FEARLESS: The King Series, Book One (24 page)

“What if I tell you that won’t be a problem?” I asked.

“Then I’d say you’re fairly naïve, which is about what I’d expect of a seventeen year old girl.”

“But we’ve established that I’m not really your typical seventeen year old girl, and you know, I have more insight into the situation—into my relationship with Michael—than most girls my age would have.”

“You may think you do—”

“Daddy, trust me on this. Michael has no problem with me listening to him, and although I try not to do it—I really do—I’ve heard enough to know that he’s not going to betray my confidence or break my heart.” My face flooded with heat. I hadn’t been yet so frank with my parents about my relationship with Michael, and it was oddly unnerving.

I could tell that they both remained unconvinced. Since I was already in so deep, I decided to go for broke.

“I should tell you that as of last night, Michael’s parents know the truth about me, too.”

My mother groaned and held her head in her hands. My father just sighed again. I could tell he was quickly losing patience with what he saw as my blatant rebellion.

“I’m sorry. I had to tell them. And you don’t know Marly and Luke yet, but please believe me, we can trust them.”

“Tasmyn, this is the crux of the whole issue. You really aren’t mature enough to understand who can or cannot be trusted with a secret that could literally turn your life upside down. You’ve known these people for less than two months.
Two months.
That’s nothing in the greater scheme of things. They could be psychos. They could be completely rational people who just happen to mention to a friend that their son’s girlfriend can read minds, isn’t that neat? And just like that, it’s all over.” My father was becoming more and more angry as he spoke.

“You have no confidence in my ability to judge people, do you? Don’t you know that all these years, you and Mom have been teaching me how to do that? Because of you, I
can
discern when it’s safe to open up to someone and when it isn’t. I know for a fact that even if today I told Michael that I never wanted to see him again—” my heart skipped a beat at even the thought of that, “—he wouldn’t ever tell anyone about me. And I know that his parents love me. They haven’t known me for a long, but they do. And since they didn’t know until last night that I could sometimes hear them think, I feel pretty secure in trusting my intuition about that.”

I paused, looking at my parents for a minute. They were both shaken and somewhat appalled by what I had shared with them. I knew it would take time for them to digest it all and understand what I was trying to tell them.

“I want you both to understand that I love you, and I will always appreciate how you brought me up. I know it wasn’t easy. You faced challenges that most parents wouldn’t be able to handle. And I want you to know that everything you did, all the time you took—it was worth it! I’m able to control my listening, for the most part. And when I do slip, I’m able to discern what’s serious and what isn’t. I don’t make rash decisions and I don’t jump to conclusions.

“But I don’t think you raised me to stay the same little girl who was afraid of what she could do, who was scared to have friends in case they guessed the secret. I think you raised me to be able to go out on my own and live a full life. And I’m telling you, this is the beginning of it. It doesn’t mean I’m rebelling against you. It means I’m fulfilling every dream you had for me.”

The tension in the room had largely dissipated. My mother sat back in her chair and gazed at me thoughtfully. She glanced at my father, and when she spoke, her voice was low but steady.

“You’re right, Tas. We didn’t bring you up to be a hermit, or to stay with us forever. Maybe we just thought that we’d have a little more time. It was hard enough to accept that you’re ready to have a boyfriend, and we were probably pretty short-sighted not to realize that you’d want to share more of yourself with him.”

Now my face was really flaming. “Mom—you’re talking about Michael knowing I can hear minds, right? Because I haven’t, um, shared any more of myself with him.”

My mother laughed. “That is a relief, and it’s also a whole different conversation. No, I meant you telling him. Or him guessing, however it happened. I have to admit, though, that I’m very disappointed that you didn’t tell us sooner about him knowing. I won’t speak for your father, but it makes me feel left out. I’m also a little upset that you’ve been lying to us all this time.”

It was my turn to feel squirmy. “I didn’t really lie to you. You never asked me, and when you asked if I was being careful with Michael, I told you yes. That’s the truth. I was being careful. I
am
.”

“Tas.” My father’s rolled his eyes at me. “It’s the spirit of the rule, not the letter. You know that. You were fully aware of what we expected.”

“And what would you have done if I had told you?”

