Authors: Heather Jensen
Trey
I WAS HUNGRY, OR maybe it was thirsty. I still hadn’t figured out what to call it yet. Either way, I needed blood in a bad way. The vampire equivalent of your stomach growling is like a gnawing in the back of your head that just won’t go away, along with this incessant tingling in your fangs that’s almost enough to drive you crazy. It was making me edgy, to say the least. I had planned to take a cab out to the edge of town to feed before the show, but thanks to some last minute radio interviews Neon scheduled, I was short on time. No way I was going make it out of there and back before showtime. I was agonizing in silence in the lounge and trying to ignore the sound of the ping-pong ball Jonas and Chase were volleying back and forth behind me. Aurora came and sat next to me, leaning close enough to whisper.
“
You’re just going to have to feed nearby tonight,” she whispered, putting a hand on my knee to still my foot from bobbing up and down anxiously.
I bit my lip, but didn
’t argue. As much as I hated to admit it, she was probably right. The last thing I wanted to do was feed from a fan. It’s the one thing I swore I would never do, but I was getting desperate. I had no idea what not feeding would do to me, but I seemed to need blood more often than most fledglings for whatever reason. I sighed, tormented by my lack of options. Performing really took it out of me, especially if it had been more than two days since I’d had blood. I didn’t want to go onstage tonight without being able to give one hundred percent of myself to the fans, but was I desperate enough to take blood from one?
Aurora turned her hand over on my lap, subtly gesturing to a vein just below the skin on her wrist. I shook my head adamantly. I was not going to tax her any more than I already had by feeding from her twice this week.
And that was my answer.
I had to feed, and I had to prove to Aurora
– and to myself – that I could get by when she wasn’t here. I’d just have to silence the part of me that was screaming in the background that I was about to use a fan.
For blood.
Still, ignoring it didn’t make it any less true. I got to my feet and mumbled a lame excuse about needing to get some air before I left the lounge. The fresh air was actually quite nice when I finally found a door that led me outside the venue. I took in a few deep breaths, wishing that it was enough to calm my nerves. I turned left and headed toward the large covered parking garage. As I got closer I was surprised to see two busses parked end to end. Jerry was just stepping out of the second one, and I made my way over to him.
“
Did you just get here?” I asked, gesturing to the bus with a wave of my arm.
“
Yes sir,” he said, grinning and offering his hand in a greeting. “She’s road-worthy once again. I bet you’re glad to hear it.”
“
You have no idea,” I told him, shaking his hand. “Aurora will be happy. That’s for sure.”
“
What are you doing out here?” he asked casually.
“
Oh, I don’t know. Needed to get some air. I actually kind of thought there’d be some fans hanging around out here. Maybe they’ve all headed inside already.”
“
Not all,” he corrected me. “There’s a small group around the other side of the garage here. I just passed them.”
“
Maybe I’ll go say hi,” I said. “Glad to have you back.”
“
Glad to be back.”
I went around the garage to where Jerry had described seeing the fans. Sure enough, four girls and two guys were hanging around and taking pics with their cell phones in front of a big promo poster for tonight
’s show. They didn’t even notice me approaching so I decided to have a little fun.
“
I hear the lead singer is an ego-maniac,” I called out as I got close. Six heads turned to look at me, smiles spreading across their surprised faces as they realized it was me.
“
Trey!” one girl called out, taking a few steps toward me with her arms open in a hopeful request for a hug. She was tall, almost as tall as me, with long blonde hair streaked with blue. I obliged happily, putting my arms around her and letting her hold onto me for a little longer than was necessary.
“
What’s your name?” I asked when she pulled back.
“
Jes,” she said happily.
“
It’s good to meet you, Jes,” I said, giving her my million dollar smile. It was impossible not to be affected by her genuine appreciation for just being near me, and for a moment I almost forgot what I was there for. I introduced myself to the others as well, getting hugs from the other three girls and shaking hands with both of the guys. “I imagine you’re here for the show, then?” I asked them all, to which they responded with a bunch of nodding and enthusiasm. “Thanks for coming out,” I told them. “The rest of the guys and I really appreciate your support for us and for this new record.”
“
Are you kidding?” one of the guys responded. “The new record is amazing. It’s easily your best work.”
“
I’m glad you like it,” I said. “We worked really hard on it.”
“
Speaking of the rest of the guys, where are Jonas, Chase and O’Shea?” another one of the girls asked.
