Fantasy of Flight (14 page)

Sadra’s hands shake so much I wonder why she’s helping me. A stuttered thanks for saving Malir’s life answers my question. I realize my delegate friends will be here. In all the excitement it slipped my mind. Fiona, Jacquiline, Roman and the others. Will they be able to tell it’s me? My short stature on Glacium is rare in itself. I’m lucky Crystal is also here and of a similar height. It may stop them from becoming suspicious.

The servants leave in the same order which they arrived.

I swing the door closed behind them, my mouth open once more. What is all this? I look at the steam rising above the screen. Jovan ordered them to bring all of this. A whole tub of water! I can’t remember the last time I soaked in a bath. Is everyone receiving this treatment?

I intend to stay in until the water goes cold, but the water won’t go cold with the fire underneath. How is the bottom of the bath not burning me anyway? Adnan has probably told me at some point. I tend to drift off when he gets carried away with the complexities of his inventions. I groan at the situation I’m in, having to live behind the backs of my friends. I really can’t blame Jovan though. I backed him into a corner. I’ll just have to make sure I don’t slip up and do something Olina would do. Jovan’s the only person on Glacium who knows my secret, and that’s how it’s going to stay.

After painstakingly cleaning my torn palms, skinned legs, rope burn and replacing Sadra’s bandages, I get out of the water. It’s tempting to sink back into the warm depths, but one look at the filthy water deters me. I step out and wrap myself in a fur, eyeing the clean garments draped atop the bed. They will be soft, well-made and clean. I long to wear them. They’ll also set me apart if the rest of the men and Crystal have not received such treatment.

With a sigh, I grab my harness costume and clean as much of the blood and grit off as possible in the bath water. This done, I put it back on and immediately braid my hair and begin to pull it into a bun at the base of my neck. My hands halt. Jacquiline has seen my hair in this style. I take it out of the bun and leave my blue-black hair in a long braid down the middle of my back, a normal enough sight in the Outer Rings.

A knock sounds. I swing the heavy door open.

“Come,” the Watchman grunts. My eyebrows rise.

“Or do you not want to eat?” he asks. My stomach demands I put away my pride and follow the man. I trail after him. Three other guards surround me. Are we going to eat with the assembly? I assumed we would be fed in isolation. Isn’t Jovan afraid we might attack? Wait. I forget I’m talking of Jovan. The King is that arrogant. And that right, too. The barracks will have no wish to throw away their second chance at life.

I’m in full-Frost mode as I stroll through the stone archway. But my heart is pounding. The initial wave of consuming grief after Flurry’s death has washed through me, leaving me devastated, but still able to focus on what is coming. How will Jovan react to my capture? I recall the intensity of his gaze earlier today. Furious is an understatement, I think, but I’ve known what would face me if I returned.

Despite the guards murmured instructions, I stop when I’m in the middle of the room. I survey the seated assembly, gaze unimpressed, avoiding the table of delegates. My traitorous eyes sneak a quick look anyway. My breath catches as I see they’re looking my way like everyone else. I
do
manage to avoid looking at Jovan and eventually spot Avalanche in the back corner of the hall, as far from the King as possible. Suits me. I wasn’t eager for our conversation.

“That’ll be all, boys,” I call over my shoulder to the Watchmen. I grin as they linger, unsure of what to do.

The eyes of some of the assembly men are drawn to me as I saunter down the aisle. Some are impressed, some dismiss me. But just like in the Cells, I act like their attention is beneath me, regardless of their attraction. It’s the only way I can deal with the discomfort I feel.

All the surviving barrack fighters are present, Crystal, too. I was right to stay in my fighting gear. None of the others have been given new garments. A sweeping glance eases my concerns the Watchmen may have been less than welcoming towards my friends. There are no visible injuries beyond those they acquired in the dome, and they’ve been allowed to wash. Avalanche’s shoulder wound is bound. The only thing out of character is the wariness and apprehension in their expressions. I move around and hug all of them. It causes the assembly to whisper. They were most likely starving for more gossip and wished us to fight amongst each other like savages. Wealthy people who surrounded royalty were the same wherever you went, whether it was Osolis or Glacium.

