Fed Up (28 page)

Read Fed Up Online

Authors: Jessica Conant-Park,Susan Conant

Tags: #Fiction, #Mystery & Detective, #Women Sleuths, #General

BOOK: Fed Up
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When Adrianna slipped the simple silver ring on Owen’s finger, I got choked up and had to pause before the pronouncement. Adrianna and Owen held hands tightly and waited for me.
“By the authority vested in me by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, witnessed by your friends and family, I have the pleasure to pronounce you husband and wife. You may now seal your vows with a kiss.”
And did they ever. Their kiss went on for so long that the guests had to begin a second round of applause. The newly married couple finally parted lips and made their way back down the aisle.
Because this was a small and informal wedding, Adrianna and Owen had decided to forgo the traditional receiving line. They didn’t vanish for professional photographs, of course. Rather, a lot of guests surrounded the couple and snapped pictures outside the tent. Josh wrapped me in his arms, whispered, “Great job, babe,” and then ran off to the kitchen to help Digger and Emilio’s cousins with the food. I had my picture taken with Adrianna and Owen and accepted compliments from guests about the ceremony.
Héctor and Alfonso arrived with trays of hors d’oeuvres, and champagne began to flow. The chairs that had been in rows for the ceremony were moved to make room for extra tables, and within minutes, guests were mingling merrily in the tent and munching on delicious food. I sampled a baby creamer potato with salt cod brandade and Osetra caviar, and then tried Maine lobster with shaved daikon, Thai basil, and pink peppercorn vinaigrette. Outstanding!
I dragged Adrianna away from the crowd for a moment to explore the buffet table, where more appetizers awaited us. “You must be starving.”
Adrianna nodded vigorously. “Famished. God, look at all this! I can’t believe Josh pulled it off.”
I took a small plate and filled it with butternut squash puree topped with shrimp, arugula, and radish, and drizzled with a brown-butter vinaigrette. I took a taste and groaned happily. Individual servings of celery root soup were topped with small pieces of seared foie gras, pickled apples, celery leaf, and truffle honey. The soup was indescribably delicious. Next I tasted grilled tuna served with couscous tabbouleh and tropical fruit chutney with mint tarragon dressing. I was able to identify mangoes, pineapple, tomatoes, and red onion in the delectable fruit chutney but couldn’t figure out what else was in this creation. I’d have to ask Josh. When I heard guests raving about the food, I swelled with pride at my boyfriend’s accomplishments. Ade and I scarfed down food and then got whisked off to have more pictures taken. Every member of Owen’s family had a camera, and every single person insisted on taking plenty of shots.
I barely had a moment to ponder what I had learned about Robin and her knowledge of the lethal foxglove. Just when I thought that I finally had a minute to devote to working out what had happened, large chafing dishes with piping hot entrées began to appear on the tables. Ade and Owen served themselves, and I followed, piling my plate with medallions of beef with cognac; duck in a red wine and orange sauce; vegetable strudels; and a green salad with maple syrup dressing and dried cranberries. I eyed the lamb with grape-chili jam and goat cheese, and the incredible pumpkins that had been roasted with Gruyère cheese, mushrooms, crème fraîche, and bacon. A large chafing dish held a tempting tagliatelle with lobster, yuzu pesto, and exotic mushrooms. Another dish featured a whole snapper with pickled peppers, chorizo, and fennel puree. I knew I’d be back within a few minutes to refill my plate.
I sat down next to Adrianna. “Are you happy with everything, Ade? I can’t believe you haven’t strangled Josh or my father for wearing those crazy clothes.”
Adrianna chuckled. “Well, I was a bit taken aback when I saw Jack and that flipping ugly hat, but he pulled it off and showed me a head of hair full of black goo. He looked so pathetically sorry that I couldn’t be mad at him. As for Josh? Well, I’m pretty sure Owen is responsible, but I can’t be mad at him today, can I.”
“He did try, Ade. I swear! I guess there was a mix-up—”
“I’m not worried about it. I’m having a wonderful time. You were amazing up there, Chloe, and the ceremony was beautiful.” Ade wrapped an arm around me and squeezed. “Another wonderful thing is that my mother has yet to speak to me today. I couldn’t be happier!”
