Fasten Your Seatbelts: A Flight Attendant's Adventures 36,000 Feet and Below (34 page)

Apparently, we weren’t the only ones who had a bad day. I was surrounded by four very loud Spanish speaking gate agents who were extremely theatrical, one sitting to my right, one sitting to my left, and two standing directly in front of me. I sat in my own little world as they jabbered on for the whole bus ride as if I weren’t there.

One of my crew was sitting across from me. She made eye contact with me and knew exactly what I was thinking and burst out laughing. One of the agents caught on and said they had a lot of things happen to them that day. I told him I knew the feeling and everything is fine.

At 1:30 a.m., almost in a comatose state, I pulled my car in the driveway. It was exactly twelve hours later from when I was supposed to arrive. My Saturday was gone; however, I did gain a memory.

irst class used to be my favorite cabin to work. I felt like a hostess at my own little party and I enjoyed conversing and serving the passengers. One flight, many years ago, that carefree attitude all changed. I have heard many customers complain of bad flights due to rude flight attendants. My story is the exact opposite and it involves an incredibly rude passenger that affected me for years.

There are only a few little things that I don’t enjoy about my job: I am uncomfortable cutting in line through security to work my flight. I don’t really care for hanging up heavy coats (especially long, furry ones) in the wintertime. Lastly, and the one I enjoy least, is taking passengers food preferences in first class.

On each flight, the flight attendants are given a cart filled with trays, one for each passenger expected in first class. Passengers usually have a choice for their main entrée, such as
barbeque chicken salad or a roast beef sandwich. Unfortunately, everyone may not get their first choice.

Our airline’s standard procedure is to take preferences on an even flight number starting with the forward part of the cabin. On odd numbered flights we start from the back. This particular flight was an even-numbered breakfast flight.

After takeoff, I began preparation for my service by starting the coffee and getting my hot towels ready to go. Then, beginning with the front row, I asked each passenger if they would prefer corn flakes served with a banana and blueberries or a cheese omelet. On this flight, everyone wanted the omelets, which left only the cereal for the last row.

Passengers in 6A and 6B took it gracefully; however, the businessman sitting in 6E, whom I now refer to as Dickey Suit, threw an absolute tantrum. “What do you mean you are out of omelets? I am on a special diet and I need protein.” (This is when the Atkins Diet was the latest craze.) He continued throwing his hands up in the air. “I can’t believe this. I paid good money to sit up here and I WANT MY OMELET!”

I studied this grown man with his eyebrows deeply furrowed having an absolute meltdown in my cabin. “I do have warm bagels to serve.”

He quickly snapped back, “Bagels are NOT protein!” After a long pause, he then spit out, “I will take the cereal!” I

I looked at Mr. Suit blankly then turned and asked the passenger in 6F if he would be eating. He quickly nodded his head yes.

I entered my galley and said under my breath, “That is it; I will never work first class again!”

I avoided working first class for years. Flight attendants often called me to switch trips with them. My first question asked, “What cabin are you working?” If it was the number one position, I told them no way.

In January 2012 it happened. I messed up my bidding for the following month and mistakenly pressed the number 1 key on the computer for my position selection.

A few days later I checked to see what I held for February, and there it was in black and white: Selection 142, Position 1. It had to be a mistake; the scheduling department must have screwed up. No way would I have bid number one. After a period of denial, the reality sunk in. I must have made the wrong position selection when bidding.

I dreaded working the following month like the plague. Many changes occurred up front during the years I had avoided serving the first class cabin. I used to work on a Super-80 and now I was going to work a brand new 737 aircraft. Instead of reading from a PA card to brief passengers, an automated message delivered it for us. I simply had to queue it up and hit the right buttons. All the new gadgets were a little intimidating for me.

Attached to a wall is a control panel we use to program our flight. You simply input the flight number and flying time in the device, and it makes all of our announcements for us. A woman’s voice speaks softly as she makes the seatbelt PA, exit row announcements and the safety briefing about the 737. This is a wonderful concept as long as it works. Because of all the unpredictable glitches, though, we have named this system Sybil. Sometimes she does not take directions well and will not work.

So in the week prior to first class service I prepared myself as best I could mentally. How hard could it be? I was lucky to have my good friend Donna working with me, so that made me feel a little bit better.

