Fatal Impulse: A Widow's Web Novel (15 page)

“I
don’t understand.” Andi's jaw dropped. She'd never been so much as late with a payment, and paid on the account every month since Chad's death. Of course, before that the account had been paid in full every month. Now all she could pay was the minimum payment, but still. She paid on time, and the balance was small.

“You're welcome to use our telephone if you would like to call your card issuer,” Kelly said, gesturing to the phone on the glass-topped end table next to the sofa.

Dana opened her wallet and interrupted, “Here, just use my card for now and we’ll straighten this out later.”

Andi blinked and nodded. The woman took the offered card and left to process it. Stunned, Andi flipped the card pieces over and held them together so she could make out the customer service number. She dropped onto the sofa and dialed the number. After navigating the automated maze, she finally reached a live customer service representative and explained the situation.

To Andi's utter horror, the representative explained the account had been frozen. In heavily accented English, he said, "We received the notification from the cardholder's attorney informing us that the cardholder has become deceased."

She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Yes, that is correct. My husband is deceased, but I am his widow."

With a bored voice, the representative explained, "There is nothing further for to do, since the cardholder is deceased. The account is frozen and not to be used."

Finally, after trying in vain to explain, Andi hung up, frustrated and irritated and embarrassed. How could this happen? Every time she started to feel happiness, Chad reached out to hurt her yet again.

Kelly returned and Dana signed the charge slip. Andi hovered in the background as the other two women discussed the arrangements to have the dresses and accessories delivered to Dana's house.

As they walked out of the store, Dana said, "Still okay if we stop by the jewelry store? Maybe it'd be fun for you to have your wedding ring reset?"

Andi glanced back at the store front, still smarting from the embarrassment of having her credit card destroyed. She lifted her chin and patted her purse, where she'd put her wedding ring just that morning. "You read my mind. I'd been considering doing just that."

They drove past the harbor and pulled into Jewels by the Sea, where they started in the bridal section, and Dana tried on several beautiful rings. She kept going back to a thick gold band sprinkled with diamonds. It was unlike anything Andi had ever seen before. The price tag made Andi's eyes pop, but the saleswoman, Josephine, pointed out that a wedding set is something you wear every single day, with every outfit, for life, so it should be something that you really, truly love.

Perhaps that was why Andi had been disappointed when Chad surprised her with her ring. The solitaire was huge and her wedding set wasn’t what she would've picked. It looked more like a fancy cocktail ring than a wedding ring. It stuck up too high from her finger and caught on everything. Not practical, not beautiful. Her mother described it as ostentatious.

After Josephine helped Dana, she turned her attention to Andi and asked if there was anything she could show her. Andi explained that she wanted to reset her wedding ring and engagement ring. Given the recent credit card fiasco, she hoped it wouldn't be too expensive.

The woman nodded and said, “Ah, yes, we see a lot of divorced women come in to have their stones reset into right hand rings or pendants, or even earrings.”

Andi caught the word divorced, and saw Dana wrinkle her nose. She'd caught it, too. Apparently widows didn’t usually have their stones reset. But Andi wasn’t an average widow. Her wedding ring didn’t hold happy memories. She pulled the box from her purse and flipped it open. The diamonds sparkled under the bright lights of the store displays.

“I was thinking something in a pendant,” Andi said, almost as a question.

The saleswoman took the ring out of the box, then produced a jeweler’s loupe from her pocket and held it up to her eye. She squinted and said, “Oh, I think we can find something special for you to commemorate your lost love.”

The door chime rang. Andi glanced up and felt her heart drop. The raven-haired beauty she'd seen with Paul walked towards her. No, she didn't walk. She floated. Her  thin t-shirt and skinny jeans clung to her slender form, long lashes framed dark chocolate eyes, and her flawless complexion completed her perfection. Her straight, black tresses reached nearly to her waist. Her face broke into a wide smile as she approached, and Andi froze.

A
ndi swallowed hard, and wondered what to say to the woman, but she walked right past, never even so much as making eye contact. Her eyes focused at a point at the rear of the store. Andi let her breath out in a rush, and blinked as the woman glided past.

Dana’s fingers gripped her arm, squeezing tightly.

