Fearless (19 page)

I glanced over at Niki, at her radiant face. She looked like a freaking angel. Her long dark hair fell in large curls over her shoulders. She turned toward me and gave me a smile. It was as if the sun had come out for the first time that day. She was perfect. I was falling for her hard, and I savored it. In the past I would have gotten drunk and hit the road, or messed it up long before anything serious could develop. Not this time. No fucking way. I was in this for the long haul. Press it to the limits and see where we would end up. I trusted her more than anyone.
Maybe this was what love was all about?

We hadn’t made a commitment yet, or actually said the words. Although I had been tempted many times, I was still a little gun-shy. It would feel awesome to hear her say those three little words to me. But there was still so much I didn’t know about her. And, of course, there was her disapproving dad. Fuck him! I was sick and tired of other people trying to meddle with our relationship. This was something only Niki and I could touch.

As we drove into the driveway of my brother’s small house, Niki was fidgeting with her hands in her lap.

“Nervous, baby?”

“A little.” Niki dug in her purse and whipped out some kind of lip gloss stuff. She flipped down the mirror on the back of the sun visor. She didn’t need it. Her lips were just fine for me the way they were and if she didn’t stop massaging them with that applicator thing and opening her mouth in the perfect shape for…oh shit, we’d better get inside quick.

“Everything is cool,” I said. “Jimmy and Sarah don’t bite.” I gave her a quick kiss of approval and tore myself away. I climbed out of the rental car and stretched my legs.

“You smell that, Niki?”

The woodsy aroma of autumn leaves filled my nostrils as I inhaled. “That’s the smell of home.” California had its own unique smell of the ocean, but nothing beat the crisp scent of Thunder Ridge in the fall. I peered through the window at Niki, still sitting in the car.

“You okay?”

She looked at me and smiled. “Perfectly okay. I’m just excited.”

I opened her door and she stepped out.

“Cute house,” Niki said.

“It’s pretty small. Most houses here are. You’ll like the town, friendly people, nice people…well, most of them,” I chuckled. “Except for Manny and Jeff. They’re a little on the crude side.”

I reached out my hand to knock, when the brown door flew open and Jimmy’s grinning face appeared. “There he is. My little shithead of a brother.”

“Right back at you, bro.”

“Glad you made it. What took so long? It’s only a seventy five mile drive. I was beginning to think I needed a magazine…” I gave him a big bear hug.

“Jimmy, this is Niki.”

His eyes flicked to her and he raised a brow. “Very nice, Jesse.” Then he addressed Niki and said, “A very lovely lady. You come with high praises and I can see you live up to all of them and more. I’m Jesse’s big brother, the asshole cop.”

“I kind of figured,” Niki said with a smile. “I mean the part about being his brother...not the other. So excited to finally meet you. Jesse’s told me all about you.”

“Oh, I bet he has, a pile of crap I’m sure. Come on in. Say hi to my wife, Sarah. She’s in the family room taking a load off.”

We walked into the house and I almost choked when I saw Sarah in a slightly reclined position, small green couch pillows supporting her back.
Holy shit
,
her stomach is huge.
“Wow, I didn’t know you were carrying triplets. Jesus, how can you even get up off the couch and do housework like that?”

“For Christ sake, Jesse, show some fucking sensitivity, you heathen,” Jimmy said. Niki scowled at me and gave me the ‘shut up, dumbass,’ swat on my arm.

Sarah looked me up and down then shook her head. “Yeah, yeah, you’re real funny, Jesse. A regular comedian. Do I look like I’m laughing? You fucking try carrying this load, twenty-four seven. You wouldn’t last five minutes, you wimp.”

Sarah was busting my chops. Normally she was the petite flower type, but her condition had her acting like a little firecracker today and who could blame her with a…shit, a damn watermelon in her stomach. Or maybe two watermelons.

“Sorry, I’m an idiot. When are you going to pop?”

“Not soon enough.” She shifted her pillows. “My due date is Friday. Sit down, sit down, you two.” She waved to an overstuffed burgundy loveseat that matched the couch. “Jesse, you dickhead, where are your manners? Introduce your girlfriend.”

“I’m Niki. Nice to meet you, Sarah. You do look uncomfortable, it must be so tough.” Niki took a seat next to me on the loveseat.

