Fated Love (26 page)

Honor raised an eyebrow, her nerves raw. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know," Quinn said quietly. "Something tells me that it hurts you when you lose one,
not
that you did. I guess I should say when you
can't save
them all."

"That's what we're supposed to be doing here, isn't it? Saving people?"

"Yes. All the ones we can." There was a hint of bitterness in Honor's voice that most people would have missed, but Quinn was listening for it. She covered Honor's hand with her own. "I'm sorry about this one."
And all the other ones whom no one could have saved, but for whom you feel responsible. All the way back to Terry.

"I'm okay," Honor said softly, her fingers briefly entwining with Quinn's. She squeezed lightly, and then withdrew her hand. "Thanks for the help in there. Daniels was tied up with a child with epiglottitis. In fact, I should check on him now. How's your burn patient?"

"Already on her way to the burn center."

"I don't know how we managed without you." Honor forced a light note into her voice. It was so hard when she had to let one go. She knew the statistics, understood and intellectually accepted the realities of her work, but for just a few moments—every time—it was Terry all over again. She didn't know how, but she sensed that Quinn knew this, and she didn't feel quite so alone with the pain.

Quinn watched some of the shadows disappear from the dark depths of Honor's eyes and a bit of her own sadness lifted. "I just can't imagine."

Smiling now, Honor stood. "What do you say we hit those boards and clear this place out. Then you, Linda, Robin, and the kids are invited over to my place for Chinese."

Quinn rose as well, resisting the urge to take Honor's hand. "I can't think of anything better."

It amazed Honor to discover that she believed her.

* * * * *

By ten p.m., all three children had fallen asleep wherever they'd happened to land, and the adults weren't far behind. Linda was curled up in Robin's arms at one end of the couch, her head on Robin's shoulder, her eyes nearly closed. At the opposite end, Honor sat on the floor in front of Quinn, who was gently kneading her shoulders. The local news droned on the television.

"Better?" Quinn asked softly, leaning forward, her mouth close to Honor's ear. Her fingers curved along Honor's neck, her thumbs playing up and down the tight muscles on either side of Honor's spine.

"Mmm." Pressing back into Quinn's hands, Honor shivered as the warm breath wafted over her ear. Quinn's thighs rested lightly against the outside of her arms, and the heat from Quinn's body seemed to surround her. Hot, heavy pleasure slowly rolled through her, leaving her feeling ripe and sensuous. "Heaven."

"It is," Quinn murmured. Honor's hair lay softly over the backs of her hands, a tease of golden silk. She imagined awakening with those silken strands scattered across her chest, with the exquisite softness of Honor's cheek against her breast. The ache of desire beat so hard she nearly groaned, and it was all she could do not to brush her lips over the tender skin of Honor's neck. "I recommend a warm shower and a good night's sleep."

Honor shifted around, letting her head rest against Quinn's inner thigh as she looked up into the deep blue eyes. The pleasure simmering in her belly flared at the undisguised wanting in Quinn's face. "Do, you, now?"

Quinn nodded, drawing one finger slowly along the edge of Honor's jaw, then down her throat, stopping at the small hollow between her collarbones. "It's been a long day, and you're tired."

I
don 't feel tired. I'd be happy if you never stopped touching me.
Honor glanced over at her friends. Robin's chin rested against the top of Linda's head, and both of them now appeared to be asleep. Fondly, she smiled. "Our numbers are dwindling."

Very slowly, Quinn leaned down and brushed her lips over Honor's mouth. It was far less than she wanted, but piercingly sweet nevertheless. "I should go."

"I don't want you to," Honor whispered.

Quinn's breath caught in her throat, and she closed her eyes for an instant. Her fingers trembled against the damp skin just above the swell of Honor's breasts before she drew her hand back. When she met Honor's gaze, the look of longing nearly broke her resolve. "You make it very hard for me to remember why we should wait."

Honor's lips curled into a satisfied smile. "Good."

Beside them, Linda grumbled and sat upright, blinking. "What a lively crowd."

The four friends laughed, and reluctantly, Honor rose. She extended her hand and tugged Quinn to her feet. While Robin and Linda roused their children, Honor walked Quinn to the back door.