“Here we go, ma’am. Perhaps we could do something in platinum?” The saleswoman pulled out a couple of empty settings while Andi watched the images in the mirrored wall.

Andi shook her head, "No, I don't think I can afford platinum. Perhaps something in silver?" She looked over Josephine's shoulder as Paul’s wife greeted a lanky, scruffy looking man with wavy blonde hair who looked even younger than she did. She tipped her head up and presented her cheek for him to kiss, then he put his arm around her shoulders in a casual gesture of protectiveness, and they bent to look at watches in the case.

Andi half listened as Josephine chattered on about the various settings that would work with the stones from her ring. She nodded and mmm-hmmmmed, while she continued to watch the mirror with curiosity as Paul’s wife – it occurred to Andi that she didn’t know his wife's name - selected a matching set of Citizen watches, and paid with a gold credit card. The two of them admired their new purchases as they walked past Dana and Andi and out the door, the chime merrily announcing their exit.

Andi felt frantic with the need to follow them. Maybe this meant Paul was telling the truth about his marriage. She rubbed her temples and said, “Dana, I’m sorry, but I’ve suddenly got a horrible headache. I’m going to go out and get some fresh air.”

Dana looked at her sideways and frowned, but followed Andi out the door. As soon as Andi pushed through the door, she looked to her right and saw the handsome couple strolling away, arm in arm.

“What are you doing?” Dana demanded. She stepped in front of Andi.

Andi pushed past her, shrugged and tracked the couple so she wouldn’t lose them in the meandering tourists that filled the sidewalks.

              Dana hissed in a loud whisper, “Are you out of your mind? Don’t get caught up in this. It’s a tangled up mess, and you don’t need any part of it.”

Dana grabbed Andi by the arm and spun her around. Her green eyes flashed, her cheeks flamed and her lips pressed together in a thin line. “Would you get your head out of your ass, just for a moment? I have put up with your sorrow, your guilt, your whining and going on about messing around with a married man, but I am
not
going to let you ruin my engagement."

"I'm not-" Andi protested.

Dana cut in, "Oh, yes, you are. We came up here to pick out my wedding ring. You drag me out of the jewelry store before I'm ready, and now you want me to tag along with you while you chase after your lover's wife?!"

Andi jerked her arm away, feeling her own cheeks burning. "First of all, he is not my lover, and second of all . . . "

"Second of all, what?" Dana's fists perched on her hips, green eyes flashing.

Suddenly, Andi deflated.

Her best friend was right.

Dana deserved to be the center of attention today.  Andi shook her head and sagged. "Damn. I don't know. I'm sorry."

Dana stuffed her hands in her jacket pockets and turned to walk toward the Jeep. Andi followed, feeling like a heel, but couldn't help glancing back down the street one more time. She spotted them a couple blocks down, where they disappeared into another store. There was a sandwich board outside. Whoopie's. Andi quickened her step, and caught up with her best friend just as Dana put her hand on the passenger door handle.

Andi grabbed Dana's arm and said, "I'm sorry. Do you want to go get something to eat, then go back to the jewelry store?"

Dana sighed. "I don't know. I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have blown up at you like that. It's just that I saw Chad treat you like dirt for so long, and now I can see the same thing happening with Paul, and-"

Andi protested, "Oh, no, Paul treats me great-"

Dana's red curls swung as she shook her head. "No! No, he doesn't. Can’t you see that? He's
married
."

Andi latched onto the only thing she could. "To a woman who's cheating on him." She lifted her chin stubbornly.

"And he's cheating on her. Sounds like an upstanding guy to me. Perfect marriage material." Her best friend's voice dripped with sarcasm.

To Andi's surprise, her temper flared. She took pride in the fact that she and Paul hadn't let it get physical. The muscles in her jaw clenched. "He's not cheating on her. He and I are just friends."

Dana snorted. "You may be just friends now. But he'd sleep with you in a heartbeat if you gave him the signal. And who knows how many other 'friends' he has."

Andi did not like the way the conversation was going, so she tamped down her anger. "We'll have to simply agree to disagree. What are you hungry for?" Seemed like she was always trying to placate those around her, trying to keep them happy, avoid confrontation.

"Fine. Soup and a sandwich, maybe?"

