Far From Home (47 page)

At one o’clock Lorenzo’s mother from the store next door brought in a dish of pasta and a plate of thinly sliced meat, and urged Georgiana in a strong Italian accent to make Meester Eddie eat.

‘Everyone is so good to me,’ he said, forking the pasta into his mouth. ‘And I don’t deserve it.’

‘Where is Jewel’s mother?’ Georgiana was unable to contain her curiosity any longer.

‘Dead.’ He wiped his mouth on a large white serviette. ‘She left one day and didn’t come back. I didn’t know that she was expecting a child. I would have looked after her,’ he said pensively. ‘I was very fond of Tsui. But for whatever reason she chose to leave. A Chinese woman brought the child to me twelve months later. She told me that it had been a difficult birth and Tsui had died two weeks after Jewel was born. This woman, I never knew her name, had looked after the baby until she was weaned, but now her husband had said that they must sell her.’

He saw her shocked expression and nodded. ‘It does still happen sometimes with a girl child. They become slaves or prostitutes when they’re old enough. Tsui had told the woman that I was the father, and she wouldn’t have lied. The woman said that I must take the child if I wanted her to live.’ He shrugged. ‘What could I do? I got a woman in to help me, and Dolly, though she’s not what you’d call the motherly type, did what she could.’

He smiled contentedly. ‘She’s a happy child and I’ve never once wished that she wasn’t here. I love her more than anyone else in the world, and she’s changed my life.’

‘Her name?’ Georgiana asked. ‘It is most unusual. Why Jewel?’

He put his head back against the pillows and closed his eyes for a moment, then he opened them and looked at her. ‘I loved someone else once. Still do, I suppose. But she didn’t love me. Not enough anyway.’

‘Your mistress. The young mill girl?’

‘Yes.’ He nodded. ‘Ruby. I was completely and utterly obsessed by her and maybe I stifled her, I don’t know. But there was never another woman, not May, not Sofia, not Tsui, who could ever make me forget her.’ He sighed. ‘I called Jewel after her. Ruby was like a precious gem, vibrant, sparkling – but Jewel loves me,’ he said, almost fiercely and possessively. ‘She belongs to me as no-one else ever did or can. I am her father and – and I hope that she remembers how much I loved her.’

‘What is it that’s wrong with you, Edward?’ Georgiana asked quietly. ‘What ails you?’

‘Nothing now.’ He reached for the glass with a trembling hand. ‘Nothing at all.’ He drank and swallowed as if it hurt. ‘I am over my illness; now I am only waiting. I’ve had all the medicines that the doctors can give me, English, Indian, Chinese. I’ve had herbs from the forests, opium, everything.’

She sat silently, knowing that there was something more he had to say.

‘Another month, Georgiana, and you would have been too late.’ He gazed at her from sunken eyes. ‘As it is, you have come in time. Someone has answered my prayers by sending you here just when you were needed. I feel – reprieved, as if I have been forgiven for my wrongdoings after all.’

‘I don’t understand,’ she said. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I’m dying, Georgiana, you can surely see that?’ There was a plea hidden behind his husky voice. ‘I’m not afraid, though I feel it’s unfair. But I badly need your help.’

‘I’m so very sorry.’ Her voice broke. He was right, it didn’t seem fair. ‘But how can I help you? You said you had seen doctors?’

‘I don’t mean help me with my malady,’ he said patiently. ‘There’s no cure for that. No, I’m on my way to eternity for sure. But I’ve been fighting it, Georgiana. Fighting so hard because I wasn’t ready to go, not until I had resolved my dilemma.’

‘Which is?’ she asked softly.

‘It’s as if—’ He didn’t answer her directly, but seemed to be searching and deliberating in the furthest reaches of his mind. ‘As if,’ he continued, ‘I’ve been waiting for something to happen. Or waiting for someone.’ He lifted his eyes to hers and gave a weak grin. ‘And then you walked through the door! Thousands of miles have divided us and I haven’t thought about you in years, yet you came just when I needed you most.’

‘I don’t understand you, Edward,’ she said. ‘What is it you want of me?’

He sat forward in bed. His face was flushed, his eyes bright. ‘Jewel!’ he said. ‘I want you to take Jewel!’

‘Take Jewel? Take her where?’ She was astonished and not a little alarmed, for she feared he was feverish.