Outside on the porch, in the shadows, she wrapped her arms around Quinn's neck and pressed close to her. Just before her lips found Quinn's, she whispered throatily, "I love the way you feel."

Quinn circled her arms about Honor's waist and lost herself in the swirling kiss—aware only of Honor's breasts against hers, Honor's hands stroking her neck and back, Honor's thigh edging firmly between hers.

"Uh...my advice would be to take this upstairs," Linda remarked dryly from a few feet away.

Honor leaned back in Quinn's arms and regarded her friend lazily. "Why, thank you
so
much. I never would have thought of that."

Grinning, Quinn slowly eased away from Honor. "Night, Linda." Then she kissed Honor gently. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Be careful going home," Honor murmured, lightly stroking Quinn's cheek. She watched as Quinn descended the stairs and disappeared into the night, then turned back to Linda. "Great timing."

"You should thank me." Linda laughed and threaded her arm around Honor's waist as they walked back into the living room. "Think how embarrassed you would have been to find yourself stark naked on the floor of your back porch when you finally came to your senses."

Honor had the briefest flash of herself and Terry, nearly naked and in a similar position, when Phyllis had discovered them what seemed like a lifetime ago. She gave Linda an affectionate squeeze. "I'll let you know when I'm in need of rescuing."

As Linda hefted one of her children and Robin the other, Linda smirked. "I think it's too late for that."

Honor kissed both of her friends at the door, then carried her own sleeping child off to bed. She tucked Arly in, switched on the action hero night-light, and leaned in the doorway regarding her child. She thought of all the nights she had stood there wishing that Terry could share the incredible wonder of watching Arly grow up. Of all the nights that she had lain down to sleep alone wondering how she could face the rest of her life while feeling so empty inside.

As she walked back to her solitary bed, she realized that what she felt now, where there had once been only loneliness and pain, was excitement and, distantly, hope. She turned on the bedside lamp and crossed to the dresser that stood against one wall. The detritus of her ordinary days lay scattered across the top—keys, spare change, a fountain pen, a few scraps of paper with unrecognizable telephone numbers scrawled on them. There was also a jewelry box and a framed photo of Terry that had been taken at a softball game a few months before she had been killed. She looked incredibly young and vital in gym shorts and a sleeveless T-shirt, her glove tucked under one arm, a broad grin on her wildly attractive face.

Honor picked up the photo and held it in both hands, turning it in the light and watching the reflections in the glass sparkle from Terry's eyes. Briefly, she touched her fingertips to Terry's face. "I love you. You know that, right? Forever and always."

Tenderly, she placed the photo back in the center of her dresser. Then she very carefully removed her wedding ring and placed it in the jewelry box. She stared at it, a dusty gold against the black velvet, before she gently closed the lid.

Chapter Twenty-One

H onor opened the refrigerator and removed a container of orange juice. She carried it to the counter by the sink, lifted a glass from the dish drainer, and filled it. Phyllis sat behind her at the kitchen table, her coffee and morning paper at hand.

"I asked Quinn to go to the Annenberg with me on Friday night," Honor said quietly, turning to face her mother-in-law. "Can you watch Arly?"

"I'm free," Phyllis said. "I'll take her to see that new animated movie she's been talking about."

"That would be great. Thanks." Honor hesitated, reaching unconsciously to the ring on her left hand. The shock of its absence was momentarily distracting.

Phyllis watched the familiar movement, saw what had caused the odd expression on Honor's face, and then slowly raised her eyes to the uncertain brown ones that waited as if for judgment. "I like Quinn."

"So do I." Honor's voice was husky. "It's...a date...Friday night."

"You know," Phyllis said, rising to cross to Honor's side, "I don't just love you because you loved my daughter. I love you because I think you're a wonderful, warm, loving woman. I have only ever wanted you to be happy."

Honor bit her lip, her eyes brimming. It had been a very long time since she'd sought comfort in anyone's arms, but it felt right to rest her head on Phyllis's shoulder and shed the last of the tears for a past she could not change.

"I don't know what Arly or I would ever do without you."