“
They’re already inside,” I said. “We just finished up some radio promo. Jonas and Chase are actually determined to kill a ping-pong ball in the lounge.”
“
Where’s your beautiful wife?” Jes asked, peeking around me briefly with excitement, as if Aurora might come walking around the corner in search of me.
I laughed softly and said,
“She’s chaperoning the ping-pong match.”
“
Awe,” Jes said, pouting. Then she shook it off and held her phone out. “Well, while we’ve got you here can we take some pics?”
“
Sure.” They took turns snapping phone pics and posing with me by the band poster until they were satisfied. “Well guys, I hate to say it, but I should probably be heading back inside.”
“
Do you have to go?” Jes asked. “This is my fourth show on the tour, and I just met you.”
I put my hands in my pocket and shrugged.
“Duty calls.” The disappointment on their faces pulled at my heartstrings, even though I’d known it was coming. What I did next was going to make me feel so much worse later on that I’d forget all about their current disappointment. “I tell you what,” I said. “I could probably sneak someone in for a quick look around backstage, but I can only take one of you.” The excitement was back, and I had to rein it in quickly. “Pick a number between one and twenty,” I said. Then I went down the line, pointing as they all rattled off their chosen number. I’d chosen thirteen, and Jes came closest with her guess of twelve. Lucky her. “Okay Jes, I guess you’re coming with me. I’ll see the rest of you when the show starts.” I waved goodbye and offered Jes my arm, which she happily accepted, and then led the way back inside the building.
“
This is so crazy,” she said as we walked. “I wouldn’t be doing this if you hadn’t wandered outside and been nice enough to come over and chat.”
I swallowed a giant ball of guilt that was trying to lodge itself in my throat. Nice isn
’t exactly the word I would use to describe what I was about to do to her, but if I thought too hard about it I was going to change my mind. Aside from a few curious glances from crew guys and venue security, no one questioned why I was wandering around inside with a fan. I took Jes to the stage, letting her view it from the side and trying to answer the questions she had about how things worked. The guys from Crosstalk were hanging around in the back and getting warmed up for their set, which just made me realize how little time I had before their part of the show would start. I quickly introduced Jes to all of them and then moved along, showing her a few more stops, including the dining room where most of the crew eats. I tried to make it as much of an official backstage tour as possible, more to lessen the guilt I was feeling than anything.
“
Can I see the lounge?” she asked, giving me her best puppy dog eyes.
“
Uh, maybe,” I said, not sure how to answer. “Let’s slip in here first,” I added, opening the door to an empty room and pulling her inside with me, locking it behind my back.
“
What’s this?” she asked, looking around at the emptiness.
“
This is our wardrobe,” I said. “You know, for all the many costume changes Catalyst does during the show.”
She raised an eyebrow at me, hesitating just a second before laughing
out loud. “You’re funny,” she said.
“
Yeah, that’s me.” I watched as she glanced over her shoulder, and I knew this was my chance. I quickly grabbed her wrist and pulled her to me, sinking my fangs into her neck. She froze, but relaxed as soon as I began sending soothing images into her mind. I falsified a memory of the two of us making a quick visit to the lounge to say hi to Aurora and the other guys as her blood burned, hot and delicious, down my throat. Her heart beat filled my ears, urging me to continue drinking, but I took only what little blood I needed to sustain myself. A flick of my tongue along the bite marks healed the wound completely. I had definitely needed this tonight. Every inch of my body was rejuvenated, like I was waking up from a hunger-induced sleep. I held onto Jes, wanting to be certain she could stand on her own. She blinked, and I saw the moment her eyes came back into focus. She smiled at me, and I quickly opened the door with my free hand. “Crosstalk will be taking the stage soon,” I said to her. “They’re good. You don’t want to miss their set. We’d better get you to your friends.”
“
Yeah,” she agreed. “Of course.”
I linked her arm through mine, holding it there to guide her as I walked her back toward the stage area. I walked her as far as I dared without opening myself up to being visible by the crowd, then I gestured for a venue security guy to come over.
“Would you mind helping her find her friends?” I asked him.
“
No problem,” he agreed.
Jes grinned up at me.
“Thanks for this,” she said. “And whoever told you the lead singer is an ego-manic deserves a punch in the face. He’s actually a pretty cool guy.”
I smiled back at her.