‘Back with you,’ he whispered. ‘Don’t you see? It’s as if it was ordained! She can’t go to Larkin, he’s a single man and doesn’t know about children – I know, I was too, but she is my child. Jed is married with a wife who is expecting a baby, and Dolly, darling Dolly, she’d teach her all the wrong things.’

She stared at him, her lips apart. ‘But – I can’t,’ she breathed. ‘She doesn’t know me. I don’t know her. Besides,’ her voice became stilted and she stammered in her confusion, ‘wh-what about my life? I came to this country to be independent, to do what
I
wanted. And then – then there’s Lake.’

She told him about Lake, who he was and what he did.

‘All the more reason,’ he softly persuaded. ‘When your mountain man is away, she would be a great comfort to you.’

‘You don’t know what you are asking of me, Edward.’ An uncalled-for tear trickled down her cheek. My dreams are vanishing, she reflected miserably, as they seem to do. I don’t want to be responsible for anyone else.

‘I do know,’ he answered. ‘I really do. But you know, better than most, what it is like to lose your parents. Can you imagine how Jewel will feel when I am dead? She has never known her mother – and with her father gone—’ He swallowed hard and blinked away his own tears. ‘My friends would do their best for her, but she would be alone.’ He wiped his eyes with pale thin fingers. ‘And God alone knows what will happen to her when she’s older. She’ll be so vulnerable.’

He covered his face with his hands. ‘And I won’t be here to protect her,’ he wept.

‘Please, Edward. Don’t upset yourself.’ She could no longer control her own tears and she reached out to him.

He squeezed her hand, took a great breath and leaned forward. ‘I’ve been a terrible person, Georgiana,’ he snuffled, and rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. She silently handed him her own wet handkerchief. ‘But I can’t bear to think that Jewel will suffer because of what I have done. The sins of the father and all that.

‘I’m sorry.’ He blew his nose on the dainty scrap of linen. ‘Of course I shouldn’t have asked you. You’re quite right. You have your own life to lead. You were fettered for so long by your relatives. You must have been pleased to have your freedom.’

‘It wasn’t all bad,’ she murmured. ‘I was treated well enough.’ She thought of May’s parents who had provided for her, and of her Aunt Clarissa with whom she had lived. A single woman who had been kind to the orphaned child and did her best for her. But Aunt Clarissa had lived a quiet sheltered life and didn’t know anything about the outside world. Not as I do, she pondered. I could teach a child so much more, especially a girl. A small girl like Jewel would grow up with different expectations. She could have hopes and dreams that could be realized.

She took a shuddering breath. ‘I’ll think about it, Edward,’ she said at length. ‘I promise. I will think about it.’

She visited every day for nearly a month, talking to Edward about the past, for he could no longer talk about the future. When he wasn’t too tired, he told her of the journey from the Mississippi swamps, of being buried in the snow, and of the long journey across the plains, fording rivers and creeks and crossing mountains.

‘I came across a trapper in the mountains once,’ she said to him. ‘He told me he had met an Englishman travelling to California. He said this la-di-da Englishman was with some swampsuckers who were stuck in the snow!’ She laughed. ‘I could never have dreamed that it might have been you!’

She told him of her journey to Dreumel’s Creek with Kitty, and of Wilhelm, whom she described as a very dear friend. He nodded thoughtfully when she said that Wilhelm still grieved for his dead wife, and told him of the mining shaft which had produced gold.

‘So you’re a rich woman, Georgiana,’ he said one day. He was in bed, too weak to get up.

‘Yes, I suppose so. A woman of independent means, at any rate!’

‘Jewel will be well provided for,’ he said. ‘I’m giving Dolly the saloon. She’s worked hard on my account. The least I can do is give it to her. But I’ve made plenty of money and I too have some gold.’ He reached into the drawer at the side of the bed and brought out a small leather bag. He threw it across the bed towards her.

‘Gold dust,’ he said. ‘It’s for May, in return for her dowry.’

‘For May? How do you propose to get it to her?’

He gave her a droll glance and shook his head.

‘You’re not expecting me to take it?’ She asked the question in a teasing voice.

He raised his eyebrows. ‘Only if you decide to take Jewel to meet her English relations. Her grandmother – her uncle.’

She gave an exasperated exclamation. ‘I haven’t yet said I will take Jewel into my care!’ She had played with her, read to her, taken her shopping. Walked hand in hand with her around the streets of San Francisco and eaten pasta with her and Lorenzo.

‘But you will, Georgiana, won’t you?’ His voice was pleading. ‘There isn’t much time left,’ he whispered.

