Fearless In Love (The Maverick Billionaires, Book 3) (11 page)

“Yes, I’m in California, so of course you should count me in. I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” Irene flipped her wrist to look at her watch. “I have to pack and shower and make myself gorgeous, but I can do it.” She listened, nodding. “Send your driver. I have no desire to manage the drive to SFO on my own. You’re a doll. Smooches.” Hanging up, she flopped over on the carpet, then rolled into a cross-legged position. “You are
not
going to believe this.” She waited until she had both Ari’s and Noah’s complete attention. “Angela got an invite to a private fashion extravaganza with three of
the
top designers. In Paris. This will be epic.” She clapped her hands. “We’re taking her daddy’s personal jet.” She patted Noah’s cheek. “I have to run, sweetie. But we’ll do all those fun things we talked about when I get back. Promise.” She leaned in, offering him her cheek. “Give Mommy a smooch.”

“But I want you to see the castle.” His lower lip trembled, and Ari saw tears glimmering. “And we were going to the zoo.”

“Oh honey-bunny, I wish I could, but I’ve got to pack and shower. So many things to do before Paris.” As if she’d only just noticed her son’s impending tears, she cupped his chin. “I’d take you with me, but you know your daddy would hate that.”

Ari’s hackles rose like a mama bear protecting her young. Irene had given Noah exactly an hour and a half. Ninety minutes of love and attention before the timer dinged. But getting into a battle in front of Noah would make things worse.

Irene rolled to her feet, smoothed her designer outfit, then held out her hand to Noah. “Walk me to my car so you can give your mommy a big good-bye kiss.”

Ari could see how much self-control it took the five-year-old boy to blink back his tears before he scrambled to his feet and took his mother’s hand. Outside, Irene hauled him up in her arms and covered his face with more kisses, while Noah threw his arms around her neck, hugging tightly as though he’d never let go.

After less than sixty seconds—Ari couldn’t help but count silently in her head—Irene pried him off. “Run to your nanny. She’ll help you finish building your toy.”

He stood staring at his mother for a long moment before finally trudging back to Ari’s side. For the first time, he didn’t reach for her hand, and when she bent down to take his, it was limp.

Irene climbed into the car, blowing kisses. “I’ll be back soon. We’ll do the zoo. Promise. Love you. ’Bye!”

Ari remembered the trampoline too late, and before she could remind Irene to have the store pick it up, Matt’s ex was gone with a squeal of tires as the sporty red car roared through the front gates, like a hurricane blowing through and leaving its wreckage behind.

“It’s not too late,” she told Noah. “We still have time for that picnic Cookie was going to make us.”

“I don’t want to go,” he grumbled, his mouth in a frown as he stared down the empty drive.

“Okay. Then why don’t we finish the castle so your dad can see it when he gets home?”

“I hate the castle.” He scuffed his shoe on the drive. “Why wouldn’t Daddy let me go if Mommy wanted me to?”

There was no way Ari could explain to the little boy that Irene would never take him on a trip like that, because no matter how well behaved he was, he would get in the way of her fun. Ari was beyond fumed that Irene had the nerve to blame it on Matt.

She knelt in the driveway. “It’s very hard for little boys to pick up and go like that. You have school on Monday. And your mommy will be very busy with all her designer friends.”

His lip trembled again. “But she was going to take me to the zoo.”

“I know.” A bubble of anger rose up in Ari’s throat, and she had to work to swallow it. She didn’t say that he and his mom would do it next time, because she didn’t believe Irene would actually follow through. For Irene, there would always be something sparkly and new that took precedence over Noah. “We’ll think of something fun to do instead.”

He jerked his hand out of hers. “No!” he shouted, stamping his foot. “It’s not fair. I want to go with her. I want to bounce on the bouncy thing. Daddy isn’t nice to me! And neither are you!” He ran up the steps into the house, slamming the front door behind him.

Ari double-cursed Irene. And by the time she got to the playroom, Noah had blown through, kicking the castle apart. She climbed the stairs to his room to find him curled in a ball on his bed. She sat beside him, but he rolled away, giving her his back.

“Everything’s going to be okay,” she whispered. It was the same thing she’d told his father less than twenty-four hours ago. The same thing she’d told herself this morning, even as her heart continued to ache.

