Fear and Aggression (37 page)

Steve felt a sickness, and
a sadness, growing profoundly within him. It had never occurred to
him that she would do this on her own. He thought that she was just
trying to help—to consider her options. She was scared, and this
was just one possible scenario. He looked at her with shock. He did
not feel any anger, it was something beyond anger that he felt
towards her. He was heartbroken, he was disillusioned, and he felt
overwhelming sorrow. He had a child that was now gone. He had found
the woman with whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life, to
make a family with, and experience all the joys and sorrows thereof
together. It was as though he was looking at a familiar face, but
seeing a complete stranger. The only word that came to his mind
was,
why?
But he
could not bring himself to ask. He could not bring himself to say
anything; it did not seem like it would matter.

Tammy was getting uncomfortable in the
silence. She, too, looked like she wanted speak, but could not
bring herself to it. She came up and embraced him. To which he did
not return the embrace. She did not hold tight, seeing that it was
not being returned, but neither did she let go. He did not back
away, or reject her advance, but stood there as a statue for some
seconds. He slowly brought his arms up and placed them on her back
lightly, more as a gesture of politeness than anything else, as he
certainly felt no closeness to her at this moment. Numbness was all
he felt.

As she continued to hold on, some feeling
began to return, and at first it manifested itself as anger; but he
would not dignify that. “I don’t know what to say,” he finally said
calmly and deliberately.

“
I thought that you would
be upset, but that we’d get over it. Now, I don’t know what to
think. I didn’t think that it meant
this
much to you.”

“
You’re right; we really
aren’t ready for a family. We don’t know each other at all.” Still
there was no sign of anger; he was just verbalizing the thoughts
that were entering his mind.

She backed out of the embrace with her hands
holding onto his biceps and looked at his eyes, which were not
looking at hers; he stared into the distance. After a moment, he
did look at her face. He could see that her eyes were red, and he
could see the tear stains around her eyes. She had been crying. It
occurred to him, for the first time, that she had gone through this
alone, and that it was not easy for her. His heart, that had its
door slammed shut, opened just a bit. He felt a hint of tenderness
and sorrow for what she had been going through.

She noticed the change in his countenance,
and felt some relief. “How is your brother?” The change in subject
was awkward, but so was the current state of things.

“
Not good. He was beaten
very badly…he’s only thirteen years old; it was all because of
me—because of this mission.”

“
Are you going to try to
get back home?”

He looked her square in the eyes and didn’t
speak for several seconds. She felt uncomfortable in his glance,
but dared not look away. “He’s going to get protection now. I have
no reason to leave this mission. I’m going to finish up this
mission right, and then go home and make sure that he is okay.”

She could feel the
significance of his words. His brother had been the final straw,
allowing him to have the courage to do what he felt that he had to
do
for her
, and
the fetus she had just aborted. He loved his brother, and he did
want to help him; but going home and giving everything up would
have been for her.

Now that had all changed, and the loss that
she had been feeling was magnified, and clearer. It was her
relationship with Steve that she felt the most sorrow over, not the
baby. It would have been so much easier if he was angry and they
had fought. Feelings would have been hurt, but they could have had
it out; and then, maybe, they could make up and get the
relationship back to where she wanted it to be. But this was
different. There was no fight, no anger, and no words spoken that
should not have been. There was nothing for him to apologize for,
or for him to feel remorse for. There was a chasm between them, and
he had not created it: she had. She had nothing to apologize for;
she was not sorry that she had aborted the child. She was sorry
that there was this chasm, but saying ‘I’m sorry,’ wouldn’t express
that. Her feminine charms were not going to have any effect at this
time; that was clear as well. He loved her, and because of the pain
that she was going through his heart had shown some softening, but,
how much, and for how long it would last, she did not know.

“
I don’t think that it
will be long before our mission is over; it does seem that
everything is wrapping up. I hope that he’s okay.”

“
Thank you, Tammy. How are
you feeling? Do you need anything? Do you need some time
off?”

“
I’ve bled a lot, and I’ve
been cramping. I’ve been a little weak at times. I don’t know. I
took some time, yesterday. I’ll take time, or rest, as I need it.
I’ll let you know.”

“
Alright…I’m needed on
deck, I need to relieve Mike.”

“
Okay. Goodbye,” she said
as he walked toward the labs shut door. He did not turn around, or
say ‘goodbye.’

“
Caryell, my son, wake
up.”

Caryell was typically a light sleeper, and
rarely did he require being woken by his father. It was already
late in the morning, and Roloff had exciting news for him. Caryell,
for his part, was waking from a deep and sweet sleep. He had an
awakening in himself the evening before, and sleep could not find
him for several hours after he had turned into bed. The image of
the young beauty was still on the forefront of his mind as his
consciousness returned.

Roloff could see the happiness on his face,
even as he awoke and opened his eyes. “I see that you had a very
nice evening, last night. Did you enjoy the theater?”

“
Yes. Yes, I
did.”

“
Well, I’m pleased.
Listen, Uncle Priori has let me know that another sighting of the
craft should be apparent just after dark tonight. They’ve been able
to catalog the various sightings, and calculated when it should
appear again. We were going to return back home today, but now I
want to stay and see if the calculations are correct. If they are,
then we will at least have proof that there is a craft orbiting our
world. I’m sure, under these circumstances that we can extend more
time on your school work. Do you think that it will be
alright?”

“
Yes! I will see the craft
that Mother is in, won’t I?”

“
Yes, I believe so. The
science institute is very excited about the findings, and so is the
Mayor. I think that we may be with a rather large group tonight. I
will need to get back and tell the rest of Arkasia tomorrow, but it
will be good to have it all confirmed tonight. This is very
important for us, but it is important for everyone else,
too.”

