Feather Light (Knead Me) (31 page)

“And this one is by good old Albert ‘kickass’ Einstein.”

Her laugh was electric, and he couldn’t help but laugh with her, despite the mounting sadness in his chest, making it impossible to breathe.

“
 
‘Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.’

“I’m sure you’ve heard the saying that love is blind, right? Well, I think you can see better than the rest of us. And I’m sure you know by now that I have fallen in love with you. I’ve been hurt before, Parker, and that’s what’s kept me from fully giving myself to anyone. But with you, I feel there is still hope for me. You see, a man broke my heart. I trudged along because he gave me a gift, a life. That life was the reason that kept me going—a precious little girl who brought me unbridled joy. But she was taken from me, too.

“Then you came along, giving everything you’ve got and asking very little in return. You have no fear. You give love like it’s the most natural thing to do. You’ve taught me how to love again, and I’m risking a lot here to let you know that I want to give this relationship everything I have.

“And this one is from me. I’m here, telling you how I feel, naked and afraid, uncertain if you will have the heart to believe me after you find out who I am, which is the secret that I’ve kept from you. I want you to call me after you’ve listened to this. I’m hoping you will as soon as possible, because I’m aching to tell you that I love you and I want to feel your touch as I say the words.

“There is no love greater than the one coming from the heart. And this, my Parker, is coming from deep within my soul.”

Jesus Christ. A beautiful, caring woman had fallen in love with him, and he’d driven her away. Parker squeezed his eyes shut to keep the tears from falling. He really was blind after all. He’d blinded himself with rage and his stupid belief that she couldn’t love him because he had nothing much to offer. She had opened up to him despite her fear, and all he’d done was turn her away without even giving her a chance to explain. With everything she had said, he now realized he’d been wrong about her, and he was nothing but a giant ass.

After conferring with her doctor, Kelly was given the thumbs-up to set her plans in motion. She began by packing two months’ worth of paraphernalia. Production and filming was set to begin for
Cradle of Life,
a story based on a novel about a freelance photographer caught in a moral dilemma of whether she should expose ape poachers in Africa. The story was interesting, but what appealed to her most was the location. The out-of-town filming provided her with an opportunity to mend her broken heart. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect. Two months away from LA was just what she needed. 

The bruises had already faded, and her accident had been forgotten. With the apprehension of Rigor James a few days ago and the possibility he’d serve some jail time, her mind was finally at ease. Thank God, the court had recognized the danger posed against celebrities by overzealous paparazzi. They’d issued a restraining order that would keep him at a distance. That was a triumph for her. A small victory, but still, nothing could ease the gaping hole Parker had left in her.

The stinging behind her eyelids meant her resolve was on the verge of crumbling again. Kelly breathed in and out, just as her hypnotherapist had instructed. She’d had two sessions so far. In time, she’d begun to address her low self-esteem issues. Despite the fame, her self-image had plummeted with each failed relationship. According to her therapist, the subconscious mind had the ability to achieve emotional and physical wellbeing, with a little help. She’d had the answers all along, and all she had to do was dig deeper to find them within her.
 

They’d practiced a drill together that helped her relax her mind and channel all her critical thoughts to give way to reframing the immediate problems and to promote self-awareness. It wasn’t easy. She was a work in progress, but she’d taken the first step just by addressing the issue.

Kelly was looking around her bedroom, taking stock of whatever else she needed to pack, when her phone rang.
 

“Hi, Dave.”

“I just got a call from your lawyer. Rigor James is getting slapped with community service for pleading guilty. The restraining order is in place, so you can stop worrying for now.”

He sounded pleased with the outcome. Dave had been working nonstop to downplay her relationship with Parker at her request. Since he hadn’t been available for comments, she’d seen his brother and employees being harassed to make statements. Cork had declined to comment and had hired a spokesman on behalf of Parker and Knead Me.

“That’s good. What time should I be ready?” she asked, zipping her suitcase closed.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Dave asked. He knew her fragile state of mind and was still wary about her decision to address her relationship with Parker in public.

“It’s going to give me some closure and put the rumors of a romantic affair to rest once and for all. It’s over. I’m moving on.” Just saying the words was enough to make her panic and want to cry. “Don’t worry about me, Dave.”
 

He didn’t sound convinced, but he relented. “If you say so. I just want you to be happy, Kelly. You know that.”

“Yes, I do. Once I’m out of here, it’ll be a different atmosphere, and I can begin to forget. A couple of months away will do wonders, I’m sure.” She tried to feign lightness but failed as a sob hitched in her throat.
 

“Son, you’re a grown man, and your mom and I should be minding our own business, but your brother called us. He thought you might need us to come and talk to you.” His father laid a firm hand on his shoulder.

