Fearless Leader (Juxtapose City) (20 page)

"What the fuck is this?" the short man growled. "Is your boy getting impatient?"

"Yo, Razzy! We got some crazy shit goin' down out here. Get your gun, man!"

At the sound of the voice coming from the other side of the door Razzy lowered the gun with a groan.

"That idiot," he muttered before flinging open the door.

A skinny kid with a green checkerboard pattern dyed into his short hair jumped into the room. "Razzy!" he blurted, breathlessly. "Right on, dude, you got your gun. There's this crazy guy out here kicking our asses and he's like, seriously pissed and he's probably gonna attack you next." The kid paused, wiping a hand across his nose and sniffing. "Dude, thank god you're here 'cuz I need some bad, man. My head's really hurtin'."

"Just shut up for a second, Froggy." Razzy motioned for Calyx to follow as he moved out into the store.

Calyx nearly groaned when he saw the scene. One kid, looking to be about Froggy's age, was kneeling on the ground clutching his wrist to his chest and fighting back tears. Another kid’s face was mashed to the dirty concrete floor as Black twisted his arm up between his shoulder blades. Sammy stood in the doorway, grinning at it all.

"What the hell is going on here?" Razzy demanded. "Calyx, get your boyfriend off of Froggy's friend. The poor kid looks like he's gonna piss in his pants."

Calyx held back his laughter as chocolate brown eyes swung to him in irritation. "Sweetheart, let the poor boy up. No need to be so rough with them. You know I'll let you do whatever you want to me when we get home."

"Shut up," Black muttered. He released the kid's arm and stood up. "No one would have gotten hurt if they hadn't tried to jump me."

"Dude, he was just some guy standing in the dark!" Froggy exclaimed. "We'd never seen him before. We thought he was robbing you or something, Razzy!"

"Yeah, well, thank god you stopped him, huh?" Razzy rolled his eyes. "You guys are idiots. Get in here before you cause any more trouble." He glared at Black who returned the favor. "You too, boyfriend. I want you where I can see you."

Calyx linked an arm through Black's, tugging him along and preventing the man from reaching for his gun. "Come, sweetheart, you can sit on my lap while we talk."

He'd been joking -- he wasn't suicidal, for god's sake -- but after following Razzy's kids into the office he realized that there
was
only one unoccupied seat. Oops.

"What're you waiting for?" Razzy snapped, clearly annoyed after the theatrics he'd just witnessed. The dealer had pushed his chair in front of the safe in the corner and was waiting expectantly.

"Remember this isn't my doing," Calyx murmured into Black's ear. He dropped into the seat and yanked on Black's arm, pulling the other man onto his lap. Black started to buck his way free until he noticed Froggy and his friends watching. Black turned his head and saw that Razzy had paused as well to see what was going on. Darkness was trapped, Calyx realized with delight. Muscles jumped in Black's jaw as he tried to relax on the empath's lap. His spine was so stiff it could have been used as a ruler.

In the corner, Razzy resumed working on the safe and at last spun the dial. From within the safe he removed a handful of tubes before shutting the door again.

"You boys got your money?" he asked, pushing his chair back to the desk.

"Dude, even if I didn't I'd sell my kidney or something to get some," Froggy said, digging into the pocket of his jeans and pulling out a crumpled wad of cash. He shoved it along with his friends' contributions across the desk towards Razzy. "Hurry, man, my head feels like it's gonna pop any second."

Black watched Razzy push across three amber-colored tubes. He knew that the vials contained sheets of Bliss tabs. It took all of his willpower not to pull out his gun and arrest everyone in the room. It didn't help that when he looked up, barely able to contain his loathing, he found Razzy smirking at him.

"It just kills you, doesn't it?" the dealer taunted. "Well if you care for Calyx you'll forget you ever saw this, right?"

Black said nothing. The only words he wanted to speak to Razzy were the man's rights as Black arrested him.

