Fearless Curves (6 page)

“I was raised catholic. My mom and dad are still devout and while they love me, they’re not happy I’m not a good catholic girl. I don’t live to please them or anyone else. I’m not always as self-assured as I seem, but I made a decision a long time ago to not live to please other people. I’ve seen how miserable that can make a person. I live without fear of what other people think,” Trudy said and it sounded like she was speaking of someone specific but I didn’t pry. I was pretty sure that person wasn’t me but I could tell she thought I wasn’t as happy as I might be.

“I’m not miserable. I like my life. Working for Vic isn’t my dream job but it’s OK. I like my condo and I love living in Vegas. I’m not unhappy,” I countered.

“But are you happy? Not being unhappy isn’t the same. Don’t settle for OK. Don’t let some sense of normal hold you back. I promise you, there is no normal,” Trudy told me. That hit home. Was I happy? I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t depressed but maybe Trudy had a point.

“So, say I’m not ridiculously happy. So what should I do about that?” I wondered.

“Do what makes you happy. Did you really get up on the bar and dance in your undies?” Trudy asked. I rolled my eyes and blushed.

“Yeah, I’m afraid I did,” I told her.

“Did you like that?” she asked pointedly. I thought about it. It was scary and bit unnerving but if I was being honest, it was fun. It was thrilling actually.

“Yeah,” was all I said.

“So, do more stuff like that,” Trudy said. Was it that easy? Just do what made you feel good? As I considered it, the question sounded so stupid. Maybe it was that easy. But then I had to ask the question even though I already knew the answer. I guess I just needed to hear it.

“What will people think?” I wondered.

“Do you really care?” Trudy asked. I knew she didn’t. Or maybe like she alluded, she made a point not to care even when her instincts told her otherwise. I guess it was a choice. “Look, I’m not saying you should go out, find a scruffy biker and marry him but if Jack made you feel good, be with Jack. If it doesn’t work out, so be it. If you like dancing half-naked on bar tops, do it. If people judge, fuck them!” Trudy said and it made me laugh.

I couldn’t deny that when we shared a dorm room I envied Trudy a bit. I wished I was more spontaneous, a little naughty like her sometimes. Hell, who was I kidding? I envied her more than a bit. I was confident enough in many areas of my life but I still worried how people might think of me. I was worried about how I might appear to other lawyers, to my parents and friends. Hell, I worried about how complete strangers might judge me. I wasn’t sure why, though. I guess I just wanted to fit in for some reason, for people to accept me. I guess I was afraid of being singled out. But as I considered that, I discovered it didn’t bring me a lot of joy. It just made things easier.

“You want to go out tonight?” I asked.

“I’d love to but I’ve got a date,” Trudy told me. Damn. I suddenly wanted a taste of Hogs and Heifers, a taste of my night with Jack. I sighed, disappointed but Trudy saved me. “It’s not really a date. I was going to meet Sarah, the crossdresser, for dinner and drinks,” Trudy said.

“What do you mean it’s not a date? I thought you were dating him...her,” I asked not sure what to call a man dressed up like woman.

“No, we only went out a few times, but we’re friends now. She’s cool. You want to go with us?” Trudy asked.

“Where?” I wondered but I don’t think I cared. Going out with Trudy and Sarah sounded fun. Suddenly, I wondered how many times I’d heard of something fun but didn’t do it. How many times had someone invited me to do something interesting or daring and I turned them down because I thought it wasn’t something people would agree with or I was sure it wasn’t for me. That was kind of sad.

“We we’re talking about just going out to a bar we like. Not really a gay bar but a bar that caters to all kinds, you know. It’ll be fun. You’re welcome to come along,” Trudy assured me. It sounded fun and a bit scary. It wasn’t me but suddenly I didn’t want to be me, or at least not the me I thought other people thought I should be.

“What should I wear?” I wondered, sure I was going now.

“Something hot. Wait till you see Sarah,” Trudy said excitedly.

“I want to go,” I told Trudy. She smiled.

“Cool!” she replied. We finished our water and off we went. I had butterflies but it was excitement as much as nerves. I wondered what was going to happen and discovered I hoped that whatever it was, it would be something nobody would ever expect me to do. Kind of like my night with Jack, I guess.

>>O<<

I got back home at around four that afternoon. Trudy took me to get my car after we finished our hike. I hopped into the shower as soon as I got home, excited about the upcoming night out with Trudy and her crossdressing friend. I meant to relax a bit after getting out of the shower before getting dressed as we weren’t going out until seven but I ended up dripping wet on my bed with my fingers buried between my creamy thighs. It felt so good but it wasn’t the physical sensations that made it special.