My mother spread her hands in front of her. “What
can
we do? He knows. It can’t be undone. We have to live with it, and hope for the best, I suppose.” Her tone indicated that she felt more doubt than hope about the situation.

“Your mom is right. But from now on, we expect you to be honest with us. No more secrets. Got it?”

I swallowed hard, thinking of what I hadn’t shared with them about Nell and Amber and our encounter in the clearing. I knew this wasn’t the time to do that, but I hated keeping anything from them. I nodded and forced a smile.

“Got it.”

Sunday was a blissfully uneventful day. Michael took me to Lancer Lake, to our special beach, and we spent the afternoon reading and talking about anything that wasn’t related to Nell or Amber.

That night, Anne called. I had been curious about how Friday evening had turned out for her and for Jim, and I was excited to talk to her.

“So?” I asked, anticipation in my voice.

“So what?” she replied, all innocence.

“So tell!  Tell all!” I insisted. “What happened Friday night?”

“I could ask you the same thing. You and Michael disappeared pretty abruptly. No one knew what happened! We were worried!”

“Oh, yes, so worried you called me right away?” I teased.

“Well…” she giggled. “I have to admit, I slept most of yesterday. And then I had plans last night.” The emphasis she put on the word
plans
made me laugh.

“Oh, do tell!!” I insisted. “All the gory details, please!”

“The first thing I have to say is thank you. You were right. And I never would have known or done anything about it if you hadn’t said something. I don’t know if Jim would’ve gotten brave eventually, but he had no idea how I felt, so maybe not. Can you imagine? All this time, we’ve both been feeling the same way and not knowing it or telling each other?”

“No, I can’t imagine,” I replied, amused. “But what did he do? The last I saw, the two of you were heading to the dance floor, and Jim looked like someone had hit him over the head. He was positively dazed.”

“He was, wasn’t he?” Anne was clearly enjoying this. “We went out there, and at first, I wasn’t sure he was really going to dance with me. He just kept looking at me like he had never seen me before. But then we did dance, and suddenly, when his arms were around me, and we were moving to the music, Jim seemed surer of himself.

“And then he looked down at me and told me I looked beautiful. He said, ‘I’ve been waiting for you to be whole again.’ I asked him what he meant, and he told me that since everything happened with Nick, it looked as though part of me was gone.”

“Oh, how romantic!” I exclaimed.

“It was! So I told Jim that maybe the part of me that was missing was him. I told him I’d hated the way we argued, and that I knew he had been right.”

“And then what happened?”

“The dance ended, and he asked me if I wanted to go out onto the back porch of the Hall with him. So I did, and we talked… and talked… and then he kissed me. Oh, Tasmyn, it was the best night ever. It was more romantic than any time I ever spent with Nick.”

“I’m so happy for you,” I murmured.

“After the dance, he took me out to have dessert at a cute little diner, and then he took me home. I slept until noon yesterday, and my mother told me he called three times. When I called him back, he asked me out to the movies last night. He came over and asked my parents if it was all right for us to date—they’ve known him forever, so it wasn’t like I had to introduce them or anything. And then he took me out, and we had a great time.”

“Anne, this is wonderful.  Oooh, I just thought of something—we could double date sometime!”

“Yeah, or triple date—Brea seems pretty stuck on that junior.”

“And have you noticed that Dan seems pretty friendly with Cara?”

“I did notice that. I guess love is in the air!” For the next hour, we dished on all the couples and potential couples in our little group, and then in the school at large. We finally circled back around to Jim, and it thrilled me to hear how Anne’s voice sang whenever she mentioned his name. Then she changed the subject abruptly.

“So you never told me where you and Michael went Friday night when you disappeared. Was it someplace romantic?”

I hesitated, wondering how much to share. I decided that we had to have some explanation for why Amber would be sitting with us at lunch the next day, and maybe it was a good idea to lay down the basics for Anne right now, as a sort of trial run for the group at large.

“Actually, no. It was more of a rescue mission.” I laughed lightly, to keep that from sounding as grim as it truly had been. “Nell Massler was up to her old tricks with Amber Cole, and Michael and I slipped out to help Amber. Everything’s okay now, but I don’t think you’ll see Amber and Nell hanging around together anymore, and Nell—let’s just say I don’t think we’ll ever be best buds.”

