move to weaken the stronger female species, casting some sort of spell that caused all rational thought to leave the brain, leaving only the thoughts that seemed to be geared toward anything and everything that had to do with removing clothing. Okay, so basically it was a weapon for temporarily tricking a woman’s mind by her body’s reaction. Smart, clever, and inspiring. She needed one of these trademark moves for herself. And she needed to figure out a way to become oblivious to Reed’s.

Meagan rocked back on her heels, crossing her arms across her chest. “That’s not going to work, ya know.”

Reed’s smile lowered, but only just slightly—he was going to attempt to play the innocent card. “What?”

“Uh-huh. You know what I’m talking about, Mr. Sexy Accent—just let me deliberately speak low and slow. Nope, not gonna work, my friend.”

“You sure?” he said, over exaggerating the arch in his voice as he leaned in close to her.

The back of her hand conveniently found his chest. “Dammit, Reed. Yes, I’m sure.”

A roar of impish laughter exploded from Reed’s frustratingly perfect mouth, causing Meagan to sigh and roll her eyes and shake her head all at once. He was exasperating.

“Come on,” he said, latching his arm around her shoulders and leading her to the front door. “Let’s go.”

***

It wasn’t a long trip to the cabin, not as long as Reed would have liked. This was a trip that always seemed to tip the scale, to shift the so-called balance he attempted to put back into his life to the side of blissful hell. It was a ride that was not only cathartic but one that he resented and loved and needed all at the same time. He took all his pent-up, bitter fucking frustration and just rode.

There was a fraction of a time in Reed’s life when he was complete, when he felt whole. After losing that feeling—that part of you—some people never recover, some people never feel restored. Reed was one of those people. You can’t possibly lose a piece of yourself and expect to feel the same ever again. It was impossible. Pain didn’t work that way. Pain doesn’t heal that way. It heals, but only for small periods of time, because nothing can last forever. It was this time, this moment, that healed him. It was doing this one simple thing every year that made that irreplaceable part of himself feel the shadow of its missing piece. It made him feel closer to the person he once was. It made him yearn for the life he once lived, and it made him crave the love he once had—because there was no other love like family, and when Reed lost that piece of himself three years ago, he essentially lost his family.

This ride was what made him feel the reminder of the joy he once shared with them—it’s where he felt himself the most.

Reed breathed in the thick summer air as the memory flooded him. The same daily ounce of sorrow still bled from his veins, still seeped from his pores, but it was laced with a joy that was numbing.

This year was different from the last two though, and he didn’t know if time played a part in that or if it had to do with the body that was clinging to him. Meagan’s arm pressed into him and brought him to a place where reality wasn’t suffocating him. Where the memory didn’t weave a pattern of regret and guilt. She pulled him to the present—back to now.

Gravel crunched and popped under the tires as Reed pulled his bike up a long driveway that led to the same cabin that Reed had rented for the fourth year in a row. It was one of the largest cabins on the river and it was also built into the side of a hill, making for the best view.

The bike rolled to a stop and Meagan leaned back and released her arms from around his waist. “You said you rented a cabin. I expected a house made of logs surrounded by lots of trees, not a two-story lodge built into the side of a cliff.” She placed her palms on his back and gave him a little shove. “Reed, this is amazing.”

Reed looked over his shoulder to see a wide-eyed Meagan gawking at the house. She liked it, and pleasing her, making her happy, gave him a new excitement that he wasn’t accustomed to. He’d seen his buddies go all romantic and out of their way to do those small gestures that women were so intent on having done for them. He didn’t see the big deal. He understood the need to make the wife or the girlfriend happy, but to take the time to think and plan and execute said gestures seemed like a lot of unnecessary work. But then seeing the elated look that came across Meagan’s face as she looked at the cabin he had rented for them made him understand exactly why they did it. It was a rush. Seeing her happy from something he did gave him a small thrill, and he would do anything for a thrill.

“Well, come on, let me show you the inside.”

Her smile grew into her eyes as she climbed off the bike. Reed swung his leg over and stood by Meagan as she looked at the cabin. It was all beautiful red-cedar logs, with rich oak decks that wrapped around the two levels of the cabin. The fireplace was a mixture of gray and tan and brown bricks, forming a wide, impressive tower that made up the chimney. Behind the cabin were lush woods that lined the banks of the river that could be seen from any and all of the back windows of the cabin. He loved this place.