Talking with Trudy helped me see the previous evening in a different light, but it didn’t solve the Jack problem. I still couldn’t forget what we did and how he made me feel. Imagining Jack was with me and I was being his bad girl again drove me wild. I was doing things for him I’d only read about in those dirty books on my Kindle and immediately deleted so no one would know what I’d been reading. I felt a bit guilty for fantasizing about Jack like that, but I forced myself to ignore those feelings.

After a particularly wild orgasm, I stopped pleasuring myself and lay on my bed, still wet from the shower and breathing hard. Why wouldn’t I want another night with Jack? Who was I kidding? I loved the way he fucked me. I needed more of that. I wondered if he’d forgive me, assuming he was angry in the first place. I bet if I looked the part of the bad girl he brought out in me, he couldn’t resist. I got up and went to my closet and found something to wear that he might like. I wasn’t seeing him, but I wanted to dress up like I was. Once I found what I wanted, I finished getting ready.

“Girl, you look hot!” I said as I looked myself over in my mirror. Leather boots with spiked heels, fishnet stockings and a black lace garter belt, a way too short black skirt left over from a Halloween costume and to top it all off I found an old baby doll t-shirt that had “Princess” emblazoned across my boobs in rhinestones. I guess I wore my clothes tighter in college because that thing left little to the imagination. I also began to wonder if I didn’t have some kind of stocking fetish. I had like fifty pairs. Maybe that was the bad girl expressing herself.

For a moment, I almost took it all off. But something about this felt...I don’t know...right, I guess. I felt sexy and hot and excited. I felt alive. Then I had an idea. I left my dark hair down and I’d applied my makeup fairly heavy but I needed something else. I rummaged through my dresser and finally found what I was looking for. A black satin choker that had come with some outfit or another and I thought looked stupid. But now, it tied this whole outfit together and looked perfect. It made me look a bit naughty and a whole lot submissive.

I was having fun. I felt a bit wicked and I liked it. I’d seen girls dressed like this and wished I could too but I always told myself that it wasn’t me. That was always my excuse. It wasn’t me. I wasn’t that type of girl or whatever. But it was me and I was just afraid to admit it. I was afraid of what others might think if I strayed from the straight and narrow course. But deviating from the norm was sort of liberating. I grabbed my hand bag and left to meet Trudy and Sarah, excited to see where this might lead.

We met for dinner at a little Thai place in a strip mall. I was stunned when I met Sarah. She, as both women informed me was the proper way to refer to a crossdresser, was stunning. A bit tall and broad in the shoulders but Sarah wasn’t the man in a dress I’d imagined. I couldn’t help wondering what was under her slinky dress after Trudy told me they had slept together. The idea blew my mind, especially seeing how incredibly sexy she looked. Did that make them lesbians or what? I wasn’t sure.

Sarah had a on a tight red dress and pantyhose with matching heels. She had no issue explaining to Trudy and I all the tricks she used to look as good as she did while we ate. Her long, straight honey-blonde hair wasn’t hers and neither were those lush eyelashes or the round breasts, but you couldn’t really tell. Her voice was husky but feminine enough and kind of sexy too. She had a Kathleen Turner sound to her. Her long red nails gave her hands a feminine look as well. I wondered how many men checked out the tall crossdresser and had no idea they were really looking at a man. The idea was sort of amusing.

Trudy, on the other hand, was in black lace leggings and a cute green tunic that showed of her ample cleavage and matched her eyes. She wore black platform pumps but she still barely stood five-foot seven and Sarah dwarfed Trudy in her own heels. Once again, I couldn’t help but imagine Trudy and Sarah having sex. I forced myself to stop because it was kind of erotic. Sarah, however, didn’t seem ashamed of her crossdressing in the least.

“Damn, I’ve got to go to the ladies room. My dick is all bent and twisted in these pantyhose. The things I do to look this good,” Sarah joked and excused herself. I had to go to the restroom too and joined her. Trudy stayed behind at the table to watch our stuff. “So, you don’t seem too shocked,” Sarah said as we entered the ladies room.

“Trudy told me about you. Honestly, you look great. I’d never have known you were a...,” I said and stopped unsure of what I should say. Sarah looked at me and smiled.

“Don’t worry about it, Brandy. I’m a guy most of the time. I have a dick. You won’t offend me,” she said and then as an afterthought looked under the stalls to make sure we were alone. We were. If we weren’t some poor woman would be getting an earful.