Josh, having freed himself from the kitchen for long enough to sit down, took the chair next to Owen’s. “The food is coming out awesome, huh? Everything good for the happy couple?”
Adrianna and Owen both nodded enthusiastically.
Throughout dinner, people clinked their glasses with silverware, thus prompting Owen and Ade to kiss repeatedly. Naomi, her boyfriend, Eliot, and my sister, Heather, joined us at the table.
Heather happily dug into her plate of food. “Ben is chasing the kids around, so I get a few minutes to actually sit down and eat. Will wonders never cease?”
Heather and Naomi began a debate about natural childbirth. “Listen, Naomi, I know you are trying to help Adrianna, but I have two kids. Drugs are a godsend.”
“I’m sure Adrianna will do what’s best for her and the baby.” Naomi winked at Adrianna as though the two were pulling one over on Heather. “Speaking of which!” Naomi rose from her chair and, raising her glass, accidentally submerged one of her long braids in her champagne. “I’d like to make a toast. To Adrianna and Owen, on the impending arrival of the fruit of their union!” Naomi removed her hair from her glass and took a long drink.
My parents and Josh made loving toasts, as did Owen’s father and Nana Sally, both of whom welcomed Adrianna to the family. Kitty made the best toast of which she was capable: none at all. I watched to make sure that Nelson was filming all of the speeches, as he was, probably because Robin stayed right by his side and kept muttering directions and scolding him for not following all of her orders. At one point, their bickering began to escalate, but Robin had the sense to shoo Nelson out of the tent to finish the spat.
I went back to the buffet table to help myself to the lamb. Then I set my plate down and filled a small bowl with the incredible roasted pumpkin stew. I took a spoonful of the stew. Heaven! Rich, gooey, and cheesy. As I ate, I walked slowly along the edge of the tent to survey the scene and fix it in my memory. As I was wondering whether Robin and Nelson would be able to resolve their differences for long enough to finish filming the wedding, I heard Nelson’s voice and then Robin’s. The two were no distance from me; only the fabric of the tent separated us.
“You’re getting the angles all wrong, Nelson, and—”
“I swear on my mother’s life, Robin, if you don’t shut up and let me record this thing how I want, I’ll blow your dirty little secret. How’d you like that, huh?”
“What are you talking about? You don’t know anything.” Robin was seething.
“Oh, yeah? I know about you and Leo Loverboy. So, now what do you have to say for yourself, Ms. Director? I bet a lot of people would be interested in that. You two have been going at it for months. And having him be the chosen shopper for the show was no accident. You set that whole thing up. So shut your trap about what I film.”
TWENTY-SEVEN
WHOA! The conversation stopped me in my tracks.
Robin and Nelson reappeared in the wedding tent, but I lingered at periphery of the crowd. Robin had been having an affair with Leo. Even though she had no garden, she had bought foxglove, which was not a houseplant. Because of the gardening film she’d made with my parents, she’d known of the nursery where she’d bought the plants and known of their toxicity. It was she who’d chosen Leo as the featured shopper; she’d engineered his participation and thus, of course, Francie’s. Once in the house with Francie, she’d poisoned food that Francie but not Leo would eat. Robin must have prepared the plants in a way that made it easy to slip the poison into the food that Josh had served to Francie. According to what I’d read about foxglove, every part of the plant was so toxic that the preparation would have required no skill. And if others, too, were poisoned? Robin hadn’t cared. If others got sick, or even if they died, so much the better! Francie’s death, instead of appearing to be a deliberate murder with Francie as the victim, would pass as an accident—in other words, exactly what the police officer saw it as when he arrived at the house. What’s more, after Francie’s death, it had been Robin who’d arranged to have me remove Francie’s clothing from the house; Robin had used me to eradicate the traces of her lover’s ex-wife.
Had Leo known of Robin’s plan? Had he known that he’d be the
Chefly Yours
shopper and that Robin was going to poison his wife during the filming? Or had he realized only after Francie’s death that his lover had murdered his wife? Suddenly, my focus shifted to my own safety. As soon as Robin saw the wedding footage, she’d see and hear the exchange between Héctor and me that Digger had translated. She’d learn that I’d been interested in the purchase of foxglove and that Emilio’s cousin had identified her as the buyer. She’d immediately conclude that I was piecing together the elements of the murder.
