Fast Women (34 page)

Tim ignored her to look at Suze. "You really did it, didn't you?"

"Yes," Suze said. "I kissed your wife and I really liked it and so did Riley, and Gabe is dragging her off to bed even while we sit here. And you are a fool, but then, as Riley says, we knew that." Tim drew back and Suze went on, suddenly fierce in her determination to tell him the truth, to tell somebody the truth. "I loathe you for what you did to her, but I'm also glad because you set her free. She's so happy now, she's got something besides that stupid insurance agency to live for, and she wouldn't have you back as a gift, so it's all right now, but I will never forgive you for cheating on her and hurting her. You are scum."

Tim said, "Now wait a minute," and Whitney tugged at his arm.

"That's what I mean," she said to him, her distress clear in her voice. "They're just doing this to upset you. It's all lies. Don't listen to them. They're just trying to pay you back." She stroked his sleeve, and Suze thought, She really loves him.

Tim looked from Suze to Whitney to Riley, relieved. "Sure. That's not like Nell. I don't believe-"

"Believe it," Riley said. "What's the scar under her belly button from?"

"Laparotomy," Tim said automatically and then stopped.

"I noticed it while I was down there," Riley said. "And from her reaction to what I was doing, I'm surprised you even knew it was there."

"Ouch," Suze said and turned to Whitney. "All my sympathies, honey."

Tim stood up. "You people have no morals."

"You fucked a chippie and betrayed your wife and son," Suze said. "Get your own morals, slimeball."

"That's it," Whitney said and dragged Tim toward the door.

"'Get your own morals, slimeball'?" Riley said to Suze when they were gone.

"I hate him."

"Understandably," Riley said. "That's no reason to descend to his level."

"I couldn't get to his level with a backhoe. He's beneath contempt."

"See, that was better. Not great, but more imagination than 'slimeball.' Want another beer before I walk you home?"

"Nope." Suze slid her chair back. "I've had enough stimulation for tonight."

"Too true." Riley looked at the check and put a couple of bills on the table as he stood up. "I can't believe Gabe stuck me with the check."

"He had places to go and Nell to do."

Riley held the door for her, and she stepped out into the cold street. "That guy was born for monogamy," he said, as he took her arm. "First Chloe for nineteen years, and now Nell for eternity even though she drives him crazy. He just keeps holding on."

"It better be for eternity." Suze thought about jerking her arm away, but it was nice being supported like that. Firm. Warm. She could be independent when she got home again since that was her only option anyway. Independence should be a choice, not a punishment. She thought about Nell, about the months she'd spent frozen in shock, and then remembered her tonight, laughing up at Gabe. If he betrayed her, too…She stopped and turned to Riley. "If Gabe's just playing around-"

"Does he look like he's just playing around?" Riley sounded exasperated as he tugged on her arm, making her walk with him again. "Does he act like it? If anybody else had pulled the stuff she's pulled, she'd have been fired long ago. He's in this for good."

"Maybe." Suze slipped a little on a patch of ice and felt his grip on her arm tighten until she had her balance back. "He looks like he's nuts about her. But so did Tim once."

So did Jack about me, once.

"You want guarantees?" Riley said. "There are no guarantees. But Gabe is not a cheater or a liar, and he's taken Nell into his life, not just his bed. He's not Tim." He sounded more than annoyed, but before she could apologize, he added, "He's not Jack."

"I'm sorry," Suze said. "I forgot he's your friend."

"He's my friend, my partner, my mentor, and my family," Riley said. "Do not criticize Gabe."

"Right. Forget Gabe. We've still got six blocks to walk to my house. How's your life?"

"Hell. The place I work has turned into the WWF crossed with Sex and the City. Gabe's a quiet kind of guy, he wasn't born to be that mad or that happy. Let's talk about something else."

"Okay. What do you want to talk about?"

"So you're wearing the T-shirt and Nell is in the pajama top," Riley said, and Suze laughed and told him everything and then some, embroidering the story as they walked, implying that she and Nell had visited places they hadn't. By the time they were through the park, she was a little breathless from her own story, and by the time they climbed the steps to her cold, empty house, Riley had been silent for some time.

"I may have made some of that up," Suze said as she fumbled for her key.

"No, no," Riley said. "If there is a God, that was all true."

She unlocked the door and pushed it open, hating the dark emptiness inside. "The point is, it was fun. This divorce stuff isn't so bad," she told herself, as much as him. "Look at all the things I'm discovering about myself."

"And sharing with others," Riley said. "That's important."

It was dark on the porch so she couldn't see his face, but she could hear the smile in his voice, and something more.

"I'd like to share it with you, too," she said, exasperated, remembering the kiss he'd turned down on New Year's Eve, "but you're not interested." On an impulse, she stretched up on her toes and kissed him before he could duck, meaning to make it quick, so she could say, Isn't that better than just thinking about it?

But he kissed her back, hard, following her as she sank back on her heels, and her blood went hot on the instant. He pulled her to him and she leaned into his solid bulk and lost her breath. When he finished the kiss, she held on to him, tighter, gripping his coat because she knew he was going to step away, and she didn't think she could stand to be alone again.

Don't make me go into that house alone.

"That was dumb," Riley said, his breath coming hard. "I apologize." He tried to pull back, and she held on for dear life.

"If I push this," she said, "if I kiss you again and stick my tongue in your mouth and climb all over you, will you go to bed with me?"

Riley took a deep breath. "Yes."

Suze's heart skipped a beat. "Should I?" she said, wanting him to stop being such a passive clod, such a kissee, and tell her yes.

"No."

"Why?" Suze said, letting go of him. "I don't get this."