“
Yes, Father.”

“
I have a meeting with
Mayor Tinron in about an hour, along with some of their top
scientists. Uncle Priori will be there as well. I want you to get
up and get ready, have a good breakfast, and then come to Uncle
Priori’s—do you know the way?”

“
I do. It is not hard to
find.”

Roloff was sitting on the bed beside
Caryell. He got up and began to leave, and then turned back, sat
down again and embraced Caryell. Father and son embraced tenderly,
and then looked at each other with a happiness and joy that they
had not felt in a long time together.

***

“
Mayor Palador, it is so
good that you will be able to stay. I see that your experience…your
sighting, has been confirmed throughout the city. I trust that
these men, around you, have made excellent calculations. I expect
that we will see this object…this craft this evening. I have been
considering the circumstances. These are serious considerations,”
he said reflectively and then paused somewhat
uncomfortably.

“
On the whole, I do not
know if it will be good or not to confirm this sighting. I think of
your lovely wife, Aspiria, and how this gives you so much hope.
Yet, it concerns me…very deeply, it concerns me that we may have
visitors who are here on the sly, and may have already committed a
gross violation…in
taking
her.” Perspiration began to bead on the chubby
man’s brow. He tried to button his coat over his enormous belly,
and failing, as always, played with the button
nervously.

Now speaking more
generally to the group, and not specifically to Roloff: “It is hard
to say what purpose they would have in coming to our world, and not
wishing to communicate with us in general—instead, taking a beloved
woman, the wife of the honorable Mayor Palador,
and…
hopefully
,
communicating with her. And so, this brings us to the dilemma; to
the decision—the decisions that we are to make. Assuming that we
confirm this sighting tonight, what are we to do about it. Seeing
it, confirming it, so to speak, will only bring us to a full
knowledge; but what are we to do about it then. I speak in two
regards: the rest of the people here, and the visitors—the
perpetrators.

“
Mayor Palador has been
very discreet, in this regard. He did not share his concerns with
anyone from Arkasia, in order that he might not cause concern; at
least not until he had his suspicions confirmed. But now they are
confirmed, at least in part, and this evening they may be confirmed
in total; so, do we share this knowledge completely and fully with
all…with everyone in the entire city—with all the towns and
villages? What would result? We do not know much at all about our
visitors. The only thing that we know—suspect—is not good: that
they have taken, by force, one of ours. That they snatched her from
near her home, right from her child—that they ran as cowards, and
have kept themselves at a distance. So, would we share this with
everyone, or would we share simply that they are here? I don’t see
how, in Arkasia, the people would not suspect all that I am
sharing. Eventually, word of this suspicion would spread to
everyone, anyway.

“
If they struck again, and
the people were not warned when they could have been, would we be
responsible for harm to others? Yet, if they mean no further harm,
and we get everyone alarmed, what harm might occur unnecessarily.
You may see why I hope, in spite of the hope I have for Mrs.
Palador, that this is not confirmed tonight. Truly, I don’t want it
to be real, but I’m afraid that I don’t put much stock in that
possibility. I am nearly completely confident that it will be,
indeed, confirmed this evening with a sighting of this light—of
this vessel.

“
Now, this leads me to the
other problem that we face, namely this: what do we do in regards
to the visitors?

“
Do we try to communicate
with them? This presents a major challenge in and of itself. Even
if we want to communicate with them, how do we do this? But, I will
come to this later. If we do not communicate with them, then will
they continue to circle the world, with one of our own? We may know
when we will have sightings of the craft. Do we continue to look up
and watch it, and do nothing about it. If there is any hope of
having them stop their cowardice and communicate with us, then
perhaps we will have to make an introduction, so to speak. Perhaps
they are shy…” A little laugh came from the group, helping to break
the tension of the difficulty of his speech.

“
What would happen if we
let them know that
we know
that they are there? It could scare them off;
but, it could also encourage them to come and speak with us.
Perhaps we could then get the beloved Mrs. Palador back, and find
out what their intentions are. It may be interesting to learn of
them, and from them. Gentlemen, they clearly know much about
science that would be of great value to you. If we know what they
want, perhaps we could give it to them, and receive knowledge from
them. Either way, at least Mayor Palador may get his wife
back.

“
At any rate, there are
risks; but I don’t see how we, sitting on our hands, will ever
accomplish anything. The last thing is this: if they can travel
from another world to ours, and they can land on ours, and then
return to their orbit, then they can leave and be gone, perhaps
even for good. We may never know, and never see Aspiria again. So,
we can’t deliberate forever. We don’t know how long the window of
our opportunity is. And so, this is my proposal: I propose that we
make our suspicions and concerns generally known throughout the
city today. We let the people in, and let them share this moment of
discovery with us tonight. We must be examples of calm, and not let
them see fear in our eyes. We don’t know what may come next, but
we, as a people, are strong, and with our city unified, I believe
that we can get through this together. This will open up the
possibility to communicate with them this evening. We are empowered
to turn on and off all of the electricity in the city, centrally.
If we encouraged everyone to fully light every light in their homes
and businesses, then we could give them a brilliant view of our
great city, about three times brighter than it would have been on
any other pass by. Then, when the craft is in view, we would cut
the power off and then back on at twenty second intervals. We
suspect that they would have a view of our city for a longer period
of time, than we will have of their craft; but if we do this only
during the time that the craft is visible to us…I think that this
would not be misunderstood…that it would not be consider
coincidental…they would know that we are—we are introducing
ourselves—waving to them, if you will.