"Want to just walk over to the Harbor and get something from the Crab Shack?" How long had it been since she suggested a restaurant? With Chad, he chose. With Dana, they always ended up at the Black Sails.

Dana hesitated, then said, "Sure."

Things remained tense between the two friends but they relaxed as they ate. After they finished, they returned to the jewelry store. Dana looked at wedding rings for a little bit, and Andi finally settled on a new ring. She chose to have the center stone reset, with the little diamonds channel set on either side, with some added tourmaline. She went with sterling silver, in spite of Josephine's upturned nose. At least it was something she’d wear. And something she could afford. Josephine promised to call when the jeweler finished it. Andi knew she might have to pawn something to pay for this new ring, but it would be worth it to get rid of the wedding ring.

Andi invited Dana back to her house for a drink, but she opted out, saying she was tired and just wanted to go home. When Andi reached her subdivision, she noticed a familiar dark sedan about a half a block behind her. She frowned into the rearview mirror and continued on home. The car followed the whole way, then parked just up the street as she pulled into the driveway. Just when she started to relax, something happened to jerk her back to reality. Fear niggled at her as she glanced over her shoulder at the vehicle rumbling quietly down the street.

As she turned the lock, she noticed a bouquet of bright spring flowers sitting on the corner of her front porch, tucked against the house. She picked the arrangement up and plucked out the card. It read simply, “With love, P.” 

She inhaled the fresh scent as she slipped her key in the lock, then placed the vase in the center of the hall table, with the card tucked so that it was just peeking out. A smile lit on her face at his thoughtfulness. Chad hadn't ever sent flowers. She peered out the front window. The dark car was gone.

T
he next couple of days dragged along. Out-of-towners kept her busy at the tourism center, but Andi spent every spare moment dreaming of what her life could be like. It felt like a blank canvas. Life with Chad had been dull, boring, black and white. Since his death, her life was colorized. When he was alive, she walked on eggshells around him, and felt like an empty hull.  Now, she felt energy coursing through her and could scarcely wait for the adventure that awaited her.

One afternoon after work, she walked through the big empty house and felt it was time for a change. Cutting her hair had been a great first step, and she loved how free she felt with her new pixie cut. She could scarcely wait for Paul to call every day, as she knew he would. This time, she would be ready when he called. He asked every day about going through Chad's things. She would prove she could let go of the past.

Clearing out Chad’s closet took priority. She wasn't sure why it took her so long. It wasn’t that she was holding on to him – it was more a matter of not wanting to be bothered with it.

She went into the bedroom and flung his closet doors open. She hadn’t been in there since the day she selected a suit for him to be buried in. Her thoughts had been foggy then. She'd jumped at every shadow, sure someone out there knew her secret and would come forward. But it had been months. The insurance company still hadn't paid, and the police detective followed her around sometimes, but that had gotten to be nothing more than a nuisance. It felt like time to clean things out and put the past behind her.

She flipped through the clothes hanging on the rod. She tugged the dress shirts off the hangers, then folded and stacked them neatly on the bed. She had just turned back to the closet and the telephone rang.

The male voice on the phone was overly friendly. "Hi, there! May I speak with Mrs. Adams, please?"

"Speaking."

"You may have seen me in the neighborhood. I live across the road and down a few houses, the little white cottage with the green picket fence?"

She frowned, cautious. "Yes?"

"My wife saw the sign in your yard and we wondered if you might be willing to sell without going through the real estate agent? See, we're expecting our first child and are looking for a larger home, but because of the baby coming, money's tight and--"

"I'm sorry," She cut in. "But you'll have to work through the real estate agent."

"But--"

"I'm sorry," She repeated, then clicked the end button as she shook her head. As if it wasn't bad enough having her house sold out from under her . . .

With a sigh, she turned her attention back to Chad's clothes. All were nice, most were name brand and like new. They would make someone very happy. A sad smile crossed her face as she touched his worn brown leather jacket. He had worn it the night he proposed. So soft and supple. She ran her fingers over the smoothness, memories of a happier time flooding back.

He'd surprised her with a weekend trip to Boston over the Christmas holiday, then wined and dined her like she’d never experienced before. They'd only been dating a few months at the time. The romance began when she was waitressing at a barbecue place in Kansas City during college.

