Fearless (40 page)

Says Austin, “He must have known he’d be a hero if he were killed in action, but he gave the go-ahead to humble himself, to let the world see those skeletons in his closet, to share his testimony.”

Pastor Smith was followed by Chaplain Springer, who said that Adam “surrendered only once, and that was to Jesus Christ.”

Jeff elicited laughs when he told about some of Adam’s stunts and described him as “the wild guy, the crazy guy. But,” he added, “I remember his compassion, and how he didn’t think about himself, ever.” He talked about how Adam had faced the young man with the loaded shotgun the night Jeff was stabbed. “Adam saved my life. He was a hero long before he was a SEAL.”

In the eulogy Heath Vance said, “Whether it was a game called wall ball we played as kids or training as a Navy SEAL or being a husband to his wife, a father to his kids, he defined commitment. Adam was not reckless; he was in command of his fears. He never cheated death; he earned life. He was driven in a way few of us can comprehend. To fail at something was acceptable. To fail to
try
was not.”

And in his remembrance, John Faas said, “Adam is the hardest man I have ever met. Over the course of his career he sustained more significant injuries than most of us combined, but he just kept on operating. Adam would not quit, he would not accept defeat. Not ever.

“Adam’s devout Christian faith matched his toughness and fearlessness. It was the cornerstone upon which he built his life and the compass that he turned to for guidance. To truly live one’s faith, in word and deed, is a mighty, and a daily, struggle; and Adam embraced that struggle and devoted himself to it.

“A couple of days before Adam died, he showed me a passage from one of the
books he had brought with him on this deployment, titled
Tender Warrior
, written by a Vietnam veteran who served in the Special Forces: ‘A warrior is one who possesses high moral standards and holds to high principles. He is willing to live by them, stand for them, spend himself in them, and, if necessary, die for them.’

“Adam was the rarest and truest of warriors in that he combined fierce and unwavering resolve on the battlefield with deep and genuine compassion off of it.” John paused, looking over the vast, hushed crowd, many of them wiping away tears. Christian was sobbing, the first time he’d broken down since Adam died.

“Adam was a protector and a defender, and his individual actions reflect the same purpose that is at the core of the actions of this country; a country that Adam loved dearly. No country has shed more of its own blood for the freedom of other people than America. One need only take a glance at recent history to see the proof of this. America turned the tide in World War II and defeated the murderous regimes of Nazi Germany and Imperialist Japan. America stood watch up on the walls of the Western World for the long years of the Cold War, and ultimately defeated communism, whose menace was responsible for the deaths of untold millions. And who is doing the heavy lifting now, in civilization’s current struggle with fundamentalist Islamic jihad? America.

“This fight is every bit as significant as the struggles against the fascism of the Third Reich and the murderous communism of the Soviet Union. All of these ideologies share a common thread: an utter lack of respect for the dignity of individual human life. And it is precisely that respect for individual human dignity that characterizes our Constitution and our willingness to help those who cannot defend themselves.

“Ultimately this is more than just a fight between America and the Taliban or al Qaeda, just as World War II was more than just the Allies versus the Axis. This is a struggle between the forces that would protect and nourish human dignity and freedom, and those that would destroy it. Adam Brown was a part of that struggle. It is a struggle that is of eternal significance, and Adam’s contribution to it is of eternal significance.

“A week ago, on Saint Patrick’s Day, Adam’s team was given a challenging mission. They were tasked to go into a remote area of Afghanistan that was without American presence. A place that was a sanctuary for the insurgents, a place where they felt safe and beyond the reach of the American military. No one else but members of
Adam’s team had the skill, fortitude, or audacity to infiltrate this area undetected and engage the enemy in their own backyard. This was exactly the kind of challenge that Adam Brown relished.

“In the fight that followed, Adam acted aggressively and selflessly. He fell protecting his teammates. Adam died a warrior’s death. Adam Brown is a hero.”

John stopped again. Willing his composure, he took a deep breath and continued. “Adam, we miss you, brother. We miss your goofy grin, your crazy eye, your hilarious stories, and your warm-hearted presence. In the days to come we will miss your untiring work ethic, and your fearlessness under fire. We will aspire to the example that you set for us, and we will tell the young warriors who join us about you and the standard that you set.

“Mr. and Mrs. Brown, on behalf of the men of Adam’s team, I want to tell you that your son Adam was a man of the highest caliber, the truest character. Adam lived by his faith and by his principles and he did not compromise, period.

“Kelley, Adam was our brother, and you are our sister. We will support you always, and whatever your need, great or small, we will be there for you.

“Nathan and Savannah, we are your uncles and love you very much. Now, and as you grow older, it will be our honor to share with you the man that your father was, as we knew him: warm-hearted, goofy country boy, rabid Razorbacks fan, patriot, hero, warrior-brother, friend.

“And to Adam’s brothers in arms: Today we mourn the passing of our brother and we celebrate his life and the example he set for us. Tomorrow, we avenge him. Today we honor the passing of Adam’s unconquerable soul into the eternal glory of Christ Jesus and into the halls of Valhalla; tomorrow, we dispatch the souls of Adam’s enemies to the hell that surely awaits them. Tomorrow, we bring that hell to their doorstep.

“Long live the brotherhood.”