“I hope you enjoy the show.” She hugged me and I watched as she walked away. She didn’t seem to hate me, I thought. Maybe the aversion that comes with having a vampire feed from you takes a while to kick in, I thought sadly. The guys and I worked so hard to please our fans. It didn’t matter how many nights I watched them singing along to the words that I wrote, it was hard to believe that anyone would care enough about what we had to say to come out and support us. It went against everything in me to compromise that by feeding from someone who was that passionate about what we were doing. It felt like a betrayal, sharp and deep in the pit of my stomach. As rejuvenated as my vampire body was after having taken Jes’s blood, my heart was sickened by what I’d just done. I’d done the one thing I had sworn to myself I would never do.
There was no getting around that.
Aurora
I SNUCK OUT JUST long enough to meet my blood contact and replenish the supply. I called Trey to see where he was when I got back. He’d taken a walk earlier and I had no idea where he’d gone to.
“
We’re all in the lounge,” Trey said. “We’re getting ready to snap some pics of our Lego masterpieces and put them on the Fan Club for voting.”
“
I don’t want to miss that,” I said, grinning. “I’ll see you in a few.”
“
Sounds good.”
I hung up the phone and went to the bus, pulling my surprise out of the bottom cupboard near the door in our bedroom. When I walked into the lounge it took a second for all the guys to notice me, but one by one they all turned to see what I was holding in my hands.
“What in the-” Jonas began, but Trey interrupted him.
“
Did you make that?”
I grinned and held it up for him to inspect closer.
“Did you think I was going to miss out on the Lego contest?” I asked. “You clearly don’t know me very well.”
Trey
’s eyes grew wider the longer he looked at the Catalyst stage and set I had built, an exact replica (well, as exact as you can get with little bricks) made to scale.
“
I have a lot of down time while you’re doing soundchecks and radio promo,” I said matter-of-factly. “Now, where do I put this thing?”
I moved to hand it to Jonas but he took a step back, making room for me to carry it to the table myself, like he was afraid he might drop it if he took it from me. I set it down next to the rest of the creations and took a moment to admire them now that they were finished. None of the guys had been secretive of their designs, and I
’d seen them working on them on and off, but I hadn’t seen any of them completed until now. O’Shea’s was a surfboard that, according to Trey, matched the first surfboard O’Shea’s dad had ever built for him. Chase’s drum set looked exactly like the one he played every night, complete with Catalyst logo on the bass drum. Jonas had created a miniature mixing board with dials and knobs that seemed to legitimately match the one I’d seen in Ken’s studio, for example. Trey had created our tour bus, complete with wheels and a clear windshield. Although you couldn’t see inside of it, the brick versions of the guys on the outside of it were hilarious.
“
That is seriously awesome,” Chase said as he stared at my stage. “Yours has my vote.”
“
Thanks,” I said, patting his arm.
Jonas proceeded to snap pictures of all our creations and then uploaded them to the
Fan Club for voting.
“
Fifty bucks says mine gets more votes than yours,” O’Shea said to Trey, holding out his closed fist for Trey to bump.
“
You’re on,” Trey said, hitting O’Shea’s fist lightly with his own.
“
I mean, we’re both going to lose now that Aurora is involved,” O’Shea said, grinning, “But I’m still going to beat you.”
A few hours later the sound of Trey’s heart pounding in my ear woke me. I’d fallen asleep with my head on his chest in our bed after the show, but we had our own bus back, and with it came some much needed privacy. I could see through the window that the moon had already crossed half of the sky, which meant that it was the middle of the night. The bus hummed along, carrying us closer to the next town with every mile.
“
What’s wrong?” I asked softly.
Trey hesitated. He hadn
’t realized I was awake. “Nothing,” he said. “I’m good.”
But even without the super-hearing, I was positioned perfectly to hear his heart trip.
“You’re a terrible liar.” He chuckled, a soft rumble that came from deep in his chest. I raised my head to look at him. His brown hair was messy, which was my favorite way of seeing it, but his blue eyes looked dark with a burden I didn’t understand. “Tell me,” I said. I pressed my lips to the center of his chest, feeling the lub-dub of his vampire heart against my mouth as I planted a soft kiss there.
“
I just ... I dunno.” He sighed, and I slid up, laying my head in the crook of his shoulder. He brushed my hair away from my face with his fingers as I waited patiently for him to continue. “I fed on a fan before the show tonight,” he said, and suddenly I understood that tortured look in his eye.