“It’s not.” He sniffled and sobbed, his arm over his face. “Why doesn’t she like me?”

She was close to tears herself. “Oh, sweetheart, of course she likes you. She loves you.” But what excuse was she supposed to give for the way Irene had behaved? “She’s just so busy.” And careless and thoughtless. And downright cruel. “She loves you, sweetheart. As much as your daddy does.” Then she added what was already in her heart. “As much as I do.”

All her words did was make him sob harder, hiccupping with his distress.

Knowing he needed to get it out, she let Noah cry, rubbing his back, until finally he fell asleep. And all the while her heart broke for him, for the mother he wanted and could never have. She knew about wanting your mom to be someone you could count on—wanting it even when you knew it was never going to happen.

Her heart broke for Matt too. She was sure that every time Irene visited Noah, it ended like this—in tantrums, stamping feet, and tears. How helpless and powerless Matt must feel.

Just as helpless and powerless as Ari felt against her growing feelings for Noah’s father, who had made all of her dreams come true for a few precious hours in the dark.

Matt went straight to the playroom when he got home from the lab. He tried to spend weekends at home with Noah, but with the new product Trebotics International was releasing at the end of the month, the quality inspection this morning couldn’t wait. He’d hoped his absence would make things easier with Ari too, giving them both a few hours to think straight about what they’d done last night and accept that it could never happen again.

Only, he hadn’t been able to push her into a corner of his mind any more than he’d been able to keep from taking her to his bed last night. Every other thought was of how beautiful, how soft, how sweet—and how sexy—she’d been.

You can’t have her
, he reminded himself.
Last night can never happen again.

But all it took was one smile from Ari, seated beside Noah on the playroom floor, for Matt’s heart to stutter in his chest. In the sunlight through the window, her hair a fiery gold, she was the angel he’d seen by the fountain during the unveiling of Charlie’s sculpture.

He’d used the excuse of work to walk away from her this morning, but now he was all out of excuses. He knelt on the carpet beside them and a gazillion Lego pieces, finally noting that Noah hadn’t looked up, not even to say hi. “What are you working on, buddy?”

“Nothing.” His son’s voice was sullen.

Matt’s gut twisted again with fear as well as guilt. “Is everything all right after yesterday?” he asked Ari, his pulse racing. Could a concussion bring on mood swings? Had the doctor diagnosed his injury correctly?

“He just woke up from a nap. He’s still sleepy. Right, Noah?” She reached out a hand, and Noah flinched. The movement was slight, but Matt was hyperaware after yesterday’s fall.

“You don’t usually take naps anymore,” he said to his son.

Noah shrugged and kept robotically plugging parts into his latest creation. Matt frowned. Something was definitely off. But if it wasn’t yesterday’s fall, then what?

Ari moved gracefully to her feet. “I’ll get your dad some coffee, okay, Noah? We’ll be right back.” She gave Matt a penetrating stare and gestured for him to join her.

By the time he met her in the kitchen, Matt had finally guessed the problem. “Irene was here, wasn’t she?” He recognized the signs, and they tore him up inside, knowing exactly what Noah was feeling.

Ari pursed her lips. “Yes. I didn’t want to talk about it in front of Noah.”

He swore under his breath. “Tell me what happened.” Every beat of his heart felt like a nail driving deeper.

Closing her eyes briefly, she shook her head. It was the kind of gesture everyone made after Irene descended on them like an atomic bomb. “She brought him Legos, firecrackers, and a trampoline.”

“
Firecrackers
?” Even for Irene, that was crazy.

“The trampoline is outside. I wouldn’t let him use it, and he’s upset. It’s not child-size, and there’s no net.” She sighed. “But we were getting over that. Until Noah’s mother got a call inviting her to Paris for a fashion show right
after
they’d made plans to go to the zoo together this afternoon. She had to leave right away to catch her plane, so no zoo.”

Between Noah’s accident yesterday and the huge mistake he’d made with Ari, Matt had already been on edge. If Irene had been standing in front of him, he would have yelled until she was reduced to tears, no matter how many times he swore he’d never do that. She flitted in, created an uproar, then flitted out again, leaving him to pick up the pieces.

Leaving was the only thing about her that he could count on.

