Fear Me (36 page)

“It’s how I feel. Fuck normal.”

“Keiran, you –”

“Enough questions. Let’s go.” Without warning he grabbed my neck and began walking me backwards to the stairs.

“I’m not done!”

“I don’t care. I need to be inside of you now, he whispered” I relaxed against his hold and let him cart me off upstairs. We reached the landing and I could swear I heard moaning and a distinct thumping sound coming from Keenan’s bedroom across the hall.

Just as Keiran opened his bedroom door, Sheldon’s voice shrieked out, “Quit playing Marco Polo with my ass, Christopher Columbus. This isn’t an exploration so you aren’t putting your ding dong in this donut hole!”

I was laughing hysterically as Keiran forced
me into his bedroom and shut the door.

* * *

When Keiran finally released me I backed toward the bed but stopped when he didn’t follow. He remained by the door wearing an uncomfortable expression. I stood there, motionless as I watched him watch me. He didn’t pounce on me as I expected. His demeanor was different from all the other times we’d had sex. The angry lust that was normally present in his eyes was missing. I moved toward him, thinking he was playing another one of his mind games and wanted me to make the first move. During the weeks he made me his personal sex slave Keiran would often fuck my mind harder than he fucked my body.

“Lake?” he asked, stopping me in my tracks.

“Yes, Keiran?”

“I want,” he swallowed deeply as a look of uncertainty passed through his eyes and I realized this was what Keiran looked like vulnerable. “I can’t explain what I want to do with you right now but will you just…let me?”

I didn’t answer immediately. In just a few words he managed to make me feel like a virgin all over again and not the girl who secretly craved his hard, rough, angry sex and mind games. This could very well be another mind game…in fact I knew it was but I didn't seem to care. I also didn’t realize I was nodding my head until he pushed off the door and stalked toward me. The look is his eyes although softer still made me feel very much like the prey he’d always made me feel.

When he finally reached me, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. “Fuck,” he groaned unexpectedly wrapped his hand around my neck again, nipping my cheek and then throat. “Are you going to make me explain myself?” he asked gruffly.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and stoop up on the tips of my toes to reach his lips. “No. Whatever it is, I…I want it.” I shouldn't want it but I did and somehow I knew his behavior was because of what happened downstairs. Did I push him too far?

He undressed me slowly and then laid me down on his bed before undressing himself. All the while he kept his eyes on me as he stared at my body hungrily. When he was fully naked he stood above me, stroking his cock, preparing it for whatever punishment he needed to inflict on me. “I don’t know where to start first,” he said and bit his lip. His eyes lowered and I couldn’t help but admire how sexy he looked.

“You can start by kissing me,” I whispered nervously. “I always love that.” With a smirk he leaned down to kiss my lips. It quickly turned into a kissing frenzy as we devoured each other’s mouths. When the need became too strong I started to pull on his body. I needed to feel his hard body molding to mine and his weight on me. It was something highly erotic about that to me.

“You’re so fucking sweet,” he groaned. Being who he was I didn't know whether to take that as I compliment or not. His hand trailed my leg and around my thigh inching up where I needed him most. “But you taste so much sweeter here,” he whispered, slowly slipping two fingers inside of me. I whimpered against his mouth and lifted my hips into his plunging fingers. He crooked his fingers and increased the pressure while keeping his rhythm until I came around his thick fingers, soaking the bed beneath me. “Turn around,” he demanded before I could catch my breath.

I was taken aback by the strong tone of his voice and didn’t immediately obey. I searched his eyes that were now burning with intensity and the need to give in to his urges. There was none of the cold distance I was used to in his eyes so I turned around despite my nervousness and settled myself on my knees. I braced myself for the hard thrust of his cock but it never came. Instead I felt him plant soft kisses across the back of my thighs and his hands rubbing my bottom with soothing strokes.

Just as I was on the verge of begging, his tongue swept across my swollen lips and I let out a small cry as my pussy welcomed the pleasure his mouth created. By the time he was satisfied, I’d come twice and was left a writhing mess on his bed.