But I couldn’t spoil Adrianna’s wedding reception. Despite Josh’s eccentric tuxedo, my father’s tar fiasco, Josh’s fistfight with Emilio, the consequent damage to the flowers, and Evan and Willie’s attempted shotgun prank, we had avoided ruinous catastrophes; the ceremony had been beautiful; Adrianna and Owen were now, in fact, married; the food was even more delicious than I’d expected; and the reception was lively and joyous. I would simply have to wait until the bride and groom had left for the evening before I called the police and told the entire story to a detective. Robin hadn’t yet seen the film and couldn’t watch it while Nelson was still shooting. Therefore, no one was in immediate danger. I retrieved my plate and returned to the table to finish dinner. Josh had vanished. In his place sat Kitty.
“You know, darling,” Kitty began, leaning in to speak to her daughter, “I talked to my friend Rhonda the other day. She wants a divorce, the poor thing. Horrid man she married, really, and I can’t blame her. But she says she’ll never leave him because he’s got all the money, and they don’t have a prenup. I guess you two won’t have that problem. You know, fighting over money. No need for a prenuptial agreement if there’s nothing to fight over!”
“Kitty, would you like anything else to eat?” I said in a panic.
“No, thank you, dear. I’m not even sure what half of the food is.”
Bringing up divorce and money at her daughter’s wedding was bad enough, but insulting Josh’s food? Now she had really crossed the line! I saw Ade inhale and exhale through her nose and will herself to ignore her mother.
As dinner wound down, coffee and dessert plates arrived on the buffet tables. Digger and Alfonso lined up row after row of martini glasses filled with a mixture of crumbled ladyfingers, limoncello, and mascarpone, and topped with fresh raspberries. The bright yellow of the lemon liqueur and the red of the berries looked cheerful and celebratory. As for the ladyfingers, I could eat those spongy delicacies by the dozen. In other words, the dessert was bound to be right up my gastronomic alley. A tray of figs poached in champagne, vanilla, cinnamon, and lemon zest arrived with a pitcher of cream. How was I going to make room for everything? Somehow or other, I’d find space.
“Oh, Chloe, look! Here come the cupcakes!” Adrianna pointed to one of the buffet tables.
Ade had decided that what she wanted instead of a typical wedding cake was a cupcake tower fashioned from Sprinkles brand cupcakes. Josh had ordered mixes in red velvet, dark chocolate, and vanilla and had baked a hundred and fifty cupcakes that he’d iced this morning and arranged in a tower. Josh and Héctor entered the tent, both supporting the tray of tiered cupcakes.
“How fun is this!” Ade said happily.
“This was the coolest idea, hon.” Owen rubbed his hands together. “Let’s go cut the cupcake, my blushing bride.”
“Cupcakes,” snorted Kitty. “Whoever heard of such a thing! Childish, I call it. How are they going to cut a cupcake?”
I rose from my chair. “With a knife.”
Nelson and Robin followed the couple to the buffet table. I kept a keen eye on Robin to make sure that she didn’t get close enough to sprinkle the Sprinkles with poison. The bride and groom choose one cupcake from the top of the tower and held the knife together as they split the cake in two. I cheered as Ade frosted Owen’s nose with her half and then
awwwed
as they shared a gooey kiss. I caught Robin forcing Nelson’s camera away from me and back onto Ade and Owen.
When the couple took their seats, Robin threw her hands on her hips. “Nelson, I’ve had it. You are totally incompetent! Give me the damn camera, Nelson! I mean it!”
“Yeah, right.” In showy defiance of Robin, Nelson slowly played the camera back and forth over the crowd.
I felt certain that this time, Robin and Nelson wouldn’t take their fight outside, and I was equally sure that they wouldn’t make peace on their own. To prevent an ugly scene, I stepped in. “Stop it!” I ordered in an undertone. “Both of you! Come over here.” I herded the pair out of the tent and stopped just outside the entrance. I didn’t relish having to chat it up with Robin, but I had no choice; I couldn’t allow the two of them to make a spectacle of themselves at the reception. “What the heck is the problem now?”

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