Shard holds me for longer. “You saved us in there. I was too shocked to say it earlier, but thank you.”

“Were you told anything? Where did they put you all?” I ask, pulling back.

“We’re in the barracks.” He smiles. “It’s like we never left.” I snort. He loses his smile.

“The main man. The commander who was in the dome. He told us we’d be briefed tomorrow.” I hear his questioning tone and give him a loaded look. There are too many listening ears. I know I’ll eventually have to give an explanation as to why Jovan spared them. I have no idea what I’ll say. What could possibly explain the relationship the King and I had displayed?

I hear a gigantic rumble from Avalanche’s complaining stomach and glance around the seated men. The assembly is eating. I know I’m not technically a prisoner, but I am unsure about the position of the barrack members. Are we guests of some description? I glance around. There are more Watchmen than usual in the food hall, but Jovan knows he holds our lives in his hands. We have all been shown to the food hall. I assume we’re here to eat, but no one has bothered to tell us. They’re probably taking pleasure in our discomfort.

“Come with me,” I say to Avalanche and start toward the food tables. I ignore the whistles of appreciation as I pass some of the assembly men. They’re like puppies trying to bark compared to the crass comments in the pits. Avalanche lumbers beside me. We stop in front of the mountain of food. I peek up under my eyelashes at the massive man next to me. His eyes are nearly popping out of his head. I laugh at him and he grins, pushing me gently with his uninjured arm.

I walk down the table and stop in my tracks when I realize where I’m going.

I can’t eat a pear.

They’re well-known to be Olina’s favorite food. What was I thinking? I look longingly at the basket of luscious fruit before turning to get some meat. Always meat. I long for vegetables and apples. I throw the food on my dish, taking delight in watching Avalanche.

Plate loaded, I head back to the table. Avalanche doesn’t look like he’ll be leaving his current station any time soon. I stop and blink at the chest in front of me. I peek up into Sin’s deep blue eyes.

I gather my thoughts and raise an eyebrow. “What?” I ask.

He circles me, tossing the locks of hair from his forehead. “Oh, nothing.” He sighs. I give him a strange look and move around him.

“Just remembering the little promise you made,” he calls when I’m several steps away.

I turn and search his face for the answer, genuinely confused. “What promise?”

He clutches his heart and makes a pained sound. “You don’t even remember our love pact?” I bite my cheek to contain my smile. Those closest to us are listening intently. He’s such an attention seeker. I’m quite certain I would remember a love pact. Sin is working the crowd as always. He grins as he saunters over.

“You promised me a kiss if we survived.” His voice is much louder than necessary.

Blood must drain from my face because the silken fighter’s grin grows ten-fold. “Sin, I didn’t actually think we’d survive. And I seem to recall promising we would
all
kiss you. Have the others made good on the bargain?” I ask. I keep my voice low, but the immediate assembly overhears and start sniggering.

“I will…collect those in due time. Are you going back on your word?” he booms dramatically. I roll my eyes and his eyes fill with glee.

He walks behind me and pushes the loose strands of hair away from my neck. He leans his mouth to my ear and whispers. “Should we give them a show, Princess?” His question is low and seductive. And completely wasted on me. I press my lips together to stop my laughter. He is unbelievable. He’s only doing this is to get the other female’s attention.

I turn to him and give him a look Willow would be proud of. I tuck away my smile when his eyes widen, noticeably startled to see me playing along. I put a finger to his mouth and trace his full upper lip and then rise up on my toes and press a whisper-soft, lingering kiss to his mouth. He groans as I move away and tries to pull me back, his eyes still closed. I grin and spin, sweeping his legs from underneath him. I hear the satisfying whoosh of breath as the air is forced from his lungs when he lands on his back.