Anne was sympathetic. “That’s terrible for Amber. How’s she doing? How was Nell torturing her this time?” I knew Anne meant that more figuratively than literally, but it was closer to the truth than she knew.

“Amber’s fine. Her feelings were hurt, and she’s feeling a little betrayed, but she’ll recover. I invited her to sit with us at lunch on Monday. I hope that’s okay.”

“Sure, it’s your lunch table, too. We’ll be happy to have her. And speaking of Monday, I have a chapter of History I have to read for tomorrow. I better go.”

After we hung up, I sat for a while, just marveling at the changes in my life. I had Michael, someone who knew all of me and loved me anyway. I had Anne, a friend who actually credited me—
me!
—with resurrecting her love life. This weekend with Amber, I had used the talent that I’d hidden in shame and fear my whole life to really help someone. And I had been mostly honest with my parents and at least laid the groundwork for a little more understanding and independence.

I remembered that last fall, in Wisconsin, I had spent my weekends wrapped in blankets, alone in my room, devouring all the poetry of Dylan Thomas and John Keats. There were no friends on the telephone or dates to the lakeshore. I had been miserably aware that I was different from other girls my own age and fearful that this difference would make me an oddity for the rest of my life. There had been very little hope or optimism within me, and I had struggled to hide all of this turmoil from my parents.

All things considered, I liked this year much bette
r
.

I was jittery on Monday morning, wondering if Nell would be in school and how she would act toward Amber, Michael and me. Michael picked me up as usual, but our ride was much quieter than it normally was.

“So, how were your parents today?” Michael inquired. I knew that he was worried about how they viewed him, now that they knew the truth.

I made a face. “They’re still not happy about all the changes they see in me. It’s my own fault, really. If I had been up front with them from the beginning, they would have had time to process everything little by little. Now it’s all hitting them at once.”

Michael sighed heavily. “I’m sorry it’s so rough on you. Not what you needed after this weekend.”

“Well, maybe not. But I think they’ll come around. I tried to be as reasonable as I could without giving in completely.”

We pulled into the parking lot and walked hand-in-hand to my locker. The walkways were fairly empty; we’d made it in early. I didn’t see any sign of Nell or her crowd, but as I pulled books from my locker, Amber approached us.

“Hi,” she smiled, almost shyly. “I’m really glad to see you. My mom dropped me off early, on her way to work, and I’ve been wandering around, afraid of seeing—well, afraid of what was around every corner.”

“I think you’re pretty safe here,” Michael said. “But you should probably watch your back when you’re alone outside school. Is your mom picking you up today or are you walking home?” I felt the concern that he was trying to hide, and I picked up random scenarios flitting through his head.

“Yeah, I’m covered,” Amber confirmed. “I have a feeling that my parents are going to be a little overprotective for a few days, at least.”

“Overprotective is good for right now,” I put in. “You’ll have plenty of time to stretch the apron strings once things settle down.”

“I guess so,” Amber agreed. “I can’t imagine how bad it would be if I’d told them I was actually in physical danger. They’d have probably shipped me off to boarding school. Or a convent.”

We all laughed, somewhat ruefully because we knew how close to the truth it was.

In French, Cara and I rehashed Friday’s dance. She told me that she had enjoyed hanging out with Dan but assured me that they were just friends.

“I like him,” she whispered as the teacher began the lesson, “but not anything heavy, you know?” I nodded and was suddenly tempted again to listen into Cara’s thoughts, remembering the suspicions I had picked up from Anne about Cara’s feelings for Michael. If she had some sort of crush on him, that could explain why she didn’t want to get involved with Dan. But after the talk with my parents over the weekend, I was determined to keep my motives pure when I decided to use my talents. This would definitely be a selfish purpose.

I was on edge as French ended and I walked to Chemistry. My palms were sweaty, and I felt slightly sick at the prospect of confronting Nell. As I turned the corner of the walkway, I heard my name—not spoken aloud, but thought somewhere near me. I glanced up to see Michael leaning against the building, smiling at me.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, surprised. His Physics class was nowhere near my Chemistry classroom.

