Fans of the Impossible Life (18 page)

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Sunday at four p.m. the diner was nearly empty. The late brunch crowd had finished up and it was still too early for even the most devoted early-bird special-ers. Rose had gotten Mira to join her at their regular table with the promise that she was going to “play it cool” with Ali from now on.

“I told her if she doesn't want me hanging out here, I won't hang out,” Rose told Mira. “I'm not a total pathetic loser. I have other places to be.”

“Liar,” Mira said.

“Okay, yes, fine. Shut up.”

They had only been there for half an hour when it became apparent that Rose was going to have trouble keeping her promise.

“She has been talking to them for, like, ten minutes,” Rose was saying, watching Ali chat with one of the only other occupied tables from across the room.

“It's actually her job to talk to other people here, you know that, right?” Mira said.

“She doesn't have to talk to them for ten minutes. It takes, like, thirty seconds to take someone's order.”

HELP save me from obsessive lesbian!!!
Mira texted to Jeremy and Sebby as soon as she realized that she had been trapped.

“Hey, I've got a weird idea,” Mira said. “What if you let Ali do her job and we actually get some homework done?” Their math books were lying uselessly open in front of them on the table.

“I can't think when she's over there being all cute,” Rose said.

“Do I need to put blinders on you?”

“Probably.”

Mira shut her textbook in defeat and went through her bag, looking to see if there was something more likely to actually get done on this afternoon. She pulled out her English notebook, opened it to a half-finished outline for yet another essay for Peter.

“I feel like Peter's trying to kill us with these papers,” she said.

“I know, right?” Rose was in Peter's other American Lit class. “As if I'm going to come up with something new and super insightful to say about
Their Eyes Were Watching God
that no one's ever thought of before.”

“Well, at least you don't have Talia in your class. She
basically outlines any possible paper topics just by talking, and then we're expected to come up with something she hasn't said. I think she does it on purpose.”

“Oh man, Talia in Peter's class. That must be something.”

“What is her story with Peter, anyway?”

They were interrupted by Ali coming over to refill their coffee cups. Rose stared at her, looking moony eyed.

“What is wrong with you?” Ali said.

“Nothing,” Rose said.

Ali walked away and Rose mouthed the words “marry me” to her back. Mira threw a fry at her.

“Hey! Focus.”

“What?”

“Talia and Peter. Explain.”

“Oh, I don't know. She's just in love with him, I guess.” She took a sip of coffee. “Talia's always been a little . . .”

“Evil?”

“No, you know, awkward. It's like there's too much going on in her brain for her to slow down and talk to us lowly normal humans. It's not worth her time. Except for Peter. I guess he's worth her time.”

“Ew, can you imagine?”

“Talia's big problem is that she actually looks like she's about twelve, so he would really have to be a pedophile to go for that.”

“So gross. And that night that she was over at his house . . .”

“You think Peter and Talia did it?” Rose laughed her signature cackle.

“No,” Mira shook her head. “No way, right?”

“No, come on. I mean, we've been to Peter's house.”

“Yeah, but it was a bunch of us.”

“Listen, as fun as it is to imagine that Talia and Peter are destined to be together, I think she's just a weird girl who needs something to obsess over, and Peter's it.”

“Yeah, you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?” Mira said.

Rose was already ignoring her and back to trying to get Ali's attention.

“I can see her in the kitchen,” Rose said. “She's not even doing anything.”

The bell on the front door jingled and Sebby came in, followed by Nick, wearing his sunglasses and trademark disinterested expression.

“Ugh.” Rose said. “Why, lord, why does this afternoon need to have Nick in it?”

They slid into the booth next to Mira and Rose.

“Hey girls, what's going on?” Sebby asked, helping himself to Mira's coffee.

“Rose is stalking Ali and for some reason I have to watch,” Mira said.

“I heard you like to watch,” Rose said.

Mira threw another fry at her.

“Just go over there and rip her clothes off,” Nick said. “Women love that.”

Rose looked at Nick with disgust. “Has anyone ever told
you that your aggressive hetero man voice is really grating?”

“It's the voice God gave me. Nothing I can do about it.”

“What are you even doing here?” Rose said.

“Last time I checked, this was a public place,” Nick said. He grinned.

“So, where's your boyfriend?” Mira asked Sebby. “I thought he might be with you.”

“Who's your boyfriend?” Nick asked.

“He's not my boyfriend,” Sebby said.