Laughter rings through the hall. Avalanche joins me, finally done amassing food. Our group is still slapping the table when I reach them. Wrath gives me a stinging high-five.

I lean back against Blizzard’s shoulder. I’ve eaten too much. Easy to do with the wealth of food before us. Ice shares a heavy look with Blizzard and the despondent hollowness I’ve temporarily placed to one side rises up.

Ice stands. “Flurry was…a good man, all the way through. The most decent man I ever met.” He clears his throat. “He was born in the Outer Rings. Hard to be born there and turn out that way.” He draws a hand down over his face before continuing. “I was honored to know him, honored to battle by his side, and honored to be there at the end.” Crystal puts an arm around his collapsed shoulders as he sits. Flurry’s death was terrible for me, but the others have known him much longer. Blizzard is next to share a memory of Flurry. We all take a turn, tipping back brew after every memory. This brew, which I used to water down, is like honey now compared to what I’ve been drinking in the Outer Rings - It doesn’t mean it’s any less potent.

“I have a toast,” Crystal speaks, wobbling atop the bench. “To Frost. For saving our sorry arses.” She belches softly behind her hand.

“To Frost!” I cringe as they yell my fake name loudly and clink their glasses.

I hear someone mutter. “For now.” However the man’s quite justified concern over his future longevity is drowned out.

“Speech!” The chant goes up. Perhaps no one wants to think about what will happen tomorrow.

I clamber onto the bench seat, face warm. The assembly has been drinking - as is usual after dinner, but they stay far away from our table. The louder we get, the sharper their glares become. They don’t like that we’ve lost our meekness so quickly. Still, the men and women watch our tired group and listen, desperate at the same time for the promised show. No one has come to hasten us out of the hall with our growing noise, confirming my guess. Jovan has declared we are to stay on in a guest capacity…with guards.

“I don’t know what to say,” I say with a shrug. I start when I see Jovan glowering my way. I gulp and turn back to the fighters.

“I couldn’t have fought with better people today.” I make sure to tailor my words, mindful of our current company. “Every one of us contributed. If there had even been one weak link in the chain, that was us, gone.” I scan the men’s faces and suddenly grin.

“But did you see our moves?” I say to Tricks’ men. “There’s no doubt we would have kicked your ass in the group category. You never stood a chance.” Tricks’ men stand up, shouting their denials. Our barrack argues back. Crystal looks between the groups laughing. I’m so busy celebrating the chaos I’ve created that I don’t notice Fury and Vice until it’s too late. They grab my arms before I can react and I splutter and gasp as Wrath pours brew down my throat.

They sit me back on the table and I wipe the alcohol from my face and chest, still giggling. “You can give me that over the shit in the Outer Rings any day,” I say.

“What’s going to happen?” Shard asks quietly. I look around the drooping heads, my own head beginning to dip with weariness.  Each of us have battled for our lives and grieved the loss of a dear friend today. I know he is asking on behalf of the others. No doubt he wants to reassure them somehow.

I shake my head, resting a hand on his lean shoulders.

“I don’t know,” I admit. “Really, I don’t.”

Back in my chamber, I curse as I attempt to undo the side laces of my harness. There’s no reason I can’t wear the new garments to bed where no one will see. Soft material on my skin!  The locked side door I attempted to open earlier crashes open. I grip the loose ends of my outfit and whirl toward the disruption. A part of me already knows who it is. Only one person throws doors around like the doors purposely try to slow him down.

Jovan stalks into the room, slamming the door behind him. His face is tight with fury. The King of Glacium doesn’t bother with greetings.

“Do you have any idea, the shit you’ve caused?”

I jerk my head towards the front of my chamber. Surely the guards would hear his roar from outside.

“The walls are thick,” he says.

“They’d have to be really thick,” I mutter. I catch him looking at the unfettered laces down the side of my breasts. I turn from him and quickly do them up.