She'd been completely shocked when he slid the box across the table to her just before dessert was served. He smiled and asked, “Will you marry me?” in the most everyday voice, as if came natural to him.

Of course, after her wedding, she suspected he simply didn’t care all that much. It was his mother's idea after she found out they were sleeping together. He likely found it a convenient way to keep her close and under his thumb. Leaving college after her junior year seemed stupid in hindsight, but at the time, he promised to take care of her and she happily believed him.

She snorted and shook her head. Even the good memories were tainted now.  The Salvation Army would be able to make good use of all of Chad's things. Even the leather jacket. She checked the pockets and pulled out a pair of driving gloves, a little pack of tissues and a pale pink linen business card. She turned it over. It was simply a name, Portia, and phone number: 207-631-5555. She didn't recognize the prefix. She shrugged to herself, then stuck the card in her jewelry box.

The name reminded her of one of her favorite movies, A Fish Called Wanda. Portia was the name of the daughter of the barrister played by John Cleese. Silly, the way a mind connects things sometimes.

Quickly, she checked the pockets in all his jackets, and found several useless items, a lot of trash, a few receipts that she sat aside to file, and several wads of cash. When she counted it, it came to over $2,000 in small bills. She wrapped the money in a sock and stuck it in the back of her underwear drawer. With Chad gone, she needed an emergency fund.

The telephone rang as she flipped through the phone book looking for the number to the Salvation Army.

“Hello?”

“I know what really happened,” The voice was slow, like a tape dragging. “And that will be our secret if you give me the papers.”

"What papers?"

"You know what papers." The speaker clipped off the last word, not pronouncing the "R." Mainers did that all the time, but this accent sounded different.

“Who is this?” She strained her ears to identify the vaguely familiar voice.

"If you don't give them to me, I'm going to tell everyone what you did."

She clicked end and looked around as if someone might be watching, swallowed a lump in her throat, then jumped when the phone rang again.

“Hello?” A tremor sounded in her voice.

“Hey, lover,” Paul’s gravelly voice greeted her. He waited a beat, then said, “You sound funny. Everything okay?”

“No.” A part of her hated herself for wanting him to come over so badly, for needing him. “Someone’s been making prank calls, and with me being here all alone, I’m starting to get freaked out about it.”

Without hesitation, he volunteered, “Want me to come over?”

She took a deep breath, then said with a waver, “No, I’ll be okay. There’s just been a couple today-“

“A couple?" He paused, then asked, "Are you sure?”

“It’s not a big deal.” Her voice broke. She hated being alone almost as much as she hated being scared.

“I’m on my way over.”

She sat the phone down and felt a little thrill at his protectiveness. The smile faded when the phone jangled again.

“Hello?”

“I want the papers back that Chad took from me. I’ll call back with details of the drop.”

“I don’t have any papers! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Why did this person keep calling? Why wouldn't he believe her?

"Don't hang up on me again." Laughter crackled across the phone line and his voice lowered dangerously. “I’ll get them from you . . . over your dead body, if that’s the way you want it. You get the papers and I’ll call back with instructions.”

She clicked the end button and threw the phone across the room, then sank to the floor and hugged herself. Her chest rose and fell as she sucked in deep breaths. She didn't have any papers, didn't know what he was talking about. Even if she gave him all the papers from Chad’s desk, what would stop him from going to the police? She'd be exposed. Everyone would think she murdered her husband.

The doorbell chimed, jerking her out of her stupor. She rubbed her eyes, then hurried down the steps to answer the door. She hesitated and looked through the peephole to make sure it was Paul before she let him in. The door creaked as she opened it just a crack. He looked great, as always.

The more she thought about it, the more he reminded her of Pierce Brosnan. Absolutely gorgeous, and those piercing blue eyes melted her very core.

He cocked his head and opened his arms as he stepped towards her and enveloped her in a hug that made her feel safe and secure. She imagined greeting him like that every day when he got home from work, and snuggled in closer. He always smelled so fresh and clean, never artificial. In contrast, Chad smelled like Eternity. She squeezed her eyes shut, and breathed in Paul’s scent. She hadn’t realized until that moment how deeply she hated being alone.

Something bumped her side and she looked down to see a plastic grocery bag hanging from his wrist. He held it up and grinned. “Ice cream.”

