Fear and Aggression (10 page)

“
Captain, you’ve grown
very quiet,” she said as she sat down beside him and grabbed his
left hand. “And your hand seems awfully cold and sweaty,” she said
as she looked at him knowingly.

“
I loathe finger-sticks,”
he said truthfully, while trying to sound humorous, and gave a
pitiful smile. She smiled and looked down at his hand in hers.
Steve looked down as well. She began to rub his hand in an attempt
to bring the blood to his fingertips. Her hands felt warm and soft,
her touch gentle and magical. Her spell had been cast upon him, and
the fear left him. Suddenly this finger-stick experience was heaven
on...well, heaven wherever they were. It was at this moment that
Steve felt his feelings for Tammy were beyond attraction and
infatuation.

The stick came, the collection accomplished,
and a piece of cotton was pressed to the finger tip. “Not bad,
Captain; if I had a sticker I’d give it to you.”

“
Ms. Rogers, dinner is
ready in the galley,” came Danny’s voice from the intercom. “Is
Captain Jenners there, also?”

“
Yes, Danny, I’m
here.”

“
Dinner is ready in the
galley, Captain Jenners.”

“
Thank you, Danny, I’ll be
there shortly.”

The crew lived a twenty-five hour day,
broken up into five five-hour sections. Only during one of the
sections were all seven members of the crew generally awake. This
was when dinner was scheduled. It made it easier for the ships
secretary to prepare the meal, plus it allowed time for crew
bonding. One person would be left on the pilot’s deck, and that
duty was shifted around the Captain, pilot, computer specialist,
navigator, and engine specialist. The secretary and research
specialist were not trained to fly. Bob, the navigator, hadn’t
earned his wings yet, either. That would be accomplished on this
mission, if he could stay out of the galley long enough to get his
training in on the flight deck.

Steve felt rudely awaken back into reality.
The idea of leaving the lab gave him a sick feeling in his stomach.
But, he had been shown the entire lab, and could not think of any
other legitimate reason for sticking around. So perhaps the timing
was not so bad. “Are you heading up to the galley?”

“
Shortly, I need to get
this sample taken care of. I want to test the speed and
reproducibility of my genetic analyzer.”

“
So you’re going to crack
my genetic code while I eat dinner? Let me know if there’s any bad
news,” he said as he got up to leave.

“
Thank you, Steve,” she
said as she turned and looked at him in the eyes, penetrating, as
it were, to the core. “I’ll see you up there in a few
minutes.”

“
Tammy, it was a treat.
I’m glad to have you on the crew,” he said in his Captains voice
and demeanor. Then, pausing a second, "I’m really glad that you’re
here.”

She smiled sweetly and knowingly, again. He
left, feeling it would be impossible to eat when he was so
full.

***

“
Danny, what is this mess?
It smells awful,” said Mike as he entered the galley.

Danny looked annoyed. He was irritated and
embarrassed by Mike’s comment, but mostly he was annoyed by Bob.
“This is Bob Merick’s creation,” he said, trying to transfer blame
without sounding taken advantage of. Bob had been the ship’s
secretary on his past several missions, and was used to doing the
cooking. This was Danny’s first mission, and he had made the
mistake of asking Bob some questions. Now Bob seemed to feel that
it was his right to take over cooking dinner on a whim. Danny may
not know all about space travel, but he did take pride in his
cooking. “If it is not to your liking, I could heat up something
I’m preparing for tomorrow.”

“
Nonsense, Mike will love
it,” said Bob as he entered the galley.

“
I sure hope this is worth
waking up for,” noted James as he came in yawning. Danny looked
less than convinced, but Bob seemed pleased as can be. “I don’t
think it smells too bad.”

“
Where’s Captain Jenners?”
asked Bob, obviously getting anxious to dive into his
dish.

“
I called him; he said
that he would be here soon.” Danny replied.

Mike sat down at the table and leaned his
chair back seemingly very relaxed. James sat down by him a moment
later. “You look like you could sleep for another week.”

“
I’ll be alright, just
stayin’ busy.”

“
Any interesting reads?”
asked Mike, now sounding like he wanted a more stimulating
discussion than small talk would give him.