"Well, I never intend to get very far away, so you don't have to worry." Phyllis leaned back and brushed the moisture from Honor's cheeks. "There's something special about Quinn—I could see it right away. And I approve of the way she looks at you."

Honor blushed, hoping that Phyllis couldn't see
too
clearly what had been transpiring between her and Quinn. "We're not...I mean, we haven't..."

Phyllis laughed and patted Honor's cheek. "I'll see if Kim and Dennis want to go to the movies with us, and afterward the kids can have a sleepover at my place. I'll even bring Pooch over for the night. You'll have the house here to yourself."

"Thanks," Honor said, still coloring. She was trying not to think too much about what might happen
after
the show Friday evening. The only thing she knew for certain was that she couldn't spend too many more nights dreaming of Quinn in her bed. Rather than finding the increasingly erotic fantasies satisfying, even when physically they
ought
to have been, she awoke with a craving that verged on pain.

As unsettling as the idea of opening herself to Quinn—to anyone—after all this time might be, the thought of remaining alone was far worse.

* * * * *

Friday evening, fresh from a shower and still in her favorite shapeless cotton robe, Honor knocked on Arly's partially open door and leaned her head into her daughter's room. "Do you need any help packing your overnight bag?"

"I can't find my pajamas." A scattering of toys, favorite books, and clothes lay over Arly's bed. Her Harry Potter duffel bag lay open on the floor.

"Which ones?"

Arly looked at Honor in amazement. "My
dinosaur
ones."

"Ah." Honor nodded seriously. "They're downstairs on top of the laundry basket."

"'Kay. I'll go get them."

"Are you excited about going to the movies tonight?"

"Yes! And Kim and Denny are coming, too, and then we're going to have ice cream at Grandmom's."

"Sounds like a lot of fun."

Arly nodded vigorously. "You and Quinn could come with us."

"Maybe some night, we will. Tonight, though, we're going to do something else. Just us."

Arly sat on the edge of her bed and regarded her mother. "Is it like...a date?"

Honor's brows rose, and she crossed the room to join her daughter. She cleared a space for herself on the bed and curled up on her side, her head propped on her elbow, her other hand resting lightly on Arly's leg. "Do you know what a date is?"

"Not really."

"A date is when two people who like each other spend time together. So yes, this is kind of like a date."

"Do you like Quinn a lot?"

"Yes, I do."

Arly bounced lightly on the bed. "So do I."

"That's good."

"Do you like Quinn the way you liked Terry?"

The question was so innocent, and so casually put, that Honor failed to feel the usual ache at the mention of Terry's name. When Arly had asked about the photo of Terry in Honor's room, Honor had explained that the three of them had once been a family, just like Robin and Linda and Denny and Kim. Arly'd seen pictures of herself as a baby with both Terry and Honor, but she had no specific memories of Terry.

"Everybody we care about is very special to us, right?" Honor asked with just a hint of unsteadiness in her voice.

"Uh-huh."

"But we care about each person a little bit differently, too. Does that make sense?"

Arly considered the idea seriously, then nodded. "Like I love you and Grandmom the same, only different."

"Exactly." Honor smiled. "So I can care about
both
of them a lot."

"Okay." Arly jumped down from the bed. "I'm going to go get my pajamas."

Alone, Honor lay on her back amidst her daughter's favorite objects, staring at the ceiling and contemplating her date with Quinn in just a few hours. Mixed with the thrill of anticipation was a healthy dose of nerves and misgivings. She vacillated between the certainty that she wasn't ready for any kind of emotional involvement and the equally clear knowledge of her compelling attraction to Quinn Maguire. When she couldn't reason her way forward, she simply decided to follow her heart.

* * * * *

At 6:30, the phone rang. Honor's heart sank.
She s canceling.

She let the phone ring, reluctant to answer it. A second later, she snatched it up, berating herself for her cowardice. With a calmness she didn't feel, she said quietly, "Hello?"

"So what are you wearing?"

Honor's breath left her on a rush of exasperation and relief. "God, Linda! You scared me."

"Huh?"

"Never mind."

"So? Let's hear it."

Smiling despite her nerves, Honor leaned back against the corner of the sofa, keeping one eye on the front door. "We're going to the Annenberg, Linda. It's hardly a formal event."