The bed dipped under his weigh while I was still catching my breath. He turned me until I was settled on my side and then spooned me from behind and wrapped his arm around my waist. “Keiran?” I turned my head around to face him wondering if
he
changed his mind.

“Lift your leg for me.”

I did what he asked without a second thought. The look in his eyes told me he still wanted me. He pulled me closer to him until every inch of our skin was touching. We’d never been this intimate before. He’d always held some part of himself away from me whenever he took me but now I felt surrounded by him.

He brought his top leg in between mine and began entering me slowly. The sensation alone stirred my need to come and when he gritted his teeth I knew he felt the same. It felt like forever had come and gone when he was finally fully seated inside me. He rested his head on top of mine and took a deep, shuddering breath.

“This is killing me,” he groaned. He lifted his head and peered into my eyes. He was so close that I could see the sweat on his brow. I shifted a little to see more of his face and when he groaned again, his eyes fluttered and his gaze lost focus. “Don’t – ah shit, don’t –,” he grunted as my walls clenched and pulled at his cock. I grinned up at him and portrayed innocence.

“Don’t do what?” I asked sweetly. A part of me wanted him to lose control and take me harder than he’d ever taken me before.

He narrowed his eyes at me and then flexed his hips once, driving his cock hard into me where he breached my cervix. I released a sharp, cry and whimpered against his lips. “That was your only warning,” he gritted before kissing me softly.

He thrust into me again but this time he was surprisingly gentle as he continued to rock against me. The new position let me feel him in places I’d never felt him before so when he rolled me onto my back and reentered me swiftly, I almost protested but the sheer wonder in his eyes as he gazed down at me stopped me.

The raw emotion in his eyes overwhelmed my own. I gripped his hair in my hands feeling the dark silky strands slip through them and bit his lip. His lips parted and he deepened his strokes, moving us further up the mattress.
He was letting go.

“Keiran?” I shuddered out.

“Yeah, baby?”

“I love the way you make love…but I
need
the way you
fuck
me.” His body stiffened and his eyes hardened when I said ‘make love’ but I didn’t get the chance to take it back or realize my mistake. He spit out a harsh curse, sat up on his haunches and yanked my hips off the bed leaving my lower half suspended in the air as he delivered short, brutal strokes that left me gasping for breath and clawing at the sheets.

“Keiran, wait,” I whimpered.

“Shut up.” His hand closed around my throat, squeezing and cutting off my air supply. The panic and the feeling of him moving inside me was a dangerous combination and after the fifth or sixth drive of his cock, I came on a piercing scream. He watched me come, seemingly mesmerized, while keeping a hard rhythm inside my trembling body.

“There is nothing more sexy than watching you come around my cock,” he growled and then tossed his head back. I felt his fingers digging into my hips and saw the veins in his neck stretch and knew he was coming.

We each laid in silence, trying to catch our breaths and our thoughts. I wanted to run and hide but that would be admitting my feelings for him.

“I should take you home,” he said absently.
Too late you dumb twat…you already did.

Ever heard of the walk of shame? It was when a one-night stand had to endure embarrassment after getting fucked, literally and figuratively. Despite, what people may think, I have some respect for myself. It’s ironic really because after a knockdown, drag out fight, I stayed. Why? Because he didn’t get to sex me the way he did and then kick me out. But I had been too busy celebrating my victory to realize that I may have won the battle but not the war…well the war was multiple orgasms.

Since I stayed, Keiran didn’t leave me alone the entire night. In the middle of our fight he shoved me onto his naked lap and made me ride him until I was spent and even then continued take me throughout the night. I knew he regretted our one true spark of intimacy so he tried erasing it by being the same cold bastard he’d always been.

In the morning he’d barely spoken two words to me except to tell me he was taking me home to shower and change clothes for school. “Can I make you breakfast?” I heard Keiran ask behind me when we walked into my house.

I turned wide eyes on him. “You want to make me breakfast?”

He shrugged before shedding his black, leather bomber jacket. “It’s the least I could do after last night.”

I paused in surprise. “Are you apologizing?”