“I knew you were going to be jumpy about going to chem. today, so I thought I would hang here, just to remind you I’ve got your back. She might be nasty, but she won’t do anything in front of the class, or especially in front of Ms. Lacusta, I think. Be strong.”

My nerves eased, and I smiled up at him. “You know, you’re fairly wonderful. What did I ever do to deserve someone like you in my life?”

He grinned back. “That’s a topic we can explore later. For now, go on in and deal with Chemistry. I’ll see you at lunch, okay?” He planted a swift kiss on my cheek, so quickly that no one watching would realize he hadn’t merely leaned down to whisper in my ear. Then he was gone, around the corner.

I knew he was right. I was perfectly safe in class. I lifted my chin and went inside.

Nell was in her seat, facing the front of the room. Casey and Liza had their heads together, whispering, but Nell was ignoring them. In self-protection, I concentrated on keeping up my mental wall and sat down behind her.

Ms. Lacusta began class immediately, and thankfully, it was an intense lecture, requiring all my attention and note taking abilities. Although I didn’t hear anything from Nell’s mind, it was a relief when the bell rang and I could leave.

In English, Amber smiled at me as she took her seat, and I marveled at the contrast between what I felt from her today and the Amber I had first met nearly two months before. Despite her underlying anxiety, she was much more peaceful today.

We walked to lunch together after class. Julie DiNardo and Casey passed us, and they both flashed glares of intense dislike at Amber. I half waited for her to wilt beneath their obvious anger, but she merely looked away from them.

Once in the cafeteria, I broke away to join Michael at our table while Amber filled her tray. I smiled at the changes I saw; Anne and Jim were sitting close together across the table, and Brea’s junior boyfriend was next to her. Cara threw me a quick wave as I sat down next to Michael.

He took my hand in his and drew me closer to his side.

“How did it go this morning?” he murmured in my ear.

“It was fine. Just like you said, nothing happened. She ignored me completely.”

“Good. I passed her on the way here, and it was the same story. She didn’t even look at me. Maybe she’s a little embarrassed by the whole thing. You know, now in the more reasonable light of day and all that.”

I snorted. “Yeah, maybe. I don’t think ‘reasonable’ or ‘embarrassed’ are words that I associate with Nell Massler.”

He shrugged. “As long as she’s leaving all of us alone, I’m not going to sweat it.”

I nodded and began to eat some of the sandwich that Michael pushed in front of me. “I don’t trust her. I don’t see her being that easily dissuaded. That’s why I’m going to check in every now and again, just to make sure she’s not still plotting evil and mayhem.”

Michael frowned. “You mean purposefully listening in on her?”

“Not all the time. Just now and then. You know, kind of like when someone’s on parole and there’s an officer to make sure the rules are being followed. I’m Nell’s parole officer.”

Amber joined us just then, sitting next to me but looking uncertainly at the rest of the table.  I turned to include her in our group. As I had predicted, there was a warm welcome from the whole crowd.  Anne was particularly kind, and I could feel Amber’s gratitude. Only Cara looked slightly perplexed by the turn of events. I figured I was in for a grilling during History class.

She caught up with me outside the classroom, right after Michael had left for his own class. I waited to walk in with her.

“So… what’s the deal with Amber?” Cara didn’t waste time with any preliminaries. “I thought she was tight with Nell Massler. Now she’s sitting with us?”

“Long story. Basically, Nell finally pushed her too far, and Michael and I happened to be there for her at the right time. Amber’s had a tough time of it lately, and she needs friends. That’s about it.”

“Huh.” Cara and I sat down and waited for Mr. Frame to arrive. I could feel that Cara knew she wasn’t getting the whole story about Amber, but I chose not to elaborate. My silence provoked her into comment.

“She seemed like kind of a loner, before. When I moved here last year, I tried to talk to her a few times. But she was so quiet, I could never really get a conversation going. She looked completely different today at lunch.”

I shrugged. “Who knows? Maybe she just needed to realize that she doesn’t have to be lonely anymore.”

Cara looked at me with one eyebrow raised, but she didn’t push it any further. Mr. Frame came in to begin class, and I was relieved to have an excuse to turn my attention elsewhere. As much as I liked Cara, I wasn’t entirely sure that I trusted her yet.