Far From Home (5 page)

“I can’t believe he did that.  What did he say to you?”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said, snuggling deeper into his embrace.  It didn’t matter either.  The last time I’d let Alex’s words get to me, I’d almost given everything up that mattered to me.  I wasn’t going to let that happen again. “All that matters is that you’re here, once again, saving my butt.”

I started laughing, but he pulled away, looking down at me with a serious expression.

“I’m always here for you.” He leaned down and kissed me softly, with a tenderness, so unlike the primal, rawness I had just experienced with Alex.  It was the greatest feeling in the world. 

Chapter Four

The moment we pulled up to Jesse’s house, I instantly felt better.  Jesse was my safe place and so was his house.  His dad left us alone and we could just be ourselves.  After what happened with Alex, I just wanted to get away from the party.  I didn’t want him ruining anything else for me.  The others had stayed though and to be honest, I was glad they had.  I wanted some time with just Jesse and me. 

“Where’s your dad?” I asked when we got out of the Jeep, having noticed the dark house. 

“Poker at Uncle Glenn’s house.” 

“I’m glad it’s just us here.”

“Me too,” he said, taking my hand and leading me inside. 

We went into the living room and I sat down on the couch, expecting Jesse to do the same, but he didn’t.

“I’ll be right back,” he said and disappeared into the kitchen.  I heard him fumbling around in the cabinets and a few minutes later, he reappeared holding two plates. 

“So,” he said, grinning proudly. “I know how much you love cheesecake, so I attempted to make you one.  It’s your mom’s recipe.”

“Are you serious?” I asked and I could feel my grin spread from ear to ear. 

“I was planning on giving it to you tomorrow, but since tonight turned out to be a bust, I figured now was the perfect time.  I’m not making any promises though,” he said, sitting down and handing me a plate. “But, I did my best, so try not to be too harsh when you taste it.”

“I’m sure it’s great and even if it’s not, I’m still super impressed you made me a cheesecake. I’ve never even made a cheesecake,” I said as I scooped up a piece and placed it in my mouth, expecting to be greeted with the same sweet deliciousness that I’d always experienced whenever my mom made it.  I wasn’t.  I tried smiling through the strange taste.  It was as if he’d forgotten the sugar.

“You hate it,” he said and I could see the disappointment in his eyes.

“No, it’s great!” I said, swallowing hard as the cheesecake slid down my throat.

Jesse looked doubtful as he took a bite himself.  His face curled up and he chewed slowly, eventually swallowing. 

“Wow,” he said, setting the plate down. “That.  Is.  Awful.”

I looked sheepishly over to him, not wanting to offend him after he’d worked so hard.

“It’s not that bad,” I said, scooping another piece onto my fork.

“Don’t you dare take another bite of that.”  He took my plate before I could argue and set it beside his. “Well, that didn’t go as I’d planned.”

“At least you tried.  That was incredibly sweet of you,” I said, but Jesse shook his head and stood up.

“Okay…onto my backup plan then.  Since that was such a failure, I’ve got something that you’re sure to love.  Be right back.”

He stood up, walking into his room before returning a moment later.  He held out a wrapped rectangular box and I looked at it curiously before taking it from him.

“Go on and open it,” he encouraged.

I unwrapped the box and then smiled once I realized what it was. 

“Where did you get this?” I asked, staring down at the box of salt water taffy from my favorite roadside stand in Cape Cod…the same kind I’d given Jesse for his birthday when we first met. 

“I called Natasha and asked her if she could get it for me and she did.  I figured since you couldn’t be in Boston for graduation, I could bring a taste of it back to you.”

I just shook my head, trying to understand how Jesse always did what he did.  He always knew what to do to make me happy. 

“I don’t even know what to say.  I haven’t had any of this since I gave you that box when I first got here,” I said, taking out a piece. “I forgot how amazing this stuff is.” I paused for a few moments to chew, but once I’d swallowed the taffy, I looked back over to him.  All I could do was smile. I put the box of candy beside me and leaned over, wrapping my arms around him. We held each other for a moment and then I pulled away, looking at him playfully.

“What’s that look for?” he asked.