Meagan pulled her stare away from the cabin long enough to shift her head toward Reed and she gave him a titillated grin as she bounced on her toes. They started up the few steps that led to the front door of the cabin when a large SUV pulled up.

Reed turned around and jogged back down the steps toward the SUV as the driver’s-side door opened up. “Hey, Conner!” he exclaimed as he wrapped his arms around him.

“Hey, bro. It’s good to see you. It’s been way too fucking long.”

Reed released Conner from his death-grip embrace and latched onto his shoulder with his hand. “It has been way too fucking long.”

“Oh, you two act like you never see each other, you just saw each other at Christmas,” Reed’s sister said as she walked around the front of the car. Her hair was cut short, and although Reed was used to seeing it long, he liked it. She had always had a healthy figure, but recently it had been her mission to lose weight and get back to her “pre-baby” body, and Reed for one thought she was getting too thin. He rushed to her and scooped her up in his arms. “Hey, Beck,” he said as he squeezed her.

“Reed . . . you . . . are crushing . . . me.”

He set her feet back down on the gravel and laughed. “Sorry, sis, you’re just too damn skinny.”

Her smile shot out and lit up her eyes. “I will take that as a compliment.”

“Mom and Dad still not coming?”

She blinked slowly and offered him a weak smile as she squeezed his hand and Reed returned an understanding nod.

They weren’t coming.

As much as he had hoped they would show, it wasn’t surprising that they weren’t. And he couldn’t blame them.

He felt a presence closing in behind him and he didn’t need to turn around to know that Meagan had left the front steps to join them, but he wasn’t going to waste an opportunity to look at her. He turned his head over his shoulder and winked, causing her to scrunch her nose in response. It was not a response he was happy about getting—and only because the effect it had on him was not something he wanted his little sister to see.

“Hi, I’m Meagan,” she said, reaching her hand out to Becky as she stepped up next to Reed.

He pressed his lips into a tight line, waiting for the look of death to cross over his baby sister’s face. She was one hell of a woman, and she didn’t like women sniffing around her brother, not that Meagan was doing any stiffing. Something told him that Becky was going to have a run for it with this woman.

Becky folded her hand around Meagan’s and gave it a firm shake. “I’m Becky, Reed’s sister,” she said with a disdain that made Reed angry. His eyes narrowed at his sister. He knew she could be a little tough to the women he brought around, not that there were ever many, but like hell was he going to let her be rude. She dropped her hand from Meagan’s and pointed her accusing stare at Reed—her eyes flinching a little when she saw the look he was returning to her—but she continued talking to Meagan. “And, Meagan, you are . . .”

“Ah.” She nudged Reed with her shoulder and he relaxed a little. “You’ve got a protective sister, huh? I like that.” Meagan looked back and smiled—strangely enough, a genuine smile—at Becky. “I’m just a friend.”

Becky shifted glances between Reed and Meagan, the proverbial wheel spinning in her head as she tried to determine the situation in front of her. Becky’s body seemed to relax some and a smile somehow made its way into her expression. “Okay,” she said flatly, although she didn’t sound completely convinced.

Conner walked up carrying the most beautiful girl Reed had ever laid eyes on. “Baby, I’m pretty sure Addie is ready to eat.”

Becky turned toward her husband and reached out her hands to the brown-eyed baby girl who was nothing but a one-toothed smile and drool.

“What happened to my niece?”

“Six months happened. You finally ready to hold her?”

Reed took off his baseball hat and ran his hands through the short mess of hair on top of his head then put it securely back in place. “Yeah, let me see the little rug rat.” He held his arms out and Becky placed Addie in his hands. His whole body went completely stiff and his arms moved into an awkward position as he held the baby against his chest.

“She’s not gonna break, Reed,” Conner said, amused at Reed’s apparent lack of confidence.

“Easy for you to say, she’s your kid.”

Meagan reached out and placed her finger in the baby’s little hand. “She’s adorable,” she cooed, winning a grateful grin from Becky, who had yet to take her eyes off of her big brother, who probably looked like he was as comfortable as a hooker on a church corner.

“Thank you,” she said warmly.

Reed looked over at Meagan, who was smiling at him with complete adoration.

“All right, Uncle Reed, I think that’s enough torture for now,” Becky said, lifting the baby from his arms.

“Hey, it wasn’t torture, I was actually just starting it get used to it.”

“I was referring to you torturing my poor baby girl, holding her like she was made of glass and carrying the plague.”