FATED (9 page)

Twelve

‘SERIOUSLY, wh
at the FUCK?... Jabby?’

Physically I felt myself take a step back. I wasn’t sure if it was from shock, or just a built in need to get away from the situation that was now presenting itself, right before my eyes.

I shot a look in Bella’s direction, just in time to see the happy look she had been wearing slide off. To be replaced by one of sheer dismay.

Ok, so she was as shocked as me then.

Nathan on the other hand, was sporting a cocky grin and was leaning back into the comfortable seating area, arms folded across his chest. ‘BINGO... I knew there was a bigger story to this, Alex? And I was correct. I would introduce you but it’s quite obvious you two have met before.’

I held up my hand to Nathan, gesticulating for him stop.

‘Shut the fuck up! Nathan, you know nothing... nothing at all. Why the hell couldn’t you just leave this alone?’ I heard Jabby shouting.

I couldn’t listen to any more of the fucked up, so called conversation, and I proceeded with my usual flight response. Rushing from the bar at the quickest pace I could manage, I didn’t even stop for my coat, and managed to bump into several people, in my haste to escape.

Oh my God, as soon as I hit the outside it was very evident I had made a huge mistake. The time had moved on and outside was slightly darker and very much colder. I wrapped my arms around myself, almost instinctively hugging. Just striving to keep the little bit of warmth I had left inside my body. Lifting my head I looked up at the clear evening sky, trying to use its sense of calm to help my panic stricken mind.

‘Frankie,’ came from behind me; it came from the only voice I had heard in my dreams these past few months.

My head was very gingerly shaking from side to side.

‘I don’t know what to say to you.’ I could still hear him, but I wasn’t going to trust myself to turn around.

‘Please, I need to know how you are feeling,’ he continued.

Listening to his voice, it was easy to tell he was probably only a couple of feet away. His breathing was deep and calm, probably trying to control his anxiety.

‘We need to talk,’ his tone suddenly changed, from the concerned one almost pleading with me, to complete authority.

‘Turn around... Frankie.’

I spun around with as much gusto as I could manage in my shocked state.

‘Who the hell, do you think you are?’ What gives you the right... to order me around?’

I wasn’t going to stop, to let him actually answer any of the questions I was asking of him. I needed him to know and see exactly how this had made me feel.

‘I don’t understand... what the hell is going on?’

‘How can I possibly be in your employ?’

My arm had now lifted and with every question I was happily stabbing my finger into the middle of his chest.

Why the hell was I even touching him? I didn’t have a frigging clue, but only knew that with each stab on his chest, each connection between us, I found myself calming down slightly. I gritted my teeth and felt my forehead pull into a tight-lined frown; I forced my arms to my sides. I refused to let myself touch this... I had no bloody idea what this was?

My cousin’s executioner?

My erotic fantasy?

My employer?

My control freak?

Swallowing deeply, I encouraged the bile that was rising to go back down. Maybe I should throw up all over his boots, Christ knows he deserved it.

‘I don’t know how to explain all this to you, Frankie,’ he stood with his arms open and palms pointing upwards. His body language was trying to encourage me to believe that he was being open and honest.

‘WELL. TRY. AT. THE. BLOODY. BEGINNING!!!!!’ My voice was so loud and I almost didn’t recognise it as mine.

‘Right OK I will, but you have to hear me out.’

‘I don’t have to DO ANYTHING.’

Jabby/Alex took hold of my elbow and started to lead me back towards the clubhouse. I shook myself out of his hold and felt instantly emptier at the loss of his touch. It was times like this that I completely and utterly hated my traitorous body. These times always seemed to be because of him.

‘OK I won’t touch you, but we need to be somewhere warmer to have this conversation, before you start to go into shock. So do us both a favour and follow me... please.’

The please seemed to come as an afterthought, so control freak probably wasn’t far wrong. Reluctantly I fell into step behind him, making my gaze settle nowhere other than the back of his head, several times it had tried to linger on his very squeezable backside encased in his jeans.

Bella was waiting for me just inside the door. With her was, it had to be said, a very mortified looking Nathan, who ran both of his hands through his hair over and over again.