“I get a message halfway through the tour informing me the Tatuma has disappeared. Do you understand how much time I…how much time the Watch wasted looking for you? And now you turn up
without your veil
. Are you fucking insane?”

“Jovan, give me a minute to explain,” I say. I know he’s been looking for me. I saw him with Rhone in the Sixth Sector. Somehow I don’t think he’d be happy to hear this.

“You took your chance to run back to Osolis,” he continues, ignoring my request. “I gather what you encountered on your way was more than you planned for. You were trapped in the Outer Rings. And you can fight,” he accuses. “You hid your skill the whole time.”

“It wasn’t exactly in my best interest to tell everyone,” I say calmly.

“And I thought I had to look out for you because you’re so small. What a fool you must have thought me this whole time,” he says.

I frown. Out of everything I’ve done, this is what annoys him the most? “I don’t think you’re a fool. I’ve hidden my ability to fight my whole life. Only two people on Osolis know,” I say.

I see a tiny flicker of interest amongst the fury in his eyes. “And there never would be a third person if you’d been successful in getting to the Great Stairway.”

“Jovan, that’s not─”

“Don’t lie to me,” he booms.

I sigh and turn away; he’s still treating me like a child. He is right, in part. I didn’t expect the Outer Rings to be quite so…savage. But I never planned to go back to Osolis. I’m not that stupid. Even
if
I made it, mother would kill me. I go to the tub and push the screen back, picking up the washcloth. A servant has been in to empty the dirty water.

“What are you doing?” he demands. “We’re talking.”

I shrug without turning, continuing my tidying. “No,
you’re
talking. I don’t think I’ll waste my breath. It’s like talking to a wall.”

The hairs on the back of my neck prickle. I whirl around to find him right in front of me. He’s still bare-chested from the dome. My eyes move over the hard planes of his chest and down to his ridged stomach. I look back up to his face, confused, and see a tinge of smugness in his furious gaze.

“Olina, I have thought you dead for the last month or more. Did you die alone in a blizzard? Were you raped by criminals? Or murdered for the quality of your coat? Did you starve on the stairway?” He runs his hands through his hair. “A whole sector has passed. I’ve been half insane with the wondering,” he says in a soft voice. His dangerous voice. “Do you have any idea what you’ve put your friends through?”

I hang my head, unable to meet his gaze. Guilt floods through me with his words. His question unlocks feelings which I’ve forced into a box for the last six months. “Please believe me when I tell you how sorry I am. Hurting my friends was never my intent. There was a lead on Kedrick’s arrow. I expected to be back in a few days, but my veil was ruined and I couldn’t return.” Or didn’t want to return, I add silently.

“Hmm,” he replies doubtfully. My eyes fly back to his. Disappointment clouds his features as he looks down at me.

“You still left as our worlds were on the brink of war. I understand you wish to find my brother’s killer, as I do, but there is a time to pursue this. It shouldn’t have been your priority in that moment. What’s your justification for abandoning your people? I didn’t think you were a coward, or without honor.”

“Are we at war?” I quickly ask, searching his face. I let his other remarks go. They’re just bait.

“Do you even care what my answer is?”

I narrow my eyes. “Of course. They are my people.”

“You have a funny way of showing it,” he scoffs.

I sigh. “Don’t be petty. My decision wasn’t clear-cut. I
lost
my veil. How was I supposed to return?” I try to turn away to collect myself. He spins me back and grabs both my arms as he has done in the past. This calm façade he’s had since entering the room has finally cracked, his anger unleashed.

“Bullshit! You could have just come to me. You could’ve crept into the castle. Apparently you’re an expert at sneaking around. I could have found a damned veil for you.” I look pointedly at his hands and he lets go, clenching his fists by his sides.

He hasn’t finished. “And what was that idiocy you pulled in the dome? You backed me into a damn corner with your foolish act. There were at least two dozen times you could have died out there!” I watch him pace. “And you risked everyone finding out who you really are. Why did you not take my offer? Is it out of some kind of loyalty to the scum now sleeping in my castle?” he shouts.

