Fearless (35 page)

Thane must sense her. He comes out of his study with Michael in tow and stops, looks straight at her and winks. She kisses Amber's cheek, then mine and whispers, ‘I'll catch you both later.'

As I watch her walk over to Thane there's a sense of freedom inside me I've never felt around her before. It's such a relief that I smile and sigh contentedly.

‘Still can't take your eyes off her,' Amber remarks, her mouth drawn tight, her eyes unable to meet mine. And suddenly she's off, manoeuvring through the angels in the food line, pushing her way out the back door.

By the time I make it out she's halfway to the stables. ‘Hey, wait up!'

She stops. I read this as a good sign and run over. But when I try to take her hand she turns and glances into the shadows around the barn.

I thrust my hands into my jeans pockets. ‘I was smiling at Ebony walking away because, well, for the first time since I met her, I felt nothing. I had no obsessive thoughts. Amber,
all I'm feeling around Ebony now is a sense of relief that I'm finally,
finally
, free.'

‘
Free?
'

‘Yep. You see, something happened between us that's hard to explain.'

‘I heard about it. Everyone has. Ebony healed you and brought you back to life with her tongue in your mouth.'

‘That's right and … wait … No, there was no –'

‘Jordan, don't get me wrong, I'm really grateful Ebony saved your life.'

I try to take her hand again but she pulls away. ‘Listen, Amber, please. There
was
something special about the kiss of life Ebony gave me, but not in the way you're thinking. It's as if she not only kick-started my heart but somehow freed me from my obsession with loving her.'

‘
Really?
'

I nod. ‘Ebony didn't just give me my life back that day, she gave me back my ability to love.'

Her eyes search mine. ‘Jordan, what are you saying?'

‘That I don't love Ebony any more. And I think … No, I mean I
know
that I'm … falling in love with you.'

She reaches for my hands. ‘Stop talking,' she says. ‘Don't say another word. Just come here and kiss me.'

And with a grin I can't keep off my face, I do exactly as she says.

43

Ebony

The party is fun, with lots of angels turning up and heaps of Brothers from the monastery. Some of the married angels, like Uriel and Tash, bring children, and since the three girls that came with them are all over eighteen they look more like their siblings. My natural parents will look young too, I suppose. I really need to get my head around this before I meet them. They decided to wait for me in Avena so our first meeting can be in a more intimate setting, where we can take our time getting to know each other. Shae assures me that I have nothing to be nervous about, and she would know. They're her parents too. It's just hard to imagine what meeting them will be like.

Since returning from Empyrean I've been trying to locate my uncle Zavier, who disappeared once Luca banished him from entering Skade with me. Apparently, he turned up at the monastery the day he returned to Earth, pleading to be taken in. To atone for his crimes he asked to serve his life out as a Brother. And since he's immortal, that will be a long, long time. Even though Zavier was pivotal in my abductions, in the end he did try to save Nathaneal from Luca's trap. I would like to thank him for that. But everyone
is leaving now, and since he hasn't shown up, he either didn't accept my invitation or Monsignor Lawrence didn't allow him to attend.

I'm standing on the front deck with Nathaneal beside me, keeping me from falling asleep by tickling me under my ribs at regular intervals.

I might be falling asleep standing up, but I haven't enjoyed myself so much since … well, I can't remember. I'm especially enjoying watching my best friends looking chummy and close and adorable.

‘What are you smiling about?' Jordan asks when he catches me staring.

‘Oh, nothing.'

‘Are you sure about that?'

I look pointedly at their linked hands. They share a secret smile and Amber's eyes sparkle brighter than the stars. I can't remember when either of them looked this happy. Clearly it wasn't me Jordan needed in his life.

Nathaneal hurries to open the front door when he sees Amber's parents coming out, along with Mum and Dad behind them.

Dad comes straight over with a big hug for me. ‘Promise to visit us before you leave.'

‘Absolutely, Dad.' He's not asking for much, and this promise is easy to make, saying goodbye is going to be the hard part.