‘We are going in here to talk; I’d appreciate it if you didn’t come in and allowed no one else to either.’

He had to be bloody joking? Right?

‘Who the hell do you think you are?... Bella is coming in with me and looking at Nathan’s face I think he needs to hear what the hell you’ve got to say, too.’

‘Fine!’ he forced the word out. He kicked open the wooden door with such strength and anger it banged on the inside wall causing the pictures inside the room to vibrate.

‘Sit down everyone, please be my guest,’ the sarcasm just rolled off his tongue.

Good, I had finally started to get to him.

We all entered a small office/reception area and the door closed behind us. Bella, Nathan and I took seats. I sat down on my hands as the compulsion to fidget with them was becoming all consuming. I gazed around the room, which was masculine in colour. The large furniture dominated the space, almost overwhelmingly.

I watched Alex walk slowly over to the bottles on a silver tray, he even moved like a God. I pinched the underneath of my thighs, reminding myself exactly what I was doing here. It certainly wasn’t to check out the local talent.

‘Drink?’ Alex questioned us all. Obviously his good upbringing bringing out his politeness, even in this fucked up situation.

‘Yes I’ll have a fucking drink,’ a very unsteady Nathan made his way over to the tray and proceeded to nearly fill a glass.

‘I can only start by saying how sorry I am that you found out this way, Frankie.’ Alex shot Nathan a seething look of derision.

‘I can only hope you will except my apology, and believe the sincerity behind it.’ Alex moved and sat himself on the edge of the desk facing us. He ran his hand slowly through his hair; and expelled a loud sigh. His long jean-clad legs stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankles.

I had to stop myself from laughing. The resemblance of the mannerisms between the two brothers was comical. He paused placing his thumb in the deep cleft of his chin and the rest of his fingers curled up in a fist underneath, he was quite obviously thinking.

Remembering what I was doing here in the first place, I shot back, ‘Are you sorry I found out this way, or sorry I found out at all?’

Alex closed his eyes and breathed deeply. When he reopened them I could see the amber flecks had widened.

Oh, so I was making him angry was I?

‘I cannot tell you how many times I have run through my head the best way to tell you what was going on here,’ he waved his arms around, ‘but where to start?’

‘How about at the bloody beginning, arsehole!’ I was shouting again and really needed to get a grip on my overflowing emotions.

‘You told me the day of the enquiry, if I ever needed anything from you to contact the liaison officer.’ I was up on my feet now and seriously pissed off, taking slow punctuated steps towards him.

‘Did I ever contact the Liaison officer?... No. I. Fucking. Didn’t.... I don’t need anything from you that’s why!’ My right hand flicked up quickly like I was swatting a nuisance bug, and slapped his face so hard I thought I would cry out from the pain it left behind.

The room was silent and Alex’s eyes were downcast. I clutched my right wrist, squeezing to alleviate some of the pain and heat it now held.

I was sure that Bella and Nathan were still behind me, but I couldn’t hear anything and I wasn’t turning to check.

Keeping my eyes firmly on Alex’s face I watched as he slowly returned my stare.

‘No I understand that... but the trouble is I needed something from you,’ his voice was calm and steady, it didn’t match the bright red mark from my hand slowly seeping its colour through the scruff on his face.

He continued, ‘My brother needed a damn good physio... he needed the best I could find and my investigations always came back to you.’

I was stood now with my arms crossed in front of me, shaking my head from side to side. I slowly turned to make my way out of this suddenly extremely claustrophobic room. Bella stood to accompany me. I placed my hand on the door handle and started to turn it, immediately appreciating the cold brass on my sore palm.

Just then I heard in that deep resonating voice I loved, ‘But most of all…’ He inhaled a deep breath, ‘I needed your forgiveness.’

The door handle squeaked as I continued to turn it. I lifted my other palm and placed it onto the wood in front of me. I pressed my forehead to it and closed my eyes.

This deeply embittered person was not the person I wanted to be. God knows I had witnessed enough of this, in my own so called family. I had always refused to become like them. Releasing the door knob I let it turn back to its original position and pushed the door shut, with a click.

‘Gorgeous girl?’ I felt Bella’s hand lightly resting on my shoulder; she spun me round and gave me a hug. ‘OK?’

