Fatal (20 page)

He gave an almost imperceptible nod.

"So... your final test is killing a monster all by yourself? You have to kill Adam?"

"I was. I've been watching him a while now, trying to figure out the best time. Then you and he... Well, I don't really know what's going on there. I decided to give it a bit more time. But now... but now!" he said, slamming his fists down onto the island hard enough to shake it.

I jumped back, my heart slamming.

"Now he's gone and killed someone. And I could have stopped it, if only I'd had the balls to do something sooner."

The veins in his neck stood out, and his shoulders heaved as he took long, gulping breaths. Was this what I looked like when I blamed myself for this whole thing?

"
It's okay, Vick. He knows what he's done. Do you know where he might have put the body? Jenn's body?"

Vick shook his head, running his hands through his hair.

"No. I've never actually seen him outside as the wolf. Seems whatever system he has going works... usually."

He started
pacing up and down the kitchen, rubbing at his chin and staring at the shiny linoleum floor.

I just wanted to get out of there, now. It took all that time just to learn that he had no clue where I should start looking. Also, he looked about ready to start blowing steam out of his ears.

It was back to square one. A ball of dread formed in my stomach as I thought of confronting Adam again. He was so torn up about all this. But I had to put him through it again, until we found her. Then... Well, then I would make sure he was locked up in that room of his every time that change happened.

"Where are you going?" Vick said.

"I have to get to class."

"Wait... You have to promise me you'll stay away from him now."

I took my hand off the kitchen door and let it flop back and forth in front of me.

"I can't. I have to find her, and he's my best shot. Besides, someone has to make sure he doesn't hurt anyone. I can do that. Now, I have to go."

"Stop!" Vick said, getting right in front of me. He really was a built guy, and quite imposing. I kept thinking he should be on the football team.

"It's obvious you care for him. And you know what? He actually sounds like an okay guy. But he's got that thing inside him. Yeah, he seems able to control it or lock himself up most of the time. But he's already lost it and killed one person. What if it happens again, Stephanie?" he asked, putting his hands on my shoulders, "What if next time it's you?"

For a moment, we just looked into each other's eyes. I could see the worry in his as they examined me. It was touching that someone could feel that way about it, and it actually was a little strange to be on the receiving end. Was this how my mom felt for that whole year every time I looked at her?

But I'd helped my mom. And I could help Adam, too. Still, what Vick said struck a chord. I had so many mixed feelings about Adam. On one hand, I kept thinking about our kiss. That confirmed that he liked me back.
On the other... Jenn's face kept surfacing in my thoughts. For a moment, her bloodless features were replaced with mine and I shivered.

"Let me by," I said, giving his hands pointed looks.

Vick nodded and released me. Before he stepped aside, though, it seemed he had one last thing to say.

"Look, at least take my cell number. If anything happens, I promise I'll answer it right away.
No matter what."

"Fine," I said, digging my phone out of my pocket and handing it to him. A few seconds later, he gave it back with his number programmed in.

I was just about to slip through the kitchen door when he touched my shoulder.

"And Stephanie?
Don't tell him about me, okay?"

I didn't give him an answer. Instead, I walked out of that frat house and tried to get everything set for my next class.

Chapter 29

Every night that week, Adam turned. I knew because I spent each of those nights at his house. Each evening, after class he would come and pick me up from my dorm in that BMW.

It seemed each day that went by without finding Jenn added another ton or two to the weight sitting on his shoulders.

My coursework suffered, of course. It was all I could do to attend class and
try to sit there with glassy eyes, shaking myself from my stupor every few moments to try and scratch something down on my notepad.

I knew my grades would start slipping soon. There were end of term essays due. I hadn't even finished reading
Jane Eyre
yet, let alone written down any sort of thesis or outline for the ten page paper I had to turn in.

All that stuff seemed to pale in importance when I sat across from Adam in his kitchen.
I still hadn't seen any of the staff he'd talked about, but I assume they'd come and gone several times. The fridge was always stocked, and the whole place was spotless and smelling of cleaners.

Though I had to admit it was almost good to feel like someone depended on me again. It was like old times back in Pasadena. Except now I wasn't running to the pharmacy to hand over a bunch of rolled pennies for a
prescription.

"I thought that werewolves were only supposed to transform during full moons?" I said one day, twirling my fork in the
spaghetti on my plate. It was just plain pasta and plain red sauce, nothing fancy.

The red sauce was a mistake, I thought. Adam could hardly look at it.

"If only," Adam said, "The full moon can cause it. But strong emotions are also a trigger. That's why I try to stay away from most people, usually. People make you feel things. If I don't hang around with many, I don't have to feel that way. See?"

I did. It sounded like such an empty, unfulfilled life. Yeah, it seemed somehow easier. With fewer people around you, there'd be
fewer arguments and disagreements, not so many disappointments, or any of those other negative things. But the opposite was true as well.

It would be simply existing, rather than living. And that was a feeling I was familiar with.

After getting a suitably large amount of spaghetti onto my fork, I shoveled it into my mouth.

My heart went out to him. There was so much potential in there, but he was cursed for something that happened so many years before he was even born. Why should he suffer for something a family member of his did so long ago? It just didn't seem fair.

I was so lost in thought that when he dropped his fork onto his plate, the sharp noise of it nearly made me topple backwards.

