Fear of the Dead (9 page)

“
And what is going on here?”

There were several lamps in the kitchen, all hooked up to the portable power outlet that Linus had been using to power his radio. That was why the kitchen was brighter than usual. Grace had only ever kept one electric lantern in the kitchen for use at night. It ran on AA batteries, which made it efficient since the store had mounds of AAs. But the lamps in the kitchen now were plug-only. And for that they were vastly more effective.

Vanessa thumbed the tip of a plastic fork.

“
Linus says he’s the greatest chef in the world. I told him that wasn’t saying much. And so to spite me, he’s making quiche.”

“
It’s what all us connoisseurs of fine cuisine do. We spite people with food.”

“
How are you making quiche?” asked Grace curiously.

“
Egg beaters mostly. I know it’s a pretty big handicap. Milk’s too old to use, and the crust is getting a little rough. But the blue cheese is still good. And to top it off we still have some canned spinach. It won’t be perfect, but it should be good enough.”

Linus looked different now. He seemed happier, somehow. He was smiling even after the conversation they’d had earlier in the day. Grace had never seen him so alive before. Not when they met for the first time, and even less so since he spent his days married to his radio.

The change in spirit along was enough to inspire her own vitality. Seeing him the way she saw him now had been welcome enough to alleviate the weight of dread hanging over her like a cloud.

“
I’ve never heard of anyone baking in a grill before,” added Grace to their conversation.

“
Desperate times my love.”

Grace smirked. And the sheer volume of light in the kitchen continued to faze her. Even on a sunny day outside it was never this bright. Grace missed just how much a bit of indoor lighting could do to a place.

It was dazzling, to say the least.

9:23 PM

Time flew by fast. Vanessa, Grace, and Linus enjoyed a long strings of conversations and wine as they waited for their blue cheese quiche. Grace couldn’t remember how long it’d been since she had so much fun. They shared stories about their lives, about who they were before and what they’d do after things settled back down and civilization returned.

“
You know what this place needs?” Linus asked.

“
A better chef,” Vanessa mocked, and made sniffing noises at the air. Grace laughed harder than she felt she should have.

But after all the time their dinner sat in the grill, Grace silently hoped that the food came out better than it smelled. Linus said the scent was from the blue cheese. Vanessa contemplated out loud whether or not it was a good thing, while Grace did the same in her head.

After Vanessa’s guess failed to satisfy his question however, Linus answered it himself.

“
Some music.”

He told them to wait as they were while he took a flashlight to the electronics department. He came back lugging a cardboard box, which according to the printed image contained a Panasonic stereo system. Linus opened it, tossed away the styrofoam covering, and plugged the brand new stereo inside the last open slot on his outlet.

“Anyone have something they want to listen to?”

Of the CDs in the media aisle, Vanessa insisted they play Elton John. Tiny Dancer was the first song on their chosen disc. Linus got up and shook his body in a hokey parody of what might have passed for dancing to a blind lunatic. Grace jeered at him in jest, but when he held out his hand and asked her to join, she couldn’t refuse. Grace picked herself up off the seat and followed suit.

Vanessa pointed fingers at the both of them. Grace laughed at herself, and so did Linus. They danced and sang with the song until dinner was finally done.

As it turned out no one appreciated the quiche, least of all the chef himself. Linus threw it away, and they settled for boiled potatoes and peas.

Chapter Seven

Day Six

Friday

April 25, 2003

2:04 AM

Dear Lord,

Thank you for tonight. It was just what I needed. After that long dinner, I think I’m more tired now than I can remember. Vanessa is trying to sleep, so I am talking as quietly as I can. I know I should get some rest too. And I will. But I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate how much you’ve done for all of us.

Seeing Linus happy for the first time is always a welcome change. I thank you for helping him find some piece of joy. We all need it at a time like this. Keep blessing him oh Lord. Maybe in due time he’ll come to appreciate all the wonderful things you’ve done for him. Who knows? Maybe he’ll even pray.

You’ve made him happy today. And for the time being that’s more than I could have asked for. I’ll do what I can to bring his soul your way. But for the time being, know that in this dark chapter you have given me more reason to believe that the best is yet to come. And for that, I thank you with all my heart.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

11:03 AM

Grace woke up three hours later than usual. She'd had a late night, and appropriately enough for that an even later afternoon. Grace couldn't remember the last time she woke up at noon. It wasn't like her. Not even now, with the patterns of her life turned upside down.

Things were different this morning though. She woke up late, and yet she felt oddly refreshed. Not fatigued like she normally would have felt after a late night combined with wine and dancing.

She knew it wasn't good for her. Neither the wine nor the dancing. At least not for her age. Grace had a low tolerance for alcohol, and she couldn't sway half as effortlessly or as painlessly as she would have liked.

Still, for what it was worth, Grace wanted to do it again sometime. Maybe even tonight. She’d skip the alcohol this time around. Or at the very least take less. If they all shared dinner again tonight (And Grace would insist that they did), she would do what she could to churn some fun out of the occasion. Maybe try a new recipe. Cook something together. Or maybe they could all play a game. The store had ample board games. Maybe they could try doing that. Whatever the case, if they could pass the time together, Grace was happy enough.

