Fan Girl (41 page)
Authors: Brandace Morrow
“I think it’s just hormones, hon,” the nurse tells him. Fuck hormones. I need my baby. The door clicks shut and the bed depresses under me. Deklan pushes, pulls and lifts me, causing pain everywhere until we’re laying together on the tiny hospital bed. He’s over me, protecting me.
From what?
On his side, his leg is cocked with a knee leaning over my smaller body, but not touching the aches there. One arm under me, the other wrapped around my head as he sticks his nose in my hair. He breathes unevenly, deeply. His muscles shake around me as I breathe him in as well. His cologne is gone. He smells like sweat, musky like a man. I breathe as deeply as my ribs allow, filling myself with him, the only comfort I can.
“Ali,” he chokes.
My body jerks as I cry and his arms get tighter, his face puts more pressure to the side of my head. “I will never let you go. Never. I love you. Everything is going to be okay.”
“I love you,” I whisper as my eyes close.
~
I blink my eyes open slowly. Deklan is still wrapped around me, breathing deeply in sleep. My eyes travel from his dark beard to his throat, Adam’s apple prominent in his position and the sharp black point of his tattoo just visible at the side of his neck. He shifts slightly and tucks his chin to see me. Bright green eyes framed by black lashes study me with such a tender expression that I want to cry. Again. “You’re so beautiful,” I tell him.
Deklan smirks. “You stole my line.” He swallows and lifts his hand to move some hair gently from my face. Whispering he tells me, “I’ve never been so scared in my life as when Darcy started screaming that day.” The muscles of his face twitch and he blinks several times before licking his lips. “If anything happened to you, I would die.”
Weeping, I ball my fist in his t-shirt and growl angrily. “Deklan. I want my baby. I want my baby.”
Deklan pulls his head back to look in my face, his eyes moving, searching with his eyes. “I can’t get her for you, sweetheart. She’s not here.”
His body rocks as I push him back with my IV taped hand. “Give me my baby!” I yell.
Deklan sits up and pushes the nurse call button as I disintegrate. The door opens an eternity later. “She wants to see the baby. Can we do that?”
The nurse looks at me and her face fills with compassion. “Of course. Let’s try to get you in a wheelchair.” She leaves and comes back, pushing a hospital grade wheelchair in front of her, and stopping next to the bed. When she lowers the rails, Deklan carefully lifts me from the bed.
As the nurse pushes my chair with the IV swaying over my head, Deklan takes my hand. My body flashes hot then cold as we pass the elevators. My eyes search Deklan’s face as he squeezes my hand gently. My reality flips and changes, my vision flashing black as I look to the door they push me toward.
Neonatal Intensive Care Unit
My head lolls to the side before I remember to breathe. Deklan is supporting my cheek when I focus, his face a mask of concern. “Ali? Ali, are you okay? Are you passing out?”
I smile at his gorgeous face, my cheeks wetting with tears that fall happily down my cheeks. “I’m great,” I tell him. Poor thing, he looks so confused as he stands, and lets the nurse push me through the door he holds open.
We have to wash our hands and put on smocks, me over the gown I’m wearing. The nurse stays with me, unable to leave her patient. I smile at all of the nurses and little paper signs with names on them over plastic incubators. Parents smile back tiredly to me, and I want to hug them all. Our babies are alive!
We stop at the second to last station of machines. There’s a bright rectangle light hanging over a clear plastic walled bassinet. The baby inside has lights under her, and gauze wrapped over her eyes. A mask over her face blows oxygen, and there's a small tube taped to the side of her mouth. She’s clad only in a diaper, her skin red and shiny. Her little tiny hands are more fingers than palm, and wrapped with tubes connecting her to machines along the wall. Her small feet are black and blue with Band-Aids over the heels.
I put my hand to my mouth and cry. All I’ve been doing is crying. But this, this is worth crying over. Deklan leans down to me again. “I know she looks rough right now, but the doctors say she’s right on track. A few more weeks and she should be able to come home.”
I shake my head and lower my hand. “She’s perfect.”
He smiles and his eyes go shiny, his brows scrunching up as he leans his forehead to mine whispering, “Right?”
Chapter 43
We stay a while, and the nurses tell us Nola just left. I guess she’s been camped out, making sure Teagan got the best care. They explain to me how the baby has jaundice and needs to stay under the lights to help break up the bilirubin cells that her liver can’t digest yet. Her heels are bruised from blood tests monitoring the condition. They tell me she’s doing remarkably well breathing on her own now, having come off of breathing tubes the day before, but are keeping her on the oxygen mask because she isn’t regulating her pulse oxygen level without it.
I learn that I was in a coma for days and had been in and out of consciousness for another five days. I was on so much medication for my injuries that they couldn’t use my milk so have been giving Teagan formula. I immediately ask if I can get my milk supply back and healthy enough for her. They tell me some of the drugs aren’t going to leave my system to feed her safely for a while.
I’m momentarily discouraged until a nurse asks me if I want to feed the baby. I nod, greedy to get my hands on my child. They hand me a syringe filled with formula screwed in to the tube connected to Teagan that leads to her stomach. I blink in shock before slowly taking the syringe. I push the plunger down slowly, watching my baby twitch and move under the over bright lights.
Deklan has a hand on my shoulder and leans down to kiss my head as I pass the syringe back. “You can touch her,” he tells me softly.
I lift my hand shakily until I can touch just the tip of my finger to her toes. She flinches back and kicks out causing me to laugh through water filled eyes.
“She’s got her mom’s skills,” Deklan tells me.
I look over my shoulder at him and smile as I remember the first time I told him I kick boxed.