Nothing comforted like Rocky Road.

Slowly, he walked her backwards into the foyer, and pulled the door shut behind him. He leaned against the door and flipped the deadbolt, then tilted her chin up with one finger so they were gazing into each other’s eyes.

“Now, tell me when this started.”

She shrugged and looked away. “A couple of days ago.”

His dark eyebrows pushed into a V as he took hold of her hands and pulled her close. “Well, I’m here now so don’t worry. What does he want?”

"Nothing." She wanted him to hold her, take care of her, make it all better. She played the damsel in distress, and he served as her knight in shining armor. A part of her hated that, but she quickly suppressed that voice.

"He's got to want something." He traced her jawline with his index finger, then ran it up and around her ear. "Maybe you should give him what he wants and be done with it."

“No, really, I’ve already turned the phone off. I don’t want to deal with it today. I just want to get my mind off of it. And now that you’re here,” She wanted so badly for him to stay, so she went for the one thing that she could count on to get a man’s attention. She slipped her index finger under his belt buckle and tugged. “You can help me get my mind off of it.”

He laughed and shook his head, but the laughter didn’t touch his piercing blue eyes as he looked over her shoulder. He frowned and said, “Who do you think the caller is?”

She waved the question off. “Oh, probably somebody Chad owed something to. He wants something he says Chad took from him, but I have no idea what he’s talking about.”

He brushed a stray tendril of dark hair back from her face and said, “Now that I’m here, want me to help you go through your husband’s things? We can work on it together. Maybe we’ll find whatever that guy is looking for.”

She shook her head. “I started packing things up already. Figured it was just something I had to force myself to do.”

He blinked and the lines in his tanned forehead deepened. “I told you I would help you do that.”

She focused on his belt buckle and rubbed her thumb over the smooth metal. “I know, and I appreciate that, but-“

One corner of his mouth twitched up in a half smile. “Did you get much done?”

She shrugged. “Got through most of his clothes.”

He placed his hands on her shoulders, spun her around and began to knead them like a cat. “Did you find anything?”

“You mean besides lint?” She looked back at him and smiled. It felt so good to have someone close. To touch someone. To be touched. Since he hadn't responded to her attempt at seduction, she thought the next best approach was his stomach. "Want some ice cream?"

He grinned, displaying his dimples. "Thought you'd never ask."

She took his hand and guided him towards the kitchen. She dipped two bowls of ice cream and held up the chocolate syrup. He nodded and she swirled the dark liquid over the ice cream. They carried their bowls into the living room. She curled up on the couch and he sat next to her. The ice cream was smooth and creamy, with chunks of gooey goodness that added just the right crunch. They sat facing the big picture window, and looked out at the blue-green harbor stretched below them.

As they ate, he relaxed visibly. She finished hers and sat the empty bowl on the coffee table. He sat his nearly-full bowl next to hers and said, "Okay, enough relaxing. Let me help you go through Chad's things so you can put that behind you."

“I don’t want to even think about him right now. Come on,” She leaned towards him. “Distract me.”

“I can’t stay long.” The smile melted from his face. “Besides, the last time I was here, you insisted I leave my wife.”

Panic bubbled up. Maybe she pushed him too hard. “You can’t blame me for trying.”

“Then you were distant with me when we talked on the phone last week. And you didn’t want to go with me Saturday.” He pulled back and looked away from her.

He sounded quarrelsome and she didn’t like that. Desperation pecked at her, persistent and annoying. She didn’t want him to leave, didn't want to be alone. She pulled him closer and they sank into the supple leather. She touched the frown lines that creased his forehead, smoothing them with her index finger.

“I wanted to be able to see you on Saturday, but I had plans with Dana.” Her voice caught in her throat. “And I’m having a really hard time with the fact that I’m falling for a married man.”

He smiled sadly and shrugged. “I can’t do anything about that right now. Caren and I have a . . . unique relationship. But I can tell you it makes me very happy to hear that you’re falling for me.”

Her heart thudded in her chest so loud she was sure he could hear it. She shouldn't have told him that. She caught her lower lip in her teeth. He ran his fingers through her thick hair and tilted his head. "This is such a good look for you. So sexy."