Fearless (8 page)

Despite wanting to meet with Gia, he didn’t call her out in front of everyone. He knew how backbiting these teams could get. If he gave her any more attention now, then offered her the plum assignment he had in mind, there would be bitching. Especially from the geek twins.

And that was the kind of crap that sank projects, or ruined project director reps. No thanks.

So he waited, giving everyone equal time as they stopped at the front of the room to say goodbye. He finally shook off the clingy blond who wanted to get a drink and discuss the project—a total no since Luke was keeping this development a smear-free zone. And because he didn’t date guys.

His smile rueful and friendly, Luke looked around for Gia.

She wasn’t there.

Where had she gone?

He was standing at the front of the room. How had she slipped by him? And why hadn’t she stopped to talk?

Luke shoved his hands in his pockets, scowling at the empty room. Was it something he’d said? How the hell had he upset or irritated her in the few words they’d exchanged?

Then, hearing his own pathetic thoughts, he closed his eyes and shook his head in disgust.

Holy crap. One woman snuck out of his life, leaving him blindfolded, naked and horny as hell, and now he had a complex.

“How’d it go, dude?” Matt stood in the doorway, one shoulder against the frame and two coffees in hand.

“Not bad,” Luke said, shrugging off the mood and gathering his notes and reports into his satchel. “I’m still not sure what I was thinking, though. This entire group is head and shoulders above me on tech skills and current programming experience. Any one of them could direct this project better than I could.”

Matt shook his head, blinked, then shook it again.

“What?”

“Just wondering what happened to the Luke Monroe I know. That guy had confidence, skills and balls big enough to sink Alcatraz.”

Luke’s thighs actually contracted at the thought of trying to walk around with a pair that size between his legs.

Still, while ridiculous, the message was crystal clear.

“I’m just saying I might be out of my depths here. You know, like you were that weekend you went home with those triplet flight attendants.”

Handing over one of the coffees, Matt snorted at that memory.

“I managed to survive with my rep, and my goods, intact,” he pointed out. “You will, too. You just need to remember what your job is.”

Luke slanted him a questioning look.

Before he could answer, Matt’s cell rang. He answered it, diving immediately into dirty talk.

More than ready to end this day, Luke headed toward the parking lot, Matt chatting away beside him with whoever he was seeing that evening. An evening that would include handcuffs, latex and possibly video equipment.

Ahh, good times.

Luke wasn’t interested in sex, though. Which was something he’d lament later, in private. For now, he mulled his friend’s suggestion.

By the time they’d reached his BMW, parked next to Matt’s Miata, he’d finally figured it out.

“You clear?” Matt asked, a quick look at Luke’s much more relaxed face clueing him in.

“Yeah. When I was selling the product, I had to know what it did, be able to describe it in detail and answer all the questions about how it could apply to the client’s needs.” With the push of a button, the driver’s door opened and Luke tossed his satchel on the backseat. Then, leaning one arm on the roof of his car, he took a deep, relaxing breath.

“This gig is the same. It’s my job to know what we need, to answer questions and push the team. But I’m there to lead. Not to program. I’m the hub.”

He thought of Gia’s words. Heat stirred. Ridiculous considering he had no idea what she looked like. But her voice had something to it. Something sexy.

“There ya go,” Matt agreed. He jingled his keys for a second, then tilted his head toward the street. “You want to go get a drink? Dinner?”

Luke smiled. Only a true friend would give up what sounded like the promise of very kinky sex to listen to a buddy moan his way through an identity crisis.

“I’m good. I’ve got work to do.”

“We can double up. I’ll call my girl, have her bring a friend.” Matt pulled out his phone, showing he was ready to do just that. “We’ll skip the handcuffs and hit the clubs.”

“I’m good,” Luke refused again, shaking his head and offering a wave before sliding into the Beemer.

Handcuffs? Really?

Wincing at the things that some people got off on, Luke headed home. His empty apartment didn’t hold much charm, but there was even less in Matt’s suggestion, even though they both knew it’d end with the two of them getting laid. That was the kind of women Matt’s girls—and their friends—were. But faceless, nameless sex had lost its charm for Luke. Besides, unless it was with Vanna, he wasn’t finding much appeal in even thinking about sex.