I swallow. “They are my friends, Jovan, believe it or not. I had to try and save them. I apologize for the position I put you in. But I would do it again. And I
did
look for material.”

“You seem awfully chummy with the men downstairs. I’m sure you’ve been trying your hardest to get back.” His sarcastic reply. “And to think I was worried about someone hurting you.” Every line in his face is fury. I always knew it would be bad when I came back, but this was beyond my expectations. A bad scolding, ignoring me, pinning me to the wall, but not breaking past all my flimsy excuses.

“I don’t think anyone has connected Frost and Olina,” I say.

“Then you haven’t seen the looks Rhone is giving you. You better be damn careful no one figures out who you are.” That was news to me, but I shouldn’t have expected less of the astute delegate.

“No one has more personal interest in keeping
that
a secret,” I say. His eyes lock on mine and I refuse to flinch away from the chill there. “Do you want to know what delayed my return?”

“I think I’ve made it abundantly clear that I do,” he says.

I ignore his response. “Who will follow a blue-eyed Solati?” I try to say it matter-of-factly, but my voice wavers a little. His arms are crossed over his chest. He doesn’t reply. Because there’s nothing to say. He knows as well as I do.

“Furthermore, what damage could knowledge of a blue-eyed Tatuma do, in the wrong hands?” I look at him and see he understands. He’s probably already figured all this out. “Yes, the thought of remaining anonymous in the Outer Rings has an allure. It still does.” I sigh and move around the room briefly lost in my coveted thoughts. “No responsibilities, no past. And by staying there I might be doing my world a service. I might be saving my people from future harm, rather than the
immediate
harm of the war.”

I walk up to him. His eyes move down my body and return to mine. I give him the same smug look he gave me earlier and his eyes glint. “I always knew there was something wrong with my face. A deformity of some kind, or maybe I was just ugly, though nothing felt unusual to me.” I shrug. Jovan snorts.

“I can assure you that’s not the case.” My heart skips, but I pretend not to hear him.

“The moment I looked in a mirror, I knew.” I gaze at him but he doesn’t show surprise as he lowers himself to sit on the bed. He’s heard about the broken mirror at Fiona’s and he pieced the story together.

“I could take my veil off, and become an outcast. This would pitch Osolis into anarchy while the people dethroned my mother and found another leader - a person who had not disgraced herself by sleeping with a Bruma.” I glance at Jovan wondering why he hasn’t interrupted, but he’s just listening…calmly, even. I sit next to him and continue, watching him closely. “Or I could leave my veil on and remain the outcast I was before, just not as obviously. And one day I will rule - if I survive this long - and be forever afraid someone will reveal my own secret. Perhaps they will use the knowledge to blackmail me. Perhaps they will use it to blackmail my children after me. And what if my children have blue eyes? I could not veil them, as I have been.” I give him a fleeting look. “So yes, staying in the Outer Rings crossed my mind. A part of me desires that life, but it might also be the best alternative for my people.” I repeat and rest my head on the stone pillar beside me. I’m so tired.

“You are worried I might do this,” he says.

I close my eyes against his angry tone. “I’m still figuring that out.” Who knew a stone pillar could be so comfortable? I yawn.

“Did anyone mistreat you there?” he asks softly. I shake my head.

“Am I forgiven yet?” I ask into the silence which falls after his question.

“Forgiven, perhaps. Trusted - no.”

I pull my lips down in a weary pout, but really, I wouldn’t expect any different. “Fair enough,” I mumble.

“How long have you been fighting? You’ve destroyed my dome. We’ll have to reattach the beams, with chains this time. Every piece of scum will try to cut through the ropes after your stunt.”

“A long time.” I sigh, ignoring the second part of his comment.

I’m lifted up and deposited onto something soft.

“That arrow is going to be the death of you,” a deep voice whispers in my hair. “I wish you’d let him go.”