On that dreaded day, I drove to the airport an hour early hoping to get on the airplane and study the first class galley. It was a morning flight out of West Palm Beach where there is no catering facility. That means the food was brought in on a flight the night before and stored in an air-conditioned room. That also meant there would be only one entree to serve, which was cereal. To eat or not to eat, that was the question.

As I entered the airplane, I immediately eyeballed Sybil. She looked innocent enough. I checked the emergency equipment to make sure it was there. I unwrapped the cereal into the bowls. Then I realized it was like riding a bike. My previous years of setting up the galley came flooding back to me.

Eventually the crew came on and asked why I was on the airplane so early. I explained the situation, and it got a good laugh. The captain pulled me aside to brief me about the flight.

I still felt a little unsure, especially while imputing the information into Sybil. I tested out the system, and it worked fine. Throughout the boarding process, Sybil’s voice was heard informing everyone the correct placement for their luggage. Working in coach for so long, I forgot what it was like to say “welcome” to everyone coming on board.

After all passengers were seated and the overhead bins were shut, the agent closed the door. “Ladies and gentlemen the agent has closed the forward door,” I announced. “Turn off all electronics and cell phones at this time; anything with an on and off button needs to be turned off. Flight attendants prepare your doors for departure and cross check.” (Believe it or not, I had successfully avoided working first class since the incident with Dickey Suit, pre-dating the cell phone era, which means I never had given an electronic or cell phone PA)! I told the captain how many passengers we had on board and closed the cockpit door.

The aircraft pulled away from the gate. Palm Beach airport doesn’t have a lot of airplanes taking off at the same time, so it is usually a short taxi before takeoff. I made a welcome announcement with the flying time and weather for D/FW. I then pushed Sybil’s button to give the safety briefing about our
737 aircraft. I waited and waited and thought, “Come on Sybil, not
this
morning.” But she wasn’t awake yet and decided not to speak. Knowing I didn’t have much time, I quickly called the other flight attendants to retrieve the equipment needed to manually brief our passengers. Panicking, I retrieved my PA card out of my bag as the other flight attendants stood in position with seatbelt in hand.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we ask that you give your attention to your flight attendants as they brief you about the 737 aircraft.” I took a deep breath and calmly read the instructions. It was amazing how the announcements came right back to me, somehow etched in my mind from years of practice.

The service went beautifully as Donna and I worked together with poise and professionalism. I enjoyed it immensely as I felt it was my own little party again. Two passengers gave us thank you cards for excellent service.

Looking back, I realized I should not have let one rude passenger’s immature behavior affect me so much. Remember, the next time you are flying to be kind to your flight attendants; they are trying to do their job as best they can.

xhausted! Why am I so exhausted?
Maybe it’s because I have just worked three legs across the country over a fourteen hour day on hardly any sleep.

Passengers talk to me all the time about other flight attendants and other airlines. It’s no surprise that they measure the airlines by the quality of the flight attendants and their flying experience with those crews. Oh, Southwest airlines flight attendants are this. Well, Delta’s flight attendants are ___􄈬, American’s flight attendants are____􄈬, etc., etc. Here is the bottom line: We are all pretty much the same, just
plane
tired.

A flight attendant’s job is largely dictated by their seniority. When we are first hired, junior flight attendants are placed on reserve. Everyone pays their dues. As the company hires more flight attendants, we are eventually bumped off the reserve list. There was a lull in hiring which stagnated seniority
for an entire population of flight attendants, holding them on indefinite reserve until hiring resumed.

As our seniority increases, we are able to hold better trips. Every month we submit a bid sheet for the following month. We select positions, sign-in times, layover destinations, and our days off. Early in my career, I would dream about all those low stress senior trips. For example, one leg to sultry Puerto Vallarta in the morning and have the whole day to relax. The next day all you had to fly was one leg back to Dallas. I’m sure the flight attendants working those flights were happy and had plenty of smiles to go around. Well, those days are gone and those cushy layovers are pretty much nonexistent — at least where I am based.

Before 9/11, we negotiated a contract that pleased everyone. The flight attendants had received a pay raise and enhancements to work rules and benefits. We were all so excited to participate in our company’s success! For three months, we were able to enjoy that raise. Flight attendants were buying the homes they could now afford. Some were upgrading their old cars for new ones.