Adam was buried in a small cemetery bordered by woods and farmland, the funeral a coming together of his past and present, the crowd a checkerboard of starched Navy uniforms and citizens dressed in their Sunday best. In front of the casket, Kevin and Brian had lined up chairs, exactly twenty-four, the number on Adam’s high school jersey that had been his favorite ever since. With the family’s approval, Kevin and
Brian had arranged his military burial, with full honors, for the twenty-fourth day of March.

The front page of the Browns’ hometown newspaper, the day after Adam’s funeral.

The twenty-one-gun salute got the cows mooing, making Austin smile.
So, Adam
, he thought.
This is Arkansas. It’s perfect
.

A wall of men in blue faced the casket throughout the service, until the flag was lifted and ceremoniously folded and Captain Pete Van Hooser—Adam’s commander from SEAL Team FOUR—broke ranks to present it to Kelley.

Janice and Larry, too, received a flag, then the chaplain closed in prayer. Upon his final words, Van Hooser removed the golden Trident from his chest and walked to the casket. He had pinned Adam with his Trident when Adam was born a SEAL a decade before, and today he would complete the cycle and pin his casket.

Setting the Trident at the head of the casket, Van Hooser raised his arm, clenched his fist, and brought it down with a
thud
—driving the pin into wood. One by one, every SEAL present removed his Trident and rendered the same honor to his fallen teammate. The only sound was the
Thud! Thud! Thud!
as more than fifty Tridents were pounded in.

After the burial, strangers walked up to the SEALs and thanked them for their
service. A woman shook Kevin’s hand and asked if he had been friends with Adam. “One of my best,” he replied, then asked the woman how she had known Adam. She told him that Adam had noticed her standing awkwardly by herself at a school function in the ninth grade … and had asked her to dance.

Others reunited—like Richard Williams and Ryan Whited, who hadn’t seen each other in more than a decade. Janice and Larry embraced Captain Roger Buschmann, then Larry thanked him for what he’d done for Adam. “We were so worried about you when you vouched for him,” he said. “We were worried that we were going to really do you some harm if he messed up.”

Now retired, Captain Buschmann said, “You know, Adam thanked me too every time he’d get a promotion. He’d call and say, ‘I owe my life to you, sir.’ And I told him what I’ll tell you both now: bringing Adam in was the best thing I ever did the whole time I was in the Navy.”

In fact, Captain Buschmann had second-guessed this very decision when he’d learned of Adam’s death. “I don’t think
anything’s
ever hit me that hard,” he says. “But I’m proud I had a part in his life. Adam Brown epitomizes exactly what I would want to be myself and what I would wish for any child. He epitomizes what a real man is: he’s honorable, he cares deeply about his family. He’s not just a tough guy; he’s a gentle giant, no question. He’s one of the most unique men I’ve ever known. If you have a son and your son turns out to be half the person Adam Brown was, warts and all, it’s the luckiest day of your life.”

If ever a story could come full circle, it was the headstone donated to the Browns by Dick Holden, whose business was making memorial markers and whose thirty-five-year-old son, Richard, was the boy with Down syndrome whom Adam had stood up for in middle school. When Dick told Richard that Adam had gone to be with Jesus, tears ran down his son’s face. “I miss him,” Richard replied. “I miss Adam Brown.”

Once Adam was laid to rest, the entire Brown family headed straight to Virginia Beach for a second, private memorial service on March 26 at the Little Creek Naval Base. There, more of his teammates provided remembrances, including Austin, who recounted the blade incident, and Christian, who explained how Adam had gone from being his competitive nemesis at BUD/S to a best friend.

Standing before a crowd of hundreds, seven-year-old Savannah demonstrated that the fearless gene ran strong in her when she gave her father one final gift. Adam
had always loved it when she sang to him, so she did just that, performing an impromptu solo of “Proud to Be an American.”

“That was so brave, Little Baby,” Kelley told her when she hurried back to her seat.

“I know,” said Savannah. “I did it for Daddy.”

A little over a week after Adam’s death, Kelley asked Larry to drive out to that special property in Hot Springs where she and Adam had stood in the tall grass and envisioned the home they wanted Nathan and Savannah to grow up in. The lot had been sold, but Larry later located the owner; after hearing the circumstances, the man immediately sold it to Kelley for the same price he’d paid.

Kelley, Nathan, and Savannah stayed in Virginia Beach while Larry championed the planning and building of Kelley and Adam’s dream home. Though this provided a distraction for everyone, Adam’s absence was no less painful.

While Nathan’s and Savannah’s grief came in waves of despair that would last a couple of days or sometimes a few weeks, they were able to live normally in between, reassuring Kelley that her children would one day be okay. Kelley’s grief, however, was constant—and agonizing.

In her darkest moments of despair, she asked God again and again why Adam had been taken instead of her: the survivor’s guilt of a military spouse.
He was the fun one
, she thought.
The kids will remember the fun stuff. They are going to remember all that, but I’m not the fun one. We were a partnership and God took the wrong one
. Then she would bury her face in a pillow and sob.

Unable to sleep one night, Kelley was looking through a box of old papers when she found a letter she’d never seen, written in Adam’s familiar script at least nine years before:

As Adam always did in his letters, he added a bit of Scripture.

A calm came over Kelley as she read this postscript, a flood of resolve and renewed faith. She knew at that moment that Adam had intended for her to find the letter when she needed it the most. He had always said that the answer to anything you ever question could be found in the Bible.