Looked as if he was going to have a whole lot of time, energy and focus to devote to this new project after all.

And maybe, just maybe, by the end of it he’d be over his feelings for the Vegas vixen.

For some weird reason, the image Gia’s ratty tennis shoes flashed through his head.

Maybe by the end of this project, he’d be ready to move on. And, horrible taste in footwear aside, he’d already found a woman who just might appeal to him.

Girlz Guide Words of Wisdom
…

If the cost makes you squawk, you gotta walk
.

Luke couldn’t say he’d had a lot of experience with frustration in his life. The past two weeks had changed that. And he wasn’t much liking it.

“Is Gia here yet?” he asked as he made his way through the tech room. Heads down and hard at work, the team kept right on working. Most had headphones on, the better to block out distractions and get into a flow. But a couple grimaced, and finally, Geek One met Luke’s eyes with a negative shake of the head. Luke’s jaw tightened before the guy uttered a single word.

“She called in an hour ago. She’s working remote until the meeting this afternoon.”

Suddenly all eyes, even the ones attached to heads wearing ear buds, were on him. Luke kept his expression chill and his smile in place, letting a nod be his only response.

The project was over halfway done. They were ahead of schedule and kicking butt, mostly thanks to Gia’s brilliant ideas. And, of course, his excellent leadership.

But he’d yet to get any one-on-one time with his best tech.

After the team’s first brainstorming session, where she’d once again sat in the back of the room, keeping the session rolling while slouched in half, she’d immediately glommed on to Tri-Solutions’ lenient telecommuting policy. Luke had taken to calling mandatory team meetings in a desperate attempt to get the woman in the same room as him.

Making a show of looking over the stat board he’d positioned on one end of the room, Luke tried to figure out what it was about Gia that fascinated him. She included cleverly snarky remarks in her reports. Their phone conversations were short, but there was something in her voice that tugged at his senses. She challenged him to think bigger, to challenge himself and, to push the team and the project even further than he had considered. They’d taken to emailing back and forth, at first talking about the project, then, over the past few days, slipping in a personal tidbit here and there. It was as if she could read him, and she wasn’t afraid to point out where he was dropping the ball as leader.

That’d bothered him at first, until she asked if this was really his passion. Her questions forced Luke to admit that it wasn’t. He’d taken this job to prove something, but all he’d proven was that it wasn’t quite the challenge he needed. There was something else missing.

Crazy that he’d needed that pointed out to him by a woman whose face he’d never even seen.

But Gia had him pegged. And that totally turned him on.

Which was insane.

Probably just sexual frustration boiling over. He’d never been sexually frustrated before, so he didn’t know how that worked, exactly.

It’d only been a couple weeks since he’d rolled over to find Vanna missing from his bed, but he still couldn’t get her out of his mind. He saw her in his dreams and found himself waking in a needy sweat. He thought of her constantly. That was probably why he’d started mixing her up with Gia in his mind. Crazy since the last thing Vanna brought to mind was brilliant tech skills.

Enough was enough. Luke was tired of this feeling that something—something desperately important—was missing. He was talking to Gia, face-to-face, today.

Except she’d somehow managed to evade him at every meeting so far.

Not willing to risk it again, he headed for the door.

“I’ll be back,” he said to the room in general.

He’d had one woman escape this month because he’d let her call the shots. He’d be damned if he was going to lose another for the same reason. Before he got three feet out the door, his phone buzzed. Luke checked the text and grimaced. He had to report to Landin’s office immediately for a project update. And, if the last couple of weeks were any example, a long chat with marketing to coach them—again—on doing his old job.

Damn, this gig at Tri-Solutions was turning into a pain in the ass.

“You can’t keep hiding like a lovesick agoraphobic with wicked tech skills. What are you going to do?”

Gia shrugged off Caryn’s frantic question, focusing on typing up her notes instead of cringing at the sound of her favorite high heels rat-a-tat-tatting behind her.

Her friend was holding the heels hostage until Gia listened to her. She’d been spouting the same lecture for a week and a half now.

“What a mess. You’re totally screwed. You know that, right?”

No question about it, screwing had gotten her in this mess. Still, Gia wasn’t ready to admit defeat. Instead, she typed faster, as if her fingers flying over the keyboard could drown out the sound of stilettos hitting the linoleum.