So much time has passed, yet it hasn’t even been a year. I look back at our daughter and know that I wouldn’t change a second of this year. New Year’s Eve was meant to happen, and I will forever be grateful.
When we get back to my room I’m transferred back onto my bed, but I decline pain medicine. I ask to have the IV taken out and the nurse leaves to get the doctor as Deklan goes to the restroom. I close my eyes and thank God for my baby. I thank him for my husband and that I survived, but most of all for her.
Click click click down the hall, there’s the sound of heels hitting the hard floor. My heartbeat accelerates as I keep my eyes closed. “Ali…” the snake whispers, my name stretched out to fill several seconds. She smiles as she shuts the door behind her, and I pick my head up. “Oh, you’re awake? That’s so great. I’ll be sure to tell Deklan, he’s been spending so much time with his daughter.”
“Our daughter. Deklan and mine,” I correct her.
She shrugs and takes a seat by the bed. “More his than yours. More mine than yours, if you want to go by the time spent with either of them.”
I feel my lip wanting to curl as the hate for this woman seeps from my pores. “Why do you keep taunting me? I am his wife!” I snarl.
She crows. “Oh, if you knew, Ali! Deklan married you because you were knocked up.” She looks around wide-eyed and holds a hand out. “Now you’re not.”
I swallow hard. “Why did you make me think my baby was dead?”
Brittany’s eyes turn steely. “You better kiss that baby goodbye, because she will stay with her father. And her father stays with me,” she says firmly.
“You’re fired, Brittany,” Deklan says from the doorway of the connecting bathroom. His face is red, and he’s breathing hard.
Brittany visibly pales. “Deklan, I thought you would be with Teagan.”
He starts walking toward her slowly. “Obviously, you fucking bitch.”
“Dek. It was just a misunderstanding. I don’t know what she’s been telling you.” She laughs, like they’re sharing an inside joke.
Deklan’s green eyes glitter, but not in amusement. “You have until I get to that IV line to get out before I strangle you with it, you piece of shit. You will never work in this town again.”
Brittany starts staggering back on her high heels toward the door, blinking like she’s dazed.
Deklan takes a giant step toward her in the tiny room and barks out, “Run!”
She takes off, her shoes clicking down the hall, sounding like they were thrown down a flight of stairs.
My eyes go to Deklan. “I’m sorry babe. I had no idea she was doing any of that. You should have told me.”
I shake my head slightly. He walks over to the side of my bed and sits on the edge. “Did I scare you?”
I shake my head again, a slight smile forming. “I’ve never been as hot for you as I am right now.” Deklan throws back his head, his laugh echoing down the hall after his ex-assistant.
Epilogue
Bodies leaning toward each other, hands squeezing tight, palms sweating and knees shaking under our evening gowns, we look toward the lights. Sitting in our plush velvet seats with smiles so wide our cheeks hurt, we don’t look away from the men on stage. As the lead singer thanks me for being the ultimate fan girl, I reflect on the journey that brought us here.
It’s been two years since the car accident that caused me to go into labor. Both the van and impatient driver behind me pushed me into the cement divide. That caused my head to crack against the window and when I woke up and didn’t have my pregnant belly anymore, I lost it.
Turns out I was in an induced coma for four days. My left arm was broken in three places, and my left leg was severely bruised. Plus I had a c-section. Going into labor in a huge pile up apparently also means you lose a ton of blood. By the time the paramedics got me out of the crumbled car, Deklan was on the scene and able to go with me in the ambulance. He swears that’s when he started getting gray hair.
Teagan Delaney Thomas only weighed three pounds four ounces when she was born. Deklan moved into my hospital room and refused to leave while Nola made nice with the NICU nurses to watch over Teagan. She came home four weeks to the day after she was born. She is still perfect.
After Brittany left, we decided to share Darcy, who has gotten a significant raise and does a fantastic job. It made sense, since I had never had a problem with her. She never came on to Deklan, and we were always together, so we decided to just pool our resources. Yes, after the accident, Deklan wouldn’t go anywhere without me. He made a big publicity stunt offering to fund a private airstrip to any pilots that excelled at what they did and had a solid business plan, but didn’t mind making a million twenty-minute flights a day to Los Angeles for celebrities. My wonderful husband picked the Air Force pilots that had seen combat and wanted a quieter life. They set up the airstrip right outside of the gate and it’s the preferred travel method for all the hot shots moving to the area. To say they’re successful is an understatement. They also offer lessons, and Deklan is about to be certified.
The album came out and it was incredible. The tour was huge. Della and I made sure our families got our own tour buses, and it wasn’t as hectic as I feared. Now we’re at an awards ceremony where Rolling Bridges just won for Entertainers of the Year and are about to close the show.
When the lights go down, Della and I jump up from our seats and watch the host make the band’s introduction into the camera. As soon as he’s done talking, I start clapping and yelling. The lights come up in a blaze and there they are. My favorite band. I jump and sing along as Deklan puts one hand on the mic stand, catching the spotlight on his wedding ring. His other hand he lifts toward the roof, raising his head. He started doing this after the accident, too. He said he’s thanking God for another chance to make music and for his family.
After he brings his hand down, he locks eyes with me and sings about a little slice of heaven on the outskirts of town, and I know one thing is certain. I will forever be his fan girl.
About the Author
Brandace Morrow is an Army wife currently overseas with her four small children, two dogs and badass soldier. Her addictions are Maroon 5, Rum and Coke, and books, in no particular order. You can find her on social media:
Now that you’ve read the book check out the Pinterest idea board with all of those cool outfits, hot spots, and see what Deklan and Ali look like to the author!
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