Far From Home: The Complete Second Series (Far From Home 13-15) (31 page)

She felt something pang inside her chest like an emotional rubber band. "I really wish we'd stayed in touch. I don't know why we didn't."

"It's just the way it was," Will said. He reached up, pushed a lock of hair away from her face. "But that doesn't mean it has to be that way now, Jess."

He gave her a soft kiss on the lips, so tender it turned her legs to jelly. She turned and left before she found herself unable to do so. As she walked away, she heard the airlock seal behind her and though she knew he couldn't possibly be standing there, watching her depart, she still turned her head to look.

Of course he wasn't.

I'm a fool
, she thought.
A complete fool. We've not even spoken for years and now we're kissing like a couple of teens again. What's up with that?

But as ridiculous as the situation may have felt, she knew it was right. It all seemed so natural to be in his arms again, to feel his lips against hers. Exactly the way it had been before.

Del tried telling me I'd neglected my love life for far too long,
she thought as she walked away.
Perhaps he was right.

6.

"So you want me to pass this on to the crew," Chang said. She looked down at the data tablet in her hand and sighed. "I just can't believe they're going to mothball us."

Jessica glanced around the room. Mickey's bar was busy as ever. It always had been a highlight for visits to the station, even when she'd been a cadet. They sat at the bar. Jessica picked up her glass, swirled the liquor in the bottom about, the ice cube clinking with each movement
.
"We have to accept it, Lisa. After all, we're here to serve."

"Doesn't mean I have to like it," Chang said.

"No. It doesn't. And for the record, I'm just as angry as you. But there's very little I can do about it. The real concern is what's to come of us. I don't know if I'm ready for this family to be broken up, posted to different ships," Jessica said. "It feels wrong, somehow."

"Have you met this Admiral Kerrick yet?"

She shook her head. "Not yet. I'm due to see him later tomorrow. Hopefully I'll have some answers."

Chang shrugged. She lifted her glass, offered a toast
.
"To the
Defiant
. And her valiant crew," she said. "Whatever becomes of them."

"I'll drink to that," Jessica said. They touched glasses then downed their drinks.

Chang stood, the data tablet under her arm. "I'll get on this straight away. Make sure everyone from the
Defiant
is in the know."

"Okay Commander," Jessica said with a weak smile. She waited until her second in command had left before ordering another drink.

"Is that a medicinal remedy prescribed by your personal physician?" a voice asked her from behind. She cocked her head to one side. Dr. Clayton settled onto the stool Chang had previously occupied. "May I?"

"Of course. Drink?"

He shook his head. "It's usually a bit rowdy in here for me. But I thought I'd pop my head in, see if I spotted a familiar face. Imagine my surprise when I saw you in here."

"By
familiar
face you mean me, correct?"

"I guess so."

She sipped her drink. "Is there a problem, doctor?"

"Several in fact, but I'll keep it simple. I've been leaving you messages that have gone unacknowledged. Why?"

"I didn't feel the need to answer them."

"Meaning, you didn't want to talk, am I right?"

"Maybe."

"Why? It doesn't make sense, Jess."

Jessica drained her drink, slammed the glass down on the counter. It went unnoticed amid the clamour of the bar, but it made the correct impression on Clayton.

"Perhaps I don't want to talk to you about my feelings, Doctor. Perhaps I don't want to have to explain the way I've been hurting since the Commander died."

"It helps to talk about it," Clayton told her, his voice lowered. "You shouldn't bottle it all up inside."

"No, you're right. Damn right. I shouldn't. But you know what? As the captain of that ship out there, I don't have a choice. What do you want me to do about that, eh?"

The barman put another shot in front of her. Jessica reached for it but Clayton got there first. He moved it away, his hand over the glass. "It's not the answer," he said firmly.

"No? And what is?"

"How about putting yourself to use and try finding that woman? She's responsible for this, not you," he said.

"You're talking about vengeance, doctor. Wrath. One of the big guns when it comes to sins I believe. I'm not sure that's part of basic instruction at the academy these days," she said sarcastically. "Turn every opponent into your own personal Moby Dick."