Adam lurched from his chair, pulling at that torn jacket. I'd told him to get rid of it, but he just wouldn't. He said it reminded him of what he'd done.

"It's happening..." he said, his face already twisting with pain.

Sunlight still came in through the windows. It was so early for this. Still, I jumped out of my chair and made my way around to him. I'd become somewhat accustomed to his transformation now. And this worried me.

It was getting faster, every time. I wrapped his arm around my shoulder even as waves of fear washed through me. There was already a deep rumble in his throat, and if he opened his clenched eyes I knew they'd be a different color.

I
almost dropped him down the stairs to the basement as we made our way down.

I yelped as his fingernails turned to claws and pushed into the flesh of my shoulder.

"Steph... I'm so sorry, Steph..." he groaned, not even sounding like himself anymore.

"
It’s okay, you're going to be fine. It's all going to be fine," I said through my teeth, unsure if I even believed myself anymore.

He practically jumped into the scarred room with the big door. The first few nights, I'd sat in front of it, listening to his tortured noises as he became the wolf. Tonight, they receded behind me as I walked back up the stairs and to the kitchen.

There, I pulled out my phone and put it down by my now cold plate of spaghetti. I kept thinking about what Vick had said, right before I left him in the frat house.

He'd said, "What if next time it's you?"

I thought about that, turning it over in my mind, my body curiously cold. It still hadn't snowed outside yet, but the chill was a bitter one. I always wore a long-sleeved sweater and full jeans each day.

What if tomorrow he transformed before I got him through the door? Then it really would be me. What if for some reason I wasn't around, and it happened to him and got outside?

Then whoever died because of it... their blood would be on both our hands, then. I wasn't certain Adam could take another murder.

And we still hadn't found Jenn's body.

I brought up Facebook and looked at her profile. There were messages on her wall from family and friends, imploring her to come back, to let everyone know she was okay.

Those wrenched at my heart, because I knew she wasn't okay. That she'd never respond to any of them ever again. I pulled up her profile picture.

Downstairs, the wolf howled. No matter how many times I heard that sound, I never got used to it. It pierced right through the floorboards and the walls, went into my body and tickled at the base of my spine.

I shut my eyes, waiting for him to finish. It went on far too long. It was a good thing he didn't really have any close neighbors. Anyone who heard it would be calling the cops right away.

I asked myself why I was still doing all this. Why was I helping him at all? Vick watched us, I knew. He let my see him a couple times.

Each instance, our eyes had met. It was a look that said, "Why are you doing this? Leave him alone, and I'll take care of it."

Maybe it was that it all seemed so hopeless. There was no cure for lycanthropy, as far as Adam and I could find out. He was doomed to spend his life like this.

It was a similar feeling to when I first found out about mom's cancer. The doctors had all rated her chance for survival quite low, especially since our insurance made it clear that they wouldn't be covering any of the new and experimental procedures and drugs.

It had all been hopeless, then, too. But then that pharmaceutical company came along, our lifeboat on that stormy sea. Every time I talked to mom on the phone, she sounded a little better, a little stronger.

I guess I was holding out for a similar raft to find Adam and me out there as the waves tossed up about. Right now, I'd settle for some life jackets, or even just a couple pairs of those little arm floaters that little kids liked so much.

Just any sign of hope would do.

My bed was a big, overstuffed black couch in a small study down the hall from the kitchen. Adam had offered me a room upstairs, but it felt so lonely up there, so quiet.

I fluffed my pillow and stared up at the ceiling, hoping to wake up to that glimmer of hope we both needed so badly.

Chapter 30

As per our usual arrangement, Adam dropped my off at my dorm the next morning. He looked haggard and hopeless, all the blood gone from his face as I stepped out of the car.

The campus seemed especially busy today. I had to jump out of the way as a gaggle of students made their way past on the sidewalk, ignoring me as they spoke excitedly among themselves.

I walked up the path towards my dorm, looking around, feeling a little strange. Something was really off, today.

All the students moved about in groups no smaller than three or four.
If it was an all-girl group, then six or seven seemed more the minimum.

And through all that was the quiet. Yeah, there were tons of people around, but they all whispered to each other so that a car driving by in the distance was enough noise to wash them out.

It was all so unnerving that I speed-walked up to my room and closed the door behind me. Class was coming up in about forty five minutes, and in that time I had to shower, change, and try to get as much of the reading done as I could manage.

I
grabbed up my shower supplies, bundling them all in my towel, when my cell buzzed.

I had it on silent, but the sudden noise still startled me. I grabbed it up from my desk and frowned down at the number. It was one I didn't recognize.

Who had my number? And why were they calling now? The phone buzzed against my palm as I bit my lip, looking down at it. Should I answer? What if it was Eric ready with another disgusting pickup line or offer?

That was ridiculous. How could he get my number?

Shaking my head at my own ideas, I hit the answer button and held the cell to my ear.

"Hello?" I said.

"Uh, yeah. Hi?" a girl's voice said. It sounded somewhat familiar. "Is this Stephanie?"

"...Yes?" I said, shifting my bundle in my arm, trying to find a comfortable position for it.

"Oh, hey! This is Michelle Stein."

"Who?"

"I lived down the hall from Jenn. Look, I, like, just wanted to say I'm really sorry about all that. If it was my friend, I just don't know how I'd handle it. I'd flip."