Fearless Hope: A Novel (42 page)

The gifts were remarkable only for their practicality. There were tools for him, an ironing board and new canning jars for her. A mailbox. A bucket filled with cleaning supplies. A basket of garden tools. A rake, shovel, and hoe tied together with a big bow. A wheelbarrow, a nice grill, a garden hose. There was a step stool, and a pressure cooker for canning. Everything that people had deemed necessary to start the young couple off on a good footing was there. My favorite gift was one they accidentally got multiples of—the WhirleyPop, a handy and practical device for making lots of popcorn on top of a kitchen stove. After they opened three of them, Frieda leaned toward me and whispered, “I sure do hope they like popcorn!”

Her dry wit struck me as hilarious and I had to cover my
mouth to keep from bursting out laughing. Joyanne, on the other side, wanted to know what Frieda had said. I told her, and then we both had a problem. The opening of wedding gifts is a serious thing, which made the need to laugh become contagious. Before long, Joyanne, Frieda, and I were trying so hard not to laugh that we were practically crying.

Fortunately, Frieda’s comment came near the end, and in a few minutes, the gifts had all been unwrapped and it was time to leave. Another wave of guests needed to be fed—the young adults, who would stay until very late. They would also be served a large meal. The women were already preparing it.

As we said our good-byes, I noticed that the bride and groom were helping with the cleanup. This is expected among the Amish. It would seem arrogant and thoughtless to the family and friends who have worked so hard if the bride and groom simply left. Just as the bridal couple was up before dawn helping to set up for the wedding, they would stay and work until late on their wedding night. To my knowledge, Amish have not yet begun to have formal honeymoons. These two will traditionally spend the night in the bride’s parents’ home, then get up early the next day to finish taking down the tent and putting everything to rights on the farm. Sometime tomorrow, they will load up their gifts to take to their own home.

•  •  •

The bride’s family is pleased with their new son-in-law. He is known as a worker and a saver, a steady man who will make a good husband and father. Like most Amish youth, he has held down a job since he graduated from eighth grade. They will use and value the practical gifts they have been given. There is every expectation that a new baby will grace their home and church within the year. Babies are greatly valued. Not only because the Amish deeply love their children but because each child born to
a steady, God-fearing couple like this helps secure the future of the Amish church.

I can’t help but admire the things I saw emphasized that day. Three hours of preaching about God and His will for the marriage, and less than three minutes focused on the bride and groom as they pledge their commitment to each other. The very firm expectation by everyone there, including the bride and groom, that this marriage will last for life.

Instead of comments about how beautiful the bride was, I heard people remarking on what a good mother she would make, what a good homemaker she would be. I heard comments about what a hard worker he was, and how well they were suited for each other. Unlike a few unfortunate
Englisch
weddings I’ve attended, no one speculated unkindly upon how long the marriage would last. Amish do divorce, but the actual statistic hovers right at approximately one percent.

There is something touching and valiant about this young couple and about the Old Order Amish in general. They are not an ignorant people. They are well aware of technology and the world around them. I’ve heard some of the young people on
Rumspringa
casually mention that they have sold items on eBay and craigslist. Many of the young people, before they commit themselves to the church, own cars, enjoy various kinds of music, and carry cell phones. I am even told that they tend to prefer the cell phones with all the bells and whistles. They wear their hair stylishly cut, purchase modern clothing . . . and all the while, they ponder the biggest decision they will ever make in their life. Will they, or will they not, follow in the steps of their ancestors and become members of the Amish church?

One of the most extraordinary things I’ve learned about the Amish is that an estimated nine out of ten, after having these freedoms, will choose to be baptized into the Amish church. This statistic flies in the face of all conventional wisdom and
makes the retention rate of every other religious body pale by comparison. One would expect a religious group whose lifestyle is so backward and old-fashioned to be dying out by now—especially when there is such an enormous gap between our society and the Amish culture. How in the world can the Old Order Amish church be one of the fastest-growing churches in the world? To put that retention rate of 90 percent in perspective, according to a study by Georgetown University, even the Muslims have only a 76 percent retention rate.

Instead, the Amish population is doubling approximately every twenty years, one of the highest religious growth rates in the world. Also remarkable is the fact that this is the highest retention rate they have experienced in their entire history. Eventually most of these modern, technologically savvy young people will choose to sell their cars, put away their
Englisch
clothes, disconnect themselves from phones and television and rock music, have a wedding much like this, and begin raising a family exactly in the same way they’ve been raised.

I wonder how this can be. This is a church where the members routinely endure two- to three-hour church services. They sit on hard, backless benches. They have no paid, trained clergy. They have no church buildings. Instead, they meet in homes, barns, and basements. No church is allowed to grow beyond approximately two hundred members. Instead of allowing a church to get too large, a new church is established a few miles away. They have no praise team, no instruments, no Sunday school program, no vacation Bible schools or revivals. They are not at all evangelistic. (One older Amish man commented to me once that in his opinion, living a truly godly life is the most important form of evangelism possible.) Young adults who choose not to be baptized into the Amish church are not ostracized. Their rules of unity, known as their
Ordnung
, are complicated, and in an
Englisch
person’s eyes, even unreasonable.

To me, it is a miracle that a church like that survives at all, let alone thrives!

The answer, I think, lies partially in the fact that in general these kids are allowed to see and experience the world just enough to know that they want to turn their backs on it. They long for the decency and honesty of their parents’ lives. They want the close-knit fellowship and support with which they’ve grown up. They look at the commitment to God and to one another other, and they are willing to sacrifice a few conveniences. While
Englisch
people are becoming more and more attached to artificial friendships and socialization, the Amish continue to enjoy close, satisfying, and meaningful fellowship with one another.

Are they perfect? Far from it.

Are they biblically sound? Probably not on every tenet.

Are they more spiritually mature than other Christians? No.

I think the root of the success of the Old Order Amish can be observed in the microcosm I’ve observed of their society as it is exhibited in this wedding. Close, nurturing family and church relationships. A deep commitment to honoring God. A work ethic that puts them head and shoulders above most of our society, and an ability to support themselves. The security of knowing that a crowd of competent hands will be willing to help whenever help is needed.

In a world that frequently seems to be going crazy, I find great comfort in my visits with my Amish friends. There is a steadiness in the rhythms of their lives, so closely attuned to the seasons of nature. There is an enviable feeling of peace in their homes unmarred by the cacophony of TV sets or ringing telephones. The only music I’ve ever heard in their homes is the happy laughter of children playing—and that is music enough.

This modern young couple has made a choice today and I am
inspired by it. They have vowed to remain faithful to the traditions of their ancestors, to God, and to each other, for life.

I pray the Lord will bless their union and that their home will be filled with children, love, and good memories. Most of all I pray that they will be able to continue this decent life they’ve chosen. Our broken world could stand to have many more families just like theirs.