I nodded to her and she sat back down, only this time next to Nathan. I watched her pick up his empty hand.

‘I think perhaps Nathan and I will go back to the bar, and we’ll wait there, is that OK... Frankie?’

I nodded my head slowly in agreement.

As they moved towards the door, Bella stopped suddenly and spun around, glaring at Alex, ‘You need to sort this bloody mess out, and fast. I don’t know what fucking game you’re playing, but if you take on Frankie, you take on me too.’

They moved out of the door, Bella studying my face as she left. Just checking again, that it was OK to leave.

Alex had his back to me now and was standing, but with his shoulders hunched, leaning over the desk. They shook slightly.
Was he crying?

‘Right I’m listening. Perhaps you need to tell me exactly what’s happening.’

Thirteen

ALEX

All I ca
n hear is the fucking ticking of the clock, on the wall directly behind me.

Tick, Tick, Tick.
  Just to remind me, I still hadn’t had the balls to start this fucking conversation yet. God knows, I had done so often enough in my head.

OK so she was going to listen to me. Where the fucking hell was I going to start?

Open your eyes and pull yourself together.

I grimaced hearing my stepfather’s voice in my head, something that I fought very fucking hard to always shut away, and leave back in the cupboard that he used to shut me in as punishment.

I lifted both hands from the table and pressed my index fingers into my temples and squeezed the dickwad out.

You little cunt.

Just like your wretched, weak father.

The words always came with a kick or punch
.
But rather me, than them.

I forced my eyes to open to the here and now. She was here and I really needed to sort out the clusterfuck Nathan had caused.

I had it all in hand; I was going to talk to her when the moment was right.

Who was I fucking kidding, I was good at sorting out everyone else, but me, well that was another story entirely.

I gave off the air of being totally at peace with myself, though. I presented a good poker face to the world. It’s probably why the family business was so damn successful, I was the master of letting no one in. The English public school I was sent to, away from my family, had definitely helped with that. I had learnt the ‘stiff upper lip’ that the rich instilled in their children from an early age, and my American/English accent always won over the American business world. I could slip easily from a NYC burr into a fairly decent English inflection.

I stood and pushed my shoulders back, taking a huge calming breath. I could smell her, although that was nothing new, I could always smell the orange blossom she used. It was one of those smells I would remember for the rest of my life and it would always take me back to the first time we had met. My balls tightened; before I turned to face the music I adjusted them quickly.

Fuck when had I become such a pussy whipped prick?

‘Thank you for staying and hearing me out, Frankie,’ I turned when I spoke and took in the now calmer vision in front of me. She had sat back down on the couch in my office. I approached slowly and sat down next to her. My whole body screamed out to take her hand and try to comfort her. She and JJ had been so close and I wanted in some small way to show her how I understood.

I sat with my body positioned so I could face her directly.

She was an absolute vision. I noticed every time I saw her, how beautiful she was becoming. One of those women that grew better with every year.

She didn’t see it though. Everyone around her noticed. I suppose that made her more attractive. The fact she had no need to flaunt herself, the fact that she didn’t even notice how heads turned as she walked by. Unlike many of the women I had used over the years for my sexual release. She was a natural beauty. No false tits, shit on thinking that I had begun to gawp at her full, ripe breasts. I lifted my eyes suddenly, hoping she hadn’t noticed. But of course she had and I heard her gasp, almost involuntarily.

FUCK, I needed her.

My balls that had hitched up earlier were beginning to ache like they hadn’t been emptied in weeks. I was like a fucking randy teenager, and being near her made it better and worse all at the same time. I realised this was the first time we had ever been alone.

Alex pull yourself the fuck together.

I slid my hand over to hers and took her fingers into my gentle but firm grasp. There it was, that electric shock; I always knew it would be there.

But fuck, I need to man the fuck up and quickly.

She didn’t pull away. Even though I knew she could feel the pulsating heat between us. I had seen the hairs on her forearm stand up, almost in surprise.

‘They exonerated me, but it’s not enough,’ I began, ‘I need to tell you what happened that day.’

Her eyes flew up from our conjoined hands to mine; I could lose myself in the very depths of them. The pupils were slightly dilated.