“You have to do something. Get transferred. Quit the project. Call in sick. Something.”

Gia didn’t need to turn around to know the swift burst of air ruffling the back of her hair was caused by Caryn throwing her hands high in frustration.

“Gia!”

“I’m working.”

“You’re crazy.”

Gia’s fingers froze on the keyboard.

Her eyes closed tight, she sucked in a deep breath through clenched teeth. It didn’t help relieve her urge to scream.

She tried it again.

It took three more breaths before she could open her eyes and swivel her chair around to face her friend.

“I’m not crazy. I’m not quitting. And if I’m careful, I’m not in trouble.”

“Prove it. Why not? And how the hell do you think that’s possible?”

Gia blinked for a second, trying to sort out that response. Then she shrugged. “I don’t have to prove I’m not crazy. That goes without saying. And why would I quit? I’m so close to the next rung in the ladder I’d be
crazy
to leave now. As for how I think it’s possible, that’s what you call positive thinking.”

“Some people call it delusional.”

Some people were probably right. Gia grimaced. Then, fingers spread wide, she beseeched her friend to understand.

“I’ve worked hard for this promotion, Caryn. This is my shot. A chance to move up, to be more.” She wanted that so badly she could taste it. Wanted to be the one her mom bragged about, to be the friend with the great news to share. Since the idea of a great sex life was now off the table, she needed this, dammit. “This is so important to me. If I blow it, I’ll be back to writing boring code instead of designing wicked programs.”

“And if Luke Monroe finds out you’re lying to him, you’ll be looking for a new job.”

“Lying, how? If he asked me if I was the redhead who used his body as a stripper’s pole in Vegas two weeks ago, I’d tell him the truth. But he hasn’t asked. So I haven’t lied.”

Before she’d even uttered the last word, Gia was cringing. She didn’t need Caryn’s pitying headshake to know that was a pathetic excuse.

“I want this job.” She rubbed her forehead, where a nasty headache had taken up long-term residence. “That weekend was a fantasy. I really, really want it to stay in fantasyland. It doesn’t belong here, in reality.”

“And your feelings?” Caryn asked quietly.

Her feelings were pure misery, layered in unhappiness, sprinkled with intense longing.

Not prepared for how overwhelming those feelings were, Gia’s eyes filled before she could look away. She shook her head quickly and held up one hand to stop Caryn from saying anything.

A couple of deep breaths—if she kept this up, she was going to need plants in her office to recycle the oxygen—and she had control again.

“I miss the great sex,” she said, trying to sound upbeat.

“That weekend was more than sex, though.”

Through pained eyes, Gia inspected her friend’s face. There was no judgment there. Nor, for the first time since their margarita night, was there any hint of a pending lecture. A little of the tension drained from her spine and Gia gave a tiny shrug.

“It wasn’t supposed to be. I didn’t intend for it to be. And I don’t want it to be.”

“Sweetie, you’ve heard that saying about not always getting what we want, right?”

Gia rolled her eyes. Then, needing to hear the words to help her believe them, she offered a dismissive wave of her hand and gave Caryn a reassuring smile.

“Look, I’ll get over this. I’m sure it’s just fantasy overload or something. Like when you’re anticipating something for a really long time, you know? You build it up in your mind.” She thought of all the months she’d fantasized about Luke. All the times she’d sighed when she saw him in the hall. “Then you get the experience. And it’s even better than you’d imagined. It’s the kind of thing that wakes you in the middle of the night, your body trembling at just the memory of how great it felt.”

“Weren’t you supposed to be explaining how you’d get over this?” Caryn interrupted.

Oh, yeah. Gia bit her lip.

“I will get over it. What else can I do? I’d have to be an idiot to stay stuck on a guy like Luke.”

“Because?”

What was with the twenty questions? Gia wanted to say enough. But if she did, Caryn would be sure it was proof of, well, whatever it was she was trying to prove. So Gia ground her teeth into a stiff smile and kept on answering.

“Because he’s out of my league. Luke Monroe is special. The golden boy, you know. And now that he’s staying here” –damn him– “he’s off-limits. Toss in the fact that he’d justifiably think I lied to him if I ever came clean, and there you have it.”

