Far Country (30 page)

           
He cleared his throat and looked at the preacher.  “You said you knew we
weren’t really into the church thing. You weren’t the only preacher who dropped
by, which I guess they were trying to be helpful, but we weren’t interested in
being preached at. I told David to send them away if he wanted to.”

           
Pastor Graham nodded. “And he did. It didn’t take me too long to conclude you
had no interest in talking with me, so eventually I focused my time on Steve,
who was recovering at home and dealing with a lot of guilt and frustration. We
had several counseling sessions over the course of that summer, so I can attest
to some things he has told you.  One of which is, that he did try to call
your house on at least two occasions that I was present for.  I also came
by the house on his behalf one day, but I suppose that David saw me as only as
another preacher. He sent me away and ignored my request to allow Steve to go
to see Sarah in the hospital.”

           
Richard and Lee Ann looked astonishment at Steve. “I can’t believe that David
wouldn’t take your calls,” Lee Ann insisted fervently. “And we were angry with
you for
not
coming to see Sarah! David knew that!”

           
Steve shrugged.  “I can’t swear that it was David every time I called.
Sometimes someone would pick up but they didn’t say anything. Once or twice, I
am sure that David was the one who picked up and said hello, but in both cases,
as soon as I spoke, the line went dead. As for visiting, I was in a wheel chair
for weeks, and couldn’t exactly sneak into her room. I can attest that the
nurses took your ‘family members only’ visitation very seriously.”

           
Lee Ann looked at Richard Bolton blankly.  “I know I was pretty much out
of it at first, but I don’t recall a restriction on visitors…?”

           
Richard looked just as uncertain. He shook his head, trying to think back. “I
don’t remember that it was ever even discussed, really.”

           
Laura Williams spoke up at this point.  “Ben called your house, too,
Richard. Much the same thing happened to him.  He was so angry that he
told Steve not to bother trying to get up with you
any more
.
Ben said that you knew how much Steve loved all of you, but if blaming Steve
and being angry made Sarah’s situation easier, it was your prerogative, and
nothing we did was going to change your minds.”

           
Richard looked outraged. “How could he think we would do that? Of course we
were hurt, and devastated and angry too, but there were things that needed to
be said! On both sides! As soon as Lee Ann got strong enough to face the situation,
I had David call you. He told us that you wouldn’t take
his
calls!”

           
Laura Williams looked at Lee Ann and Richard with clear eyes.  “I promise
you that we never received any phone calls. It was as if there was this wall
around your house, and we were locked out.  That was why we’d asked Pastor
Graham to intercede and go to speak with you for us.”

           
“And we know how that turned out,” Pastor Graham broke in with a sigh.

           
“I think that was our last attempt to talk with you,” Laura said, pensively.
“Ben said to wait and see. That maybe you’d reach out once you were over the
initial shock and hurt. So we waited. I guess our feelings were hurt, too. Our
families had been close all those years. After awhile, though, we just got used
to the silence.”

           
Steve spoke up. “I did come by the house the day before I left for college.
David opened the door, but once he saw me, he closed it again. He never talked
to me after the accident. In fact, he never said another word to me until he
told me last summer that Sarah was dead.”

           
Again Lee Ann looked bewildered.  “Why would he drive all the way to
Hanging Rock to tell you that?” She wondered aloud.

           
Steve glanced at Pastor Graham.  “He didn’t know I was there. He came to
see Deborah while he was home on emergency leave for the funeral. When he saw
me he was – well, the scene got pretty ugly.” Steve finished lamely.

           
Richard frowned.  “How do you mean ‘ugly’?”

           
“David called me a murderer,” Steve said quietly. “He said I murdered Sarah.”

           
They sat in stunned silence for awhile as the Bolton’s thought about Steve’s
words.

           
Again, Lee Ann sighed. “I just don’t understand how David would say those
things, Steven.  He loved you like a brother. He was happy that you and
Sarah were together,” she trailed off helplessly.

           
Steve could not keep the bitter tone out of his voice. “Maybe at one time he
felt that way, but after the accident, everything changed. I have witnesses to
the things he said to me at Hanging Rock. I have every reason to believe that
right now, David still hates me and would be quite happy to see me dead.” Steve
took a deep breath and forcefully suppressed the image of David’s silhouette
looming at the top of Knife Edge, moments before he cut the rope.  “The
day he told me about Sarah, it took two grown men to keep him from attacking me
in a parking lot.”

           
Pastor Graham took a sip of his tea, and carefully set down the glass.  “I
can’t begin to guess the reasons, but from what all of you have said, it seems
that David was screening out all attempts for your two families to meet and
reconcile.”

           
“I think,” Steve said slowly, “I know the reason.” He shrugged slightly, his
voice full of sad regret. “I betrayed his trust,” he told them simply. “Sarah
was his twin, his other half. He gave her to me to take care of, and I failed
him. And he knew that keeping me from her, and from both of you, was the worst
punishment I could suffer.” Steve shook his head in wonder.  “He was
right, too. I was pretty messed up for a lot of years. I’m still trying to get
my head straight, even now.”

           
Steve looked around the table, and felt as if the time had come to fit the last
piece of the puzzle together.  “I think there was also one other reason
that David wanted to keep me away from Sarah those first months after the
accident.” He looked from Lee Ann to Richard, searching their faces. “Something
that he didn’t want me to find out about - that a bed sheet wouldn’t be able to
cover up for very long. On top of all the other bad news, it would have thrown
you all for a loop. Especially David.”

           
Lee Ann and Richard looked at each other uneasily for a long moment. Neither
one answered Steve.

           
“Gracie is not your niece’s daughter, is she?” Steve pressed them quietly.
Beside him, Laura Williams clutched her son’s arm warningly. She started to
speak, but Steve  silenced her with an impatient wave of his hand.

