Fathom (27 page)

Caleb’s countenance lit up, like he’d just seen a falling star and made a wish.

We were bound now, in this secret plan of mine.

We had only known each other for a short time, but I realized now that he truly was a good friend. A best friend. It made me a little sad that I wouldn’t have more time to sort all these things out. Like, what would it have been like to grow up, knowing I was half-Selkie, and what would those classes at Berkeley have been like and how did Sean really feel about me.

Were we falling in love?

When my dad had talked about love, he’d made it sound so simple. But there was nothing simple about being in love with a woman who went missing eleven years ago. And he’d been faithful to her, all these years.

Nothing simple or easy about that.

I wondered whether it would be easier to forget who I was, to put on monster skin and hunt the ones I loved. I had a feeling that it was going to be harder than what I was doing now.

But we were a family, right? And families needed to stay together.

Riley glanced at me, a guarded expression in her eyes. I faked a thin smile. Anything more and she would have gotten suspicious. She seemed to buy it, answered me with a broad, I’m-the-winner-of-our-little-battle grin.

I stared out the window for the rest of the ride. Thinking.

Somehow my mom had done it. She’d managed to not eat us, despite that horrid urge inside. Yeah, she’d chased Riley, but she never caught her, right?

So maybe I could do it too. Just come back once a year to say hi, what’s new and hey, don’t mind that rotten tide pool smell.

The car rolled to a stop. I opened my door and climbed out. We were at Brianna’s, dropping off Caleb. Our eyes met when he got out of the car, almost like a silent communication. His eyebrows went up, probably one last attempt to change my mind.

“See you later, Caleb,” I said, the only clue that my decision couldn’t be swayed.

Then I got back in the car, shut the door and refused to listen to any more of their conversation. I figured I may as well get used to being completely alone.

Starting now.

•

My house looked even more beautiful than I remembered. Sean pulled his dad’s SUV all the way up to the top of the driveway. We all got out of the car. I knew that Gram had invited Sean to stay for supper, but I had to get rid of him. So I grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the others. Meanwhile, Gram and Riley went inside. I heard Gram say something about how Riley could help her make dinner and I couldn’t resist grinning.

Welcome home, sis.

“You’ve been really quiet,” Sean said as he wrapped both arms around my waist. “Something wrong?”

Just everything.

I leaned against him. Lying would be easier if I didn’t look him in the eyes.

“Huh-uh,” I said. “I just think the past few days have worn me out.”

“Yeah.”

I hugged him tighter.

“You know, I was thinking, maybe I should let you and your Gram and your sister have some time alone tonight,” he said.

I looked up at him. This was going a lot easier than I expected. But harder, at the same time.

I reached up, put one hand behind his neck and pulled him closer. Kissed him. A long secret kiss, like I was never going to see him again. When we finally parted, my cheeks were wet with tears.

“Hey, what’s wrong, Kira? I had a feeling something was bothering you—”

“No, I just wanted you to know—I really appreciate how you’ve been there for me. Not just now, but always.”

His brow lowered. “You sound like we’re breaking up or something.”

Breaking up? Does that mean he really is my boyfriend? Great time to let me know, Sean.

I shook my head, faked a laugh.

“No, silly. I’m just tired, remember? I’ll see you at school tomorrow, okay?”

That was probably the biggest lie of all and I waited to see if he would buy it. He did, with a big grin. I guess, to him, we had just decided we were boyfriend and girlfriend. So he wanted to believe it.

I wished I could believe it too.

I hugged him again, took a deep breath, filled my mind with his scent. Followed that up with another short and sweet kiss. Made sure it felt completely innocent, like I was really going to see him tomorrow and that there would be a lot more kisses then.

Gave him one last flirtatious grin and wave once he got inside the car.

Then, while his car growled its way down our driveway, I headed toward the beach. There I stripped down to my underwear and I swam, harder and faster and longer than I ever had before, up one wave and down another.

Until my tears mingled with the salt water.