When Caryn just stared, her brows arched in question, Gia sighed and finished with, “Like I said, I’d have to be an idiot to stay stuck on him.”

Which, given how she was feeling, meant she could get the word
idiot
tattooed on her ass any day now. A nice permanent reminder of her emotional stupidity.

“Maybe you’re right,” Caryn said slowly, finally sinking into a chair and sticking her feet out so she could admire Gia’s shoes. “I mean, that weekend was all about wild sex. Even the memory of it will fade soon.”

“Of course.” Then, frowning, Gia couldn’t stop herself from correcting, “It was fantastic sex, but there was more than just that. I mean, we talked. We shared. It was the weirdest thing. I could say anything, tell him any secret, and it felt, well, right.”

“That’s just the sex talking,” Caryn said dismissively. “I mean, what’s it like now? After you’ve spent so much time with him? Fully clothed time, I mean.”

Gia snickered.

“Now? Now I know that he’s just as sweet as he seemed naked. And he’s smart. Clever and nice and motivating. He sees what works and finds a way to help the team see it, too.” She went on for another few minutes singing Luke’s praises, describing how he’d brought the team together and kept everyone motivated. Then she noticed the glum look on Caryn’s face and broke off. “What?”

“You really are in love with him.”

“I am not,” Gia exclaimed, sounding as insulted as if her friend had just accused her of buying her shoes at the dollar store.

But she couldn’t meet Caryn’s steady gaze for more than a few seconds. Blinking, Gia looked at her computer screen. She tried to read the code, with Luke’s encouraging comments, but her eyes burned too hot to see.

She barely noticed her friend’s movements until she slid the Giuseppe Zanotti peep toes onto the floor next to her feet. Gia looked up, blinking away tears as Caryn balanced on one foot, then the other to put on her own shoes.

“You’ll get over him,” Caryn assured her quietly. “But like anything, the first step is admitting you have a problem.”

“Why didn’t you get that psych degree again?” Gia asked, trying to sound upbeat instead of defeated.

“Too neurotic.” Caryn’s hand was warm as she rubbed it over Gia’s shoulder. “You need to make some decisions.”

“Like, leaving-my-job decisions?”

It’d been so much easier when Luke was the one leaving. She’d never have gone for him if she’d had any clue that he’d stick around.

“Not the job, but maybe the project.”

Gia sniffed, blinking again until the code on her monitor came into focus. She loved this project. She’d been rocking it, too.

Still, she could only play this hide-and-seek game for so long before it all blew up at her. Hanging on now was pure stubbornness. Thanks to Luke, she knew she wasn’t average. She had the best sexual adventure story ever, and because he kept pushing her, questioning her on this project, prodding her to go further than she’d thought she could, she now realized she was good.

Not average.

Damned
good.

“I’ll go talk to Pete about a transfer,” she murmured.

There. She was safe. Her secret would stay tucked away in Vegas, where it belonged. She should have been relieved. And she would be, she promised herself. Just as soon as she got over the misery of knowing she had to stay away from Luke.

For good.

Caryn’s fingers tightened on her shoulder for a second before she moved away. Then, in that upbeat, overly cheerful tone people used when someone was dying or had gotten a really horrid haircut, she said, “At least now you can go back to wearing cute shoes.”

Gia forced a weak smile. She didn’t change into her peeptoes, though. Instead, with care and using the side of her foot, she slid the Giuseppe Zanottis to the side of her desk. She simply wasn’t ready for them yet.

She felt like pure crap. Misery wrapped around dejection soaked in hopelessness. And that was the kind of thing not even Giuseppe Zanottis could fix.

Luke stared at the whiteboard, the brightly colored writing a rainbow blur.

“Dude, you ready to go?”

“Head on without me,” he told Matt without looking toward the door. “I’m going to be here for a while.”

“Hitch in the project?”

Luke just shrugged. He wasn’t a sharing kind of guy. And this wasn’t something he wanted to talk about.

So he was glad when he finally heard his friend’s footsteps depart.

Luke looked at the board, noting the name of each team member and their progress. Gia was twice as far into her own assignment as anyone else.

She was also the only name on the board with a red line through it.

Transferred.

He ground his teeth together to keep from cussing.

The best player on his team.

Gone.

Figured.

Gia was a smart gal.