“I’ve got a question for you,” I said and he raised his eyebrow in curiosity. “Can I drive the mule?”

“You want to drive the mule?”

“Yes, I do.  I never have and I’d like to try.”

“Alright, let’s go.”  He stood up and held his hand out to me, pulling me up from the couch.

“What?  You’re not going to argue with me?  You’re not going to try and talk me out of it?”

“No.  This should be fun.  I’ve seen how you drive your Jetta, so experiencing how you handle the mule should make for some great entertainment.”

I just ignored his snarky remark and followed him outside, excitement washing over me as we approached the mule. I got in the driver’s seat and Jesse handed me the keys.  I turned the ignition, put it in gear and pushed the gas pedal too hard.  I immediately slammed on the break and we both lurched forward.

“I knew this would be fun,” he laughed.

“I’ll get the hang of it,” I said, pushing the pedal again.  It felt different than a car.  The pedal seemed to stick and the steering wheel was tight, but I turned onto the road, not sure I was ready to tackle the trails.

“You’re doing a pretty good job, Boston,” Jesse said and I smiled, hearing his pet name for me.  When I first moved to Carver, I used to give Jesse a hard time for calling me Boston.  In fact, I’d hated it, but now I loved it, even though he rarely called me that anymore.

“This is fun,” I said as the warm summer air whipped around us.  “I can’t believe I always let you drive.”

“We’ve had some good times in this thing.”

“We have,” I said, nostalgia causing a small lump to form in my throat as I thought back on all the memories. 

“Maybe we should take it with us to K-State.  I could drive you to your classes in it.”

I started laughing and floored the pedal even harder.   It was quiet except for the engine and the wind blowing past us as we continued down the road.  Soon, I spotted Mrs. Kramer’s old house.  The full moon overhead illuminated it in a way that made it look not as creepy as it had before.  It actually looked kind of peaceful sitting in front of the pond, the water shining in silvery ripples.  I eased the mule to a stop along the shore and turned off the ignition.

“I thought this place gave you the creeps,” he said.

“I guess I changed my mind.  We kinda had fun here last time,” I grinned, thinking back to our semi-skinny dipping session.

“Yeah, that was fun,” Jesse said and I knew he was thinking of it as well.

I got out and started walking towards the pond.  Jesse fell behind and I turned to see what he was doing.  He was smiling at me in a way that made me blush. 

“Are you going to join me?” I asked and he just smiled wider.

“I’m enjoying the view from back here.”

I blushed and rolled my eyes, but giggled to myself and kept walking. I got to the dock and stopped at the edge, staring down at my shiny reflection in the water.  A moment later, I saw Jesse’s face in the pond as well and his hands slid around my waist, holding me close to him.  I rested my hands over his and we rocked gently for a moment. 

“Thank you for tonight,” I said softly, and his hand brushed my thick hair away before I felt the warmth of his lips on my neck. “Thank you for everything.” He moved my hair again and kissed the other side.

“You don’t need to thank me,” he said softly, taking my hand and gently urging me to sit down so our feet were dangling off the dock, just inches above the water.  We stared off into the blackness of the pond, the only sound being the orchestra of crickets around us. 

“About tonight,” Jesse began, pulling my hand into his lap. “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine.  Alex was just drunk and stupid,” I said, trying to shrug it off. 

“I hated seeing his hands on you.”

“Believe me, I wasn’t enjoying it either,” I said, trying to laugh, but it quickly faded as I realized it wasn’t funny and I shouldn’t be making light of how he’d treated me.  It grew quiet again and our feet began to sway above the water. “I wish I’d never met him,” I said quietly. “I wish I’d listened to you guys.”

“You can’t change the past, Riley, so there’s no point in dwelling on it.”

I sighed deeply, knowing he was right.  I wished he wasn’t though.  I wished I could change it all.

“I…I um…” I stuttered, not knowing what I was trying to say.

“What is it?” he prodded gently, turning to face me.  I knew I should be open with him.  No matter what I told Jesse, he always seemed to understand.

“I hate that he’s the one I have that memory with.” My voice was low and I felt Jesse’s grip on my hand tighten and he pulled me closer. “I hate that he’s the only one I’ve shared that with,” I continued and then took a deep breath before going on, my voice trembling and hesitant. “I want to share that with you, Jesse.”