Kira:

After I got done swimming, I spent a few hours moving my things out of my bedroom, cramming them into a corner of the spare room—had to make it look like I would still be here in the morning. The hardest part was taking down that altar on my dresser, all that stuff of Katie’s that I’d been collecting over the years. I tucked it into an empty shoebox and wrote, ‘Believe it or not, I do love you’ across the top in marker. Then I crammed it in the bottom of my closet, beneath my shoes. Riley would find it eventually.

But, hard as I tried, I couldn’t part with that bottle of perfume.

So I stuck it in the pocket of my jeans.

Meanwhile, Gram sat at the kitchen table, bottle of Jameson and a shot glass in front of her. She ordered Riley around, trying to teach her how to cook. I could hear pans banging, dishes breaking, an occasional curse from my sister, followed by a sharp reprimand from Gram.

Dinner was a complete catastrophe.

We didn’t sit down to eat until seven, much later than normal.

Prickles ran up and down my spine as I tried to hurry through the meal—the awful, overcooked, under-spiced meal. I wasn’t even sure what it was supposed to be. I think it contained noodles and spinach and salmon, but I couldn’t find any definitive evidence of those ingredients. It sat on my plate, a green gooey mess.

Riley seemed to like it though.

I grinned as she ate it all, not bothering to talk to either of us. Maybe meals were hard to come by in her world.

Then my stomach lurched as I thought about what I was going to be eating in a few days. Selkies for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Ugh. Maybe I could starve myself to death.

Fortunately, we had some brownies left over from the weekend. I got them out, dusted them with fresh powdered sugar, then set them on a plate with a lacy doily. I made Gram some coffee—decaf, needed her to go to sleep as soon as possible—and poured her a cup.

Riley wrinkled her nose after she took a small bite of a brownie.

She was going to have great fun at high school next year. A teenage girl who didn’t like chocolate.

Gram poured a healthy dose of whiskey into her cup, took a big sip, then she pulled something out of her pocket and set it on the table in front of Riley. A tiny box wrapped in pink tissue paper, almost exactly like the one I got for my birthday.

“What’s that?” Riley asked.

“It’s a present for you,” Gram said.

“Why?”

“Open it.” Gram’s mouth settled into a straight line.

The tissue paper came off, layer by layer, the box opened.

Inside, surrounded by a piece of black velvet, lay a wooden, carved Celtic cross necklace. Not exactly like mine. This one looked older. The edges were worn and part of the carving had been broken off.

Riley stared at it, like it scared her.

“Put it on,” Gram said.

Riley shook her head. “It’s going to burn my skin—”

“No it isn’t. Put it on. And you wear it. All the time.”

Riley reluctantly picked up the chain, fastened it behind her neck, let the hawthorn wood rest gently against the skin on her neck.

“And don’t you be taking things from Kira anymore, understand?” Gram said.

My sister nodded, but the expression in her eyes said otherwise.

“That belonged to your mother, so don’t you lose it, girl.”

I suddenly understood our trip to the Mission San Sebastian de Creciente today. She must have gotten this necklace from Father Sullivan. I wondered why he’d had it. Maybe Mom could tell me. After all, we’d have at least a fraction of a second together tonight.

Plenty of time for her to divulge her deep, dark secrets.

After I cracked open the Hinquememem and she stepped out.

•

I wasn’t sure whether I was going to need it or not, but I threaded Gram’s cross on a string, then hung it inside my shirt. It was a perfect night outside. Not what I’d expected. In my mind, the yard would have been covered with a low lying fog, about waist high, and you wouldn’t have been able to see exactly where the cliff was. The only things that would have stuck up above the fog would have been the swing set and slide, a few hawthorn trees, and there at the end of the yard, like a row of sharp white teeth, the top of the picket fence.

That’s where all the action was going to take place. Just on the other side of that fence. As soon as everyone went to sleep.

Gram had been exceptionally chatty tonight, telling us both stories about when she first came to the States, how long her trip had taken, how lonely she had been at first. She didn’t talk about Gramps very often, but this must have been the night when all the old memories came to life. She told us where they met, how short their courtship had been—six weeks—how her mother had disapproved of him at first. And then how, when she was pregnant with Dad, she’d found out that Gramps had been killed in the war.