Shit, I turned her on.

I had felt the chemistry between us before.  I had never felt anything like it before with any other woman. Sure, they knew which buttons to touch, so to speak, but this was like I was magnetised to her. My jeans became fucking uncomfortably tight as I fought with an ever growing erection. Thank fuck I was leaning over with my elbows on my knees. Hopefully it wasn’t screamingly obvious.

‘Our mission was just to observe... we needed JJ as usual to interpret with the locals. We were trying to gain any snippets of information...’ I hated re-living this; God knows I did it enough in my nightmares.  Needing to carry on with the explanation I closed my eyes, hoping to break the connection between us. My free hand went up to my forehead and I smoothed out my eyebrows with thumb and first finger.

‘JJ was a professional; he knew what the risks were... But it was my fucking fault he died, we were led to an ambush and I took the decision to go there.’ I couldn’t hear anything over the sound of my own heart banging in my chest, and the deep gulping breaths I was taking, just to be able to continue with the story, in order to try and gain the vindication I so badly needed.

‘We lost three of our team that day...’ The pain in my chest was becoming excruciating and I coughed suddenly to try to relieve the tightness of it. Frankie hadn’t spoken up to now but her eyes must have always been on me, I could feel them.

In my guilt I now couldn’t meet her gaze.

‘I should have protected them, my mistake cost them their lives... It was all we could do to bring them out of there with us.’

‘I have apologised to your aunt and uncle several times, but I needed to do this with you. I know what a selfish fucker I am. I know how close you were, how proud he was of you. He spoke of you so often. He loved you so much,’ I sighed. Jesus this was more difficult than I could have ever imagined. In business I was so in control, I knew how meetings were panning out and could alter the outcome, just by judging people’s body language and altering my course appropriately. I lifted my spare hand and ran it through my hair, pulling slightly to cause discomfort, bringing myself back to the here and now and not what was going on with my crotch.

I looked down at our two hands as she squeezed mine tighter, by placing her other hand over the top.  Finally I lifted my eyes up to meet hers.

I couldn’t help myself; the magnet just pulled me in.

Lifting up my hand I ran my fingers gently through the long brown locks of her hair. It felt so good falling in-between my fingers. Her hair felt like thick pieces of silk. She stopped breathing, her eyes never leaving my face.

My hands looked huge against the side of her face as I tenaciously brushed the back of my fingertips across her cheek bone and along her jaw. My thumb brushing over her top lip, taking in the reddish pink blush and wondering if her nipples and pussy were the same gorgeous colour, or if I could bring enough blood to them, to make them the same gorgeous hue.  Her eyes closed and she began to shift ever so slightly in the seat.

Was I really this sort of bastard?

I had wanted her for as long as I could remember, and here she was pliant in my hands. It was the last coherent thought that ran through my head.

Fuck I was going to have her.

Grasping hold of her chin I lifted her face to meet mine as I came down to kiss her. She had to feel it. As our lips met, it was like being jump started. I was talking to myself, trying to get myself to take it slow. I knew she didn’t have much experience with men and I couldn’t fucking rush her.

Gently I ran the tip of my tongue along the seam of her closed mouth and sucked, oh so gently, on the fleshly pad of her bottom lip. She slowly and then suddenly all at once opened her mouth for me, her tongue jutted out to meet mine and she hesitantly joined me in our dance. I could kiss her forever and felt more like a fucking teenager than ever. Our kiss became more and more desperate. I heard the growls, which escaped my throat. I didn’t think I had ever been so turned on in my life. My cock was screaming to be released from its confines.

Quickly I moved my hands to the top of her arms and lifted her easily onto my lap, shifting myself to the back of the couch. She sat down quickly on my hard on, obviously being taken by surprise at the sudden change in her position. I continued to kiss her, not giving her time to think, in case she realised what was going on, with the bastard she hated.

My cock felt so much relief from the pressure and heat of her pussy.

With every breath in I could smell her arousal mixed with her orange blossom body wash. It was fucking intoxicating. Her nipples hardened against the rugby shirt she was wearing, I could feel them through our two layers of clothing.

The need to see them was all consuming, to run my mouth over and around them, to flick at them with my hot tongue. I could hear her almost whining with need.