She pressed her lips together. She had grown fond of the child. She was sweet-natured and merry, ready to do anyone’s bidding, eager and intelligent. She could, she knew, grow to love her as her own.

She put her hands into his. His were cold, his fingertips blue. ‘Will you do this for me, Georgiana?’ His voice was so low that she had to bend her head to hear him. ‘In the name of our new friendship and the bond, tenuous though it was, that we once had. Will you take my child and love her? Will you do this for me?’

‘Yes,’ she vowed, her mouth trembling. ‘I will.’

The following week flew past as arrangements were made. Georgiana booked a passage on a clipper ship sailing to New York around Cape Horn. During that long three-month voyage she knew that there would be plenty of time for her and Jewel to get properly acquainted. But they hadn’t yet told the child that she was leaving.

‘
You
must tell her, Edward,’ Georgiana said. ‘You must tell her yourself, for she will always remember, young as she is, your final words of farewell.’

He wept. ‘I can’t. How can I look at her and know that I will never see her again? It’s breaking my heart, Georgiana!’

‘You must be strong for her sake,’ she said gently. ‘Be brave. That is how she will remember you.’ And then she wept with him.

‘Jewel, my darling,’ he said to her. ‘Papa has to go on a long journey.’

‘Can I take my new coat and bonnet?’ she asked, for she and Georgiana had been shopping for clothes.

‘I’m afraid you can’t come with me.’ He shook his head. ‘This is a journey only for grown-up people. But Aunt Georgiana has said that you could go on a journey with her! On a ship! To see where she lives and stay with her for a while.’

‘Will you bring me back, Aunt Gianna?’ Jewel piped up at her. ‘Or will you come for me, Papa?’

‘I will be away a very long time, Jewel,’ he said huskily. ‘Aunt Gianna has said she will look after you until you are old enough to travel alone.’

‘I’m nearly big enough now,’ said the tiny girl, and Edward blinked away his tears at the realization that he would never see her grow into a young woman. He leant towards her and Georgiana bent to pick her up and place her on the bed beside him.

‘I will always love you, my darling,’ he whispered. ‘Even when I’m far away. Will you remember that?’

She nodded and as if she realized that there was something momentous happening that she didn’t understand, she put her arms around his neck and hugged him.

On the day of departure, Edward managed to get out of bed and go to the door. Larkin and Jed stood at each side of him propping him up. Dolly, sniffling and crying, came to say goodbye to the little girl.

‘We’ll write,’ Georgiana promised them. ‘We will, won’t we, Jewel? You can learn your letters and write a letter to everyone.’

‘And one to Papa,’ she said. ‘A special one for Papa.’

Edward kissed her on her cheek and hugged her, then kissed Georgiana on both hands, pressing them to his lips. ‘I can’t tell you what this means to me,’ he whispered. ‘You will reap your reward one day, Georgiana.’

As they crossed the yard and turned for one final wave before they climbed into the waggonette, he called weakly. ‘When you write to May, tell her – tell her I’m sorry, and wish her well in her new life. I trust that she gets a better second husband than her first!’

Georgiana gave a trembling smile. ‘I will tell her that she didn’t really know him, that none of us did.’

‘And my brother – and my mother,’ he called breathlessly and urgently, as if he had to pack a lifetime of words and sentiments into the last few precious minutes. ‘Tell them—’

‘I will tell them, Edward.’ She came halfway back across the yard. ‘I will tell them everything they need to know and nothing that they don’t. I’ll tell them that you made a good life and found happiness here with your friends and your daughter.’

He nodded, hardly able to speak. ‘Yes,’ he whispered. ‘You will know what to say.’

By the time the ship anchored in New York, Georgiana had been away almost a year and had travelled twelve thousand miles. The whole of America from east to west was opening up with the advent of new railroads and canal systems, but the territory was so vast and funds so limited that debates and discussions delayed the start of projects, and companies and private investors fell into bankruptcy before new rail tracks could be laid or water routes diverted. Coaches, waggon or mule trains plied across the old dusty and rutted trails, and overland routes were still the favoured form of travel, difficult though it was.

She had written to Wilhelm explaining the situation and saying that they were returning on the clipper ship
Hope
. She was not sure, though, whether the overland mail would have arrived in time for him to meet her. He wasn’t at the wharfside, so she took a horse cab to the Marius, where she and Jewel would rest for a few days and she would show her the city of New York.