All of it made me think about Sean, which I was trying hard not to do.

He’d be done with dinner by now. Probably studying for his last few finals. Or working out in the gym in their basement. Maybe he would be standing out on the cliff at the same time I was—but even if he was, he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. We were next door neighbors, but a gap, about ten feet wide, separated our land from his. The only way to get here was to go down to the main road and hike up our driveway.

So, even if he was out there at the same time I was and he saw what I was doing, he wouldn’t be able to stop me.

Caleb was out in the yard somewhere. I could feel his presence, like a calm breeze, or maybe like an anesthetic, deadening the pain that was on its way.

Just then, Riley yawned and stretched. Her eyes were half closed. I hadn’t expected her to get tired this early, but maybe Selkies kept different hours than we did. Maybe they were more in sync with the sun or something.

“So, where’s this room I’m getting?” she asked.

“Right there.” I pointed toward my bedroom door. You could see it from the living room, right off the hallway. “I put a nightgown on the bed, if you want it. Otherwise, feel free to wear whatever you want.”

Gram gave me a funny look, so I realized that I’d made this all too easy.

“Just stay away from my Kings of Leon T-shirt. I got that at a concert and the lead singer signed it.”

Riley grinned. “Remember, what’s yours is mine. You said so at the hospital.”

“Not the shirt.”

I watched Gram, tried to figure out if she was buying it or not.

“No fighting, you two,” she said, standing up. “I’m going to bed now and I don’t want to hear another word once I get in my room. Riley, we can get you some clothes of your own tomorrow, so just leave Kira’s T-shirt alone. You hear?”

My sister made a noise between a sigh and a groan. “I was just teasing, Gram. Sheesh. I don’t even want her stupid shirt.”

“It’s not stupid,” I said, hoping I wasn’t overplaying it.

“Enough, Kira.” Gram wagged her finger at me from the hallway. Then she padded out of sight.

Riley waited until Gram closed her door, then in a low voice she said, “You know I’m wearing that shirt, right?”

I shrugged. “Whatever.” I hoped she did wear it. I hadn’t washed it since the concert and some creep had spilled beer all over it, right after I got the signature.

Kira:

The question of the evening was: How do you lure a Hinquememem without waking everyone inside the house? I had originally thought that I would stand on the cliff and call out its name, like calling a lost dog. Here, Hinquememem, here, girl. But now I knew I needed to be quiet or Gram and Riley would hear me.

First, I checked to make sure they were both asleep.

Snoring. Both of them.

Then, I opened a couple cans of tuna and smeared tuna all over me. Washed my hands to get the oil off.

Finally, I grabbed my trusty ax and headed out the back door.

Jogged through the yard, eager to get this over with. I had to keep my head clear, so I focused on all the boring bits of my daily life. Chemistry, laundry, cooking, geometry, homework in general, cleaning the cat box, walking to school with Sean—

I paused at the gate, hand on the latch that used to keep me trapped in my safe little world, remembering the last time I had walked to school with Sean. We’d had that typical June gloom, foggy, cloudy, gray. But he’d been wearing a bright yellow T-shirt and he seemed liked the sun. Laughing, joking, teasing me about something I’d done. And he had held my hand, right before we got to school.

That was even before we’d kissed. Maybe he’d been trying to tell me he liked me for a long time and I hadn’t been able to figure it out.

Well, nobody ever said I was the brightest star in the sky.

Except for Dad.

He’d always thought I was the best thing ever. Without realizing it, I started singing a song Dad used to sing to me every night when he tucked me in bed when I was a kid. This was my goodbye song and there was nobody to hear it, unless the Hinquememem was listening. Mom, are you out there? Can you hear me singing?

Don’t you want to come and tuck me in?

I closed the gate behind me, glanced back at the house, a dark outline against a darker shelter of trees and bushes. Something rustled and moved in the shadows and my grip on the ax tightened. Would it come at me from behind? Could it be here already, waiting for me?