“Seriously, Nick, go find your own booth,” Rose said. “We're doing homework here. That's something they assign to you at school.” She made a face of fake concern. “Oh, I'm sorry. How can I explain school to you? It's this place where you go five days a week . . .”

“Calm down, Rosewood. I'm not here to see you. I was hanging out with Sebby,” Nick said. “I do have a social life, you know. I'm not a total workaholic.” He shoved some fries into his mouth. “So who's
not
your boyfriend?” he asked Sebby.

“Jeremy,” Sebby said. “Jeremy is not my boyfriend.”

“That kid who was here after homecoming?”

“Yes,” Rose said.

Nick sat back and let out a short laugh.

“What?” Rose said. “Jeremy's great.”

“Yeah, no. He seems great,” Nick said, barely containing his amusement. “I just wouldn't have called that.”

“What would you have called, exactly?” Rose said.

“I would have called you . . . a bitch.” He laughed and got up
from the table, walked towards the bathrooms in the back.

“You're an asshole and no one likes you,” she called after him in a singsong voice.

“Were you really hanging out with him?” Mira asked Sebby.

“Yeah,” Sebby said. “He goes to my school.”

There was an awkward pause, then Sebby stood up.

“I'll be right back,” he said, and followed Nick.

Rose raised an eyebrow at Mira.

“Looks like someone's got a new buddy,” she said.

Before Mira could respond she saw Jeremy coming in the front door. She waved to him and he came over and sat down next to her.

“Hey,” he said. “What's going on?”

“Literally everything,” Rose said. “There is nothing that is not going on here.”

“Sebby's here,” Mira said.

“With Nick,” Rose said, making a face.

“He seems okay,” Jeremy said.

“He's a jerk,” Rose said.

The three of them sat and ate fries while Jeremy drew and Mira made another futile attempt at getting some work done. Finally she pushed away her notebook, annoyed.

“Where is Sebby?” she said.

“Back there somewhere,” Rose said, pointing behind them.

Mira got up.

“They're probably in the bathroom,” Rose said.

Mira walked to the back of the diner where the bathrooms
were, walked to the men's-room door and listened. She could hear Sebby talking inside. She pushed open the door and walked in.

He was sitting on the sink and Nick was using one of the urinals, facing away from her.

“Girl in the boys' room,” Sebby said.

“Came for a free show?” Nick said.

“You've been in here for almost half an hour,” Mira said.

Nick finished and zipped up his fly.

“A man's allowed to take his time in the bathroom, darlin',” he said. He walked past them and pushed the door open, went back into the other room.

“Ew, do guys really not wash their hands?”

“I do, but I'm very neat,” Sebby said. “Bodily fluids have their time and place.”

He hopped off the sink.

“What were you doing in here?” Mira said.

“Nothing,” Sebby said. “Just hanging out.”

“With Nick?”

Sebby turned on the water, started washing his hands.

“Yes. What's wrong with that?” he asked.

“I just don't know him.”

“That doesn't mean there's something wrong with him.”

Sebby hit the air blower and held his hands underneath to dry them.

“Is everything okay with you?” Mira yelled over the sound of the air.

Sebby waited until it turned off to answer.

“Yeah, of course,” he said. “Why wouldn't things be okay?”

“You're just acting weird.”

The door opened suddenly and a man started to come in, looked at Mira and apologized, embarrassed, then looked again at the sign on the door.

“She was just leaving,” Sebby said to the man, taking Mira's hand and pushing past him.

“Sebby,” Mira said, stopping him outside the bathroom door, “I'm serious.”

“I'm fine,” Sebby said.

“Would you tell me if you weren't?”

“How could I avoid it?” He started walking back to the table.

“That isn't an answer,” Mira said, following him.

When they got back to the table Nick stood up.

“I gotta get out of here,” he said to Sebby. “You coming?”

“Yeah, sure,” Sebby said. He turned to the table. “See you guys later.”

Mira sat down in her spot next to Jeremy and they watched through the window as Nick and Sebby got into Nick's car.

“Everything okay?” Jeremy asked.

“Yeah,” Mira said. “Sure. Everything's okay.”

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It was Dave's idea to invite Sebby and Mira to come and stay with us at the house in Ptown for part of the summer. My dad's general hatred of winter usually meant that he started talking about our summer plans in February, and this year was no exception.

“I've got that extra vacation time coming and I just think we should get up there as soon we can,” he was saying.

