Falter (31 page)

Gavyn followed me as I wandered through the apartment toward the bathroom. He scooted around me and removed a towel from the small corner cabinet.

“I’ll go find ya some clothes.” He paused next to the sink for a moment as if fighting the need to leave.

“Okay.” I took the towel from his hand and waited for him to decide on his next move.

“Kay, then.” He left, tugging the door closed behind him.

I sat the towel on the counter and looked myself over in the mirror.
 

What a mess
. I was covered in dirt, blood from my nose, and…
what the hell was that goo?
Bruises and a few burn marks marred my skin, bringing fresh pain when I accidently brushed against them.
And I thought the streets were rough on me.
 

I shuffled out of my disgusting clothes, careful not to cause myself more pain, and turned the faucet on. My hand thawed as I held it under the heating rush of water to find a tolerable temperature. I pulled the shower lever into place and slid the navy-blue curtain closed to trap the glorious heat inside the tub.

Gavyn tapped lightly the door. I yanked the towel from the counter, wrapped it around me, and then let him in. “All I could find were some old sweats and a t-shirt of mine.” He neatly set the clothes on the edge of the sink and rested a hand on top of them. His shy eyes grazed over me through the mirror. “Hope these’ll be alright.”

“They’re fine.” I couldn’t care less about what I was wearing at this point, but I smiled appreciatively.
 

“Need anything else?” The tension between us grew with every second he stayed. His tongue ran across his plump lips, leaving a pretty, wet sheen.
 

I wanted to get lost in him. I wanted to surrender myself to the somewhat normal life he represented. I
needed
him.

“Yes,” I breathed, a little shocked that I actually said it. Butterflies flittered in my belly at the notion of making a move on him, but I had to follow through. I had to see where our attraction might lead. Stepping closer to Gavyn, I slid my fingers along his sharp jaw and coaxed his face down to kiss me. He didn’t resist.

I detected that undeniable aroma again, the one that called to me when Archard was around, drifting on the puffs of steam escaping the shower curtain. I refused to break from Gavyn. I refused to let Archard distract me whenever he felt like it.

You only come when it’s convenient for you. I can’t rely on the feelings I have when you’re around. I need someone that wants me wholeheartedly and won’t make me feel your emotional lies. You can’t keep doing this to me,
I thought, begging for a reprieve from the angel.

Nevaeh, I do not want to cause you torment. I will leave you with him if that’s what you want, but you can’t deny your feelings. You know they are true. You cannot hide from the many choices you need to make, either. Remember that.
 

His voice in my head, along with the fragrance he emitted, vanished as quickly as they had manifested.

I relaxed into Gavyn’s embrace, our tongues softly twisting around one another. His lightly callused thumbs brushed my back just above the edge of the towel clinging to my body. It felt good. It felt real. Something I could grasp onto without the chance of it fleeing.

Gavyn trailed his hands slowly down my sides, then broke our kiss to look into my eyes. His brow furrowed as he searched my face.
 

Without a word, he walked to the shower and held out his hand, inviting me closer. I wasn’t sure what would happen, but I accepted the invitation anyway. I trusted him and how I felt with him.
 

My feelings
were
betraying me. I was falling fast for Gavyn.

A thankful smile formed on his mouth when my palm covered his. He gently squeezed my hand then let go of it. Strong chest and stomach muscles flexed and stretched as he pulled his shirt up over his head. Then there was a moment of delay. Everything he did was slow and begged for my approval.
 

Pleased with his need for assurance—and where things seemed to be going—I moved my trembling hands to his pants and clumsily unbuttoned them. He released a deep, raspy groan as my fingers brushed his lower abdomen while I worked.
 

The quickness of his breath excited me. Silky moisture gathered between my thighs.

Finally, I pushed his jeans and briefs down, sliding them over his thick thighs and letting them drop to the floor. I bit the inside of my cheek and kept my gaze fixated on his sexy lips, too nervous to look at the lower half of his body. He watched my expression curiously and grinned when I stilled.