Riley leaned back against the brick wall, and when he spoke, he had his breath back and sounded angry. "When we were talking tonight, did you want me?"

"What? At dinner? No, I wanted to make Tim and Whitney pay."

"Yeah. That was clear. So did Nell. But she wanted Gabe more. She was a lot more interested in turning Gabe on than in making Tim sorry. Everything she said, she pitched to Gabe."

"Oh." Suze tried to remember. Maybe she'd been reading Nell wrong. "Okay. So?"

"You had no interest in me, which is okay. Many women have no interest in me. The only time you want me is when you're alone. You're going into the big empty house, so you reach for me. In most cases, I'd be all for it, but this is not most cases, this is you and you are a mess right now, and you're trying to take me down with you. Which does not mean I won't go if you ask again. I'm only human, and you are hot, kid, no doubt about it. But it's going to be bad afterward, and you know it."

"It's not just being alone," Suze said, trying to be honest. "I really want the sex, too. I miss it. It's been weeks."

Riley let out a stifled sigh. "You want to wake up with me tomorrow?" he said, and Suze thought about it, about dealing with the reality of him in the daylight.

"No."

"That's okay," Riley said. "I don't want to wake up with you, either." He reached past her to shove the door all the way open. "So we'll go in there and fuck each other because it feels good, and then I'll leave." He gave her a push. "After you."

"You bastard," Suze said, standing firm. "You make it sound horrible. Why can't you just take advantage of me like any other guy would?"

"Because I am not any other guy," Riley said. "Although if you don't get your ass in there and lock the door, I will become him."

"You really do want me?" Suze said, and Riley said, "Oh, Christ, that's it, I'm coming in. Find a wall, and brace yourself." He pushed her harder toward the door, but she pushed him back as she stepped inside.

"No," Suze said. "You win."

"If I win, why am I outside?" Riley said.

"But you're wrong about me not wanting you for you,"

Suze said. "I do, sort of. I'm still not over Jack, although

if he really did sic Whitney on Nell, I hate him-"

"What?" Riley said.

"- and I really could use the sex, and I hate being alone, and I'm looking for somebody to save me, you're right about all of that, but you're in there, too. There is definite zing with you, and I'm not getting it with anybody else."

"Really?" Riley said. "Maybe we should talk about this."

"No," Suze said. "Because if we talk much more, I will sleep with you for all the wrong reasons, and then you'll be right and I'll be wrong again."

"Maybe they're not the wrong reasons," Riley said. "Maybe-"

"Good night," Suze said a little breathlessly, and shut the door in his face before she could do something stupid.

Through the glass she could see him wait a minute, and then he went down the steps, his broad back disappearing into the darkness of the street. She thought, I wish you weren't going, I really do.

She watched from the front window as he turned down Fourth Street, heading back across the park to the agency, half hoping he'd turn around and come back. When she couldn't see him anymore, she dropped the curtain and heard a car start up across the street. She drew the curtain back again and watched a BMW pull away, gunning its motor.

Jack.

I bate you, she thought. Watching me. Hurting Nell. And even then she remembered how sweet he could be, how passionate, how good most of that fourteen years with him had been. That was the problem with marriage. It sunk its hooks into your soul and left scars that were with you forever. They should warn the people who were getting married about what it was going to do to them. How it shaped your life and changed your mind and altered your reality until you didn't know who you were anymore. How it hooked you on the presence of another person, maybe somebody you didn't even like very much, maybe somebody you didn't even love anymore, and made you need that person even when you didn't want him at all.

Marriage was a drug and a trap and an illusion, and kicking it was hell.

I'm glad Riley didn't stay, Suze thought. I'm glad I'm alone.

And then she went upstairs to bed.

An hour earlier, Nell had kissed Gabe in the darkened agency office, exhilarated that she'd faced down Tim and relieved she and Gabe weren't fighting anymore. He'd caught her around the waist and pulled her to him, smiling down at her in the dim light from the street, and she thought, I have to stop making him so mad.

It was the same thought, she realized, that she'd had way too many times with Tim. That was sobering enough to make her step away.

"What?" he said, some of the light fading from his voice.

"Nothing," she said. "Have I mentioned that I'm crazy about you?"

He slid his arms around her again. "So tell me the rest of the Suze story."

"There wasn't any more. She kissed me. She wasn't you. Since then I've been kissing you."

"Thank you," Gabe said. "Anything I can do to show my appreciation?"

"Yes," she said, and shoved him toward the couch. He stumbled back in the dark and sat down on it hard, and she straddled him before he could stand up again.

"This is probably not a good idea," he said, testing it with his hand. "This is not the sturdiest-"

"Which is why I keep asking for a new one," she said, settling against him closer. "A safe couch that won't collapse under us. Or the clientele, for that matter. Kiss me and tell me we can get a new couch."

He put his hands on her thighs, moving them up under her skirt. "We've had this conversation. You don't get a couch. Come upstairs with me and you can have something else."

He leaned toward her, and she put her hands on his chest and pushed him back. "Wait a minute. I have an idea."

"Always bad news for me," Gabe said.

"Here's the deal, Dino. I am now in golddigger mode. I will let you do unspeakable things to me on this couch, right now, but you have to buy me."

"With a new couch," Gabe said, looking up at her in the dim light, his eyes hot on her and his hands hotter under her skirt, and she thought, Oh, hell, with a paper clip, anything, take me.

"Yes," she said, her chin in the air. "I live for my job."

"And you fuck for it, too." Gabe shoved her skirt up to her waist and then pulled her close, and she shivered as she felt him hard against her. "Very professional," he said. "Did I lock the street door?"