James gave a grimace, then licked his lips,
and then rubbed his eyes. By the time he was finished waking
himself up enough to answer the question, Mike wondered if he would
even remember the question. James sat back a little, and said
contemplatively, “The short answer is no.”

“
Is there a long
answer?”

“
What’s interesting is
that I am not finding anything interesting at all.” He paused
momentarily. “When you are doing the same thing day in and day
out...looking at data, you wonder if you are really finding
somethin’ or if you are just wantin’ to find it so bad that you
think you are." He paused again, looking out into space, so to
speak. "Last mission, I was looking at things that were just...I
dunno...uncanny. This area is empty—very few stars that are
appropriate to sustain life; really, very few stars in general.
But, still, those that are, don’t show anything. The planetary
systems are useless—gas giants for the most part, or big chunks of
rock that are burning up, or big chunks of ice. No hope. Still,
last night we passed by and analyzed two stellar systems that had
planets with some potential. Everything was random. If life exists
on them, it can’t be advanced intelligent life. No hint of
electromagnetic radiation, other than that which would be expected
from a similar dead planet.”

“
So you’re disappointed;
nothing valuable in this area.”

“
I’m not disappointed. I
feel like I’m not crazy.”

Mike frowned, anticipating some
explanation.

“
There were a number of
stellar systems with appropriate planets on my last mission that I
found. Most of these are getting a second look at on this round of
missions. Some of them are actually going to be mission
destinations; the ones that most appropriately fit our
understanding of what would be hospitable for life. It was like a
gold mine that I had entered. I got some readings that weren’t
random, at least I thought. I spent the last several days looking
at that, and I kept thinking, it’s not random, it’s not random. So,
headquarters gets all of my data and analysis and I get sent on my
next mission to the middle of nowhere. I mean, people can play
tricks on their own minds. When you look intently enough for
something, you may find it, even if it’s not there. Finding shapes
in clouds, or on the ceiling. The patterns are random, but the
brain tries to construct meaning out of something that’s
meaningless.”

Mike was wondering where this was going, and
starting to feel responsible for opening up this meaningless,
random discussion. “Yeah, I know what you mean,” he muttered with a
tone of disinterest.

“
So now I’m looking at it
all again, and it’s just random.”

“
So you’ve regained your
sanity.”

James smiled slightly, realizing how this
conversation may be sounding. “I never lost it. What I was
observing wasn't random.”

“
You really think you
found life?” Mike asked, a little surprised by the apparent
conclusion of James’ rambling.

“
The only way we will find
life, is if we go to the planet and look. What I think I saw was
evidence of intelligence. I can only imagine intelligence coming
from life. It’s one thing to find some watery planet with algae or
bacteria, of some sort. But intelligent life, now that’s
something.”

Captain Jenners had just entered the galley
and had heard the last part of the conversation. “Sounds like you
have had some interesting readings, James.”

James sat up and turned around, surprised at
the Captain’s voice. “Oh, well, not recently—not on our mission
yet, sir.”

Mike took the opportunity to get up and
moved over by Bob and Danny. Bob looked pleased, while Danny looked
annoyed. Both were busy trying to get the food out as quickly as
possible. “Kenny’s got the reins tonight?” Mike interjected. Danny
looked up, but did not answer immediately.

Bob kept on with the preparations, and then
a moment later said, “Um, yeah, must be Kenny.”

Mike, having worked with Bob before, liked
him well enough. He had felt a degree of surprise at Bob’s
promotion to Navigator. So far, the promotion was in name only. Bob
was acting the part of secretary, and Danny was stuck feeling
shoved aside with nowhere to go. “Bob, why don’t you bring Kenny
his meal? It’ll be the perfect time to learn some navigation from
one of the best. I’ll help Danny get this out to the rest of us.”
Mike had no intention of helping Danny with anything, other than by
getting Bob out of his way.