Gavyn lifted his hands to unfasten the towel tucked at my breasts. I quickly knocked his hands away, blocking his action—a reflex from years of having to fend off sexually depraved goons. Realizing what I’d done, I yanked my arms back down.
 

“Sorry,” I said, my cheeks heating with shame and embarrassment. He was standing naked in front of me, completely vulnerable, and I automatically denied him the same from myself.

Gavyn leaned in close to my face. “Relax,” he whispered next to my temple, “we can say stop at any time.” Catching a matted piece of my hair between his fingers, he pushed it back behind my ear and kissed my cheek. Before his lips left my skin, I turned and entrapped his mouth with mine. Kissing him relentlessly, I made my intentions clear. I most certainly did not want to stop.

Suddenly, the terry cloth that was separating us fell to the floor. My nipples hardened, prodding against his panting chest. He grinded into me and the trail of hair along his bare stomach tickled my navel. I moaned into his mouth, my legs weakening from the pressure of his bulge teasing the delicate mound of skin at the apex of my thighs.
 

His strong hands reached around my hips and cupped the base of my rear, lifting me off the ground. Impulsively, I wrapped my legs around him for a better grip. Another gruff growl escaped him, and a gentle squeeze braced my bottom. I beseeched his hands to explore farther and find where I was most sensitized—for him to feel how slick and excited I was.

He stumbled out of the pants bunched around his ankles and carried us into the shower. Little droplets of hot water sprinkled down my back, puckering my chilled skin. Gavyn carefully lowered me down and guided me under the showerhead.

His attentive hands wet my long, tangled hair and directed the water over my body. Every caress made me want him more, but I held tight reigns on my desire and enjoyed the moment. There was no need to rush. I was safe with him.
 

He lathered soap into a washcloth and started at my shoulders, rubbing leisurely circles while working his way down. I quivered as he washed away the filth. Tortured whimpers vibrated from my lips when he slid the washcloth over the throbbing areas I wanted him to explore so badly, but he remained mindful not to touch me with his bare hands and not for too long. The gentle pressure of his fingers was just as effective through the soapy cloth as it would have been without it though. The sensation of his hand rubbing over my hardened nipples, palming the plump curves of my breasts, dragging the rag down my trembling stomach and slipping between my folds—it was just as tantalizing as I imagined.

The strain in his expression hinted that if he touched me—flesh to flesh—it would all be over. The gentleman in him would not be in control anymore. Something more feral would take over.
 

Oh, how I wished he would let loose. My insides spasmed with an eager hunger for him. I wasn’t sure how much more I could handle. I leaned back into his chest and looked up over my shoulder at the beautiful, olive eyes exploring my naked body.

I could tell he was thinking of the intimate things he wanted to do with me by the passion in his eyes and the quickening change in his breath; not to mention, the swelling length of flesh between his legs, pressing against my ass.

His need to respect and ask permission was becoming a bit frustrating. I wanted him to overtake me, to lose control and do what he wanted. However, the fact that he kept his composure let me know he wasn’t the type to get what he wanted then leave, as was my experience in the past. He respected me, and he appreciated me. For that, I was thankful. If only I could control
myself
a little better.

When he was done with me, he washed himself. I’d reached out for the rag, intending to return the favor, but he backed away shaking his head, refusing to let me have it. He had just washed every part of my tightly wound body. I was going to, at least, see what he was denying me. Abandoning shyness, I let my eyes follow the soapy water as it trickled down rope after rope of delightful muscle.
 

Warmth swirled in my veins as I watched. My body reacted with arousal, swelling here and tightening there all over again. Dewy moisture slickened my thighs, eagerly readying for such a man. He was stunning.
 