Unable to find a satisfactory position, Sarah moved her body again and let out a sigh. “If I’d known I would have a kid this big, I would’ve fucking adopted. Imagine trying to pop this thing out of your vagina?”

“Um, I don’t have a vagina, Sarah. At least the last time I looked,” I said.

“Yeah, well half the time you act like a pussy…” Jimmy shot back.

“What the hell was I thinking?” Sarah fussed again with the small green pillow supporting her back. “You did this to me, Jimmy, you fucking did this and you’re gonna pay.” Exasperated, she yanked the pillow out and tossed it at Jimmy with a jesting smirk.

Jimmy moved to her side, handing her the pillow and asked, “Can I get you anything, baby? Anything to make you a little more comfortable?” She shook her head and flipped her middle finger at Jimmy, giving him a suffering look. “The doctor says it will be at least ten pounds,” Jimmy said.

Niki turned to me, wide eyed, and mouthed the word, “WOW.”

Jimmy patted his wife’s knee. “Jesse, why don’t you show Niki your room and unload your bags. I want to take you for a little drive later.”

“Sure thing, bro.”

I slung our two suitcases into the tiny guest room. Sarah had already painted the walls a pale blue. I maneuvered our bags around an unassembled baby crib that leaned against the wall and flopped Niki’s suitcase onto the bed.

Niki spotted a lamp on the dresser, a recent purchase, no doubt for the baby’s room. She walked over to it and leaned in, touching the base of the lamp.

“Aw-w-w. This lamp is adorable. Look Jesse, there’s a little bear holding balloons. I have to get a baby gift. Maybe a cuddly teddy bear, like this one, to go with the theme of the room.”

“You’ll just find any excuse to shop, won’t you?” I teased and unzipped the suitcase on the bed. She gave a sidelong glance like I had given her a challenge. Her expression softened.

“I really like your brother and Sarah. She doesn’t take shit from anybody, does she?”

I shook my head and grinned. “They’re awesome together. You wouldn’t think it, when you see them, but they love each other.” I handed her a clothes hanger from the closet for her dress.

“Oh, I see it. Jimmy seems so gentle and sweet.”

“Yeah, try growing up with him for a brother.”

“Oh you don’t mean that. He admires you. Anyone can see that. Besides, it must have been tough for him, being the man of the house at such a young age.”

I stole a few moments alone with Niki to pull her into my arms. I pushed her long dark hair out of her face and leaned my forehead against hers. “I suppose you’re right.” I cupped her face in my hands and tasted her sweet lips.

I was interrupted by the sound of Jimmy loudly and insistently clearing his throat. He was leaning up against the bedroom doorframe with a smirk on his face.

“I’d say, get a room you two but…” He raised both hands, palms up and shrugged, his eyes trailing around the edges of the room.

“And I’d say, do you like to watch, perv?”

Niki dropped her chin to her chest and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, smiling.

“You ready, Jess? I want to do this before dinner.”

“Sure, be right there.”

I looked at Niki unpacking her suitcase. “Are you alright if I leave for an hour or two? Jimmy wants to have a chat. You and Sarah can get to know each other better.”

“Sure, babe. Take your time. I know you guys have a bunch to catch up on. Oh, and by the way, you realize you’re leaving me alone with an angry and highly hormonal pregnant woman. So if I’m missing when you get back, check the backyard for buried bodies. ”

I gave her a sweet kiss and said, “You’re the best, Niki.” I took her by the hand and led her back to the family room, where I left her with Sarah who sat on the couch, mumbling expletives and something about killing Jimmy. Niki gave me the ‘you owe me big time’ look and I darted out of there before she changed her mind.

Chapter 20

Jesse

I watched Jimmy’s face contort across the clear table at the local bar. Our hands were locked together in clawed fists, elbows placed level on the surface to ensure no chance of an unfair advantage, or more leverage. Jimmy had challenged me to an arm wrestling match, just like when we were teenagers. He used to be the champion of these little testosterone matches, but I’d been working out with my private trainer, Chase, back in California, getting my hand ready for racing.

“Give up, wussy?” I saw a hint of a smile. I knew he wouldn’t be able to laugh and push at the same time.

He clenched his teeth and groaned one last time before he released his grip. We both laughed and it felt good to be with my big brother again, when he wasn’t cussing me out for some shit I did to mess things up.