"No, well, I don't expect it is. But sometimes the old ways still work. I don't think your Father would have sat around, knocking back cheap booze. He'd have been out there, doing what he could."

"That's not fair to bring him into it," she said. "And anyway, it's out of my hands. They're taking the
Defiant
away from me."

"That's unfortunate. I didn't know that." Clayton eyed the drink warily. "What is this garbage anyway?"

Jessica looked up. "Tarcalian Tequila."

Clayton shrugged and downed it one go. His face contorted in revulsion as the aftertaste hit. It was enough to make her giggle
.
"Woah . . ." he gasped.

She couldn't help but laugh, her anger dissipating, as it always did. "You're meant to ease yourself in. That would have been my fifth."

"Gut rot," he gasped.

"Maybe," she said, the laughter subsiding. "Listen, Doctor. I didn't mean to be rude. Or aggressive. Or whatever. But this is a confusing time for me right now. Del's gone and by the looks of things, my ship and my crew are going to follow suit. On top of that I just bumped into an old flame of mine."

"Really? What, and there's still something there?"

"I think so, yeah. Definitely. And I should be riding high after that, but I'll tell you what, the reality of what I have to tell my crew just hit me. I needed a drink. I needed to feel sorry for myself again."

"Then I'll tell you what I think your Father would've told you, if he were still around. Don't let things go. Hang on. Take it from an old man who's spent his whole life in space. I never settled down with anyone, I never went after the things I wanted," Clayton said. "If they're taking away the means to hunt Cessqa down, then find another way. If this guy is someone special, Jess, then don't let him out of your sights. Time's ticking on. All the time you sit in dives like this, it passes all the quicker."

"Yes. Yes, you're right," she said, sitting straighter.

"Don't just sit on your ass waiting for others to make the decisions for you. There's gotta be something you can do to influence things . . ."

He got up, patted her once on the shoulder and started walking away. Jessica reached out, caught his wrist
.
The Doctor turned back.

"Doctor, there might be something," she said. "Do you remember telling me what your friend saw on Outland?"

"Yeah. Why?"

She smiled. "Can you spare an hour?"

*

"Thanks this will come in handy," Captain Shaw said. "That gives us a name and a face to track down when we get there."

"Well, whatever I can do," Clayton said. He dismissed himself and Jessica watched him go.

"That could be the lead that breaks it for us," Shaw said. "You've saved us a lot of work hunting down the witnesses."

"Yes I thought it might come in handy," she said. They stood outside the airlock. On the other side, the
Spectre
stood prepped for departure. "Is Commander Ardai not about?"

"I'm afraid not. We're about to go. Did you, uh, want me to pass something onto him?" Shaw asked awkwardly.

"Oh no. Just tell him . . . tell him I'll be in touch," Jessica said.

"Uh huh," Shaw said. He gave his thanks once more, then bid her farewell. "I'll keep you posted, Captain."

"Thanks," she said.

Captain Shaw went back to the
Spectre
and she stood there a while longer, wondering if she should wait until it left. But she decided against it, decided to just go. Decided to get the ball rolling. The doctor had been right. There were still things to do. With or without a ship.

Whatever happened.

Vengeance
.

At first it seemed a dark word. Something untoward. But on reflection, it meant so much to her. After all, Cessqa was not the only one responsible for Del's death. There was, for example, whoever had ordered the
Enigma
breached in the first place – ordered a team to go in there and steal some of Cessqa's crew
.
And there were the engineers behind the hybrids Grimshaw and Captain Shaw told her about.

Weren't they all similarly to blame for what happened?

She walked to the nearest comm. panel and found the designation for Dr. Gentry. He didn't answer straight away
.
"Hello? Who's there? What time is it?"

"Doctor Gentry. It's Captain King."

"Oh, hello,"
he said. His voice was groggy, as if he'd been in a deep sleep.
"Uh . . . what can I do for you?"

"I'm on my way."

"Well, that is to say, I, uh, I've just woke up . . ."