“No.” He turned away, quickly disappearing into the kitchen. I walked upstairs to shower and when I looked in the mirror, I immediately noticed the numerous large, red hickeys and bite marks all over my neck and trailing beneath my shirt to my breasts.

I panicked, wondering how I could cover them up. I hurried to text Sheldon and Willow, who both told me to use makeup and assured me it would be gone in a couple of days. I stepped in to shower and ran the shower gel over my aching muscles, hoping to soothe them. To say Keiran worked me over was an understatement.

After showering, I quickly blow dried my hair and then unceremoniously threw on jeans and a button up and left my hair to hang in soft waves down my back and finger combed my overlong bangs also making a note to have it recut.

The smell of food greeted me as I made my way downstairs.
He really did make breakfast.
I found Keiran in the kitchen spooning our food onto plates. I guess my stomach liked what it saw when it growled…loudly.
Way to go, you. Very sexy.

He grinned at me and pushed my plate towards me. “Help yourself,” he stated, deepening my embarrassment.

“Don’t mind if I do,” I admitted grudgingly.

I picked up a fork and begin digging in to the delicious looking eggs when his phone rung and he left the kitchen to take the phone call. I was a little glad that he did because my table manners are atrocious when I’m hungry. I finished my food and considered seconds but he didn’t come back yet to eat. I mean it would probably be absolutely shitty of me to eat his food and mine. I canned the idea but then thought about how he tried to kick me out of his house.
Maybe not.

I devoured his food and when he still hadn’t returned curiosity took over so I hopped off the bar stool to search for him. He wasn’t anywhere downstairs so I headed upstairs next and heard his low voice drifting from my bedroom. Lucky for me the door was cracked so I peeked.

He was standing by my desk holding a picture of me that was taken last year while he was in juvie. Willow and Aunt Carissa had convinced me to take an extremely long road trip to the beach when I started to become depressed for some unknown reason. Aunt Carissa had taken the picture of me standing, barefooted in the water, wearing the first smile I’d had in a long time. He was staring down hard at the picture with a tight grip on the frame as he spoke on the phone.

“No, I want you to keep a tail on her. Find out why she lied.” His voice was menacing and I felt sorry for whoever it was he was referring to. “Oh and tell your boss he’ll be receiving a new package soon and to do as he pleases.”

He dismissed the caller and I panicked, thinking I would be caught but he continued to stare down at my photo intensely. I took a deep breath and headed back downstairs as quietly as I could before I got caught. I didn’t have time to think about all that I heard before he was back in the kitchen. He looked around for his plate of food before he raised his eyebrow at me. I merely shrugged and took the plates to the sink. When my back was turned, I found the courage to ask the question that’d been on my mind since the game.

“Keiran?”

“Yeah?” I could feel his eyes watching me, amping up my nervousness.

“What are you going to do about Trevor and Anya now that you know they set you up?”

“You didn’t get enough information eavesdropping at the door?”

Busted.

“I uh...”

“Don’t do it again,” he ordered with a flat tone. I spun around, holding a soapy dish in my hand and felt the urge to hurl it at his head.

“Why can’t you tell me and who were you talking to on the phone?”

“Why do you need to know?” he asked with heavy disinterest.

“Because he tried to rape me in a locker room? Or because he framed me too? I’ll let you pick.” Sarcasm was laced throughout my voice and hard to miss.

His eyes narrowed menacingly but I didn’t flinch away.
I’m getting good at that.
Instead I held his stare until he rolled his eyes and pushed me out of the way to take over washing the dishes.

“Keiran, I need to know. I –”

“I’m well aware of what he did to you and what he tried to do to you,” he said, emotionlessly, as he made meticulous circles on the plate. He rinsed off the dish and moved on to the other.

“You don’t care do you?” I fought back the misplaced hurt I felt and grabbed onto the counter for strength to hold in my emotions. He continued to wash the dishes with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Caring doesn’t make a difference. It just gets people killed.”

“Maybe you’re just incapable of feeling anything.”

“I feel many things: anger, hatred, pain, lust. I don’t need to feel anything else.”