He headed up immediately, without much to
say. Technically Bob was the third ranking officer, so he certainly
didn’t have to obey. He did feel annoyed at this suggestion that he
leave and go up to Kenny. But it had more to do with him not being
able to survey everyone’s delight in the fine meal he had made.
Kenny was good company, though, and he was happy to see how he
liked the meal. As far as his being the ship’s navigator, Bob was
pleased. He didn’t have any passion for technical work, but he felt
good about the promotion. Bob wasn’t worried about learning it
anytime soon. He figured that he would get the hang of it, whenever
the time came around. As far as Bob could tell, everything was
under control on the mission. The only thing that needed help was
meals, and he was happy to help there.

Aspiria arose early, as she was accustomed
to do. After picking some fresh vegetables and putting them in a
basket, she got herself ready for a visit with Mrs. Lodophin.
Roloff and Caryell would be gone until late in the evening. The
young men turning of age and their fathers were enjoying a day
together. Aspiria thought that she may go into town, and perhaps
make a few other visits this day, as she had no other pressures on
her time. She was a natural beauty, and did not require any special
adornments to look radiant. But, with a visit to Mrs. Lodophin, and
whatever else her day might bring, she thought she would make
herself up particularly nicely. She wore a loose yellow
flower-patterned skirt, a white top, and a yellow flower in her
hair. She looked and felt like she could take on the world.
Sometimes, a visit with Mrs. Lodophin required that demeanor.

The morning was only slightly brisk, but it
was sunny. Aspiria felt very relaxed as she walked to the
Lodophin’s. Hers was a happy life. She was content in nearly
everything. In younger years she had hoped for three or four
children, but with several years of not getting pregnant, and then
a few miscarriages mixed in, she had been over joyed with the birth
of Caryell. She was the mother of a healthy boy, and the wife of a
loving father and husband. From the time Caryell was born she had
never yearned for another child.

Aspiria enjoyed her family, home, and
garden. She also enjoyed peaceful relations with the members of her
town. Roloff, as the town mayor, had to put out fires from time to
time, and sometimes was caught in the middle, though never for
long. But even when the town had issues, Aspiria was never a part
of any bad feelings. She was filled with goodness, kindness, and
contentment. All of these characteristics, blended with her
pleasant and natural demeanor, kept her always in good graces.

As she approached the Lodophins’, the sound
of boys playing could be heard. She knocked at the door, and Mrs.
Lodophin answered. She was not alone. Prianna Olefften was seated
in the living room. Prianna had on a long reddish-maroon dress. She
looked up and smiled awkwardly at Aspiria. Mrs. Lodophin smiled
warmly, rolled her eyes when Aspiria noticed Prianna, and invited
Aspiria in. Aspiria was not too surprised to see Prianna. Prianna
was well aware of the Lodophins’ crisis yesterday. She had a great
heart, and always went were she thought that she would be needed.
The three ladies sat down together.

Aspiria could tell that
Mrs. Lodophin was very pleased to see her. She knew that she was
getting wearied of Prianna. Prianna had a way of asking questions
in such an annoying way. Aspiria could almost see the conversation
that preceded her visit. Mrs. Lodophin would start to talk, and
Prianna would interrupt by asking about some detail just mentioned.
Then, Mrs. Lodophin would begin to answer that question, only to be
interrupted again. Prianna was concerned and interested, but so
unable to actually be helpful. Everyone would get tired of
conversations with Prianna fairly quickly, but no one as much so as
Bellerie Lodophin. Bellerie loved to talk of herself, and generally
was impossible to interrupt. But Prianna had interrupting down to
an art, so that even Bellerie was bested. On the other hand,
Aspiria was a perfect listener. Mrs. Lodophin enjoyed visits with
Aspiria more than with anyone else. Mrs. Lodophin could express,
explain, and indulge herself, as much as she desired, and Aspiria
would listen—truly listen, for the entirety. Aspiria would join in
the conversation when Bellerie was ready, and would allow Bellerie
to get all of her words out, and not feel as though she had wearied
and overwhelmed her listener. No one but her late husband had been
able to allow her this. Aspiria knew that this was something that
Mrs. Lodophin would appreciate today, after the accident
yesterday.
But, she may appreciate more,
me helping to take away Prianna,
she
thought. Prianna had already brought on such stress and fatigue for
Bellerie.