My hands started to slowly rub up the outside of her thighs. Over her backside, stopping to flex all of my fingers into her firm arse cheeks, I pulled her quickly forward, closer to me, needing more relief on my cock as she gasped and moaned into my mouth. Slowly my hands moved, they lifted up and over her waist moving in symmetry to each other. I found them at the base of her rugby shirt. Reluctantly I broke off our kiss.

Resting our foreheads together, ‘I need this to come off,’ my voice was almost unrecognisable with lust, ‘I want you to tell me it’s OK.’ I hated asking the question and giving her time to think, but I would never take a woman against her will. Her body showed me she needed me, but fuck I am a greedy bastard, I want her head in it, too.

‘Yes...’ she whispered, her hands now running through my hair and pulling at the slightly long pieces on the top of my head.

‘You want me, baby?’

‘Yes! God help me.’

‘God can’t help you, but I sure fucking can... Holy Hell, what you do to me.’ I needed to be in her and soon, I wanted to luxuriate in her and with her and take all day to do it, but here in my office I needed it fast and hard. I lifted the bottom of her shirt up and she raised her arms to help me. Not taking it over her head, I left it so she was momentarily blinkered with her arms stuck above her head. I pulled down the cups of her dark blue lacy bra together. Running my hands over both of her tits, they felt so heavy with her arousal. She moaned and it was like music to my balls. I felt her push down further onto me, trying to relieve her own ache. Her nipples were imploring me to take them in my mouth and suck.

So, I did. Her skin tasted sublime and the reaction was immediate.

‘Oh, ALEX!’

Just hearing my name on her lips spurred me on. She knew it was me; she wasn’t just lost in the moment. Continuing to suck and flick at her nipples I started to rock her into my cock by grabbing onto her hips. I needed to get off in her, but the compulsion to hear her come undone was growing. She was so fucking close, I could smell it, I could hear it in her breathing, feel it in her almost sporadic movements as she rubbed against my cock to increase her pleasure.  But I needed to see it on her face. I wanted to watch her brown eyes roll into the back of her head, and to see the flush on her cheeks.

I released one of her hips and pulled at the shirt, to lift her out from her confines. Her hair was mussed, and it fell loosely around her shoulders. Her cheeks were as flushed as her lips and nipples. Her hands came down to my chest and she used the leverage to rub herself off on my cock, quicker, harder.

She was fucking gorgeous, I could feel the build up of my own release curling and uncurling at the base of my spine. Every moan and whimper she made, went straight to my balls.

‘OH MY GOD!’ she shouted and I quickly placed my mouth over hers to muffle her cries. I could feel every part of her stiffen and shake as her orgasm came and rolled over her time and time again, the rest of her sweet noises only for me as I licked and explored her mouth, pinching and rolling her nipples with both of my thumbs and forefingers. She seemed to go on forever.

I don’t think my cock had ever been so fucking hard. I couldn’t take anymore. My cock throbbed against its tight restraints, the heat of her pussy, her arousal filling up my nostrils and I ejaculated hard, inside of my jeans, without ever having had her hands on me, without even having the top button released.

I....seriously it was like being on a first date as a kid.

‘FUCK...FUCK... What you do to me, baby.’

It was the most intense orgasm I had ever felt in my life. I clutched her to me as tight as I could without hurting her. The world slowly came back into view, but I didn’t want to lose her to it just yet.

Suddenly the door burst open and I quickly rolled her off me and over to the side, away from the door. I didn’t want anyone to see her in just her bra and jeans, with her tits exposed. They were for my eyes only.

She is fucking mine.

‘Frankie?’ I heard her friend Bella. I turned my head slightly and raised my eyes to hers, questioning her.

‘OK, Frankie?’

‘We’re fine; close the door on your way out.’

‘I’m not talking to you, you arsehole. Frankie?’

She didn’t move out of my arms, which pleased me.

‘I’m OK, Bella, please... I’ll be out in a minute.’ Her voice sounded so small, she never even looked at Bella, and she hid in the crook of my neck.

Fucking hell she’s ashamed.

With relief I heard the door close; my body instantly sagged into the couch.