"Hey, Calyx, looky here," Razzy cooed. He waved a fourth tube. "You know what I got in here? I call this my Omega mix. Strong shit. Send you flying for an entire day."

"Hey!" Froggy protested while shoving a tab between his lips. "I want some of that!"

"You can't afford this, idiot. My Omega mix is pure. It'd cost you both your kidneys and a lung."

Froggy scrunched up his face, considering.

Razzy ignored the kid, focusing on Starr again. "For an old friend I'd let you have a free sample." He opened the bottle and let the paper slide out. Two bright green tabs were affixed to the sheet. "Come on, Calyx. One for you, one for me. Just like old times."

Black clenched his jaw so hard it ached. He wanted to grab the tabs and stomp them beneath his boots until they were nothing but powder. Pure Bliss was frighteningly dangerous, so addictive that it pretty much guaranteed that you used it until you died of an overdose. Or until you were arrested for trying to rob a place in order to get the money to pay for the tremendously expensive drug. Fortunately, pure Bliss was difficult to come by. He doubted that even Starr had much experience with it.

Razzy picked up the sheet and waved it. Black realized the dealer was getting off on offering Starr drugs while a cop sat in his lap. Too bad Starr wasn't going to bite.

The legs beneath Black trembled, ever so slightly.

Black tuned out Razzy and the others, his awareness zooming in on the body beneath him. There... another shiver, this time stronger. A hand settled on his hip and he forgot to push it off, concentrating on how the pale fingers trembled against his jeans.

Dread stole over Black as he felt Starr fighting the temptation of the Bliss. How long had it been since he'd given Starr a tab? It was this morning at the funeral, and then nothing afterwards because they'd gone to the firing range. Captain Dickerson's instructions had said that the empath needed at least two small doses a day to keep him from getting edgy and aggressive. Starr was long overdue.

Anger and helplessness washed over Black. He didn't want to feel sympathy for Starr. He didn't. Why should he feel sorry because Starr was an addict and didn't try to fight his own addiction? It was his own fault. And why, damn it, was Black now forced to be his dealer?

It isn't fair
.

But he’d learned long ago that life wasn’t fair. That life was now linked with Captain Dickerson’s and for that reason alone Black couldn't fight any of it. He patted his pocket, looking for the extra tab he'd carried just in case the range had been too much for Starr. But his pockets were empty. He'd changed clothes when they'd returned to the house.

Across from them, Razzy peeled off one of the tabs and stuck it to the end of his forefinger, extending it over the desk. "Ca--lyx," he sang. "You know you waa-nnt it."

Black turned to look at the empath. Starr's light golden lashes were lowered, hiding his eyes from Black. His fair skin was shiny, beads of sweat glinting beneath the red light of Razzy's office. A pink tongue swept across the empath's dry lips. Then again.

If you don't do something he's going to dump you off his lap and take the Bliss.

Reluctantly, Black reached down and took one of Starr's hands in his. The empath looked up, a flash of fever-bright eyes. Strain showed clearly in those shiny green orbs. He was desperate. Holding the gaze, Black brought up the empath's hand and settled it on the back of his head. He guided Starr's fingers to massage through his hair.

Calyx stared, unable to believe that Darkness was actually initiating physical contact much less encouraging the empath to massage him. Even more amazing was the sudden wash of warm pleasure that trickled through his senses, distracting him from the cravings. Black was allowing Calyx to
feel
him.

Calyx couldn't tear his eyes away from the man in his lap. Under the wide-eyed scrutiny Black turned his face away, hiding his expression. Calyx massaged a little more deeply and was rewarded with a burst of grudging pleasure. The brunette’s head dropped, just a little. If Black had been the vocal type, Calyx knew his leader would have moaned.

Calyx's own gratitude and confusion battled with the pleasure Black was sending his way. Black's intent was obvious and Calyx could hardly believe that the man would be willing to do this for him. Strangely enough it made him abruptly lonely. He wanted to wrap his arms around Darkness and hold him as tight as he could, hoarding the man's pleasure and making it his own. He wanted to live off of Black's emotions like a parasite, never again feeling that emptiness, never again feeling that ache.