Reuben gives Amber permission to sleep over so the tw
o o
f us can catch up, even though this is the first I'm hearing of these arrangements. As soon as our parents have driven off and we come back inside, Jordan and Amber
wish us goodnight and head upstairs, their hands still locked together.

I can't help but giggle, while Nathaneal smiles and rolls his eyes.

We walk to my bedroom holding hands. At the door Nathaneal plants butterfly kisses all over my face. ‘Good-night, love,' he says with a moan of deep longing.

‘Do you want to … come in?'

He snags his bottom lip and tilts his head slightly. ‘You should sleep.'

‘I could sleep in your arms?'

‘Yeah, but then I wouldn't sleep.' With a last lingering kiss, he leaves.

In my room I change into a singlet top and a pair of pyjama pants, slide under the covers and feel my bones and muscles sigh in relief.

I drop straight off to sleep, only to wake with a jolt soon after with pain in my side. I hardly ever get sick, so I don't have much to compare this with, but the pain deepens quickly and before long I'm rolling over and curling my knees up into my chest. Unsure what to do, or how long this pain will last, I sit in my wicker chair for a while and contemplate making a hot chocolate or searching the house for a hot water bottle. But then …

Arghhh!

Shooting pain darts up both sides.

Slipping on my dressing gown, I head downstairs before I wake the others. It's probably something I ate at the party and will soon pass, or … dare I dream it could be …

At the back door, I swap my dressing gown for a jacket
and beanie hanging on a hook. Instinct and habit has me heading down to the stables to snuggle up with Shadow. I missed him terribly when I was away and I'm dreading the day I will be saying goodbye.

But midway to the stables the pain hits deeper, shooting under my ribcage, and I drop, gasping, to the ground, which is already moist with early dew. I try to crawl back to the house, but moving is impossible. So I curl up into a ball and do the only thing I can under the circumstances.

I scream.

Lights go on instantly on the top floor. A door bangs, and I'm comforted by the knowledge that help is coming.

Nathaneal arrives first as I expected; he probably leaped off his bedroom balcony. He tucks his wings away, hunkering down beside me. ‘Talk to me, Ebbie.'

‘I'm hurting.'

‘Where? Here?' He cradles my head in his lap, carefully pulling off my beanie.

‘No,' I answer. ‘My ribs and …
argh
!'

‘Your back?'

‘Uh-huh.'

‘OK. OK.'

‘Do you know what this is?'

‘I think I do.' A grin begins to form but swiftly disappears when I groan. ‘It's all right, sweetheart.' He puts his arms around me. ‘I've got you.'

‘I heard her scream,' Amber says after a breathless run across the yard with Jordan close behind her.

‘I peeked in her room but her bed was empty,' says Jordan.

The pain eases a little, giving me a slight reprieve. But
then my skin begins to glow and suddenly I'm lighting up the entire area around me. Amber and Jordan stagger backwards, throwing their arms across their eyes.

‘Holy crap!' Jordan shrieks. ‘What's happening to her?'

I'd like to know that too.

Still holding me, Nathaneal rocks gently. ‘It's nothing you can't handle, but we need to get your jacket off.'

Getting my jacket off becomes a challenge when the pain intensifies and I stiffen all over. It grows hard to breathe, and harder to take. It's like I have a rocket under my ribs that wants to launch itself through my spine. I try not to scream when he peels the jacket off one arm.

Amber runs in and helps with the other sleeve. ‘This will pass soon, hon,' she says. ‘You'll see.'

‘It's like … bones pushing against my skin. And …
ohh!
Something is happening. Everyone, you have to move back. Get back.' I lift up into a squat and notice they're all still standing around me. Somehow I have to make them understand they're going to get hurt. ‘Something is building inside me.'

‘You're not going to explode,' Jordan says, whispering to Nathe with a sideways glance, ‘Is she?'

They're still not moving away, and I have no choice but to get up on my feet, shove my hands at them in a get-back motion and scream, ‘Everyone, move!
Move! Move!
'

The three of them suddenly fly through the air, coming down hard on the moist grass some ten or so metres away.

‘Sorry! Sorry!' I call out as they scramble back.