On that note, she decided to pay Linus a visit, and thank him for the late night dinner. Vanessa was still asleep, so she tried not to invite too much noise. She made it to the office, and had to stop for a moment to contain her ever-widening grin. She steadied herself, then opened the door.

“
Good morn…”

The room was empty.

“
Wha…”

She paused and scanned the area. Linus wasn’t there. Neither was his radio.

ZShe asked herself if Linus had simply gone somewhere else for the time being. Maybe he was busy doing something else. But what?

Back inside the store, stocks of the batteries he used to power his portable outlet were gone. And all throughout the food aisles, scores of packed and canned foods were missing. Some of Linus’ favorite snacks had been taken off the shelves entirely.

Grace didn’t want to believe what was swirling inside her mind, but increasingly it was becoming difficult.

She looked around for any trace of him.

“
Linus!”

Her voice carried around the hollow confines of the store, but it didn’t earn her an answer. Nothing, no matter how loud or how desperately it was yelled, gave her any response from Linus. It wasn’t until long after searching the store high and low that Grace grew tired of looking, and finally allowed herself to see the evidence for what it was. At long last she checked the garage, where Costco parked their delivery vehicles. A key was missing from the pin board, along with a truck outside.

Linus was gone now. And there was no telling when, if, he would ever return.

12:19 PM

Dear Lord,

Four months ago my grandsons were with me when we were fleeing the city. Tatsuki…my son, and his wife were having their anniversary in Yokohama. He left his children, Ken and Samuel, with me while they were gone. Ken was eight. Samuel was five.

They were good kids.

When the demons came was the day that Tatsuki and Miriam were supposed to return from their trip. Their plane was supposed to land at three. The kids and I waited for them at home. I turned on the news, and that was when I heard about what happened in Sacramento. People in the news said that the demons were spreading fast, and that they didn’t know why or how. I was worried, so I called Tatsuki’s phone. He never picked up. I called the airport, to make sure that his plane would still come back on time.

No one answered.

I turned on the news, and an evacuation had already started. The military was taking people to…wherever they were taking them. There was a map up on the television, with a man talking over it like it was the weather forecast. He said that the red zones on the map were unsafe for travel; infected. The circle went all around the center of California, and LAX was in the orange zone.

The newsman told us that we had to leave. So I did. I took the children with me, and I drove. And while we were on the road I tried to call my son again. He didn’t pick up. He never picked up. And that was when I started to cry.

The kids kept on asking me what was going on. Where was mom and dad. They knew as much as I did, but I didn’t want to tell them that. I was so worried that my mind started going ten places at once. I was so worried that I…I blanked from the road. And before I could see it, a truck was headed in front of my car.

There was too little time to react. We crashed, and the children…

I killed what I had left of my son.

Any time that someone leaves the store, a part of me goes back to that day. Even if they’re only gone for a few seconds, I never know for sure how long they’re going to be out. Eli and Atton have been gone for two days. No. Three. And now Linus.

For all my life I’ve done my best to do right by you. But I don’t know if I can do it any longer. You tell us that everything that happens is a part of your will; that nothing in life happens without your permission. If so, then why is it that everyone I have ever taken care of leaves without ever saying goodbye?

If you have the answer, I would like to know.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen.

2:26 PM

Exactly as she’d gotten so used to doing since her stay, Grace sat outside and watched the city while time passed her by. Grace sunk in her chair, and feelings of emotional distress wore on her face. She looked up at the sky in a resigned gaze.

“
You should have told me.”

The sky said nothing in return. It remained as it was and had always been; faceless, omnipotent, and inhuman.

Where was God now?

Grace heard Vanessa enter the roof before she opened the door.

“
Grace, are you alright?”

Vanessa knelt beside her.

She shook, and sighed. As she reflected more on more on Linus’ absence, the conversation she had with him yesterday came and never went away. The one where he mentioned what would have been his reason for leaving.

“
I should have listened to him.”

“
You couldn’t have known he would go,” Vanessa replied.

It wasn’t true. Linus did say he was going. He suggested it right in front of her face. She saw the sign, and yet she did nothing to dissuade him from going. Now Linus was gone, along with Atton and Eli. That left only her and Vanessa in the store. And for how long?

Their numbers were dwindling. Grace had little left in her to hope for, but she spent her last bit of optimism praying that their numbers wouldn’t taper even more.

“
Why don’t you come inside?” Vanessa asked. “It’s getting cold out here.”

It was, wasn’t it? Somehow Grace hadn’t noticed until Vanessa brought it up.

A rush of air passed by, causing her arms to shiver with the wind, and her teeth to clatter. Still, Grace didn’t want to leave.

“
I think that I’d like to stay here for a while,” she answered back, retaining her hospitable calm and civility.

“
Are you sure?”

Grace looked up, held Vanessa’s hand.

“
I’m fine.”

“
Well, let me know if you need anything.”

“
I will.”

Vanessa went downstairs, giving Grace all the privacy she needed for the moment being. She fell on her knees once again to pray, but she said nothing. Rather than talk to God, Grace kept an air of silence, thought to herself, decided for once to be alone.

5:49 PM