“You look good, Jesse.” He reached over and snatched his beer from the edge of the table, where it had been moved out of the way for the arm wrestling. “And in better shape too.” He gave a chuckle and swallowed his beer.

“California has been good for me. I guess my ole brother’s advice wasn’t so bad after all?”

“Well, when I open my mouth, I’m right.”

I snort laughed and relaxed back in my chair. The cool brew felt good sliding down my throat.

“What’s up with your girl, Niki? She’s cute and very sweet. Hope you’re not going to be the usual dickhead and break her heart.”

“You see how I’ve changed on the outside. I look healthier, I’m all tan but what’s changed the most is inside and it’s all because of her. She does something that no one else has ever done. She makes me want to be better person. Call me crazy, but I’m fucking keeping this one.”

“You’re a lucky bastard all right. So have you thought about the future? You’re going to be racing all over the world before long. Will she be your puppy and follow along?”

“She has plans to be a fashion designer. But I was thinking…”

“Oh shit, you - thinking? Did it hurt?”

“Asshole. Anyway, I was thinking, where is the best place for someone to study fashion?”

“You tell me, I don’t make a habit of painting my toenails. What do I know about fashion stuff?”

“It’s in Europe, you duffus. The exact place I will be racing next year. So why not have her come with me? She can do her fashion thing while I race. I’ll be racing in the biggest cities all over Europe.”

I leaned back and took a self-righteous gulp of beer, satisfied with my plan to have Niki with me. The idea of leaving her in California while I was in Europe led to too many crazy thoughts in my pea sized-brain. Too many, ‘what if’s, too many temptations for her to forget about me. I would fucking fall apart without her. I studied Jimmy’s face for signs of acceptance.

“Yeah, well...” Jimmy scratched his chin as he drew out the words. “You know women, just when you think you’ve got them all figured out… I mean, think about it, she’ll be dependent on you. Is that what she wants?”

“I don’t see it that way.” I leaned forward, elbows on the table. “Jimmy, this is a fucking awesome opportunity for her. She’d be right in the center of a place that’s important to her career dream. If I can help her with that, all the better. Shit, who knows about the future. It’s not like we are getting married or anything.”

Jimmy pushed his hand through his hair, letting it rest a moment at the back of his neck.

“I know, but Jess, let’s just say… in the past you haven’t made the brightest decisions about things. I’m just saying, bro, be cautious. Plus her family might have different plans for her.”

I twirled the empty glass in my hand and a little smile crossed my face. I remembered the night I met her dad at Cinnamon’s birthday party. “I’m not exactly on the A-list with her dad but…I trust her, when she says she wants to be with me.”

I raised a finger and my empty glass to call for the waitress.

 “Well, just keep your guard up - bob and weave - and don’t get hurt, man. We’ve all heard about these L.A. girls…they can be tough to figure out.”

“Tell me about it, bro, but Niki is different, I trust her completely.”

The waitress brought us two more beers.

Jimmy’s face turned serious. “It’s crazy about Kenny. How do you cope with it all?”

“Honestly, I try not to think about it too much. But it’s funny, now that I know he is my dad, I suddenly see so much of myself in him. It’s crazy. I can’t really blame him for something that happened so many years ago. It wasn’t just his fault. Stuff like that just happens. You can’t contain young love.”

“I’m glad you’re taking it so well, because I really brought you here to talk about Mom.” A small shiver of alarm ran through my body. It had better not be bad news. I wanted nothing more in the world than for her to be well again.

“She’s getting better. The doctor says she can go home, but she will need a little supervision at least for the first two weeks.”

I relaxed, unaware that I’d had a death grip on my beer glass. “Yeah, Manny told me about it when he was in LA last week. You couldn’t tell me first? Something happened to your phone?”

“Give me a break, man. It’s not like my life has been a bed of roses lately. Besides, I wanted to tell you in person. She’s been cooped up there for way too long. It tears me apart knowing she had to be in that place. I don’t know how she can stand it.”

“You and me both, brother.”

“Anyway, you know the situation. If she still had her house she could have been in the day-program, come and gone each day, but with no one to drive her back and forth every day, that’s the way things had to be. I talked to her last week and she’s excited to get out of there and spend some time with you.”