“
How did that go?” I asked.
“
Fine, I guess,” he said. “I mean, she was only too happy to come with me for a ‘backstage tour’.” He drew sharp little air quotes with his free hand in frustration. “I don’t know which part bothers me more,” he added. “The fact that I took blood from a fan – which I swore I would never do – or the fact that it was so easy to pull off.”
“
You can’t help how much your fans love you,” I said.
“
Maybe not,” he agreed. “But I can sure as hell not take advantage of it.” His fingers, which had been drawing light circles and swirls on the bare skin of my shoulder, paused. His fist balled up, and I reached out, covering it with my own. “That’s what I did tonight,” he continued. “I took advantage of someone who just wanted to be close to me.”
“
Like it or not, that’s part of the vampire gig,” I said softly, knowing he wasn’t going to like hearing it. “We’re beautiful, desirable, and charismatic. Humans are drawn to us for many reasons. Without those qualities, we’d have a much harder time surviving as a species. It’s part of a vampire’s genetic makeup. You just happen to have a sea of humans who were drawn to you before you were reborn as a creature of the night.”
“
Yeah, I guess.” He sighed again, and I felt him plant a kiss on my hair. “I know you’re right.”
“
I usually am,” I said, hoping to at least get a smile out of him.
He snorted. Mission accomplished.
“You know what the worst part about tonight is?” he asked. “The girl – Jes was her name – she’s a huge fan of the band. She was cool, too. Not at all crazy and stalker-like. But after what I did to her tonight, she’s going to develop the aversion. She’ll probably never see another one of our shows again. As far as that goes, she might not be able to stand the sound of my voice, let alone want to be in the same building as me. I don’t care how great of a show we put on, I didn’t like being on stage and knowing that was the last time she’d come out to see us. Ever. And that’s all on me. I did that to her. And if that’s not enough, I have this sinking feeling in my stomach, like I’m betraying the guys at the same time. It was such a hard road, trying to get our music out there for people to hear. Now we’ve finally got a solid fan base, and I’m scaring them off with these?” He unsheathed his fangs with dramatic flair. “It’s no wonder I’m not sleeping.”
I sat up, propping myself up on one elbow.
“You’re not going to eat your way through your fan base,” I said, raising an eyebrow at him. “You’re still new at this, and not nearly good enough to pull that off.” He smiled in spite of himself, and let out a deep sigh, his chest heaving and falling. “You know what you’re problem is?” I said.
“
Hmm?”
“
You were too good at the whole being human thing.”
“
Ah,” he said, nodding. “And that’s a bad thing?”
“
No,” I countered. “It’s a Trey thing. It just makes the vampire thing harder to get used to.”
He thought on that for a moment, and I wondered if I was any help at all, but then he brought my hand to his lips and kissed it softly.
“There are parts of this ‘vampire thing’ that I’m really getting used to,” he offered.
I tilted my chin so I could look at him.
“Oh yeah? Like?”
“
The night vision, for one.” His sat up, and his icy blue eyes drilled right into me, causing a ball of fire to ignite in my chest. I responded instantly by allowing my own eyes to take on their supernatural luminescence and my fangs to slide into position. Everything about him came into clear focus. I gazed at him unabashedly, following the lines of his hard muscles as he stretched his frame and leaned over me, his hand pinning mine above my head. My lips parted in tortured anticipation as his face inched slowly toward me. He brushed my mouth ever so softly with his, but only in passing. He moved on, trailing soft kisses along my collarbone. I closed my eyes as every one of my nerve endings awoke at his simple touch, causing me to shiver.
He sat up then, releasing my hand, and I opened my eyes to find myself caught in his cool, blue gaze. He seemed to be enjoying the night vision, but so was I. I couldn
’t have looked away if I’d wanted to. The smile that stretched across his face now was cocky, satisfied. He glanced down briefly, and then his gaze came back up to meet mine again. He pushed my tank top up a few inches and lowered himself to place a slow, tender kiss on my belly button. I twisted my fingers into his hair, and when he leaned forward again his lips came crashing down on mine. I ran my hands up and down his chest and along the grooves in his abdomen as he gently nipped at my bottom lip. Trey’s kiss was explosive, and with it I experienced a range of emotions, but none of the shame and guilt that had plagued him just moments before. He was already letting go of it all, and I was proud of him for it.