With his other hand Calyx lightly squeezed Black's thigh, trying to convey his gratitude. He saw Black's lashes lower as he looked down at the pale hand on his leg. Calyx expected the other man to remove his hand. But Black didn't, and the pleasure continued to flow into the empath unabated.

If Genesis wanted to take out JC2 he would discover that his job had gotten that much harder. Calyx had no intention of letting anyone hurt Black. Simply put, the man was rapidly becoming Calyx's favorite new addiction.

When Calyx waved Razzy off, the dealer shrugged and popped the pill into his mouth. The conversation rapidly deteriorated from there. Whatever additional information Calyx had hoped to squeeze from Razzy was impossible to get now that the short man was high. Listening to Razzy and the kids laughing hysterically, Black recognized this as well.

"Let's go," he muttered, sliding off the empath's lap and breaking their connection.

Calyx sat for a moment, feeling the loss of sensation like a spike of ice in the gut. It took a lot of effort to find a smile and plaster it on his face as he followed Black out of the liquor store.

Black tried not to think of much of anything as he led the way back to the house. Starr was silent, almost brooding, which was fine with him. Black didn't want to have to explain his actions back in the liquor store; especially since he had the feeling the empath was curious. Let him stay that way. Black wasn't admitting to anything.

Certainly he wasn't admitting that Starr's hand in his hair had felt nice. It was a purely physical reaction. There were hundreds of nerve endings in the scalp. A monkey could have been pawing him and he'd probably enjoy it as much. Somewhat.

No, the pleasure he'd felt and had allowed the empath to share had had nothing to do with Starr's particular touch or the scent of his citrusy cologne or the soft breath that had blown across the back of Black's neck. Black had hardly noticed any of that. He'd done what he had to in order to prevent any more laws from being broken. Any pleasure he'd taken from the act was inconsequential.

When they reached the house Black let them in without a word. The Clubhouse was dark as they made their way upstairs. Passing Sola's closed door, Black was surprised and annoyed to find himself stopped by a cool hand.

He glared back at Starr. The empath smiled unfazed. "What you did back there was very generous of you," the empath said softly with none of his usual teasing. "I wanted to thank you."

The sincerity of the words made Black uncomfortable. "I didn't want to deal with you all drugged up," he replied.

Starr continued to smile, undeterred by the coldly spoken words. "I enjoyed feeling you. It was nice."

Black met his eyes and didn't like the emotion he saw in the green gaze. Starr was a drug user, a prostitute and a criminal -- therefore a master manipulator. Black told himself he couldn't trust anything coming from Starr. He felt a slightly disappointed at the realization but grimly pushed the feeling aside. That's simply how it was.

"Goodnight, Starr," he said, opening his bedroom door.

As he shut the door behind him, he heard Starr murmur, "Sweet dreams, Darkness."

Sweet dreams.

Black shuddered as he shrugged out of his shirt. He hoped he
didn't
dream tonight. He needed a full night's rest. He hadn't gotten one in what seemed like a long time.

He walked into the bathroom and flicked on the light. The blood drained from his face, making the dark marks scattered across his neck and chest stand out all the more vividly. Ugly memories assailed him and though he tried with all his might -- shutting his eyes tightly and clutching the sink with whitened knuckles -- he couldn't push the nightmares out.

With a groan he staggered to the toilet and collapsed against it. He vomited until he thought he would see blood and then slid to the tile floor and curled up on it, cold and shivering.

Across the hall, Calyx stood in the doorway of his bedroom biting his fist.

"Stop, just stop!" he whispered. He covered his ears with his hands as if he could block any of it out.

The pain that he felt wasn't his, but he wished desperately that he could take it into himself and spare Black from whatever it was that tortured him. It wasn't right for such a strong man to be brought to his knees like this. He didn't understand the feelings rushing over him -- the self-hate, the fear and disgust. He was afraid to imagine what had caused them.