"Then grab a shower, cause I'm coming," she said and cut the connection.

Time to work,
she thought.

7.

Commander Chang looked from one face to the other and realised with dawning dread that she hadn't the foggiest idea how to begin.

Why was I chosen for this?
she asked herself.
Because with Greene gone, I'm now the second in command . . .

It hadn't occurred to her that she would be filling the void Del had left behind. A terrible thought, to think rank was an endlessly rotating wheel of opportunity. One person moved on, or died and you got your chance to do your best in their place.

It was enough to make her shudder.

The head of every section on the
Defiant
was present in the conference room. They chatted amongst themselves as she prepared her notes. Carefully written out, revised twice before leaving her quarters on the station – and yet now she found herself unable to even look at them.

The words she'd scribbled on the data tablet didn't even make sense. They were as good as garbled hieroglyphics.

Nerves. Calm down,
she told herself.

"Excuse me, everyone," Chang said.

They continued to talk, oblivious to what she'd said.

"Excuse me!" Chang snapped. All chatter died away. "That's more like it. Please be seated."

She waited for the room to be completely still before breaking out the bad news.

"The Captain has asked me to hold this meeting as she is currently indisposed aboard the station. I'm afraid I have some bad news. Please be sure to pass this on to the rest of the crew after the meeting."

Captain, why can't you be here doing this?

She cleared her throat. "We have been informed that the
Defiant
is due to be decommissioned. Details are forthcoming, but far as we can tell, there will be no further expeditions in this vessel," Chang said. There were several gasps from those in attendance, but nobody dared to interrupt. They were eager for details. To pre-empt questions, Chang eagerly continued. "That's all we know. A combination of her age, and the amount of resources it will take to refit her yet again make such an effort an unviable option in the eyes of top brass. Rest assured, the Captain is as shocked by this news as I imagine you all are."

She looked at the Chief. Meryl sat with her head down, looking at her hands. Not a good sign. She'd never been one to stay quiet, to withdraw into herself.

Not good.

"It is our belief that the crew will be sent to other vessels, but that is pure speculation on our part. Please wait until you hear official word," Chang explained. "I really don't know what to say to you all."

A hand rose. She tried to pick the face out of the crowd and found herself unable to put a name to the man standing at the back. "Yes?"

He dropped his hand. "Thank you commander. I just wanted to ask what was the real reason King didn't tell us this herself."

"What do you mean, Mister?"

"The fact that it's bad news. And she probably didn't want to break it to us herself," the man said. "So she sent her right hand in here to give us the bad news."

"I'm not sure I like your tone," Chang growled. "The Captain has her reasons for it. Believe me."

"Well . . ." the man started to say.

"Enough!" Chang snapped. He stopped talking. Lisa looked from one officer to the next, sure to make eye contact. "If any of you have a problem with what's about to happen, or take issue with the Captain's decision making in this instance, please speak up. I will take you to see the Admiral himself, to voice your concerns."

The room was deathly silent.

"Right," she said. "Pass it on. The
Defiant
is no more. Our people are to continue as they are until they receive official word. Dismissed."

They slowly shuffled out of the room. The Chief remained where she was. When they were alone, Lisa took a seat a few spaces down. "Meryl? You okay?" she asked.

Chief Gunn nodded, slowly, without enthusiasm.

"Sure?"

"Yeah. I will be."

"I'm as shocked as you," Chang said. "But I'm sure it will all work out in the end."

The Chief laughed. It wasn't a humorous one. "Really? You sound confident about that."

"Well, I guess I have to be."

"They're taking her away from us. Grounding us. Stitching us up."

"Not really, Chief. I mean, look at the state of her. The
Defiant
is in need of a lot of work. And I don't think they want to invest that much time and energy on an old ship."

Gunn scowled. "Old ship? This is our home, Commander.
My
home. This ship is all I have to remember him by!"

Chang's throat felt too tight, too dry. She felt her eyes watering. "Oh Chief . . ."

Gunn started to sob, face in her hands.

It was all she could do to put an arm around Gunn's shoulders.