Fasten Your Seatbelts: A Flight Attendant's Adventures 36,000 Feet and Below (5 page)

Meanwhile, the passenger acted as though he had done nothing wrong and was again trying to charm me. The galley flight attendant suggested I go ahead and give him his beer to shut him up.
I hate rewarding bad behavior
.

I rushed into the cockpit to complain about this guy.

“We really need to get this passenger off,” I said.

The pilots were junior also. “Well, uh, I’d appreciate it if you could handle it back there, but if you can’t, let me know.”

I walked out of the cockpit knowing they were not going to be of any help.

The agent returned to the aircraft. “I am really sorry you guys,” she said. “The passenger has 425,000 miles in our mileage program.” At the time, the program was fairly new, so 425,000 was a big deal. “I can’t take him off the aircraft, but I will personally talk to him.”
I couldn’t believe it
.

The first class flight attendants and I huddled around to watch as she had her little chat with the passenger. At least he did not do what he had done to me, but we could see his temper flaring. The agent came to us white as a ghost. “I told him he couldn’t have anything to drink for the rest of the flight.” she said as she turned around and walked off the aircraft.
Oh great!

I walked past the misbehaving passenger to pick up some glasses from our pre-departure service. On the way back, he once again stopped me. The sweetness in his voice was now bitter. “No one has ever challenged me on the aircraft. Do you know how much I fly? I am going to have your job.” I just looked at him and smiled politely. Still having several months of probation left to go, I wasn’t going to let this idiot ruin my career.

An hour passed and as promised the airplane taxied away from the gate. This was a quick dinner flight from Dallas to Chicago. The flight attendants had to work hard to accomplish the service. As I passed by Mr. Gutter, he stuck his leg out and tried to trip me. Later, I heard an obnoxious whistle. I used the other aisle in an attempt to avoid him. Nevertheless, I still heard his outrageous remarks. “Hey b----, get over here, use this aisle.” I had never been treated this way in my life. The other passengers must have been afraid of him because no one intervened.

Finally, the dinner service was over and we landed. I did it!

I later told my supervisor about the incident in case the passenger acted on his threat and wrote a negative letter. He said if the passenger had written me up, he would have no choice but to let me go.

Today, twenty some years later, I could have a passenger who behaved that way arrested for crew interference and assault. The flight attendants and agents are not allowed to board any intoxicated passenger. Thank God some things change.

long time ago, we had a fleet of 727 aircraft. The airplanes aged and were no longer cost effective, so our airline fazed them out. We were working a flight from Toronto to New York. It’s a very short flight, but somehow our 727 managed to give us a headache, or on this flight, an earache.

After the plane took off, it was ascending its way to 33,000 feet. It didn’t quite make it, though. My ears began to hurt. They plugged up and wouldn’t clear. I did the Valsalva maneuver. That simply means you pinch your nose, close your mouth and gently try to blow air through your nose. I tried to yawn really big and kept swallowing, hoping to clear my ears. It wasn’t working.

Looking into the cabin, I saw some of the passengers holding their ears with their mouths wide open. It actually looked comical, but under the circumstances wasn’t funny at all.

I was the number one flight attendant. Our procedure for an emergency situation is to go to the cockpit and ask the captain
for pertinent information: How much time do we have? Are we going to evacuate? What’s the signal for an evacuation?

I entered the cockpit and saw all three pilots with their oxygen masks on.
This can’t be good
. I heard the flight engineer say, “It’s going out, it’s going out, there goes the automatic, and there goes the manual.” Apparently, a tear in the pressurization seal had occurred. I felt my body tense and stood for a moment in shock. When the pilots noticed me, they waved me out of the cockpit.
What about my information?
I left the cockpit with my ears still hurting.

Now knowing we were in an emergency situation, I scrambled to the galley to lock it up. The aircraft took an immediate dive. I grabbed the oven door to catch my balance. Within seconds the plane leveled out and reached a safe cruising altitude above 10,000 feet. If they had continued to fly the plane at the higher altitude, the passengers would have had up to three minutes without oxygen before they lost consciousness. The ear pain eased, and due to the close proximity of New York, we continued on with the flight without further incident.

Later, the captain said because we had not reached our cruising altitude, he made the decision not to deploy the oxygen masks. Now, all of our aircrafts have an automatic deployment system.

There are three types of decompression: slow, rapid and explosive. On this flight, we had a slow decompression.

A rapid decompression could include cheek and lip flutter along with ear pain and the possibility of chest expansion. This can occur due to a malfunction of the pressurization system.

An explosive decompression can occur quickly due to a tear or hole in the fuselage (the aircraft’s body). This could cause a loud bang or rushing air. There may be flying debris along with fog in the cabin. A decrease in temperature may also occur. At this time the oxygen masks immediately drop. Passengers using oxygen would do so until the captain says it is safe to breathe on your own.

A decompression is a very rare occurrence.

on’t ask me why anyone would want to have sexual escapades in the airplane lavatory. But it happens all the time. Well, actually I only saw it happen two times, but I hear about it frequently.

I was asked, “Have you ever joined the mile-high club?” What is that? I asked naively.
We fly a lot higher than a mile
. When I found out what it was, I was pretty disgusted. If anyone knew how much urine or vomit was on the restroom floor, I guarantee the romance would fizzle in a flash.

I was working a trip with a friend of mine. We commented at the beginning of the flight how cute and in love this one couple looked. It was a night flight, so the cabin was romantically dim.

My friend Stephanie called me in the galley.

“Hey, I’m on the back jumpseat. The male passenger went into the lavatory. He was in there for a minute or two when his partner came to join him.”

“I’ll be right there,” I excitedly said.

Thank goodness we didn’t have any passengers who needed to use the restroom because they were in there for more than just a quickie. Stephanie and I had our ears glued to the door trying to contain our giggles. When we heard the door click, we fled the scene.

The other time was not so funny. I was welcoming the passengers on board, when I, along with everyone else, noticed a female who was scantily dressed. She wore a very short, black patent-leather skirt with a zipper on the back and looked like a prostitute. She pranced to the back of the aircraft — all eyeballs following her.

A handsome businessman was behind her while boarding. He sat next to her, but it didn’t seem like they belonged together. Sure enough, my instincts were right. I stopped to chat with them. He chuckled while speaking, “Yeah, we met out in the airport bar. She said she’d give me $10 if I would sit next to her on the flight.”
Hmmm, I see a ring on his finger
.

They purchased a few more drinks on the flight. I walked by and saw him giving his new friend a back rub.
Uh-oh
.

The next time I walked by, tongues were flashing between passionate kisses.
This was not good
.

Then, neither one were in their row of seats. I went to the back where the lavatories were located. Only one of the two was occupied. I waited by the door feeling as though I were taking on the role of a very disapproving chaperone.

Click went the door and out she pranced. She smirked at me, fluffed her hair, and walked on by. The door opened again and out came the businessman. He looked at me with a grin bigger than the Grinch’s.
Shame on you
.

After landing and deplaning, I walked behind them. The man’s wife and three children were there to meet him. He gave his wife a quick peck on the lips and hugged the kids. His in-flight companion’s boyfriend was there to meet her. She walked off hand in hand with him.

ne of my friends and I used to fly together all the time. We loved our jobs and tried to help out people as much as possible. On this flight we were flying to an international destination, so you have to clear Customs and Immigration after landing.