‘It's all right,' Nathaneal says, reaching me first after checking Amber and Jordan are OK. ‘We're all fine. How
long have you been able to do that?' he asks with pride in his eyes.

‘First time, but I've …
argh
… suspected I could for a while.' The pain changes, shifts down into my hips and my glowing body ignites into a lighthouse multiplied hundreds of times.

‘Whoa, what's happening to her?' Jordan's frustrations soar. ‘Are you gonna heal her now, or what? Look at her. Should we call an ambulance? Thane, do something or tell us what to do.'

‘You're not helping by taking your fear out on Nathaneal,' Amber tells him gently as she plucks some grass bits off her top. He looks at her and she says, ‘I'm scared too.'

‘Nathe,' I ask, ‘is this how it's supposed to happen?'

‘I'm not entirely sure. You are unique, baby. But I can tell it will be over soon.'

‘Good.'

He takes my hand and squeezes it. ‘Remember, you've been waiting for this to happen. We all have.'

‘What are you two talking about?' Amber asks.

I nod at Nathaneal and he tells them, ‘Ebrielle is getting her wings.'

A ripping sound warns me their arrival is imminent. A sense of my insides stretching past where they should reach throws me off balance. Pinpoint electric shocks run up an
d do
wn my arms and suddenly I'm jolted backwards and lifted into the air two, three metres. The ripping, jerking and tugging go on and on, lifting me a little higher each time. Finally everything stops – the tugging, the ripping, the pain – and I start to come down, floating at first, but then I
drop, hitting the ground on all fours.

My wings are out. Nathaneal and Amber and Jordan come running to me even though I'm still glowing like a lighthouse. Nathaneal reaches up and touches the wing swaying above my right shoulder. He looks stunned, his eyes filled with awe. But all I can see is something huge and white and sparkling.

Sparkling?

‘They're so
beautiful
,' Amber says.

Jordan simply stares with his mouth hanging open.

I twist round, angling my head this way and that to see them for myself. ‘Oh, wow.'

When I was eight years old Mum took me to the village community centre to watch a performance by a local ballet ensemble. Taken with the dancers' beautiful costumes, Mum purchased the fabric and made me a similar one to wear at home. The dancers were dressed as fairies, their outfits created from a fabric called gossamer. This is what my wings resemble. They're delicate and transparent and they shimmer like gossamer.

I tug one down for a closer look.

Startled, Nathaneal cries out, ‘Easy, babe.'

‘Don't worry; I'll be gentler next time. That kind of really hurt.'

He grins and we all watch as a tiny white feather the size of my littlest fingernail falls into my palm.

While Nathaneal inspects the feather, Amber and Jordan examine my wings with gentle, inquisitive fingers. And it's so strange because I can feel their light touch. ‘My wings are sensitive.'

After a few minutes of close examination, we agree there are eight wings in total, and they're all feathers – thousands, maybe even millions. Some are transparent, though most are white or opaque. The largest ones are as long as a pigeon or dove's tail feather, gradually decreasing in size all the way to the outside edge where miniature gold feathers appear seamless and so tiny I would need a microscope to pick out a single one.

Nathaneal is overwhelmed. He can't seem to stop staring, his eyes open wider than usual, his fingers trembling. Like now, as he holds his hand beneath a wing, he marvels at its sheer diaphanous texture.

And it strikes me then, somewhere deep inside, that these are
my
wings. They don't just belong to me. They're not simply a means to give me flight. They
are
me. Nathaneal stands still and silent, watching my expressions change as I take in my wings, so different from any others I've seen. ‘They really are beautiful, aren't they?'

‘That they are.' He smiles.

‘How do I put them away? Can you teach me? Would now be a good time?'

He takes my hands and clasps them between his. ‘Now is a perfect time, or you might find it hard to sleep with those wings in your bed.'

‘Oh. Ha ha.'

He grins, enjoying teasing me. ‘But first we should work on your glow.'

‘Yep,' Jordan calls out, ‘sleeping across the hall from a lighthouse could prove difficult too.'