He turned away to let the water rinse his dark hair, and I couldn’t stop myself from gliding my hand down his sudsy neck and wide shoulders. His body stiffened as I traced my fingers from the toned ridges between his shoulder-blades to the underside of his perfectly rounded, muscular ass. I grinned, feeling dozens of goosebumps raise under my touch.
 

He gasped as I slowly pressed myself into his back—flesh to flesh. He continued to wash, permitting my hands to wind around his torso from behind and wander along the ripples on his chest. I would have to be content with just touching him. For now.
 

As I let my hands wander farther down, circling his navel with my finger and venturing below the tiny divot, he grabbed my wrist and gently pulled free from my hold. He turned around and smiled sheepishly, stepping under the shower’s waterfall to rinse his front side. I licked my lips, watching the suds slide down his masculine form. He leaned in close, teasing me further, and reached to turn off the cooling water.
 

“If we start, I won’t be able to stop.”

“So don’t,” I permitted with a mischievous grin.

He froze, debating some internal battle as he eyed my wet body. Apparently coming to an answer, he reached for the towel outside of the shower and gently patted the droplets from my skin. Gavyn wrapped the fabric snugly around my chest and waited for me to climb out of the tub.
 

Confused, I leaned a hip against the sink, watching him dry and step out onto the floor. His brow furrowed again when he shot a glance my way. Was he really holding back to be a gentleman, or was there something else?

“I’ll make ya something to eat. Go ‘head and get dressed.” He bent down to kiss my forehead as he fastened the towel around his waist. Shutting the door behind him, he left me cold and alone in the bathroom.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

A Choice to Be Made

I opened the bathroom door and stepped into the hallway. The mouthwatering odors of pancakes and coffee wafted through the apartment. I couldn’t remember the last time I ate. I gladly let my feet carry me toward the kitchen.
 

Every few steps, I stumbled over the too-long legs of Gavyn’s sweatpants and attempted to roll them up—only to have them unroll with the next step. I had to admit, there was something erotic about being in his clothing. I loved knowing his body had stretched against the threads covering my skin. Even after laundering, I could still smell faint hints of his cologne embedded in the fibers.
 

“Are you sure?” I heard Gavyn ask as I neared the end of the hallway.

“Not exactly, but we think so.” I stopped in my tracks when Malach’s voice answered.

“Alright, then. I’ll figure out what to tell her.”
 

My stomach soured at Gavyn’s response. Was he going to lie about something? What was he hiding? His words planted a seed of distrust in my heart, a seed that threatened to take root and abolish any faith I’d finally instilled in him.

“Okay.” There was a pause, then a noisy chewing sound. “Man, these pancakes are awesome. Glad you made them for me.”
 

“I didn’t make ‘em for you, but help yourself, asshole.” Obvious sarcasm and irritation flared in Gavyn’s tone.

“Now, now. Is that anyway to talk to an all holy being of the Heavens?” Malach pouted, feigning sadness and shock.

“Yeah, well, I’m not so sure how holy your intentions are. You keep giving me more bad news and expecting me to do the dirty work.”

The angel chuckled.
 

“Are you gonna stay and eat everything I’m cooking for her, or are you leavin’ sometime soon?” Pans banged and grease sizzled as Gavyn scolded Malach.

“I’m leaving, don’t worry. You have much to tell her, that is your job after all. Unless you’ve changed your mind as to what side you’re on now.”

“Not yet, but if you keep pushing me, I may reconsider.”

“Hey, I’m just the messenger.” A frenzy of wind kicked up in the apartment, blowing my hair in every direction. “Hello, Nevaeh.” Malach’s deep, knowing voice startled me from my eavesdropping.

“Hi.” Embarrassed, I emerged from the shadows of the hall just in time to see him and his glory crash through the ceiling. The pressure temporarily took my breath, and the thunderous crash of his exit rang in my ears. It wasn’t as bad as the first time he blasted through Gavyn’s roof, but it was definitely noticeable. Hopefully in time, this would all get easier.