           
The silence stretched until Richard suddenly exploded, the bitterness that had
been pent up for so long pouring out in a flood of anger and sadness.  “In
one day, I watched my Sarah graduate from high school, beautiful and smart,
with so much to look forward to! Then at midnight I’m standing in the hospital.
All that was left of my daughter was this – this empty broken shell!” He put
his head in his hands and a heartbreakingly sad look of loss filled his eyes through
the tears when he finally raised his head. “She was so silent” he whispered.
“Sarah was never silent. I think I knew then that she was never coming back to
us….” He shook his head.  “The next morning, after the surgery, the doctor
told us that she was severely brain damaged, and most likely, she would never
come out of the coma. Oh, and one other thing, Mr. and Mrs. Bolton, were you
aware that the baby is due in January or February?”

           
Richard gave a mirthless bark of a laugh and glared at Steve.  “Damned
right we were angry with you! We thought you were avoiding us…and then, you
just took off for college and left us to deal with the mess you had made.” He
slumped back in the chair and glared reproachfully at Steve. 

           
“I never knew about the baby,” he told them simply. “Sarah and I had known each
other so long that we had decided to wait to until we were married, to make it
more special, but the night of the cast party for 'Oklahoma!' - we slipped up.
It was just the one time, and it never occurred to me that she might have been
pregnant. I don’t think she could have even known yet.”

           
He gave Richard a mutinous look. “As sorry as I am about how you found out
about her, please don’t ask me to be sorry that Gracie was born.”

           
Richard eyed Steve appraisingly, and then gave him a bittersweet smile of
understanding. “No,” he agreed at last, “I don’t suppose you can be. There’s a
lot of her mother in her.”

           
He sat back up to the table, staring at the melting ice in his iced tea glass.
“Tell the truth, once the shock wore off, neither were we, really. Gracie gave
us something to hold on to. Raising her has been almost like raising Sarah all
over again.”

           
Timidly Lee Ann reached for Richard’s hand again, and held it tightly in her
own. Her body seemed braced for a blow and her voice was brittle. “Now that you
know about her, Steven, what are you going to do?”

           
Steve blinked in confusion. “Do?”

           
“Will you try to take her away from us?” Steve heard the fear and also the
challenge.  Reverend Graham had been right.  They would not give up
their granddaughter without a fight. Everyone stared at Steve. The whole table
seemed to be holding its breath.

           
Steve cleared his throat.  “Of course, I could ask for a paternity test
and we could fight this out,” he began, “but that wouldn’t be good for Gracie.”

           
He smiled at them reassuringly.  “You are her family. You are the only
home that she knows. I couldn’t do that to you or to her.”

           
The Bolton’s seemed to collapse into their chairs in relief. Lee Ann smiled
weakly at him. “Thank you for that, Steven. Ever since I saw you at that
doctor’s appointment, I have been terrified of what you would do if you figured
out the truth.”

           
“It was my first reaction,” he admitted ruefully. “I thought that you were
deliberately keeping her from me.  But cooler heads prevailed in the end.”

           
Instinctively everyone looked at Reverend Graham who smiled deprecatingly. “I
only helped him think it through. It was his decision, really.”

           
Then Steve cleared his throat. “I don’t want to take her from you, but are you
willing to share her with me? Let her know that she has a daddy, and let me
spend time with her? And with my mom”, he added glancing sideways at his
stunned and silent mother.   “That’s her granddaughter, too, after
all.”

           
“Yes, Lee Ann, I would very much like to know my granddaughter,” Laura Williams
said softly in a shaken voice.

           
Lee Ann looked nervously at Richard.  “I think,” she began carefully, “it
would be good, Richard, considering what’s coming.”

           
Richard gave her a warning look, but Laura Williams did not let Lee Ann’s words
pass unnoticed.  “Lee Ann, what do you mean by ‘what’s coming’?”

           
Lee Ann sighed and rolled her eyes a little. “I can’t hide it for much longer,
anyway. I’ve got a tumor in my lungs. I’ve done chemo, and the radiation
treatments, but it’s not shrinking.”  She looked at Steve.  “The day
that Gracie stayed with you, we were at my last appointment with the
radiologist in New Bern.  She said a lot of things, but mostly she just
apologized that she hadn’t been able to help me.”

           
Laura reached across the table and took one of Lee Ann’s hands.  “Oh my, I
am so sorry, Lee Ann!  I had heard a rumor, but I didn’t want to believe
it.”  Steve sat in numb disbelief.  He couldn’t fathom losing Sarah’s
mother so soon after finally regaining her goodwill.

           
“How long?” Reverend Graham asked her gently.

           
Lee Ann shrugged.  “A couple more good months, hopefully. After that…?”
she shrugged again and her voice trailed off. “But let’s not dwell on it. It’s
already taking up too much of my life.”

           
“I’m sorry, Lee Ann, but I have to ask you,” Reverend Graham persisted. “Do you
believe in Jesus as your savoir?”

           
Lee Ann looked startled, and Laura Williams drew back, offended by the abrupt
question. “I hardly think you should be asking..” she began angrily.

           
Reverend Graham interrupted her. “No, it’s exactly what I must ask,” he told
her firmly, and turned back to Lee Ann. “Do you believe, Lee Ann?”

           
She stared at the pastor for a full minute.  “I really don’t know,” she
said at last.

           
“Would it offend you if Steve and I pray for you?” He asked her.

           
“What… right HERE?” She asked startled, her drawl suddenly thick as mud.

           
Reverend Graham smiled.  “And now,” he added.

           
She looked at Richard, who merely shrugged and rolled his eyes.  “It can’t
hurt, I suppose,” he muttered uncomfortably.

           
“What do I have to do?” She asked warily.