“Sorry, I’ve never met a girl like you,” I said and Sarah hiked up her dress and shoved her hand into her pantyhose and bent her legs awkwardly a she adjusted herself. I looked away and found a stall to do my business. She kept talking as I did.

“I’m glad I don’t scare you. A lot of people just don’t get it, you know. They think I’m a weirdo, and I guess I am. But I’m just being true to me. This makes me happy. I’ve got a girl inside of me and she needs to get out and have some fun too. I was miserable before I embraced Sarah. Trudy is my savoir,” Sarah told me.

“Trudy?” I wondered from my stall.

“Yeah, she was the first person I told my secret too. We were dating and she dragged it out of me. She really helped me be OK with Sarah. In fact, she helped me pick out my name,” Sarah explained. I got it now. Sarah was the miserable person Trudy spoke of on our hike. I wondered how she knew. She said she was an empath. I assumed she wasn’t reading minds but Trudy did seem to have a knack for guessing how people felt and helping them work through it. She had done so for Sarah and she’d done it for me too on numerous occasions.

“I didn’t know that. Trudy’s a good friend that way,” I replied.

“Yeah, she is,” Sarah agreed. I emerged and washed my hands before checking my outfit in the mirror as Sarah did the same. She turned towards me and asked, “Can you see a bulge?” I giggled and looked her over.

“Nope, you look good,” I replied finding the whole scene a bit surreal.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to party,” Sarah said. I nodded.

“Me too,” I told her and I meant it. I wanted to go out with Sarah, the sexy crossdresser, and Trudy, the cute empath, apparently, and get into some trouble. We left the restroom and settled up with Trudy who had paid the bill. We left in a cab for The Kurtain Kall, a trendy club just off the Vegas Strip. We’d all taken cabs to the restaurant because it was likely we’d all be taking them back home later. That was the plan anyway.

As advertised, The Kurtain Kall catered to all kinds. There were rockers, gays, lesbians, hipsters, clubbers, ravers, you name it. Sarah wasn’t the only crossdresser either. Some were far more flamboyant, however, and I’m pretty sure some weren’t simply transvestites. Everyone fit in and at the same time, nobody did. It was an eclectic mix of people, a melting pot of lifestyles and cliques. We ordered drinks but we didn’t bother trying to find a seat. There weren’t any open tables or stools at the bar. There was room, though not much, on the dance floor and that’s where we ended up.

Trudy, Sarah and I danced together to the pounding dance music. We made quite the strange trio but who cared? We weren’t the strangest group of partiers in the place. Next to us a guy danced with two women, his hands all over both of them and all three of them wore wedding rings. There were couples of all types beyond that threesome, gay men, lesbians, straight people and more. You couldn’t help but wonder what went on behind closed doors as you looked around the crowd and I wondered which of the women in the threesome was stepping out on her husband and if he knew it or not.

We danced and drank and soon I was feeling a bit tipsy. I was having the time of my life, however. This was so much fun, just dancing, drinking and people watching. Then out of the blue, Trudy and Sarah began dancing together. Their hands roamed one another’s body and then Sarah bent and kissed Trudy deeply. I couldn’t help but stare at the display. Sarah caught me looking and broke the kiss and let Trudy go. “You’re turn, sexy,” she said and came my way.

I giggled despite myself as Sarah danced her way towards me, her hips swaying and a prominent bulge now showing in her dress. She slipped her hands around my waist and pulled me close staring into my eyes. Her bulge rubbed against me as we danced and then she kissed me. I was shocked and went stiff but I relaxed after a moment. “Go, Brandy!” Trudy shouted and I laughed breaking the kiss with Sarah. Sarah laughed too and I could tell she was just having a bit of fun, playing around.

“Your dick is showing,” I teased. Sarah looked down.

“Little fucker escaped,” she exclaimed at then we all had a good laugh but Sarah didn’t make any attempt to rectify the situation. Sarah and I danced a while longer and then Trudy joined us. As surprising as Sarah’s kiss was, it was fun. It was sexual but in a casual, friendly way. No pressure, no expectations, just playing around for the sake of playing around. I found I liked letting go and just doing what felt good. Yeah, I wondered what people might think if they knew I was kissing a man in a dress but I also discovered not caring made me feel good. Hell, it felt awesome! The song changed and this one was even faster and the three of us joined the crowd, jumping up and down and getting a bit crazy.