I felt his body stiffen momentarily before he relaxed.  His hand cupped the back of my neck and his eyes darted quickly over my face before pulling me to him and kissing me tenderly. 

“I don’t want to hurt you, Riley,” he said nervously.

“I understand…I mean…if you don’t want to…” I stammered until he cut me off.

“You’ve got it all wrong,” he interrupted quickly. “It’s not that I don’t want to.  I want to. 
Believe
me,” he said with quiet emphasis. “I want to… I just want to make sure you’re ready.”

“I don’t want my only memory of that being with him.  I want to erase him.  I want to replace that memory with you because you’re the one I love and it should’ve been you in the first place,” I said quietly, looking away.  I felt Jesse’s hand under my chin, turning me back to him.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” His gray eyes stared into mine and I nodded. “This is what you want?” he asked and again, I nodded. 

“Are you ready?” I asked him in return, my chest pounding as I waited for his response.

His eyes continued to search my face before finally settling on my lips.  He moved in slowly and the brush of his lips over mine revealed his answer.

“Gimme a sec,” he whispered as he stood up and I watched as he walked down the dock and over to the mule.  He started fiddling in the back of it for a moment and then he disappeared into the shadows of the trees before reappearing.  He walked silently down the dock towards me, the patter of his Converse hitting the wooden planks the only sound.  Stopping next to me, he held out his hand and I took it.  He pulled me up and I followed him wordlessly back to the shore of the isolated pond.  We walked past the mule and into the grove of trees he’d vanished into a minute before.  I saw a blanket spread out on the soft grass and he led me over to it.  My heart was pounding furiously in my chest as I realized what we were about to do.  With Alex, it had been spontaneous.  He had pressured me and I knew now I hadn’t actually wanted to go through with it.  With Jesse, it was different though.  It was different because it
was
Jesse.

“I love you, Riley,” he said as we stood beneath the trees and moonlit sky, the warm air engulfing us. “Love isn’t even the right word to use because it doesn’t fit how I feel about you.  It’s so much more than that.”

I smiled up at him, knowing exactly how he felt.  I’d thought about it so many times and there was no word to encompass my true feelings for Jesse after everything he’d done for me.  No matter how hard I tried, I would never deserve him. 

He moved closer to me, closing the final step that was separating us.  His lips found my neck again, moist and soft against my skin.  His hand slowly reached under my shirt and rested on my bare skin.  I could sense my stomach muscles spasming at his sensitive touch.  I heard a soft moan escape my lips as he moved from my neck to my earlobe, his breath whipping in my ear.  Our eyes locked and we seemed to be speaking to each other, even though no words were being said.  I leaned towards him, kissing him softly at first as his hands moved from my stomach to my back, gently stroking my skin so it exploded with goosebumps.  I felt him lowering me onto the blanket and then the weight of his body was on my chest as our lips began to struggle more frantically against each other. 

Cautiously, my hands found the hem of Jesse’s shirt and I urged him to take it off.  Once it was laying beside us, I looked up.  The moonlight was casting perfect shadows against the tan skin of his bare chest, but I didn’t get to stare for long because a second later, he was kissing me again, easing my shirt up my stomach and over my head.  Our lips collided again as our hands began to move anxiously over each other’s bodies.  My impatient fingers found their way to his belt and I struggled with it, not able to unclasp it fast enough.  I could feel Jesse chuckle in amusement at my tussle.  In response, I smiled wickedly and bit his bottom lip.  I knew it hurt him, but it seemed to excite him more.

Our hands continued to paw at each other and our kisses became more urgent each time our lips met and then Jesse stopped suddenly, staring down at me with worried, gray eyes.  My heart started to pound even harder from the way he was looking at me.  It was as if he was trying to read right into my soul. 

“Are you sure you want this, Riley?” he said gently and I nodded, smiling certainly at him.  “You know I love you, right?”

“I love you too.  So much,” I whispered breathlessly back to him.  I pulled him back down onto me and a moment later as I clung desperately to him, it all seemed to fall into place, the trauma of the past washing away and everything seemed okay again. 

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