Parker had given them a key to his townhouse, in case of an emergency. He guessed this constituted an emergency. His parents had let themselves in and found him slumped next to the CD player, where he’d been listening to Kelly’s recording over and over.

 
His mother sat next to him, wrapping a comforting arm around him, but he was beyond comforting. Everything he’d done pointed toward his idiocy, the madness he’d brought upon himself, and his cruel treatment of Kelly. Parker’s emotions were too raw, and he couldn’t wrap his head around everything that had happened to land him where he was now.

“Mom, I-I think . . .” He swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to keep his voice even. “I pushed Kelly away . . . the only woman who ever thought I had something to offer.”

“Oh, Parker. You have so much to offer. Never doubt that. Your blindness does not mean you have to stop looking for someone to love. Think of it as a challenge instead of a hindrance.”

“I think it’s too late . . .”

“Why, son? Why do you do you think it’s too late?” His father’s voice sounded distant. He seemed to be on the other side of the room, tinkering with something.

Parker breathed long and hard and fought the tears. He had no idea where or how to begin. It was hard enough to admit to himself that he’d made a big mistake. “I-I was too rough with her. I crossed the line. There’s no taking back the words I’ve said.” No matter how hard he tried to hold them back, the tears fell.

His parents were silent, as if they were weighing the information he’d shared with them. After some time, his father spoke. “It’s true that there’s no taking back whatever was said between the two of you. But . . . realizing your mistake is the first step toward righting the wrong you’ve done. There is no guarantee you’ll ever get her back. The right thing to do is to address your problems first. You might need to see an expert to talk about your feelings and your fears. That is the best advice I can give you.”

“Listen to your father. We all make mistakes. Some last us a lifetime, but what’s important is doing something about them. You’ll have to forgive yourself at some point. You’ve got to try to move on, and after you’re comfortable with who you are,
then
seek her out. If she’s a good woman, and we can tell she is, at the very least, she’ll listen to what you have to say.”

Pursing his lips, Parker nodded, letting their advice sink in. It wouldn’t be easy, but then,
nothing
had been easy since he’d lost his eyesight.

“I don’t mean to add to your misery, but I have something I want you to listen to, just to reiterate what a good woman she is.” He heard his father flick the button of the television remote. “I connected your laptop to the TV, and we’re on YouTube right now.”

Parker had no idea what was going on until Kelly’s voice drifted around him.

“We were friends,”
Kelly was telling someone.

“Just how close were you? The pictures showed you in a very friendly position. Were you lovers at one point?”

He held up his hand. “What is this? Where is Kelly? What’s going on?” Words tumbled out of his mouth, and he gripped his mother’s hand tighter. The recording stopped.

“That’s a segment that aired on
Entertainment Tonight
. I wanted you to
see
it as soon as Cork told us what happened. Kelly was sitting in front of reporters, with a guy next to her. Don’t ask me how she looked, because it’ll break your heart. She was answering questions about your relationship at a press conference.” His father sounded as defeated as he was feeling.

“Oh God, what have I done?” Parker tried to breathe, but every attempt just produced more tears he couldn’t seem to stop. “Go on.”

“We were quite friendly. But we’re over each other. It didn’t work out.”

Parker heard the sadness in her voice, and his heart wrenched. He could imagine her torment, facing countless people whose goal was to capitalize on her pain, just to get the perfect story—a headline.

“Right here, Ms. Storm. Is it because he’s blind? You lost interest because he doesn’t fit in your perfect world?”

He waited, feeling helpless. Half of him wanted to hear her response, the other was not sure if it would solve anything. He leaned closer.

“First of all, Mr. Davis is perfect. The relationship didn’t work because I let other considerations dictate my actions. He doesn’t fit in because our world is too judgmental for people with disabilities. Second, he is the one who let
me
go. I want to make that clear. Now all I’m asking for is for you to respect his privacy.”

Parker lost concentration when his landline rang. Cursing, he stumbled to get to the phone. He wondered who it could be, since only his parents, Cork, and a few close friends had the number.

“Parker speaking,” he said into the mouthpiece.

“This is Jessica Renoir, Kelly’s assistant. I’m—”

He couldn’t even wait for her to finish. His heart was pounding hard. “Yes, she’s mentioned you in the past. Is Ann . . . is Kelly all right?” 

“She’s fine . . . recovering well from the accident . . . um, but she wanted me to call and tell you that . . . gee, this is a bit awkward for me.” She paused.
 

“Did you say she was in an accident?” Parker gritted his teeth. Sweat trickled down his forehead while he gripped the phone tight in his clammy hand. “Where is she?”

“I can’t tell you that. I’m sorry.”

His face fell. Jessica had something she wanted to say, and he was going to explode if he had to wait a moment longer.

“She wanted me to tell you that she’s not pregnant.”

Parker went rigid at the news. Sadness gripped him, and it took him several moments to regain his composure.