“It's still three months away, Dad,” I said.

“Yes, but if we spend the next three months planning the summer, the time will go by so much more quickly.”

“Somehow I don't think that's true.”

“I should go up after you so we overlap a little and Jeremy can have more time up there,” Dave said. “Unless your sister wants to come and stay again.”

“I can stay alone at the house,” I said. “You don't have to plan to be there with me.”

“No you can't,” my dad said.

“I don't need Aunt Patty babysitting me.”

“I think Pat is happy for the vacation,” Dad said. “And if you want to stay up longer you're going to need company. You already spend all of your time alone during the day up there. You're not going home to an empty house.”

What I couldn't say was that being away from Mira and Sebby for only ten days over Christmas had felt unbearable. I couldn't imagine not seeing them for most of the summer. But to say this to my dads would be unfair. I was lucky that we had a place to go for the summer. Was I that ungrateful to say that I would rather be with my friends than at the beach?

“I'll just come back when you guys do,” I said, hoping that I was being subtle. “I don't need to stay there longer.”

“What about if your friends come up?” Dave said.

I looked up from my plate.

“Really?”

Dave looked at Dad.

“Pat would still have to stay with you,” Dave said. “We're not leaving you without an adult. But there's no reason why the kids can't use the extra bedroom.”

Dad looked at me.

“Would you like that?”

I couldn't believe it. They were so excited by the idea of me having friends that they were willing to hand over the summer house to us.

“Are you serious?” I said.

“Sure,” Dad said. “Why not?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Yes. Um, I'll ask them.”

I had too much homework to do after dinner to go over to Mira's, and I felt this was news that had to be told in person, so I sent her and Sebby a cryptic text and said we had to meet at her house after school the next day.

Part of me was worried that they wouldn't be as excited as I was about the idea. Maybe I was blowing it up into something bigger than it was. I couldn't help but think that it would act as a kind of symbolic solidification of our friendship if I could bring them back to the place where they had gone together.

It was nearly ten o'clock and I was sitting on my bed drawing sketches for my painting when my dad walked by the door of my room. The faint sounds of the TV were floating up from downstairs, where Dave was getting his nightly fix of Judge Judy.

“Hey,” Dad said, stopping in my doorway.

“Hey,” I said.

“Do you like that idea about your friends coming to the house?”

“Yeah,” I said. “It would be fun.”

He glanced down at my sketchbook, where many versions of a boy's face were looking up at me.

“So, are you and Sebby . . . an item?” he asked.

“An item?”

“You know what I mean. Are you going out? Is he your boyfriend?”

I shook my head.

“I don't think he's my boyfriend,” I said.

“You don't think?”

“No,” I said. “He's just . . . He's Sebby.”

“Well, if you ever have anything you want to talk about . . .”

“I don't, Dad,” I said.

“Okay. Sorry. Forget I said anything.” He backed away from the door with his hands making joking peace-signs.

The next afternoon in Mira's room I told her and Sebby about Dave's idea. It was just the three of us alone together, something that was becoming increasingly rare. These days when we were together we were in the art studio, or at the diner with Rose. And nights at the diner usually ended with Nick arriving and Sebby leaving with him soon after.

Sebby was staying over at my house two or three nights a week now, always texting me around one a.m. to come and let him in, always gone before I woke up in the morning. The last time he stayed he had been even more jittery than usual, could barely lie still in the bed next to me. This was a different boy from the one that appeared in the daytime, the person that he was around Mira. And I didn't know what to do with the fact that his visits seemed to implicitly ask for my continued silence. I was keeping his secrets now, too.

But with the three of us together things felt back to normal. We could come back to the way that it was supposed to be.

I brought them a picture of the beach and the house, in case they needed convincing. They didn't.

“For real?” Mira said.

“It's not a big house or anything,” I said, looking at the picture, “but it's right by the bay.”

Sebby got up and did a dance on the bed.

“Summer in Ptown!”

“Do you think you could go?” Mira asked him.

“Yeah, what is Tilly going to do?” he said. “Force me to stay and ferry the kids to church camp?”

“She could try.”

Sebby rolled his eyes. “I am master of my own destiny.”

“Do you think you could come?” I asked Mira.

“I think so,” she said. “At least for part of the summer. It would be really fun.”

“First stop is the Governor Bradford,” Sebby said. “I have so many new songs to debut.”