And Noah was like Humpty-Dumpty, who couldn’t be put back together again.

“I’m sorry,” Ari said. “I didn’t realize how upset he’d be. Poor guy cried himself to sleep. He thinks she doesn’t love him.”

Jesus, it killed him that he couldn’t figure out how to protect Noah from his own mother. Matt had never wanted his child to feel unloved or unwanted the way he had. But Irene never stuck around to see the aftermath of what she’d done, and when he told her, she simply rolled her eyes and said Noah seemed perfectly happy.

“Don’t apologize,” he told Ari, his voice gruff as he worked to contain his fury at his ex. “It’s not your fault. I should have warned you about Irene.” But he barely wanted to admit his terrible choice in girlfriends to himself, let alone tell his new nanny. Especially when he’d been lusting after Ari despite knowing better.

Yet she had clearly handled the whole situation well, calming Noah down enough to play with his Legos. Sometimes it took days for what he’d dubbed The Irene Effect to wear off.

“Actually, that’s not all.” He braced himself as she said, “She told Noah the reason she couldn’t take him to Paris was because you wouldn’t let him go with her.”

Damn Irene.
“I need to mend fences with Noah.” He ran his hand through his hair. Because while he needed to deal with the mess Irene had left, that didn’t mean he could use it as an excuse to avoid Ari. She deserved better than that. “We need to talk about Irene after Noah’s in bed. About last night too.” He paused, trying to read her expression, but couldn’t get a better handle on what she was feeling than he had that morning. “Is that okay?”

“Yes,” she said softly. “I’ll leave you two alone for now.”

The last time he’d talked with her after Noah had gone to bed, he’d lost control. Ari was pure temptation. But tonight he vowed not to touch her. He wouldn’t beg to kiss her. He wouldn’t remember the softness of her skin or how sweet she tasted.

No matter what.

Not even if he lost his mind trying.

* * *

Thankfully, Noah settled down by dinner, and at story time Ari was hugely relieved to see him reading with his father as though nothing had ever happened. She marveled at how quickly—and deeply—the little boy had burrowed into her heart. His happiness mattered to her big-time.

It was unimaginable that Irene had chosen to give up Matt and her beautiful son for the freedom to hop private planes and attend fashion shows in Paris. Ari would have done
anything
to have a family like them.

Once Noah had fallen asleep, Matt and Ari headed downstairs together to talk. In the living room, he gestured to the sofa while he went to the sideboard. “Would you like something to drink? A glass of wine?” he asked as he poured himself a finger of scotch.

“White, please.”

“I should have explained about Irene.” He was obviously more ready to tackle the subject of his ex than what they’d done last night. “But she hasn’t been here for months. I wasn’t even sure she’d show up again.”

Ari hated how carefully he avoided brushing her fingertips as he handed her the glass.

“You deserve to know what happened so you understand how it affects Noah when she drops in.”

“He was so sad it broke my heart,” she said softly.

“That’s what I hate.” He rolled the glass in his hand, and despite knowing better, she couldn’t help but want to be the glass, his hands all over her, heating her. “Nothing I say makes it better. You really helped today, Ari. He doesn’t normally recover so quickly.”

“A five-year-old shouldn’t need to
recover
from his mother’s visit.” Maybe she was speaking out of turn, but she understood only too well how hard it was when a parent acted carelessly with your feelings.

He set his glass on the side table, elbows on the arms of the wingback chair, and steepled his fingers. “When she found out she was pregnant, she thought it was a ‘total gas.’” He laughed without an ounce of humor. “I would have married her for the baby’s sake, but Irene wanted to wait and see how things went.”

Ari curled her feet up under her, propped her chin on her hand, and sipped her wine. She wanted to put her arms around him, to erase the pain that laced every word of his story. But after this morning, when he’d made it perfectly clear what a huge mistake their lovemaking had been, she didn’t dare touch him.

All she could do was ache.

* * *

Matt didn’t say that Irene had initially wanted to terminate the pregnancy and he’d talked her out of it. He only said, “She was pretty cavalier about the whole thing.” He stared at his glass on the table beside him. “She did have some fun with the attention the pregnancy brought.”

“Until she had the baby shower and all the presents were for Noah instead of her.”